FabSwingers.com > Forums > Scotland > Out of your league
Out of your league
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Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
You are not alone, we all have our insecurities, even the most glamourous. But yes I completely agree. |
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By *hyme2020Woman 9 weeks ago
Glasgow Scotland |
I always do this too and I always feel like I talk myself down as if I am trying to prevent disappointment prior to sending a face pic because of my insecurities. Doesn’t matter what anyone says about you, if it’s not what you feel inside, you don’t believe them. |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
Nope, I know I'm a match for anyone in being enjoyable company, social or sexual but they don't know me or you and you have to connect quick or make an interest because if not there is a huge amount who think the next profile is better than the last 
Preference is preference, we all have our interests people wise |
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By *ee69Man 9 weeks ago
glasgow |
Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat?
Duno m8 tbh a used to say that but a just give it a go now , a find most of time your get dinged anway so might as well go fir it lol |
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I will just pass couples or woman who are to attractive and those people who have been active for years. Not putting these people down in any way I just think they have heard all the chat before. Definitely can interact with people face to face better. |
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Reverse uno... You look at them and decide they're too hot to message, meanwhile they're looking at you thinking "way out my league".
As another poster noted - what have you got to lose? So long as you can handle rejection, I say go for it! Plus no one is ever going to say "nah sorry mate, you're a five but I think I'm an 8 so bad luck!"
And if they do, well you dodged a bullet because that's just unkind and uneccesary. |
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"Reverse uno... You look at them and decide they're too hot to message, meanwhile they're looking at you thinking "way out my league".
As another poster noted - what have you got to lose? So long as you can handle rejection, I say go for it! Plus no one is ever going to say "nah sorry mate, you're a five but I think I'm an 8 so bad luck!"
And if they do, well you dodged a bullet because that's just unkind and uneccesary. "
Very true  |
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I basically view most people as out my league, but that's a me problem, not someone else's.
It's likely related to a lack of confidence after all that's happened in my live in the last few years.
I TRY to not let it hold me back, but it's not easy.
Mandy |
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I go through phases of this, other times I just think fuck it and wink if I like what I see, if they wink back or message then take it from there. Not sure if the mr does any of this though or if its just me lol
C x |
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No one is out of anyone’s league only those who think they are !
What do you have to lose by dropping someone a message !?
If it’s a no it’s a no just move on to the next profile .
Be confident and you never know the fun you could have  |
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"No one is out of anyone’s league only those who think they are !
What do you have to lose by dropping someone a message !?
If it’s a no it’s a no just move on to the next profile .
Be confident and you never know the fun you could have
"
This is exactly how it should be.. |
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Great replies
Nobody should feel as is they are above or below us when it comes to looks.
I try and talk person to person first without any expectations like if I see something that interests me in a status or profile. If it goes any further bonus.
It is easy for us all to assume at times but if we think it's a lost cause might as well go for it.
|
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
I'd you don't ask you don't get mate
Prob won't get anyway lol..but I still ask  |
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100% I always wonder 'why did they wink/msg me?' - are they playing the odds, contact everyone and someone is bound to reply.... so either they are too hot for me or they'll dip their stick in anything 
I don't tend to send the first message, but then, neurodivergant with rejection sensitive dysphoria so I try not to be rejected and hate rejecting others....
Oooof this fab malarkey is hard work for an overthinker! Hahahaha |
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Came back on here a wee while back and yep nothing has changed , the amount of nice messages I leave and nothing nasty I don't even get a no thanks most of the time they go unanswered or I even get blocked ffs |
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"100% I always wonder 'why did they wink/msg me?' - are they playing the odds, contact everyone and someone is bound to reply.... so either they are too hot for me or they'll dip their stick in anything
I don't tend to send the first message, but then, neurodivergant with rejection sensitive dysphoria so I try not to be rejected and hate rejecting others....
Oooof this fab malarkey is hard work for an overthinker! Hahahaha"
Don’t understand why people wink you wink back and then nothing |
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"100% I always wonder 'why did they wink/msg me?' - are they playing the odds, contact everyone and someone is bound to reply.... so either they are too hot for me or they'll dip their stick in anything
I don't tend to send the first message, but then, neurodivergant with rejection sensitive dysphoria so I try not to be rejected and hate rejecting others....
Oooof this fab malarkey is hard work for an overthinker! Hahahaha"
And thats a point people should think off not everyone is comfortable saying no thanks it's not ignorance.
