FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Time wasters!
Time wasters!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why is that with some people on here, you go through all the motions of setting up a meet only for them to cry off at the last minute?
We have had 4 people do it recently all off which gave no reason and stopped all contact.
If they were not serious about meeting, why bother? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're in a semi rural area and even here there are a lot of couples profiles which, experience tells us is probably a man. Not evidence enough to report them. We now always ask for the women to have even a quick hello by phone at an early stage so we know there's a woman at that end. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We're in a semi rural area and even here there are a lot of couples profiles which, experience tells us is probably a man. Not evidence enough to report them. We now always ask for the women to have even a quick hello by phone at an early stage so we know there's a woman at that end."
All have been photo verified, so you would think that they are genuinely women (maybe this is another thread!!). We have given out a mobile number for contact and are happy to speak to people if they can be arsed to call. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get it all the time too, think for some people the fantasy and build up is enough 
New fetish  "
Im not sure its a new fetish but i think lots of people get off on the online side of things then when it comes to reality cant follow through. I have no problem with people that want to do the online play they should just be up front and honest about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been using fab for a month now.Have had four meets & stood up four times.?! Members either no longer using site or have blocked me.? Think some people enjoy the fantasy & romance of the swing scene but in reality prehaps not  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite sad really, I have limited time and if and when I have a meet getting a message here ten mins before is annoying but at least they contact, when they don't show and/or block n delete you or remove themselves, frustrating is the polite way to put it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get it all the time too, think for some people the fantasy and build up is enough
New fetish
Im not sure its a new fetish but i think lots of people get off on the online side of things then when it comes to reality cant follow through. I have no problem with people that want to do the online play they should just be up front and honest about it."
 |
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Unfortunately there are DEFINITELY a lot more on here lately.
We arranged a meet a few weeks ago. We only really wanted about 3 guys but invited 7 (knowing and accommodating for some of them to drop out). All met, all verified and all spoken to before hand and re-confirmed on the day.
On the night we'd arranged for, not a SINGLE one turned up. No texts, no excuses, no nothing. Some disappeared from the site, some gave us lame excuses long after the meet and some we just never heard from again.
We know it's to be expected, but you'll still come up against them no matter how many precautions you take. I think it's why a lot of people prefer club meets.
- Amy. x |
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We grin and bare it now .have got use to time wasters,we mainly meet at club now at least we get to know people and have fun there,if we want more action we know if they contact us or vice versa we know we will have fun  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Unfortunately there are DEFINITELY a lot more on here lately.
We arranged a meet a few weeks ago. We only really wanted about 3 guys but invited 7 (knowing and accommodating for some of them to drop out). All met, all verified and all spoken to before hand and re-confirmed on the day.
On the night we'd arranged for, not a SINGLE one turned up. No texts, no excuses, no nothing. Some disappeared from the site, some gave us lame excuses long after the meet and some we just never heard from again.
We know it's to be expected, but you'll still come up against them no matter how many precautions you take. I think it's why a lot of people prefer club meets.
- Amy. x"
That is appalling to have that many wasters in one hit 
It may be that we will go to a club to meet people who are looking for what we are offering and take it for there. |
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Same as you arranging things around family can be difficult,as some people slagged us of for having to cancel,at last minute,that's why we started using club,at least that way we can relax and have fun and people will get to see we,are genuine,so now its club occassiinal party and if we get the chance the very occasional one off meets with guy or couples |
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Exactly, at least with clubs you can arrange it around YOU and if your meet is a no show, there are plenty of others to play with. 
None of this getting tarted up and making arrangements only to be sat at home all night feeling let down. x |
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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago
Northamptonshire |
We have had to cancel before due to illness and mother being a tad unpredictable, but this has been rare. This had happened a couple of times to us too but not often. Sometimes real life gets in the way.
As a safeguard we normally arrange meets at either Chams or Jaydees so if either party can't make it the night isn't wasted.
Dave |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Sometimes people have to cancel as real life gets in the way.
Some people like the talk but can't cross the line.
Did they let you know they were cancelling?
Did you see them on cam or speak to them on the phone to verify they were a couple? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here a year now and am yet to cancel a meet that's been arranged.....am I special??  "
ditto, but i did drive 300miles for a meet, booked a hotel and the couple in question never turned up or answered my texts or calls, thats life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have lost count how many times it has happened to me .. The best was the guy who said he would be two mins still waiting 10 mins later messaged him said ... Sorry I've bottled it but I can give you a lift home !! Like I am going to get in a car with a stranger when he can't even come in for a drink. He had even drove past me!! Been in two unsavoury situations going straight to someone's house which could if turned out nasty and I won't do it again my safety is first and foremost  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree that there are far more time wasters on this site then there used to be, however there is a case to stress the difference between a time waster and a genuine person. Some people are genuine they want to do and the idea may be far more appealing then the reality- yet less appealing then the stress and nervousness they get on the day of arranged meet.
