FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Bad Experiences.
Bad Experiences.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Every so often I see in the forums a lady saying she has had a "bad experience" with a guy.
What sort of things happen to be a "Bad experience"? Do they suffer some physical or mental abuse? Is it cyber slagging or perhaps harassing? If it is really bad would they consider calling in the police?
[Disclaimer: The OP does not support or condone any behaviour that has in the past, is currently or could in the future tend to cause distress to any other person (male or female).
This question is written to seek information on what sort of things cause the "bad experiences" mentioned so that those that do so unknowingly can avoid causing upset and others can offer helpful suggestions to those that are currently suffering.] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A bad experience for me involved a couple when I was single fem on here. Spoke for ages spoke about guidelines etc...they were verif had been on the scene for a while and local. Going there for f on f play and the man was to just watch or play with own Gf. Got there and as soon as play started the m wouldn't leave me alone to the point where I was scared. It then occurred to me the f was either really d*unk or drugged when she went to the toilet to be sick he followed. I have never got dressed and legged it so fast. My one and only meet as a single f it put me right of.
The point of my story was that if u have set rules with someone don't break them cos it ruins for everyone.
MissD  |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
A female friend if mine a few weeks ago had a bad meet. It was a guy I was connected with too. She didnt go into too many details but was very glad when she had a good meet after that.
Bad meets can be bad for a variety of reasons and severity really x |
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the one thing that concerns me a little bit about this site is the safety of the single females. i wouldn't be happy at all knowing the Mrs was meeting alone. im sure there's some horror stories on here. but if you're sensible and know when to walk away if something doesn't seem right you should be ok |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I had one person turn up looking nothing like his profile pic. He was at least 15 years older and had dentures. It was clear on my profile that my preference was for people younger than me and I had stated quite clearly that there was no guarantee of play. We would have a chat first and take it from there. He said he was cool with that but when he turned up and I said I was not interested he turned nasty.
He was over 6ft tall (I am only 5ft4) and I did wonder if he would get physical when he stood up over me. I stood up too and very firmly told him to leave. After some hesitation he did so.
I really thought I would have to fight my way out of it - and I was bloody angry too. How dare he turn up and try and intimidate me like that? I was a bit scared later when I thought about it and what could have potentially happened but the anger was much more intense.
Blocked him as soon as he had gone. Fortunately that was the only real bad experience. I have be lucky enough to meet quite a few gems. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered"
That's just fucking abusive!  |
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By *rT30Man
over a year ago
Munster |
"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered"
Jesus love be careful with yourself. Hope your ok now. That is just fuckin wrong out of the prick. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"the one thing that concerns me a little bit about this site is the safety of the single females. i wouldn't be happy at all knowing the Mrs was meeting alone. im sure there's some horror stories on here. but if you're sensible and know when to walk away if something doesn't seem right you should be ok"
This is why I tend to meet in clubs and also make it clear if there is a problem I will kick there arses out. I hope to never be in such a bad situation tho xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered
That's just fucking abusive! "
Yes that doesn't sound right  and bloody wrong of the guy to do so... what an asshole the guys was... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered
That's just fucking abusive!
Yes that doesn't sound right and bloody wrong of the guy to do so... what an asshole the guys was... "
That is disgusting! There is NO excuse for hurting a lady. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A bad experience for me involved a couple when I was single fem on here. Spoke for ages spoke about guidelines etc...they were verif had been on the scene for a while and local. Going there for f on f play and the man was to just watch or play with own Gf. Got there and as soon as play started the m wouldn't leave me alone to the point where I was scared. It then occurred to me the f was either really d*unk or drugged when she went to the toilet to be sick he followed. I have never got dressed and legged it so fast. My one and only meet as a single f it put me right of.
The point of my story was that if u have set rules with someone don't break them cos it ruins for everyone.
MissD "
Scary tale - well done for getting out but, are they still on here? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I had one person turn up looking nothing like his profile pic. He was at least 15 years older and had dentures. It was clear on my profile that my preference was for people younger than me and I had stated quite clearly that there was no guarantee of play. We would have a chat first and take it from there. He said he was cool with that but when he turned up and I said I was not interested he turned nasty.
He was over 6ft tall (I am only 5ft4) and I did wonder if he would get physical when he stood up over me. I stood up too and very firmly told him to leave. After some hesitation he did so.
I really thought I would have to fight my way out of it - and I was bloody angry too. How dare he turn up and try and intimidate me like that? I was a bit scared later when I thought about it and what could have potentially happened but the anger was much more intense.
Blocked him as soon as he had gone. Fortunately that was the only real bad experience. I have be lucky enough to meet quite a few gems."
Did you tell any other girls that you knew in your area so they could be wary of him? That sounded quite scary. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"the one thing that concerns me a little bit about this site is the safety of the single females. i wouldn't be happy at all knowing the Mrs was meeting alone. im sure there's some horror stories on here. but if you're sensible and know when to walk away if something doesn't seem right you should be ok"
If you think about it the risks run by a single female swinger they are similar to those of an escort. Safety phone calls and emergency words seem a minimum protection.
Anyone got any good ideas on self protection that do not involve an Uzi sub-machine-gun?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A bad experience for me involved a couple when I was single fem on here. Spoke for ages spoke about guidelines etc...they were verif had been on the scene for a while and local. Going there for f on f play and the man was to just watch or play with own Gf. Got there and as soon as play started the m wouldn't leave me alone to the point where I was scared. It then occurred to me the f was either really d*unk or drugged when she went to the toilet to be sick he followed. I have never got dressed and legged it so fast. My one and only meet as a single f it put me right of.
The point of my story was that if u have set rules with someone don't break them cos it ruins for everyone.
MissD
Scary tale - well done for getting out but, are they still on here? "
No they are not...thank god.
It really shattered my confidence and i never met anyone until i met my now boyf of 2years and we decided to swing together. The worst thing is they tracked me down on my couples profile year or so after the meet and asked me to verify them. I blocked and sent a report to the site and not seen them on here since.
Now when we meet single fems i am extra aware of how scary it is for them and always insist on f to f calls and socials which has really helped in regards to all of us being on the same page and maing them feel safer about meeting couples.
MissD |
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the one thing is a lot of people demand discretion, so these nutters prey on that and know that youre not exactly going to be letting people know that some guy from the internet is going to be popping around for some casual sex.
Where in other situations if you were meeting someone you'd let a friend or relative know when and where youre meeting for safety reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The meets ive had I have always told my friend where I am going and who with. She is not on the site but I always have made sure she also knows who they are and what they look like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Now when we meet single fems i am extra aware of how scary it is for them and always insist on f to f calls and socials which has really helped in regards to all of us being on the same page and maing them feel safer about meeting couples.