I don't like rejecting people either. Suppose could alway just tell them they remind you of a family member to much haha |
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By *nver40Man 9 weeks ago
Inverness |
I’m a scruffy guy and feel like virtually everyone is in a league above…. On the rare occasions I get out to play then I’m usually amazed by how welcoming and appreciative folk can be. Average or smoking hot…. We all have needs. |
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By *ee69Man 9 weeks ago
glasgow |
Reading these posts is fucking nuts , half you folk are moaning your no messaging folk but your all seem really nice , it a shame , maybes you would all get on . A message anyone a like look off , tbh most never get back all you can do is try , don’t deny yourselves a chance , one point a got though a understand people not replying if no interest, especially women because they get so many messages, but it’s the people that send you a few messages then ghost you , if my chats shite or am boring just say a think the ignore you after a few conversations is pish but maybe it just me lol, ad never lash out , lol even just a fuck of no more messages would be better than the ghosting lol |
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By *sWyldWoman 9 weeks ago
Edinburgh |
All the time and then even if they approach me I'll be put off if someone they've met previously is super hot. My brain instantly tells me I can't compete or would be a disappointment.
I also know that what I portray in my pictures is different from the "normal" day to day me who will show up for coffee.
I think that's why I've always favoured meeting people via the forums more than just randomly. |
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"All the time and then even if they approach me I'll be put off if someone they've met previously is super hot. My brain instantly tells me I can't compete or would be a disappointment.
I also know that what I portray in my pictures is different from the "normal" day to day me who will show up for coffee.
I think that's why I've always favoured meeting people via the forums more than just randomly. "
Jeans and tee shirt, a smile and some good chat. I'd be impressed  |
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I do this all the time mainly because I'm a larger lady. But then I see women who are bigger than me and not giving a damn. It's all down to individual confidence. Having said that I'm very confident once I feel comfortable with someone |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
Everyone of us does or does not do it due to confidence or lack off, shy, forward, respect etc...
|Even reading profiles, I read every profile I look at and if they are not looking for what I I'm looking for then I wouldn't message.
For anyone lacking confidence or don't think they are good enough, we are all good enough so contact them, the worst they can say is no or ignore your message. You just might be that perfect connection and you don't realize.
I do not think I'm out of anyone's league, I am out of many age range's so those I do not contact. In saying that, sometimes I message due to a profile comment or statues, either funny or I have a question about it and conversations sometimes do start up and continue |
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"All the time and then even if they approach me I'll be put off if someone they've met previously is super hot. My brain instantly tells me I can't compete or would be a disappointment.
I also know that what I portray in my pictures is different from the "normal" day to day me who will show up for coffee.
I think that's why I've always favoured meeting people via the forums more than just randomly. "
This is very similar to what I do. Sometimes it wins and Sometimes I win. Constant battle |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
No, we're not overly confident approaching people, even in clubs. There's probably many who feel that way. X |
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Don't really message much on here these days but I genuinely don't feel there's many out there that's out of my league maybe the odd one or so but I don't see it.... and as most pics here are body parts it'd be very hard to determine what league they're in |
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By *opeyXWoman 9 weeks ago
somewhere |
"100% I always wonder 'why did they wink/msg me?' - are they playing the odds, contact everyone and someone is bound to reply.... so either they are too hot for me or they'll dip their stick in anything "
Yup this is me too. Total overthinker. |
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I don't think anyone is out of anyone else's league, although we all normally have specific attractions as well as hang ups about ourselves.
What I've noticed reading through the forums over the years is I think people don't like rejection for whatever reason particularly when there have been so many fake profiles and catfishing.
Send the message Nyway because you never know what may happen, but keep smiling whatever the outcome. |
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I no longer give a shit, but I can handle rejection.
Whoever you think is out of your league may well be, but these are the folk who rarely get approached and sometimes they like the fact that you’re confident enough to try. |
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Tbh I (mrs) feel like my own Mr is out my league.
I wouldn't even approach in real life/chat online to people who are out of my league, which at times can be a whole club.
If the female and or male have a gym body then I wouldn't even bother as I think they would find me as a bigger girl repulsive
Luckily Mr is the more confident one out of the two of us so we still have some awesome meets thanks to his hard work  |
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Recently I've been looking for a lovely lady for girl dates. I'll send winks but the problem then is whether they check their winks or maybe I'm just not their cup of tea.
I not subconsciously worrying that the other person is too good for me. |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat?