I think its fine to cancel a meet , doesnt make you a time waster if you genuinely did intend on meeting but the nerves are getting the better of you, Incidentally I have never cancelled or let anyone down yet, but would hate to think I would be labelled a time waster simply for doing so- we all have the right to change our minds, as long as people are honest- its fine by me.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here a year now and am yet to cancel a meet that's been arranged.....am I special??
ditto, but i did drive 300 miles for a meet, booked a hotel and the couple in question never turned up or answered my texts or calls, that's life "
300 hundred miles- they would have to be SPECIAL.......and that's so rude and exactly why we have a report button - surely ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some people get a kick and thrill out of the chase , it's a shame really but some idiots will string people along until the last minute and call off , sadly this will never stop , it's the immature nature of some of these clowns sadly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been on here a year now and am yet to cancel a meet that's been arranged.....am I special??
ditto, but i did drive 300 miles for a meet, booked a hotel and the couple in question never turned up or answered my texts or calls, that's life
300 hundred miles- they would have to be SPECIAL.......and that's so rude and exactly why we have a report button - surely ?"
oh i did report |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I agree that there are far more time wasters on this site then there used to be, however there is a case to stress the difference between a time waster and a genuine person. Some people are genuine they want to do and the idea may be far more appealing then the reality- yet less appealing then the stress and nervousness they get on the day of arranged meet.
I think its fine to cancel a meet , doesnt make you a time waster if you genuinely did intend on meeting but the nerves are getting the better of you, Incidentally I have never cancelled or let anyone down yet, but would hate to think I would be labelled a time waster simply for doing so- we all have the right to change our minds, as long as people are honest- its fine by me.... "
You see this I agree with.
When we have a meet both parties have an agreement that either one of us can walk away from the meet no questions asked.
By the look of some posts on the forum ( this and other threads )we or the other party would be classed as timeasters if we did this.
I think I would rather have someone walk away than have sex when they didn't want to.
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"I agree that there are far more time wasters on this site then there used to be, however there is a case to stress the difference between a time waster and a genuine person. Some people are genuine they want to do and the idea may be far more appealing then the reality- yet less appealing then the stress and nervousness they get on the day of arranged meet.
I think its fine to cancel a meet , doesnt make you a time waster if you genuinely did intend on meeting but the nerves are getting the better of you, Incidentally I have never cancelled or let anyone down yet, but would hate to think I would be labelled a time waster simply for doing so- we all have the right to change our minds, as long as people are honest- its fine by me....
You see this I agree with.
When we have a meet both parties have an agreement that either one of us can walk away from the meet no questions asked.
By the look of some posts on the forum ( this and other threads )we or the other party would be classed as timeasters if we did this.
I think I would rather have someone walk away than have sex when they didn't want to.
"
Totally agree, we always arrange to have a drink to see how we get on - you just never know till you actually meet someone that you will fancy having fun with them - we always walk away with a nice thanks but no thanks if we don't fancy them - Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been using fab for a month now.Have had four meets & stood up four times.?! Members either no longer using site or have blocked me.? Think some people enjoy the fantasy & romance of the swing scene but in reality prehaps not "
romance? |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
I guess the difference would be a genuine issue coming up (like my lovely lady at the weekend, she called to say she was ill) and we are still in contact, and will rearrange another meet compared to someone who arranges a meet, and leaves you hanging with no reason, and doesn't contact you again.
For some people, I guess they bottle it and are afraid to say in case they get slagged off for it.
I've never arranged a meet and either not shown or not contacted with as much notice that I cannot make it (one coffee social meet I had to cancel because my car had a flat tyre) but contacted the other person and let them know - does that make me a timewaster? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had one guy let me knock at front door. He came to door only to disappear back into living room. Then said he had to go out when I messaged him.
I saw you, you fool.
Oh did you. Then he blocked me. |
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"Timewasters , fakes and dreamers ruin this site for genuine people .
No they don't - they're pretty easy to spot - we've never hsd a problem with meets not turning up, Z"
Agree! Been on and off this site for three years, only meet single men and never experienced a timewaster.
Then again I recognise people have the right to cancel and change their minds, and I don't class that timewasting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is that with some people on here, you go through all the motions of setting up a meet only for them to cry off at the last minute?
We have had 4 people do it recently all off which gave no reason and stopped all contact.
If they were not serious about meeting, why bother?"
You have only been here 3 weeks maybe you are doing something at the last min that makes them think you are not genuine. There must be something if its happened 4 times in such a short period. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IF they contact you to say not comming (no matter the reason)......Not timewaster...