MissD "
Those are good ideas. It is for fun. it should not be scare.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered
That's just fucking abusive! "
. I agree if u asked him to be gentle,,,,did he? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What I love.... he hem......are the amount of people who think that social meets equal a date.... they don't take my safety into consideration.... I'm very lucky in that at my height and build.....and years if boxing lessons courtesy of Dad.... I don't have an awful lot to worry about, but have met a few who made me think twice....one in particular who wouldn't leave after an argument about what I would do....... luckily, I was able to shout for the dog, who made him panic enough to leave |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"the one thing is a lot of people demand discretion, so these nutters prey on that and know that youre not exactly going to be letting people know that some guy from the internet is going to be popping around for some casual sex.
Where in other situations if you were meeting someone you'd let a friend or relative know when and where you're meeting for safety reasons"
I have met single ladies and did think they would have been vulnerable if I was a mad axe murderer. [Disclaimer: I am not a mad axe murderer nor do I support or condone the activities of such degenerates. Anyone who has been killed by a mad axe murderer has my deepest sympathies.]
In every area of the country there are swingers. If you know a swinging single female and you are one as well you could agree to exchange safety calls.
You don't have to be friends; just they call after about 20 mins and ask if all is ok. Is that an idea? Buddying.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the one thing is a lot of people demand discretion, so these nutters prey on that and know that youre not exactly going to be letting people know that some guy from the internet is going to be popping around for some casual sex.
Where in other situations if you were meeting someone you'd let a friend or relative know when and where you're meeting for safety reasons
I have met single ladies and did think they would have been vulnerable if I was a mad axe murderer. [Disclaimer: I am not a mad axe murderer nor do I support or condone the activities of such degenerates. Anyone who has been killed by a mad axe murderer has my deepest sympathies.]
In every area of the country there are swingers. If you know a swinging single female and you are one as well you could agree to exchange safety calls.
You don't have to be friends; just they call after about 20 mins and ask if all is ok. Is that an idea? Buddying. "
Thats a good idea. I have two friends on here who are single fems. One teamed up with a couple she felt secure with and although she did meet without them to they had been on the scene for some time and could always tell her if they had heard anything through the grapevine about that particular person. Also they knew his name profile had a picture, phone number and where they were meeting. I think as a single fem you need to be extra careful and cant afford to take a chance.
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By *utumnWoman
over a year ago
leeds |
I text a fellow fab friend the user name and where I'm meeting if a social. If I then decide to see them at their home she gets their name address and I txt her when I get there and when I leave and she does the same to me for her meets. Wouldn't stop either of us being done in by a mad axe man but at least we would be found! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I text a fellow fab friend the user name and where I'm meeting if a social. If I then decide to see them at their home she gets their name address and I txt her when I get there and when I leave and she does the same to me for her meets. Wouldn't stop either of us being done in by a mad axe man but at least we would be found!"
That sounds a good system. If they know you have told others who you are meeting then they can be recognised. You are right, it would not stop a determined person but could put pressure on an opportunist. I presume you also keep their face pic in your inbox until after the meeting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, there are some seriously messed up guys out there 
Some awfully horrid stories! Glad your all OK now.
I always tell a friend when i'm meeting someone, even when i meet my regular buds, i still let my friend know im who and where i'm meeting.. Always pays to play safe! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had loads of bad experiences with men and couples....a bad experience can e anything from a woman flipping out in a jealous rage cause i touched her mans cock...meeting a guy who isnt what he made himself out to be...
Worse by far for me was a dom guy id met a couple of times first few were ok but then i let him tie me up...he decided to use a cane and didnt stop when id asked...never again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had one person turn up looking nothing like his profile pic. He was at least 15 years older and had dentures. It was clear on my profile that my preference was for people younger than me and I had stated quite clearly that there was no guarantee of play. We would have a chat first and take it from there. He said he was cool with that but when he turned up and I said I was not interested he turned nasty.
He was over 6ft tall (I am only 5ft4) and I did wonder if he would get physical when he stood up over me. I stood up too and very firmly told him to leave. After some hesitation he did so.
I really thought I would have to fight my way out of it - and I was bloody angry too. How dare he turn up and try and intimidate me like that? I was a bit scared later when I thought about it and what could have potentially happened but the anger was much more intense.
Blocked him as soon as he had gone. Fortunately that was the only real bad experience. I have be lucky enough to meet quite a few gems."
You are very lucky as I know someone who said no but he helped himself anyway  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I could list a few but I won't... All women mostly with drink in either my home, a club I was involved with or hotels.
Police, ambulances, an over night stay in a local police station, suicide attempts, criminal damage.... Single & females from couples after Mr has spend time with another female.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a guy who I had chatted to for quite a while, met got coffee and he was gorgeous, funny and sexy. For some reason though I kept putting off meeting him for fun, not sure why, eventually though I did as I felt like I would be labelled a (dare I say it time waster) anyway we meet at a hotel and he has had a few, he was very rough, said he had no condoms and wouldn't put on any that I brought, so if course I said ok no intercourse! I start putting my clothes back together door opens and in walks another guy!! A friend of his, they thought obviously that the friend who I had never met before would join us for a mfm. It was a scary situation and made me very aware that no one knew where I was that night and I had been very foolish.
Now I always trust my intuition and tell a close friend where I'm going and who with. |
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered"
You let someone continue to abuse you?!! Sorry, I don't get that at all!
I've not had any bad play meets simply because I meet socially first and I've managed to out the pricks from there.
The only time a social meet went sour was when I broke my own rules in where and when I met. Suffice it to say I didn't make that mistake again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So what about guys ?
I believe it is not only females that are at risk here.
The way that a lot of bi guys meet is last minute, no names, minimum detail and you are either inviting them into your home or they are inviting you into theirs.
Men often think with their cock and a standing cock has scant regard for security or safety.
That will lead them to make decisions that do compromise them and I don't believe 'well they bring it on themselves' is an adequate excuses for a guy being stalked, abused or battered or raped because of bad decision making.
This can happen when meeting single men, MF couples or even badly chosen single females.
Men need to stop thinking they are invincible and are able to get themselves out of any sticky situation just because of their sex and build. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
"I met a guy who I had chatted to for quite a while, met got coffee and he was gorgeous, funny and sexy. For some reason though I kept putting off meeting him for fun, not sure why, eventually though I did as I felt like I would be labelled a (dare I say it time waster) anyway we meet at a hotel and he has had a few, he was very rough, said he had no condoms and wouldn't put on any that I brought, so if course I said ok no intercourse! I start putting my clothes back together door opens and in walks another guy!! A friend of his, they thought obviously that the friend who I had never met before would join us for a mfm. It was a scary situation and made me very aware that no one knew where I was that night and I had been very foolish.
Now I always trust my intuition and tell a close friend where I'm going and who with."
OMG. that is terrible. I hope you reported him.Scary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy who I had chatted to for quite a while, met got coffee and he was gorgeous, funny and sexy. For some reason though I kept putting off meeting him for fun, not sure why, eventually though I did as I felt like I would be labelled a (dare I say it time waster) anyway we meet at a hotel and he has had a few, he was very rough, said he had no condoms and wouldn't put on any that I brought, so if course I said ok no intercourse! I start putting my clothes back together door opens and in walks another guy!! A friend of his, they thought obviously that the friend who I had never met before would join us for a mfm. It was a scary situation and made me very aware that no one knew where I was that night and I had been very foolish.
