WARNING: Profile May Contain Nuts!

Man in Two Stars To The Left And Keep Going., South West, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 22 hours ago

Okay, so having been on this site for a fair while, I’ve decided it’s time for a profile re-write. Whilst I fully realise that this probably won’t endear me to many on the site, I really am getting too old to care.

As the title suggests, this profile may contain nuts, as well as a healthy dose of sarcasm and a generous dollop of whipped cream.

Now, whilst I understand that being a single gentleman on this site will in the eyes of many tar me with the same brush as many of the idiots on here, I would like to suggest that I’m not here to mess people around. I’m not here looking for a meaningful relationship. I’m here because I enjoy the swinging lifestyle. No more no less. I happen to enjoy the thrill of being allowed to share in carnal desires and pleasure with a couple. To me, to be allowed into a relationship in this way is actually quite special. Of course, a single lady is always nice too!

I do not live my life on Fab. As with many people I have a busy life holding down two jobs and also undertake some voluntary work. Therefore, time is precious and when I say I’ll meet I will meet! I do not believe in messing people around and won’t say I can meet on the off-chance I might be able to make it. Similarly, I would expect couples and ladies to be the same. Natural disasters, terrorist incidents and hedgehogs crossing the road may, however, delay me.

I do not have a face picture on public display, neither do I indulge in sending or publically displaying my manly parts on the site. All in good time! Both are available once we get to know each other a little bit. After all, I don’t wander down the High Street naked shouting “who wants a shag”, therefore, I won’t do the same on here. In addition, I happen to think that pecker pictures are a little on the vulgar side. Let’s at least chat first!

I won’t message anyone unless I fully match what they are looking for in their profile. Similarly, if I do message and receive no reply I won’t chase or get nasty or rude. Behaviour of this nature is what has got us single gents in this state in the first place. On occasion I do wink if a profile catches my eye. I treat winks the same as winking at someone in real life. A flirtatious way of letting someone know that I’m interested. I’m not being lazy, it’s just that often I haven’t got the time for a full blown message and will nearly always follow a wink with a message at a later stage. Therefore, feel free to ignore both.

I do not accommodate This is not because I have anything to hide, I just prefer it that way. Enough said.

I have a decent command of the English language! I know the difference between the meaning and spelling of words that sound the same. Where... were... we’re for example. I also know the correct use of an apostrophe. Bad grammar, spelling and text speak make me cringe and I really do feel the grammar Nazi coming out in me. Be thankful we can’t correct people’s messages in red because many would be getting a lot or red kisses. No I am not a teacher.

So with all that negativity out of the way and assuming you’re still with me, what you see is what you get with me. I like to think I’m honest, down to earth, know how to enjoy myself and love to indulge in carnal pleasures. My verifications do, I feel, speak for themselves and are not notches on the bedpost. See my interests for what naughtiness you might be able to expect with me. Basically, I’m an ordinary guy with a naughty streak a mile wide that enjoys the company of couples and ladies in a naughty and hedonistic way.

One last thing. I feel I should mention “the bi thing”. Yes, my profile says I’m straight, however, I have and do enjoy a little bi play as and when wanted or appropriate in the couples setting. I certainly don’t shy away from getting too close to a guy in the couple scenario but can and will obviously play straight when required. I don’t select bi or bi-curious as I’ve found that whilst it turns many couples off me it also seems to open me up to many distasteful messages. I’m not actively seeking another man, therefore, to all intents and purposes for this profile I’m straight.

So if you’ve got this far and feel like you’d like to message me put “Looney Tune” in the subject to show that you’ve spent the last half an hour reading through my profile.

To Sydney University and any other learning provider, FILL YOUR BOOTS!!! If you’re sad enough to try turning a swingers site into some sort or project then go for it! Please send your dissertation to me for marking.

Want to know more about me? Intrigued? Morbidly curious? Just ask!!!

P.S. My "Block" button works just as well as anyone elses.

James

55 years old, Straight

5'11" 180cm
Average
Non smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
1 or 2 piercings

Looking For

Not looking for single guys
Couples (MF) Couples (FF) Women
Aged from 18 to 65
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Cannot accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Voyeurism, Watersports, Webcams, Toys, Threesomes, Taking Photos, Swingers Clubs, Spanking, SM, Separate Room Swapping, Same Room Swapping, Safe Sex, Role Play, Rimming, Oral, Making Videos, Group Sex, Gangbangs, DP, Dogging, Cybersex, Blindfolds, Anal, Adult Parties

Verified Genuine Profile

*exatoo (47), Couple on 3 February 2017 by Meeting in person:
Met this lovely guy at Paradise Club Bournemouth. We had a lovely chat in the hot tub, then went to play with another 2 couples and other single males. He's very attentive, good with his tongue, & fingers and good in group play. Would would love to play with him again.

*limgirl (55), Woman on 3 February 2017 by Meeting in person:
Met this hot sexy man at Paradise last night, he certainly made my evening a horny pleasurable one, great body and I look forward to indulging further, great evening, made my pussy so wet...lovely xxx

*issBi (51), Woman on 26 August 2016 by Meeting in person:
We eventually sorted out a playtime after 3 years ;-) Very worth waiting for ;-) Very respectful, chilled out male here, very polite and can hold a conversation. Totally non pushy and funny as hell :-) I'm not spilling the details, other than, I'd definitely like a round 2 ;-)

*UN STR8 GUY (54), Man on 7 April 2015 by Meeting in person:
Met this chap at paradise sat nite and had a great social with him in the jacuzzi, pleasant friendly chatty and we look forward to seeing him at Paradise again when we return in the summer. xx

*odkaandTonic (62), Couple on 2 July 2014 by Meeting in person:
We met James on our sexy camping trip and he was perfect for what we wanted, he played the games we suggested and played very well when the fun started ! If your a couple looking for an extra chap to join in then you wouldn't be disappointed with James, he's polite respectful and knows how to please !!!!!