FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do you choose?
How do you choose?
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I'm relatively new here. I was introduced to fab by someone I met on a dating site. He is the only meet that I've had and the one who verified me.
I'm feeling out of my depth. Swamped with messages from single fellas, no messages from bi fems and a few from couples.
I have arranged a couple a meets with couples that never happened. A few guys that have messaged me seem promising but I'm nervous about actually meeting them.
My questions are:
How do you choose who to meet? Personality is important to me. I want to like the person I'm fucking even if it is nsa or maybe even one meet.
How do you avoid fakes and timewasters?
How can I attract females, and more genuine couples who won't pull out?
Thanks for any responses. They will be much appreciated.
L x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're at the beginning of this like you but...judging from what I've read here...there is no secret...I've had a couple who's profile said they weren't timewasters waste my time and I've had another who claimed to be lovely people threaten me...so I can't see any pattern yet. I'd say the only thing to do is meet meet meet meet...just like dating...get ready to meet some unsuitable candidates...but don't do anything with anyone unless you feel right about it 
Oh and good luck  Be patient and positive and I'm sure the universe will provide...oh and keep dancing |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Arrange social meets so you can get a feel for the type of person they are before committing yourself to sexual shenanigans. This is good for couples as well as single men and women, as you can get the vibe from that. And if they are timewasters then you haven't lost much time and effort, which might be the case for an evening meet with all the bells and whistles expected.
And remember its supposed to be fun. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, cha and get to know people, get to a social or two, and get known to people. |
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"Have you considered trying clubs ?"
I would agree on the clubs, you get the chance to talk to loads of people and get to know them in a friendly environment. If you go to a club with couples only nights, then you will only have couples and single ladies.
Alternatively, you could contact people who's profiles you like, rather than waiting for them to find you. |
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Thanks for the fast replies!
I feel too shy to go to a club on my own, and don't know the protocol for joining one.
What is a play phone? Also being shy, I'm rubbish at talking over the phone and can't do phone sex.
I sound like a hopeless case! lol |
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If nobody types fastest...
A play phone is a cheap mobile you only use for potential meets.
If you are unsure about clubs have a look at the club listings on here. See which take your fancy and get in their chat room if they have one. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
A play phone is a pay as you go separate from your usual one so you have more control over your accessibility. I can recommend doing the messaging and filters or narrow parameters as to what you're looking for help. Site friends also help and the forums are also useful in their own way; somebody's probably already asked a question you want the answer to on there. Be patient but be proactive. |
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By *r.ringMan
over a year ago
totton |
A play phone is a phone you only use for "fun" to chat to people on when looking for a meet or arranging a meet. Normally pay as you go so of you want change your number for any reason you just get a new sim. It will meen that until you are happy with someone you can keep them at arms length and they don't have any of you Personel info. |
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Hate posting this as a traitor to the single male cause. Go to club night for couples and single females only first. That way you won't have a trail of men following you and being more relaxed it will be fun to socialise and .......... |
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Clubs are a good way to dip your toe in, but if you are looking for a way of meeting where there is zero pressure to play, I would suggest socials.
Whilst its true that you may feel a little nervous about going on your own, you could always chat on here with others who are going and meet up with a handful in pub first for a little drink to steady the nerves before heading to the social proper.  |
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All good advice, but nobody seems to have mentioned that (shy or not) as a bi - female you are that special breed near extinct example of what everybody on here is looking for.
You will be very welcome everywhere.
Single guy's will want to play (anything with a pulse) couples will want you so you can have ffm fun ladies will want you for one on one as well.
So you will be in demand and as such YOU will be able to pick and choose who you meet and who you don't.
So take your time, don't worry about being shy you control the speed of anything that might happen. And enjoy yourself, that is why your on here isn't it?
Ps
If you want an escort to abfabs. ....
Lol |
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Having looked in the Clubs section on Fab, I can see that my nearest club is The Office in Bristol.
Looked at the website and it seems to be mostly geared up for couples, not singles. Membership for a single is £50pa. There doesn't seem to be a lot of information for singles wanting to visit. I wouldn't want to pay an annual fee just to get in when I don't know if I would want to be a regular. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I personally would not attend a club on my own, I would find it much too overwhelming.
Just take your time to chat and build up a rapport over email before moving on to a social meet. Genuine people will be happy to do this. Don't feel bad about letting down people who don't play by your rules, as a single female on here you have much more control.
Also make use of deleting and blocking. Don't feel like you have to reply to every message you receive and if anyone abuses you as a result that's their problem and not yours. They will have to get over it.
Above all HAVE FUN!!
Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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btw a lot of women and couples on here filter out single males so they can concentrate on females or other couples. They can then go off hunting for particular men they like the sound of. Once you contact them, even though you've filtered them out, they can still reply. So maybe that'll help you. |
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"I'm relatively new here. I was introduced to fab by someone I met on a dating site. He is the only meet that I've had and the one who verified me.
I'm feeling out of my depth. Swamped with messages from single fellas, no messages from bi fems and a few from couples.