Now I always trust my intuition and tell a close friend where I'm going and who with.
OMG. that is terrible. I hope you reported him.Scary "
I did report him and I also left the site for 18 months! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I could list a few but I won't... All women mostly with drink in either my home, a club I was involved with or hotels.
Police, ambulances, an over night stay in a local police station, suicide attempts, criminal damage.... Single & females from couples after Mr has spend time with another female.
"
Shh _iew, you promised you wouldn't say anything about our meet!!  |
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"So what about guys ?
I believe it is not only females that are at risk here.
The way that a lot of bi guys meet is last minute, no names, minimum detail and you are either inviting them into your home or they are inviting you into theirs.
Men often think with their cock and a standing cock has scant regard for security or safety.
That will lead them to make decisions that do compromise them and I don't believe 'well they bring it on themselves' is an adequate excuses for a guy being stalked, abused or battered or raped because of bad decision making.
This can happen when meeting single men, MF couples or even badly chosen single females.
Men need to stop thinking they are invincible and are able to get themselves out of any sticky situation just because of their sex and build."
I have on my profile anyone who asks to "meet now" is a nut and I'll block them because I don't play "nice" and I'd expect any man with half a brain to check me out before letting me near his gonads with a straight edge!
Also would you really allow a stranger into your home who's coming with handcuffs, gags, restraints, blindfolds etc without being as confident as you can they're not going to tie you up and raid your home!
Leaving aside my size...but some men think they are invincible! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of these posts and what happened are scary and downright dangerous.
Not wishing to offend anyone but the naiveity shown astounds me. If your child was going out you would want to know where etc yet clearly as adults some do not consider the risks.
When i meet folk i always let the lady choose the environment to meet in.
As said not meant to offend but get a grip. |
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"All this highlights how vulnerable and scary it can be for single ladies and gents and I hope people remember this when arranging meets. "
Yet there is a "meet now" members use, people meet in hotels, carparks, laybys, threads about meet and fuck no photos exchanged that get closed for being too big where people share their experiences.
Some people like the risk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heineken willy, great that you are considerate with your meets but don't forget that some people can turn very nasty very quickly out of the blue and all the safety measures in the world won't stop that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few bad meets, on one the guy actually stole my phone. I did report it to the police and yes it was embarrassing to admit how & why we met, especially when it got to court, but I still went through with it. I didn't however report the guy that followed me home after a social meet and got physical when I refused to play, I do regret that as he is more dangerous, but I just couldn't face it and it took me 18 months and a change on how I use the site to give me confidence to meet again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its not only women at risk. I have a friend who was on here and he met a couple at theirs. He ended up getting beaten up, threatened with a knife and had something sprayed in his eyes....he escaped and i dont use that word lightly and was found on the road by someone who got him to hospital and police were involved. It went to court, his picture was all over the papers he lost almost a year from work due to the trauma and the couple got community service???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think generally you're just as safe on here as you are going home with a stranger from a bar, maybe more so.
The story I heard that got me was from woman I'd met one on one and then she asked if I'd have a threesome with her and a guy she met on here.
We had the threesome and the guy was quite quiet, and a bit nervous (think he was about 24/25) and not really done that before,
Anyway, later i heard that she had met him again one on one and he had been really physical and rough with her and hurt her, was really surprised as he didn't look or seem like he was capable of that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have had stalkers, someone who started snooping on us and then told people we know, several couples who wouldn't take no for an answer (one instance the female half of which then followed D into the toilets and tried to force herself on her), couples who have behaved as though they were on a threesome,n lots oof people who looked nothing like their pictures etc etc
Some real cranks on here unfortunately and seems to be getting worse! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow, there are some seriously messed up guys out there
We have not heard from the men about bunny boilers yet! Any men stories? "
Apart from constant calls/texts Which became abusive when not responded to I've never felt 'physically' threatened - but I guess I'm confident enough in my persona and ability to look after myself should the worst happen. I now don't give out my phone number - full stop - to anyone. There are people on site I consider good friends and regular play partners. Even they don't have it.
I use a PAYG mobile for Fab and its only on when I'm meeting. I'm happy to use the site for most contact, after all it's a free form of communication, and also email/Skype.
I also let certain people know if I'm meeting new acquaintances - just a profile name and venue - and as a 'last resort' form of recording should I end up 'missing' - I email myself details of meets and delete after the event!
Guys are at risk as much as women. Especially if they think with their dicks and turn up to last minute meets in strange places with those they've had little/no prior contact with.
Hence those with their heads screwed on reduce the risk by a sensible approach and will get to know (as much as possible) the other parties involved - often putting great emphasis on verifications. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered
You let someone continue to abuse you?!! Sorry, I don't get that at all!
I've not had any bad play meets simply because I meet socially first and I've managed to out the pricks from there.
The only time a social meet went sour was when I broke my own rules in where and when I met. Suffice it to say I didn't make that mistake again! "
i agree with what you say that she shouldnt of let him carry on being too rough. only sometimes you get nervous, you sort of freeze and get tongue tied.
you arent thinking straight, i know it doesnt make any sense at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow, there are some seriously messed up guys out there
We have not heard from the men about bunny boilers yet! Any men stories?
Apart from constant calls/texts Which became abusive when not responded to I've never felt 'physically' threatened - but I guess I'm confident enough in my persona and ability to look after myself should the worst happen. I now don't give out my phone number - full stop - to anyone. There are people on site I consider good friends and regular play partners. Even they don't have it.
I use a PAYG mobile for Fab and its only on when I'm meeting. I'm happy to use the site for most contact, after all it's a free form of communication, and also email/Skype.
I also let certain people know if I'm meeting new acquaintances - just a profile name and venue - and as a 'last resort' form of recording should I end up 'missing' - I email myself details of meets and delete after the event!
Guys are at risk as much as women. Especially if they think with their dicks and turn up to last minute meets in strange places with those they've had little/no prior contact with.
Hence those with their heads screwed on reduce the risk by a sensible approach and will get to know (as much as possible) the other parties involved - often putting great emphasis on verifications. "
You only tend to learn through experience, we used to do things when we first started that we definitely don't do now.
Protecting our privacy has become very important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow, there are some seriously messed up guys out there
We have not heard from the men about bunny boilers yet! Any men stories?
Apart from constant calls/texts Which became abusive when not responded to I've never felt 'physically' threatened - but I guess I'm confident enough in my persona and ability to look after myself should the worst happen. I now don't give out my phone number - full stop - to anyone. There are people on site I consider good friends and regular play partners. Even they don't have it.
I use a PAYG mobile for Fab and its only on when I'm meeting. I'm happy to use the site for most contact, after all it's a free form of communication, and also email/Skype.
