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a wee joke[see if u can follow on with another one]

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By *eather OP   Woman  over a year ago

glasgow

Porn gives young people the wrong idea.Of how quickly a plumber can come to your house

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth, in and out...

... She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back.

She was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding, her face was flushed.

Then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,

"Okay, Okay! I can’t park the car! You do it, you smug ba***rd!"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What do you call a Scottish guy half in his house half out his house?

Hamish!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

What is NATO?

Its a name given by a scotsman to his mate who's had severe frostbite of the foot!

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By *ohnny4playMan  over a year ago

Kinross


"What is NATO?

Its a name given by a scotsman to his mate who's had severe frostbite of the foot! "

A wee calf - A scots term for a weeks holiday.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Dear Deardrie, My boyfriend's a right dick! He told me the best cure for constipation was anal sex. I didn't believe him but after some persuasion, he talked me into it and I let him stick his big fat cock into my tiny little arsehole. He shagged me up the bum really hard then after a while, shot his load deep into my bowels. He's just rung me this morning saying he wants to try it again as he's still constipated. What should I do?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ever wondered why Native Americans wear feathers.

CNN news sent an investigator to the Reservation to find out

She asked the Chief.

He replied number of feathers equal number of sex partners.

"See him, one feather, one partner. Him 2 feathers, 2 partners

She asks "But you have many feathers"

"Yes me Chief I fuck many women"

"My god you should be hung"

"Yes hung like buffalo, long like snake"

She replies "Do you have to be so hostile"

"Hoss style, dog style any style "

"Oh dear "

"No dear ass to far off ground, run too fast"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Why do some monkeys have red balls???.....

So they can hide up cherry trees....

What's the loudest noise in the jungle????.....

A Giraffe eating cherries......

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

2 monkeys get into a bath, 1 monkey says to the other "oooh-ooh-ooh-ahhh-oh ah-ah-ooh" and the other 1 says ................"WELL PUT SOME COLD WATER IN THEN "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Two tomatoes walking down the road, one says to the other. You run along. Al ketchup later

Lol

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By *eenonfun2Couple  over a year ago

Glasgow

Oscar wanted to get a new bathroom door but his partner was dead against it

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