Serendipity

Man in Bolton, North West, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 8 hours ago

Who actually reads this nonsense?

Fuck it, here goes……this’ll woo you over ladies…

Middle aged, ugly, slightly grumpy, misogynistic bloke with dad bod seeks absolute stunning women who want to demean themselves by having sexual contact with me.

I’ve got a face my dog won’t lick.

Currently employed as a face model for Toby mugs.

Spend one night with me and you will know the meaning of self loathing and sexual frustration.

Meeting me is like licking a lemon.

After a night with me you’d say to yourself ‘I must have been wasted last night, WTF was that?’

My one alleged redeeming quality is that I’m funny. My Dad would take me out in public, point me out to strangers and say “is this a joke?”.

I’m that munter of a guy you see in a nightclub with a beautiful sexy woman half my age, that makes you say to your friends ‘he must be loaded to get a girl like her’. Yep that’s me… but no I’m not loaded. I lied to her.

I’m hung like a peanut and my cum is green.

Actually have 3 testicles.

I’m sexually incompetent, I’ll suck your nose and finger your belly button to try and find your clit. What is a clit?

I’m such a dick, even my own kids don’t like me.

They call me Bagpuss, I’m very much a sad saggy old cloth cat that’s coming apart at the seams.

DomDaddy

52 years old, Straight

5'10" 178cm
Average
Non smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Not looking for single guys
Couples (MF) Couples (FF) Women
Aged from 18 to 99
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Serendipity

Man in Bolton, North West, UK

Looking For

Meeting

Interests

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