I also let certain people know if I'm meeting new acquaintances - just a profile name and venue - and as a 'last resort' form of recording should I end up 'missing' - I email myself details of meets and delete after the event!
Guys are at risk as much as women. Especially if they think with their dicks and turn up to last minute meets in strange places with those they've had little/no prior contact with.
Hence those with their heads screwed on reduce the risk by a sensible approach and will get to know (as much as possible) the other parties involved - often putting great emphasis on verifications. "
As you rightly say Obi, there are two sides to this little coin. Maybe I'm gettin' too old, but it astonishes me sometimes how many people shut their common sense in a drawer when it comes to meeting someone ultimately for sex. Both men and women on here post regularly saying' this meet went badly', 'he/she got abusive', 'he/she broke the boundaries' etc. In the overwhelming majority, when you get to the heart of what set the chain of events in motion which led to the meet going bad, you can usually find something which points to the one who feels used/abused/offended having made a mistake - and admitting that (even to yourself) is often not an easy thing to do.. |
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"It might be a good suggestion for fems, who decide to 'play' with other people for the first time, to arrange to meet at a club.
Some of us dislike the ideas of clubs: full stop!"
I'm the same. I was lucky with my first meet as I took him to a friends private party so there were lots of other people around. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Wow, there are some seriously messed up guys out there
We have not heard from the men about bunny boilers yet! Any men stories?
Apart from constant calls/texts Which became abusive when not responded to I've never felt 'physically' threatened - but I guess I'm confident enough in my persona and ability to look after myself should the worst happen. I now don't give out my phone number - full stop - to anyone. There are people on site I consider good friends and regular play partners. Even they don't have it.
I use a PAYG mobile for Fab and its only on when I'm meeting. I'm happy to use the site for most contact, after all it's a free form of communication, and also email/Skype.
I also let certain people know if I'm meeting new acquaintances - just a profile name and venue - and as a 'last resort' form of recording should I end up 'missing' - I email myself details of meets and delete after the event!
Guys are at risk as much as women. Especially if they think with their dicks and turn up to last minute meets in strange places with those they've had little/no prior contact with.
Hence those with their heads screwed on reduce the risk by a sensible approach and will get to know (as much as possible) the other parties involved - often putting great emphasis on verifications. "
Kik is very good way to keep in touch as you don't swop numbers just user names  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Some really interesting stuff on here and I would recommend anyone new to the swinging world to read it.
For males who cannot take no for an answer please remember the maximum penalty for rape is life imprisonment. Is it really worth that for your last ever shag?
RESPECT THE LADY! |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"
Some real cranks on here unfortunately and seems to be getting worse!"
yeah, that delete button and block button is really hard to find eh? Even the no-reply button hides under several duvets lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Some real cranks on here unfortunately and seems to be getting worse!
yeah, that delete button and block button is really hard to find eh? Even the no-reply button hides under several duvets lol "
Not really, It is actually very easy to find.
Shame there are so many single males here spoiling it for the genuine ones. |
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"
Some real cranks on here unfortunately and seems to be getting worse!
yeah, that delete button and block button is really hard to find eh? Even the no-reply button hides under several duvets lol
Not really, It is actually very easy to find.
Shame there are so many single males here spoiling it for the genuine ones."
I don't like sweeping generalisations. A few idiots amongst any group of people does not spoil the whole group.
If that were the case we would all be tarred with something!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always tell two close friends where when and who I am meeting, with a photo of them as well.
Still, this hasn't stopped me being in a a scary situation when although friends knew who I was with I felt unable to contact them to tell them as after sending them an "I'm OK" message he turned nasty (including swinging a hammer at me and trying to rape me), it was a case of just managing the situation (by pretending I wasn't scared) until I could safely get away. That was someone I met on a well-known dating site, I reported him to the site and to the police. I didn't date for four months after that and it took a year to get me inside a man's house again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always tell two close friends where when and who I am meeting, with a photo of them as well.
Still, this hasn't stopped me being in a a scary situation when although friends knew who I was with I felt unable to contact them to tell them as after sending them an "I'm OK" message he turned nasty (including swinging a hammer at me and trying to rape me), it was a case of just managing the situation (by pretending I wasn't scared) until I could safely get away. That was someone I met on a well-known dating site, I reported him to the site and to the police. I didn't date for four months after that and it took a year to get me inside a man's house again."
That is a horrendous story. Even as a bloke I would always meet someone for a social first, at least you can suss someone out without being pressured to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to add I do vet people very thoroughly but this guy turned out to be a sociopath who could change personalities at the drop of a hat. He was charming, charismatic and knew how to manipulate women. Very scary man. There are things I have learnt from the situation though, red flags that I should have picked up but chose to ignore as he was so damn sexy. Won't be making the same mistake again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered"
Same thing happened to me... he was a nice guy, we started kissing and then he started biting my lip etc... even after saying ow ow ow... thats too hard etc he only stopped a bit, we then carried on and to be fair the rest was gentle, but when we ended up doggy he gripped my hips and thighs so hard... he didnt last long thank god lol... i left very quickly and had bruises on my thighs etc... and very sore lips.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just to add I do vet people very thoroughly but this guy turned out to be a sociopath who could change personalities at the drop of a hat. He was charming, charismatic and knew how to manipulate women. Very scary man. There are things I have learnt from the situation though, red flags that I should have picked up but chose to ignore as he was so damn sexy. Won't be making the same mistake again."
Good for you but scary to think he's still out there somewhere. I don't think I'd still be playing if that happened to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have only had one bad meet on here though, compared to all the wierdos I have come into contact with on the online dating sites. My other meets I couldn't have wished for better, lovely kind respectful men, thank you xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have reported a guy thats been on here numerous times for threatening and stalky behaviour.a single guy.when he kept rejoining we would have to block him again even though he used the same user name and pics.he would send about ten messages on here in a row on the same day.text about ten messages on our sing phone without reply in a row and then try and call constantly .we never met him cos he scared me .he then became friendly with someone we had met a girl and told me another time he rejoined before we could block him again.that he knew where i lived as she told him and he would meet me one day whether i liked it or not!!! .i did not like the implications of what that meant so tod him not only was i blocking him this time i was reporting him too.he did leave but only to come back on again a few more times with the same user name.i haven't seen him for a while as i put up a status update not naming him but said if i received any more threatening texts i would bring in the police and take further action you know who you are.all quiet now .fingers crossed but there are some unhinged people on here too.swingphones are essentail if you ask me.only people we meet regular and i trust have my usual mobile number.poppyxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just to add I do vet people very thoroughly but this guy turned out to be a sociopath who could change personalities at the drop of a hat. He was charming, charismatic and knew how to manipulate women. Very scary man. There are things I have learnt from the situation though, red flags that I should have picked up but chose to ignore as he was so damn sexy. Won't be making the same mistake again.
Good for you but scary to think he's still out there somewhere. I don't think I'd still be playing if that happened to me."