No, we're not overly confident approaching people, even in clubs. There's probably many who feel that way. X"
I don't feel confident at clubs now and no one approaches me so I've begun viewing them as purely watching opportunities |
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By *exxerMan 9 weeks ago
Livingston |
I absolutely do this all time. I also send winks when I should perhaps be a bit braver and try a message because it’s hard enough trying to get noticed on here. I don’t take being ignored or rejected personally though. We all have our likes and different tastes. |
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Full agree with above I'm definitely half glass empty person and feel I'm not good enough to contact profiles I like as know rejection round the corner
I do think I'm a respectful guy and non pushy. |
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Ah you just never know till you try right. I feel my fab tastes and my outside tastes are very different and there have been people I have met in clubs that I maybe wouldn’t be too sure about if they had messaged me but once I have met them it turns out to be a lot of fun. |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat?
No, we're not overly confident approaching people, even in clubs. There's probably many who feel that way. X
I don't feel confident at clubs now and no one approaches me so I've begun viewing them as purely watching opportunities"
And there's the problem. If I saw you at a club I wouldn't approach you as I'd think you were out of my league |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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"I always do this too and I always feel like I talk myself down as if I am trying to prevent disappointment prior to sending a face pic because of my insecurities. Doesn’t matter what anyone says about you, if it’s not what you feel inside, you don’t believe them. "
I'm way out of your league and you messaged me. |
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By *hyme2020Woman 9 weeks ago
Glasgow Scotland |
"I always do this too and I always feel like I talk myself down as if I am trying to prevent disappointment prior to sending a face pic because of my insecurities. Doesn’t matter what anyone says about you, if it’s not what you feel inside, you don’t believe them.
I'm way out of your league and you messaged me."
Haha see you!!  My knee is warming up!!
I think you messaged me first and me and you are besties forever remember that  |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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I don’t need to think it, evidence is so….very rarely do I get even a wink, let along a full blown reply and have never had a single initiated message, so I clearly have a face for radio… |
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Thankfully, I just don’t care about the concept of being ‘out of someone’s league’. Not because I’m delusional enough to think that I’m some kind of Adonis (more like Bhudda!), but because no-one is harmed if I respectfully approach someone; if the answer is no, then nothing has been lost, and there’s always the small chance it could lead somewhere. |
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By *yzykMan 9 weeks ago
Stirlingshire |
I'm no male model but I'm not Luiz Guzman either and there's lots of profiles I see and think 'Out of my league, don't bother' - but dozens of messages sent without reply, zero winks, zero fabs and minimal views makes me think I'm out of lots of leagues, probably different sports but hey how, that's just how it is |
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By *ay BCouple 9 weeks ago
Glasgow |
We definitely did do this when we started but, as said previously, what have you got to lose?
If they don’t like you, it’s all good- move on and find another profile you like.
“Dating” as a couple means you will get rejected, you will have to reject people and of course, you will have awesome sex. Got to take the good with the bad.
It’s character building if nothing else.. |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat?
No, we're not overly confident approaching people, even in clubs. There's probably many who feel that way. X
I don't feel confident at clubs now and no one approaches me so I've begun viewing them as purely watching opportunities
And there's the problem. If I saw you at a club I wouldn't approach you as I'd think you were out of my league "
The photos are just good angles, I'm fat |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat?
No, we're not overly confident approaching people, even in clubs. There's probably many who feel that way. X
I don't feel confident at clubs now and no one approaches me so I've begun viewing them as purely watching opportunities
And there's the problem. If I saw you at a club I wouldn't approach you as I'd think you were out of my league
The photos are just good angles, I'm fat "
And I'm no spring chicken but there's more to attraction than that |
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No one is out of anyone’s league. Attraction isn’t just about looks, it’s about personality, chemistry, charisma.
Take that leap of faith and send that message or respond to that message! 10 months ago a guy started chatting to me after meeting briefly at coffee. He asked me out for lunch and we’ve been seeing each other since then.
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Nobody is out of anybodies league.
Yes sometimes you will get ignored, sometimes you will be rejected but F it. Some people think Brad Pitt is hot and some think he is ugly.
Send that message and who knows what might happen x |
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By *ewels74Woman 8 weeks ago
Dundee/Angus/Blackpool |
"No one is out of anyone’s league only those who think they are !
What do you have to lose by dropping someone a message !?
If it’s a no it’s a no just move on to the next profile .