If they dont and your sitting there waiting....Yes...
That's how I see it too."
I meet in town. That way if they cancel, even last minute, I go shopping, treat myself. I meet for a social coffee first too. If they dont turn up, hey, what did I lose but a few mins and a cuppa joe.
But if they do stand me up, I really dont go there again without a 22 carat explanation.
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"IF they contact you to say not comming (no matter the reason)......Not timewaster...
If they dont and your sitting there waiting....Yes..."
We got no contact back whatsoever from any of them. Follow up messages were deleted so they made to the block list.
Only one of them we initiated contact with. The other three asked us for a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Time wasters are the bain of mainly us singles in that we are ones more than likely to be let down .....and if like me your open about your sexuality - you stand even less chance lol |
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"IF they contact you to say not comming (no matter the reason)......Not timewaster...
If they dont and your sitting there waiting....Yes...
That's how I see it too.
I meet in town. That way if they cancel, even last minute, I go shopping, treat myself. I meet for a social coffee first too. If they dont turn up, hey, what did I lose but a few mins and a cuppa joe.
But if they do stand me up, I really dont go there again without a 22 carat explanation.
"
I've mentioned many times how I meet: never travel more than 100m for a meet and during my lunch hour. Meet outside M&S, Costa and Cafe Nero yards apart. Should they not show I was going for a sarnie anyway! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I just keep seeing things like this in mails or forums..
yet I'm not really experiencing it?
I must be doing things right, for myself at least
cant say much else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"IF they contact you to say not comming (no matter the reason)......Not timewaster...
If they dont and your sitting there waiting....Yes...
That's how I see it too.
I meet in town. That way if they cancel, even last minute, I go shopping, treat myself. I meet for a social coffee first too. If they dont turn up, hey, what did I lose but a few mins and a cuppa joe.
But if they do stand me up, I really dont go there again without a 22 carat explanation.
I've mentioned many times how I meet: never travel more than 100m for a meet and during my lunch hour. Meet outside M&S, Costa and Cafe Nero yards apart. Should they not show I was going for a sarnie anyway! "
It gives me the added benefit of taking me as a single female, well away from home base and into a very public place that I'm happy and familiar with. If the guy turns into Man at C&A ... all over me like a cheap suit, I can throw a wobbler in full view of anyone who likes their coffee with a hint of tax avoidance.
And I never get tempted to break my rules and play after a social that way, either 
I read another thread on bad situations earlier. Wow, just made my eyes water and reinforced how careful you have to be that first time.
Apologies for tangent xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just keep seeing things like this in mails or forums..
yet I'm not really experiencing it?
I must be doing things right, for myself at least
cant say much else "
Because your picking the right ones! I've never been let down, I sadly let someone down due to work but was forgiven and we are now great pals |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You have only been here 3 weeks maybe you are doing something at the last min that makes them think you are not genuine. There must be something if its happened 4 times in such a short period. "
We offer to cam, on here or skype, a mobile phone number and a social meet, what else would you suggest - a reference from the local vicar??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP is it cpls ur meeting also?
MF cpl..mainly will want some proper swapping,from what I have read, its going to be female to female play only?+ur own hubby?... well lots dont like that...theyll just choose others that 4way swap
F- is hubby getting involved?
who is using the site or in the communications...I'm afraid sometimes if a fem/cpl get the idea that they are just feeding the male halves communication then its a no-go
that all being said, no excuse to arrange a meet and not to cancel |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP is it cpls ur meeting also?
MF cpl..mainly will want some proper swapping,from what I have read, its going to be female to female play only?+ur own hubby?... well lots dont like that...theyll just choose others that 4way swap
F- is hubby getting involved?
who is using the site or in the communications...I'm afraid sometimes if a fem/cpl get the idea that they are just feeding the male halves communication then its a no-go
that all being said, no excuse to arrange a meet and not to cancel"
Not meeting couples just yet, I just want some 121 with other women. Hubby will just watch to start or join in if other fem agrees. We may go for full swap when we both feel comfortable with things.
Mostly me (F) doing the communication, though hubby does check the messages occasionally. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
Lots of single fems will not like that - I certainly wouldn't meet for hubby to watch. Its not a show for him, and would make me feel very uncomfortable. If i were meeting couples at the moment (I'm not) - I would expect all 3 to be fully involved.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What really pisses me off is when uve been txin and chatting to a cpl or a single for a while then u go to the trouble of getting a babysitter booking a hotel only for them to mess abt and not turn up then block u with out a reason!!! Wtf !!! Had been txin rite up to the point when we left for the hotel to meet them!!' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP is it cpls ur meeting also?