I have arranged a couple a meets with couples that never happened. A few guys that have messaged me seem promising but I'm nervous about actually meeting them.
My questions are:
How do you choose who to meet? Personality is important to me. I want to like the person I'm fucking even if it is nsa or maybe even one meet.
How do you avoid fakes and timewasters?
How can I attract females, and more genuine couples who won't pull out?
Thanks for any responses. They will be much appreciated.
L x"
Hi.
I would advise that all your first meets are social only, people will disagree with that but if you're nervous it gives you a chance to get relaxed with someone and see if there's that all important click there.
Stop all single males from messaging you for a bit by filtering them out and have a look around and contact any that you like the look of...trust me they won't mind
Attend socials if you can.
I don't know how to advise you to attract females but you could try messaging some.
You need to make sure that the couples really are couples and not just a guy at his keyboard with an imaginary wife who spends a lot of time in the shower and that is something you learn as time goes on but asking to speak to the lady on the phone helps.
Good luck |
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We would say definitely get a play phone, particularly as a single woman.
The club idea is a very good one. Trying to find one you like with a chatroom is also a good idea.
We're almost certain there will be plenty of couples that would be prepared to escort you to the club with no expectations to play and on a couples and single girls only night for a first time out is definitely best as well.
We struggled a little at first with nerves but if you bite the bullet they shouldn't last long.
You really can have a fantastic time doing this and make some great friends. But it is much, much easier in the real world rather than dreamland... Sorry ment the Internet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We echo those that advise attending a club..
At the very least you will get to discuss everything and get good answers...and advise...
Most importantly, you will no doubt have a great experience and make some good friends.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brilliant advice from everyone already. Srparate play phone, social meet first (coffee in a public place), chat to the female on the phone before any talk of a meet. Just chat, not sex chat. It's just so you know she's real and so you can see if you get on.
Delete men from your 'looking for' and that will cut your mail right down and give you a breather.
Always always trust your instincts. If you feel at all uncomfortable, don't meet them. x
And have fun. |
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Because. My wife had an op 20 years ago. They put staples through her viginer there is no penatration. Possible now. So she said I could find a ladie friend and her or the kids not to find out as we are Christians to find local. It had to be some where Christian's should never ventured Yes I am trying to pull you being over your age group. I am not time waster. In fact I am runing party in. Norwich with many cuming from different parts of uk there will be bi femails. Whorls like two ladies to play give ulus a show. We can in joy. Party 24 th aug in Norwich all welcome. |
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Because. My wife had an op 20 years ago. They put staples through her viginer there is no penatration. Possible now. So she said I could find a ladie friend and her or the kids not to find out as we are Christians to find local. It had to be some where Christian's should never ventured Yes I am trying to pull you being over your age group. I am not time waster. In fact I am runing party in. Norwich with many cuming from different parts of uk there will be bi femails. Whorls like two ladies to play give ulus a show. We can in joy. Party 24 th aug in Norwich all welcome. |
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" Because. My wife had an op 20 years ago. They put staples through her viginer there is no penatration. Possible now. So she said I could find a ladie friend and her or the kids not to find out as we are Christians to find local. It had to be some where Christian's should never ventured Yes I am trying to pull you being over your age group. I am not time waster. In fact I am runing party in. Norwich with many cuming from different parts of uk there will be bi femails. Whorls like two ladies to play give ulus a show. We can in joy. Party 24 th aug in Norwich all welcome. "
How not to impress anyone.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im never realy sure if i want to meet someone, i usualy meet the ones who i noticed look at my profile and pictures a lot because it usualy means they are keen and the ones who send me more and longer friendly type messages, thats unless they arent my type, also speak to them on the phone, if they are too quiet then they are more likely to be timewasters, also only meet people who have recent verifications and are paying members. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first joined I was a little wide eyed and overwhelmed myself. Veris is a good place to start. That way you can see a little into the kind of person they are. If they don't have any on display, ask to see some. I would recommend a social meet first. That way there is no pressure to play. Plus its in a safe environment of your choosing. Good luck sweetie, im sure you'll be fine once you've settled in a bit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally would not attend a club on my own, I would find it much too overwhelming.
Just take your time to chat and build up a rapport over email before moving on to a social meet. Genuine people will be happy to do this. Don't feel bad about letting down people who don't play by your rules, as a single female on here you have much more control.
Also make use of deleting and blocking. Don't feel like you have to reply to every message you receive and if anyone abuses you as a result that's their problem and not yours. They will have to get over it.
Above all HAVE FUN!!
Good luck x"
Apologies for off topic, but where did you get the latex dress from? Love love love it but can't message you 
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definitely good advice
"Arrange social meets so you can get a feel for the type of person they are before committing yourself to sexual shenanigans. This is good for couples as well as single men and women, as you can get the vibe from that. And if they are timewasters then you haven't lost much time and effort, which might be the case for an evening meet with all the bells and whistles expected.
And remember its supposed to be fun. Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, cha and get to know people, get to a social or two, and get known to people. "
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