I just learned from it, now I pay attention to my intuition and so far have had a wonderful time on here. There are lovely people and arseholes everywhere you go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another sobering thought is that the two most infamous swingers in this country (ever) were.... Fred and Rose West. "
Thanks for that, thats a great attitude to have. Tar and brush springs to mind. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another sobering thought is that the two most infamous swingers in this country (ever) were.... Fred and Rose West.
Thanks for that, thats a great attitude to have. Tar and brush springs to mind."
he is right though there are some rather weird people about. |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I thought having to tell a guy I met for a social meet that I wouldn't go back to his four times was bad, but compared to some of the stories on here I've been lucky.
To be honest, if people are going to meet on here then there has to be some risks taken. We can only reduce them, not get rid of them all together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another sobering thought is that the two most infamous swingers in this country (ever) were.... Fred and Rose West.
Thanks for that, thats a great attitude to have. Tar and brush springs to mind.
he is right though there are some rather weird people about."
Theres wierd and then theres muderers and paedophiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some one I know has just had a bad experience. I can honestly say I am disgusted at the way some single guy treated the lady in question. There is no need for his kind of threatening and intimidating behaviour.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am not trying to be negative but, if you keep that in the back of your mind, you are less likely to be complacent? "
That all of us swingers are the same as them? That is the kind of attitude that makes vanilla people so against swingers and everything we do. How can you believe that we are all "wierdos" when you're on this site too?!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not? why on earth do you think im saying that? Im talking about two serial killers? The point im making is that they could be the sort of nightmare scenario anyone could walk into? ie, be careful out there?? not that swingers are like them... but that people like that could be lurking in the shadows for decent people like us? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been so lucky and the few meets I've had were perfect. I do spend ages getting to know someone first and my friend gets details of location, the meets real name etc.
I did nearly have a coffee meet once with a guy who wanted to change it from a coffee meet to much much more. Gut instinct kicked in when he started to give me the creeps and told him no and blocked him x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (L) never give out my number, if we are meeting a single guy then S will text him, and same if we are meeting a couple, we ask that the only numbers swapped are between S and the male half of the couple. I know some couples insist on the women chatting on the phone etc but we really prefer not to do this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Theres no way we would go to someones home that we had never met, and certainly no way we would invite someone into our home that we didnt know,it could be a mass murderer, is it worth the risk? Meeting in a club i think is much safer. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I had one person turn up looking nothing like his profile pic. He was at least 15 years older and had dentures. It was clear on my profile that my preference was for people younger than me and I had stated quite clearly that there was no guarantee of play. We would have a chat first and take it from there. He said he was cool with that but when he turned up and I said I was not interested he turned nasty.
He was over 6ft tall (I am only 5ft4) and I did wonder if he would get physical when he stood up over me. I stood up too and very firmly told him to leave. After some hesitation he did so.
I really thought I would have to fight my way out of it - and I was bloody angry too. How dare he turn up and try and intimidate me like that? I was a bit scared later when I thought about it and what could have potentially happened but the anger was much more intense.
Blocked him as soon as he had gone. Fortunately that was the only real bad experience. I have be lucky enough to meet quite a few gems.
Did you tell any other girls that you knew in your area so they could be wary of him? That sounded quite scary. "
He wasn't local and I don't have any female friends who meet on the web. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
I met a guy for coffee and he was askibg me to turn up in high heels fishnet stockings....the works. I told him I would be wearing normal clothes as will have just done the school run. Soon put him in his place as it was just coffee meet x |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
Woah, what awful stories! Definitely getting a payg 'swinging phone' now, for starters...although both people we have met were really lovely, from what is written here it's best to take no chances it seems. |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"I had one person turn up looking nothing like his profile pic. He was at least 15 years older and had dentures. It was clear on my profile that my preference was for people younger than me and I had stated quite clearly that there was no guarantee of play. We would have a chat first and take it from there. He said he was cool with that but when he turned up and I said I was not interested he turned nasty.
He was over 6ft tall (I am only 5ft4) and I did wonder if he would get physical when he stood up over me. I stood up too and very firmly told him to leave. After some hesitation he did so.
I really thought I would have to fight my way out of it - and I was bloody angry too. How dare he turn up and try and intimidate me like that? I was a bit scared later when I thought about it and what could have potentially happened but the anger was much more intense.
Blocked him as soon as he had gone. Fortunately that was the only real bad experience. I have be lucky enough to meet quite a few gems.
You are very lucky as I know someone who said no but he helped himself anyway "
He could well have overwhelmed me but I was more than prepared to tear fucking holes in his face for the police to identify him. I think he also sensed that I was not going to be 'easy'. That's why he left. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im not? why on earth do you think im saying that? Im talking about two serial killers? The point im making is that they could be the sort of nightmare scenario anyone could walk into? ie, be careful out there?? not that swingers are like them... but that people like that could be lurking in the shadows for decent people like us?"
 |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I used to pick up guys in bars on a night out in my 30s. Usually after a few drinks. That is way more dangerous than on here. It would be possible to trace someone more easily especially if you have had phone contact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Personally, i think single women should be careful who they meet. You never know how a person really is until you meet them.
I would say, meet them in public first..lay down the rules there and then. Inform someone as to what is happening..so, if anything was to go wrong, you know help is at hand.
It all comes down to trust at the end of the day. If from the outset you cant trust them - i would say, dont go ahead with it.
Im a sensitive bod lol i prefer to treat my women like princesses. It upsets me that there are still men out there who do this - maybe i am a bit old fashioned, but i thought men were meant to look after the women and make them feel safe.
Regardless, i think you ladies should be careful. No matter how genuine a person may seem, always go for your gut instinct. No one knows the situation at hand but yourself.
Good luck, and stay safe x |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Personally, i think single women should be careful who they meet. You never know how a person really is until you meet them.
I would say, meet them in public first..lay down the rules there and then. Inform someone as to what is happening..so, if anything was to go wrong, you know help is at hand.
It all comes down to trust at the end of the day. If from the outset you cant trust them - i would say, dont go ahead with it.
Im a sensitive bod lol i prefer to treat my women like princesses. It upsets me that there are still men out there who do this - maybe i am a bit old fashioned, but i thought men were meant to look after the women and make them feel safe.
Regardless, i think you ladies should be careful. No matter how genuine a person may seem, always go for your gut instinct. No one knows the situation at hand but yourself.
Good luck, and stay safe x"
You can meet them in public. They can put on the best act there is then change when behind closed doors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had one person turn up looking nothing like his profile pic. He was at least 15 years older and had dentures. It was clear on my profile that my preference was for people younger than me and I had stated quite clearly that there was no guarantee of play. We would have a chat first and take it from there. He said he was cool with that but when he turned up and I said I was not interested he turned nasty.
He was over 6ft tall (I am only 5ft4) and I did wonder if he would get physical when he stood up over me. I stood up too and very firmly told him to leave. After some hesitation he did so.
I really thought I would have to fight my way out of it - and I was bloody angry too. How dare he turn up and try and intimidate me like that? I was a bit scared later when I thought about it and what could have potentially happened but the anger was much more intense.