Be confident and you never know the fun you could have "
I agree with this, and in a way no one is better than anyone else either - but in a way we all seem to put people on a pedestal and think they are out of reach. Prob one of the reasons i stay in my hidey hole at times haha i take in all that i see what folk say in forums - and then i only notice this post like a week later |
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"Am a guy think all woman on hear think they are out of my league .. lol u want to see some of them as well .. some men will go with anyone on hear .. sorry of this sounds cruel "
Says the guy with the knob shot. Wouldn't say you're showing off your best feature either |
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"Am a guy think all woman on hear think they are out of my league .. lol u want to see some of them as well .. some men will go with anyone on hear .. sorry of this sounds cruel
Says the guy with the knob shot. Wouldn't say you're showing off your best feature either "
Ouch. |
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"I think that girls are mainly the ones with self esteem issues, but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder."
Disagree, think it same for both. Women are maybe just more open with it if they feeling that way. |
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By *ookie69Man 8 weeks ago
Whistle Dixie |
"I think that girls are mainly the ones with self esteem issues, but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Disagree, think it same for both. Women are maybe just more open with it if they feeling that way. "
This |
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Usually yes, but the profile should give an idea if interests and personality traits etc, so if I feel we'd match in that sense I'll go for it. Surprising how many folk don't simply go on looks alone (or at least what society tells us is attractive)
I've punched above my weight a few times, so to speak, so it can't all be about looks. |
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Nope never. No such thing as leagues. I would rather have a less attractive lady with wrinkles, crinkles, flaws and faults full of banter and sarcasm than a stunner without. Actually, I would probably prefer the former even if the stunner had bants. |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat?
Nope, I know I'm a match for anyone in being enjoyable company, social or sexual but they don't know me or you and you have to connect quick or make an interest because if not there is a huge amount who think the next profile is better than the last
Preference is preference, we all have our interests people wise"
lol...never a truer word said...
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I lost my confidence when my ex cheated on me and felt like I wasn't good enough for any one else it's such a shit feeling but I'm finally getting back to my old self I always feel out of some ones league when I message but you have to take the leap if they have no interest no harm done |
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I find in life that we all are looking for someone to be with. Even if they arexout your league have a go as you never know what has happened in their life's and that they might just be looking for someone to show them they are attractive and desired. |
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"I do it too... go on check the profile.. think about reaching out the nope lol"
Like pretty much everyone. You just sometimes find that people you’d normally take a miss on are actually happy to talk |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
I'm exactly the same, done it all my life. |
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"Curious as to how many others do the same as me and simply "skip" people they believe to be "out of your league"
There are an abundance of gorgeous females and couples on the site (guys too) of which I have clicked on and then just exited because I didnt think there would be a chance.
Am I alone on this boat? "
I am totally the same. When I see profiles of women and couples I think are well out my league, I like their photos and move on |
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"We tend to think people might be out of our league or we’re too old for them. We find ourselves looking at some hot profiles but not contacting them. "
You are both fit and sexy just message away. You both look amazing |
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"I suppose I do this as I don't message anyone "
Think you should as pics are amazing
I feel the same, work up the courage then go back for another look and think there’s no point as they will have better offers |
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That's sad really
We usually look at people of similar size as us
Probably for that reason
But we all have a type
I thought men would be attracted to slim , pretty , perfect body
And females the same
But it's not the case |
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I ( Helen ) am always paranoid of messaging profiles I like because they are out of my league. Even when meeting I’m always thinking what if they don’t like me. That’s probably why I always prefer repeat meets as on the 2nd meet I know they’ve obviously enjoyed enough to return so I can let myself go a bit more to relax and it’s probably more enjoyable for all involved. We have been interested in finding couple fab friends but I’m always to nervous |
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"I ( Helen ) am always paranoid of messaging profiles I like because they are out of my league. Even when meeting I’m always thinking what if they don’t like me. That’s probably why I always prefer repeat meets as on the 2nd meet I know they’ve obviously enjoyed enough to return so I can let myself go a bit more to relax and it’s probably more enjoyable for all involved. We have been interested in finding couple fab friends but I’m always to nervous "
You look incredible in your pics, Hels. I think you could definitely have more confidence in yourself. |
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I feel like everyone's out my league,I'm nervous to approach as I don't want to be labelled a lech,I also don't really see myself as attractive to anyone,I can talk n laugh til the cows come home,I'm not sexually nervous but I definitely think I'm not good enough most times ,,,,the fear I think they call it  |
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I think attraction is attraction, everyone is different .how. boring would it be if we all thought the same ,I don't believe in leagues when it comes to attraction . Insecurity at its best or vainty at its worst . |
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