MF cpl..mainly will want some proper swapping,from what I have read, its going to be female to female play only?+ur own hubby?... well lots dont like that...theyll just choose others that 4way swap
F- is hubby getting involved?
who is using the site or in the communications...I'm afraid sometimes if a fem/cpl get the idea that they are just feeding the male halves communication then its a no-go
that all being said, no excuse to arrange a meet and not to cancel
Not meeting couples just yet, I just want some 121 with other women. Hubby will just watch to start or join in if other fem agrees. We may go for full swap when we both feel comfortable with things.
Mostly me (F) doing the communication, though hubby does check the messages occasionally."
I'll really suggest the new strategy could be solely F to F play..social meetup...then discuss, where to play and if, if indeed hubby can participate no matter how minor his role is..
really just being entirely realistic about it |
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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago
Over the rainbow, under the bridge |
I've had a lot of that. But when they go quiet a few days before the meet that is usually an indication of a pending cancellation so my rule now is, and I tell them this, that if I don't hear or have proper confirmation then I look for another meet and they miss out.
It usually works - and I usually get a meet anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We've had a few timewasters in the past so just meet at clubs or parties. Sometimes we email people to say we can meet at a club and we never hear from them again. Sometimes they're full of questions about the club, information easily found on fab, or they say they don't do clubs, only private meets, even though they don't have any verifications.
At least with a club meet there's no problem if they don't turn up. We just play with whoever is there.
The worst thing is the endless ping pong emails that some people get into. As soon as it looks like one of those we just delete their messages as there's no point in wasting too much time on them.
I'm sure some of them are potentially genuine, but actually being at a club ready to play is more so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a swinging site:-swinging and time wasters go together like bacon and eggs,if you don't want to encounter timewasters it's best you take up another hobby,we're on a couple of payfor sites and you get timewasters even on them:-they actually pay to be timewasters so what chance on a free site like this?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP is it cpls ur meeting also?
MF cpl..mainly will want some proper swapping,from what I have read, its going to be female to female play only?+ur own hubby?... well lots dont like that...theyll just choose others that 4way swap
F- is hubby getting involved?
who is using the site or in the communications...I'm afraid sometimes if a fem/cpl get the idea that they are just feeding the male halves communication then its a no-go
that all being said, no excuse to arrange a meet and not to cancel
Not meeting couples just yet, I just want some 121 with other women. Hubby will just watch to start or join in if other fem agrees. We may go for full swap when we both feel comfortable with things.
Mostly me (F) doing the communication, though hubby does check the messages occasionally.
I'll really suggest the new strategy could be solely F to F play..social meetup...then discuss, where to play and if, if indeed hubby can participate no matter how minor his role is..
really just being entirely realistic about it"
This is pretty much the path we take during the messages. We are up front about what we want from the start - no point messing about.
We have had meets on our terms and it works for those involved.
The thread was about time wasters, not want we want from others! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its a swinging site:-swinging and time wasters go together like bacon and eggs,if you don't want to encounter timewasters it's best you take up another hobby,we're on a couple of payfor sites and you get timewasters even on them:-they actually pay to be timewasters so what chance on a free site like this??"
yeahh lots are saying make this a pay site lol...look at the prices of AFF(barely used in yearsyeaaars)..timewasterfakecentral is a more apt name ffs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was stood up Sunday and Monday by guys who were ‘100% genuine‘ I just report them and move on, there's hundreds of timewasters on here but don't let it get to you x |
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It does seem pointless to chat, exchange mails then have no interest in meets!
Maybe there should just be a thread that's just for naughty talk, and let the genuine swinger(s) who are not time waster do there thing!
Think some people just like the thrill of the chase |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP is it cpls ur meeting also?
MF cpl..mainly will want some proper swapping,from what I have read, its going to be female to female play only?+ur own hubby?... well lots dont like that...theyll just choose others that 4way swap
F- is hubby getting involved?
who is using the site or in the communications...I'm afraid sometimes if a fem/cpl get the idea that they are just feeding the male halves communication then its a no-go
that all being said, no excuse to arrange a meet and not to cancel
Not meeting couples just yet, I just want some 121 with other women. Hubby will just watch to start or join in if other fem agrees. We may go for full swap when we both feel comfortable with things.
Mostly me (F) doing the communication, though hubby does check the messages occasionally.
I'll really suggest the new strategy could be solely F to F play..social meetup...then discuss, where to play and if, if indeed hubby can participate no matter how minor his role is..
really just being entirely realistic about it
This is pretty much the path we take during the messages. We are up front about what we want from the start - no point messing about.
We have had meets on our terms and it works for those involved.
The thread was about time wasters, not want we want from others!"
just giving reasons why u might be attracting time wasters...and it sounds better than me just saying "its ur selection process" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lots of guys are on here just to look at pics and get their kicks out of just arranging to meet not actually meeting,probably scared their wives will find out(or mums!) |
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