Blocked him as soon as he had gone. Fortunately that was the only real bad experience. I have be lucky enough to meet quite a few gems."
you should have told him, you may be tall..but i still got you by the balls lol |
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I was on another site as i am on here i am up front with me being a bbw so on other site when i was meeting males i got chatting 2 a guy swapped pics saw me fully on cam so finally went to meet him was getting on well i popped 2 loo came back down he was on fone to a mate of his so didnt wanna interupt him so waited but while i was waiting i over heard him tell said friend that i was there n it was on for his man points to shag an oink oink (meaning fat bird) n that he was going to take pictires as proof without me knowing so far to say i ran out as fast as i could but was so upset then really mad fare to say i reported blocked him and left the site i was that upset |
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Been on here for quiet awhile met a couple with hubby at massive social got on really well with them met loads more times even stayed here one night after going club then last year just before our wedding male part of couple met for drinks n helped with last min shopping so invited him to stay we got up 2 some fun next day i found out he hadn't told his mrs where he was and lied to me about it then to top it off he stole from me my purse wedding money cards i.d the lot to top it off i called police and they made me feel like shit so fair to say im careful about
people in my house |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Maybe we should share some ideas and suggestions for keeping safe (maybe we should start a new thread)
Here are some suggestions from me ;-
Get into the habit of writing down the registration number of any vehicles your date turns up in if you can. Have a pen and paper ready or text it to a friend.
Meet under a cctv camera somewhere public.
Tuck a personal attack/rape alarm with a pull out lanyard into your trouser pocket with the lanyard dangling out.
If you go to a hotel room, make a note of the room number and where the phone to reception is.
If you think you are being followed in your car, drive onto a roundabout and go round it twice. If the car behind stays with you on the second lap, you are being followed. |
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rememer once she said no to asingle guy in a club ,hour later we went into a room locked door he come braying on door told where to gan he then kicked the door clean thru only to be dragged and thrown outside by the scruff of the neck, a cpl we had known for a few yrs jumped on the mrs in af2f meet she abruptly put him in his place, so not really many in over 12 years scene.
went to a party one night ,had a great time we left before others ,next day found out the host because the last remaining cpl didnt want to play went ape threw his big plasma at them then smashed the whole house up they are banned from every site we know , so can happen in company . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have been so fortunate that i haven't been put in a situation as bad as the stories above!
I've really only ever felt threatened once, but i demanded that he leave and he did! (lucky for me)
I have always been cautious and wary.. i make sure that i have a plan in place, no matter who i'm with, regular or not! Will even pull my reigns in tighter after reading all these horror stories |
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"Personally, i think single women should be careful who they meet. You never know how a person really is until you meet them.
I would say, meet them in public first..lay down the rules there and then. Inform someone as to what is happening..so, if anything was to go wrong, you know help is at hand.
It all comes down to trust at the end of the day. If from the outset you cant trust them - i would say, dont go ahead with it.
Im a sensitive bod lol i prefer to treat my women like princesses. It upsets me that there are still men out there who do this - maybe i am a bit old fashioned, but i thought men were meant to look after the women and make them feel safe.
Regardless, i think you ladies should be careful. No matter how genuine a person may seem, always go for your gut instinct. No one knows the situation at hand but yourself.
Good luck, and stay safe x
You can meet them in public. They can put on the best act there is then change when behind closed doors."
They (usually) can't hide their true character. One man walked in front of me, didn't hold the door open, strode to the bar and ordered his own drink. When I said he was rude he said it wasn't a date! He was genuinely surprised when I left and kept phoning me asking what he did wrong. Another hardly acknowledged me kept texting...don't think he realised when I left! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another sobering thought is that the two most infamous swingers in this country (ever) were.... Fred and Rose West. "
Quite a valid statement IMHO. Some people no matter how nice they seem or how genuine they come across, are not what they seem.
Good to be a little wary when making your mind up on potential meets!! |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Personally, i think single women should be careful who they meet. You never know how a person really is until you meet them.
I would say, meet them in public first..lay down the rules there and then. Inform someone as to what is happening..so, if anything was to go wrong, you know help is at hand.
It all comes down to trust at the end of the day. If from the outset you cant trust them - i would say, dont go ahead with it.
Im a sensitive bod lol i prefer to treat my women like princesses. It upsets me that there are still men out there who do this - maybe i am a bit old fashioned, but i thought men were meant to look after the women and make them feel safe.
Regardless, i think you ladies should be careful. No matter how genuine a person may seem, always go for your gut instinct. No one knows the situation at hand but yourself.
Good luck, and stay safe x
You can meet them in public. They can put on the best act there is then change when behind closed doors.
They (usually) can't hide their true character. One man walked in front of me, didn't hold the door open, strode to the bar and ordered his own drink. When I said he was rude he said it wasn't a date! He was genuinely surprised when I left and kept phoning me asking what he did wrong. Another hardly acknowledged me kept texting...don't think he realised when I left! "
And some can be absolute charmers. You never know. |
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A fem I had a couples profile with thought like a guy (not with her head) and was going straight round to guys houses late at night and some weren't even verified then wondered why she was scared stiff at some meets. I tried to warn and educate her but she wouldn't listen so I deleted our profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for coffee and he was askibg me to turn up in high heels fishnet stockings....the works. I told him I would be wearing normal clothes as will have just done the school run. Soon put him in his place as it was just coffee meet x"
I didn't meet someone in my lunchtime as he wanted to know what I was wearing and would I turn up without a bra, I'm sure my work colleagues would have loved that, me bouncing up and down |
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"I met a guy for coffee and he was askibg me to turn up in high heels fishnet stockings....the works. I told him I would be wearing normal clothes as will have just done the school run. Soon put him in his place as it was just coffee meet x
I didn't meet someone in my lunchtime as he wanted to know what I was wearing and would I turn up without a bra, I'm sure my work colleagues would have loved that, me bouncing up and down "
lol thats funny. some men are idiots! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I met a guy for coffee and he was askibg me to turn up in high heels fishnet stockings....the works. I told him I would be wearing normal clothes as will have just done the school run. Soon put him in his place as it was just coffee meet x
I didn't meet someone in my lunchtime as he wanted to know what I was wearing and would I turn up without a bra, I'm sure my work colleagues would have loved that, me bouncing up and down
lol thats funny. some men are idiots!"
Yep cos the problem is that made me wary of him so when he asks when are we getting together for lunch, I ignore him  |
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"I met a guy for coffee and he was askibg me to turn up in high heels fishnet stockings....the works. I told him I would be wearing normal clothes as will have just done the school run. Soon put him in his place as it was just coffee meet x
I didn't meet someone in my lunchtime as he wanted to know what I was wearing and would I turn up without a bra, I'm sure my work colleagues would have loved that, me bouncing up and down "
As soon as they ask if I'll dress to impress them communication ends! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse.. "
Top man |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse..
Top man "
I agree; especially the bit about if she says she is checking in a legit man would have no problem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If ever anyone wants help or someone to contact in an emergency always here I don't like to see anyone in trouble. I might be miles away but can be on the end of a phone or on Kik not a problem. The offer is there my phone is hardly ever switched off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse.. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (paul) met a guy once I had already said before that it had to be safe once there he refused to use a condom so I refused to play I left thst day with 2 black eyes... needles to say I met j and she stopped me meeting till now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I asked a guy to stop contacting me as he refused to meet in a public place. Immediately made my radar twitch. I then endured abuse by texts and resulting in blackmail. He was going to print off my pics and hand them out at the school gates. I was more concerned he knew where my kid went to school. I took my phone straight to the police, I'm not shy about my lifestyle choice, and they contacted him. Not that he believed they really were police. Since found out he has abused a few women, and comes back under new profile names. Dead easy to spot though as he is illiterate, and always has the same person verify him. And that puts me off meeting any meets she has had.
I always insist on a public meet first. For a coffee, or some lunch. I love going to clubs too, but I can't always get out at weekends, whereas I'm free through the day. So far, my intuition has kept me safe. God help any man that turned nasty on me. I think all the repressed memories I have from an abusive marriage would come flooding back and I would react. Years of martial arts and being a hefty chunk of lassie stands me in good favour.
Anyone that wants to come to my house without me meeting them elsewhere first gets nowhere. This is my home where my kids live for heavens sake!
And if I'm going to a meet's house, I normally have a safety contact who knows where I'm going and who with. But again, normally only after a social meet. After hearing the above stories, this will now become mandatory for all new meets. Stay safe everyone xx
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"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse.. "
Just goes to show how different we are. As I meet for coffee in a very public place during my lunch hour 100m from my office, I'd think it bad form and a deal breaker if my meet started texting. In fact I've got up and left a meet for doing just that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I (paul) met a guy once I had already said before that it had to be safe once there he refused to use a condom so I refused to play I left thst day with 2 black eyes... needles to say I met j and she stopped me meeting till now "
Oh my god that is awful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If ever anyone wants help or someone to contact in an emergency always here I don't like to see anyone in trouble. I might be miles away but can be on the end of a phone or on Kik not a problem. The offer is there my phone is hardly ever switched off "
That's great as I never think of giving out my number to anyone when I go to a meet. I do have someone who I do trust who has my personal number, the problem is that whilst they don't live far from me, they do work round the country and therefore by the time they read the text, it would be too late along with the time to get to me, so great idea thanks but only works if you are not far from them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have just put our profile on ice, not down to this thread the boring "no time" problem, but after reading this thread very tempted to leave it hidden and stick to clubs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse..
Just goes to show how different we are. As I meet for coffee in a very public place during my lunch hour 100m from my office, I'd think it bad form and a deal breaker if my meet started texting. In fact I've got up and left a meet for doing just that! "
So, if the guy had arranged a safety text when he was meeting you, you wouldn't be happy with that? How would he know you weren't a Stanley knife wielding loony? Having had to deal with one of those myself (before mobiles were so common) I am just damned glad 'we have the technology' to help keep ALL of us that bit safer.. |
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We sometimes invite single guys to.our home and would have no problem with them texting to say they were here and texting to reassure someone that they were ok. Would get a bit miffed if like one guy they took two personal phonecalls during a social (non urgent calls). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We have just put our profile on ice, not down to this thread the boring "no time" problem, but after reading this thread very tempted to leave it hidden and stick to clubs. "
That is sad guys but you do need to think about things. There are some good suggestions on her as to how to look after yourself. |
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"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse..
Just goes to show how different we are. As I meet for coffee in a very public place during my lunch hour 100m from my office, I'd think it bad form and a deal breaker if my meet started texting. In fact I've got up and left a meet for doing just that!
So, if the guy had arranged a safety text when he was meeting you, you wouldn't be happy with that? How would he know you weren't a Stanley knife wielding loony? Having had to deal with one of those myself (before mobiles were so common) I am just damned glad 'we have the technology' to help keep ALL of us that bit safer.."
If I were a knife welding looney on the rampage in Cafe Nero how is texting going to save anybody?
I don't like "white knights" either, my personal preference...I usually find them creepy and too much "in your business"...my dad's dead, don't need another.
I've met some playmates several times socially until they've felt comfortable with me. I've been asked not to use restraints the first time I've met in someone's home, 100% understand, it's all about being safe, however, if someone elses way of doing things don't gel with mine, it's not a problem I leave them to it. |
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"We sometimes invite single guys to.our home and would have no problem with them texting to say they were here and texting to reassure someone that they were ok. Would get a bit miffed if like one guy they took two personal phonecalls during a social (non urgent calls)."
That's the thing. I'd have no problem someone texting if they were coming to my home, gave my details to a trusted friend etc, but texting when sat in Cafe Nero?!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered
Jesus love be careful with yourself. Hope your ok now. That is just fuckin wrong out of the prick."
It is wrong. Name and shame the arsehole. |
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"We sometimes invite single guys to.our home and would have no problem with them texting to say they were here and texting to reassure someone that they were ok. Would get a bit miffed if like one guy they took two personal phonecalls during a social (non urgent calls).
That's the thing. I'd have no problem someone texting if they were coming to my home, gave my details to a trusted friend etc, but texting when sat in Cafe Nero?!!"
Just being in Cafe nero is enough to put me off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We sometimes invite single guys to.our home and would have no problem with them texting to say they were here and texting to reassure someone that they were ok. Would get a bit miffed if like one guy they took two personal phonecalls during a social (non urgent calls).
That's the thing. I'd have no problem someone texting if they were coming to my home, gave my details to a trusted friend etc, but texting when sat in Cafe Nero?!!
Just being in Cafe nero is enough to put me off "
It could have been tax-less Starbucks! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My bad meet started off well but he got carried away and when I asked him to be gentle he didn't, I just let him finish as and have ended up rather bruised and now taking a break from meeting, hasn't put me off but just need to get my confidence back and my pussy less battered"
I don't believe any of us should have sex because we feel obligated to avoid the social awkwardness of saying that you are not feeling the attraction- its a form of self violation and personally to fuck someone just to keep them happy is like self rape to me- and yes I am a Man. If people cant take or give the honesty then swinging is a dangerous game to play and could be damaging and leave you feeling not to good about yourself, ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.
It concerns me also the position single fems may find themselves in on a meet, so I would advise having a male friend who receives a text from you to say all is ok on the meet and knows where you are ! Pushy males, spoil this site for all us genuine -NICE GUYS Xtra |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse..
Just goes to show how different we are. As I meet for coffee in a very public place during my lunch hour 100m from my office, I'd think it bad form and a deal breaker if my meet started texting. In fact I've got up and left a meet for doing just that!
So, if the guy had arranged a safety text when he was meeting you, you wouldn't be happy with that? How would he know you weren't a Stanley knife wielding loony? Having had to deal with one of those myself (before mobiles were so common) I am just damned glad 'we have the technology' to help keep ALL of us that bit safer..
If I were a knife welding looney on the rampage in Cafe Nero how is texting going to save anybody?
I don't like "white knights" either, my personal preference...I usually find them creepy and too much "in your business"...my dad's dead, don't need another.
I've met some playmates several times socially until they've felt comfortable with me. I've been asked not to use restraints the first time I've met in someone's home, 100% understand, it's all about being safe, however, if someone elses way of doing things don't gel with mine, it's not a problem I leave them to it. "
So many guys who have asked if they can tie me up (and I have NEVER met them before) seem surprised when I say no! Wonder how they would feel if the shoe were on the other foot? |
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"We sometimes invite single guys to.our home and would have no problem with them texting to say they were here and texting to reassure someone that they were ok. Would get a bit miffed if like one guy they took two personal phonecalls during a social (non urgent calls).
That's the thing. I'd have no problem someone texting if they were coming to my home, gave my details to a trusted friend etc, but texting when sat in Cafe Nero?!!
Just being in Cafe nero is enough to put me off
It could have been tax-less Starbucks! "
It could have been any generic coffee shop where they serve bucket loads of the stuff in cramped conditions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have reported a guy thats been on here numerous times for threatening and stalky behaviour.a single guy.when he kept rejoining we would have to block him again even though he used the same user name and pics.he would send about ten messages on here in a row on the same day.text about ten messages on our sing phone without reply in a row and then try and call constantly .we never met him cos he scared me .he then became friendly with someone we had met a girl and told me another time he rejoined before we could block him again.that he knew where i lived as she told him and he would meet me one day whether i liked it or not!!! .i did not like the implications of what that meant so tod him not only was i blocking him this time i was reporting him too.he did leave but only to come back on again a few more times with the same user name.i haven't seen him for a while as i put up a status update not naming him but said if i received any more threatening texts i would bring in the police and take further action you know who you are.all quiet now .fingers crossed but there are some unhinged people on here too.swingphones are essentail if you ask me.only people we meet regular and i trust have my usual mobile number.poppyxx "
Poppy - You dont trust me then ;( Haa! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I asked a guy to stop contacting me as he refused to meet in a public place. Immediately made my radar twitch. I then endured abuse by texts and resulting in blackmail. He was going to print off my pics and hand them out at the school gates. I was more concerned he knew where my kid went to school. I took my phone straight to the police, I'm not shy about my lifestyle choice, and they contacted him. Not that he believed they really were police. Since found out he has abused a few women, and comes back under new profile names. Dead easy to spot though as he is illiterate, and always has the same person verify him. And that puts me off meeting any meets she has had.
I always insist on a public meet first. For a coffee, or some lunch. I love going to clubs too, but I can't always get out at weekends, whereas I'm free through the day. So far, my intuition has kept me safe. God help any man that turned nasty on me. I think all the repressed memories I have from an abusive marriage would come flooding back and I would react. Years of martial arts and being a hefty chunk of lassie stands me in good favour.
Anyone that wants to come to my house without me meeting them elsewhere first gets nowhere. This is my home where my kids live for heavens sake!
And if I'm going to a meet's house, I normally have a safety contact who knows where I'm going and who with. But again, normally only after a social meet. After hearing the above stories, this will now become mandatory for all new meets. Stay safe everyone xx
"
We know of someone on here who had a very similar experience. Not uncommon.
As he knew where she lives and she is married he threatened to tell her husband as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a really bad meet about two years ago. It was an ex boyfriend so I thought I knew him and was safe.
Wrong!! Time has changed him into an abusive pig that I didn't recognise. He said he was dom, I say he was an abusive asshole.
I managed to get away in the morning, bruised, bitten, hair in tatters, belly bar missing and new nipple piercing bleeding
Lesson learnt...you never really know anyone!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice would be this. Meet in a coffee shop, order yourself a coffee..tell whoever that makes it to keep it on boil when she gives it to you. If who ever your meeting is acting like a right twat....you know what to do 
Hehe x |
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"We sometimes invite single guys to.our home and would have no problem with them texting to say they were here and texting to reassure someone that they were ok. Would get a bit miffed if like one guy they took two personal phonecalls during a social (non urgent calls).
That's the thing. I'd have no problem someone texting if they were coming to my home, gave my details to a trusted friend etc, but texting when sat in Cafe Nero?!!
Just being in Cafe nero is enough to put me off "
 |
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"Some of you may know there is a lady on here who I keep a watchful eye on.
We have now got the way she goes about everything down like a military operation. First meet is coffee a minimum of five miles from where she lives, and I always send her a safety text 15 mins into that social. She makes a big thing of texting the reply in front of the guy, so if he doesn't like that, he's history right then and there.
When she is meeting the guy subsequently for a play meet, the same thing happens. She texts me exactly where she is (room number if hotel) and I have HIS mobile number too (he won't know that). She also has to text at the end of play to say she's okay, and when she's home.
I know that all sounds a bit over the top, but a woman's personal safety is paramount as far as I am concerned and, speaking as a single male, I would have NO problem if any lady I met did the same kind of checks about me. So far it's kept her safe (only one guy was a bit of an idiot and didn't have the guts to admit he was married, but we've sorted that one) and none of the guys she has met has had a problem with it - quite the opposite in fact.
We're all in this to have fun safely, not heartbreak or worse..
Just goes to show how different we are. As I meet for coffee in a very public place during my lunch hour 100m from my office, I'd think it bad form and a deal breaker if my meet started texting. In fact I've got up and left a meet for doing just that!
So, if the guy had arranged a safety text when he was meeting you, you wouldn't be happy with that? How would he know you weren't a Stanley knife wielding loony? Having had to deal with one of those myself (before mobiles were so common) I am just damned glad 'we have the technology' to help keep ALL of us that bit safer..
If I were a knife welding looney on the rampage in Cafe Nero how is texting going to save anybody?
I don't like "white knights" either, my personal preference...I usually find them creepy and too much "in your business"...my dad's dead, don't need another.
I've met some playmates several times socially until they've felt comfortable with me. I've been asked not to use restraints the first time I've met in someone's home, 100% understand, it's all about being safe, however, if someone elses way of doing things don't gel with mine, it's not a problem I leave them to it.
So many guys who have asked if they can tie me up (and I have NEVER met them before) seem surprised when I say no! Wonder how they would feel if the shoe were on the other foot?"
As I said, we all see things differently. I 100% understand someone inviting me into their home not wanting me to tie them up and we've have met socially first, yet men are surprised you say no to a total stranger! |
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Most smartphones have a 'tracker' app available that can locate your phone to within a few yards.
Maybe if you have this app enabled on a meet, and tell a trusted friend that you are meeting, along with all the other details you tell them exactly how to use the tracker app to locate you precisely.
They all have a simple to use web interface, and some will even text your map location on demand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problems I have had in the past have been couples and abuse after from the female half when jealously rears its ugly head. At one point I just deleted and took a break as it gets ugly and tiring dealing with all the lies and bitchiness. |
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