WARNING: RISK OF DEATH OR SERIOUS INJURY

Man in Birmingham, West Midlands, UK

... "Penis seeks vagina for intimate friendship and good company.". Thursday

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 4 hours ago

I am a high functioning lunatic. I do completely batshit things all the time. But they are hilarious and entertaining and they don’t get in the way of me taking care of business. Spend time with me and you’ll be in a state of permanent moistness cos it’s unpredictable and dangerous and you know I may fuck you anywhere and everywhere. You’ll get home and think never again but after a few days of tedium you’ll be craving the danger dicking like a crack fiend. The best thing about being insane is I give the kind of D that’s like a Maccys shake. Fucking amazing but nearly impossible to get cos the machines broken down. Well this milkshake machine never breaks down. But it does break into a JCB off its nut and drive it into wall. Which is more activity on roadworks than the history of roadworks combined. I can accommodate and travel but it’s dependent on how fit, slutty, fun or annoying you are. If you’re 5” bang on and take it up the arse cos you love it, you won’t talk non stop, white noise inducing bollocks at me relentlessly and maybe like 2 times a month bring one of your gal pals round to give me lesbian show and then ask nicely for me to dick you both down after the showpiece anal toying, finger blasting 69 show you perform then you’re getting my attention. Don’t be fatter than would be survivable in the wild don’t have fake lips and shit run of the mill tats and don’t be yappin about being interested in things you clearly aren’t. Also don’t demand a rider for a meet. Be chill, be outgoing and spontaneous, be able to take a dicking like your Tyson’s punchbag. Be chill and ready to drop dem panties when I order it. Be up for the session. Be prepared for anything.

39 years old, Straight

6'1" 185cm
Athletic
Smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
1 or 2 piercings

Looking For

Not looking for single guys
Women
Aged from 18 to 99
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Threesomes, Taking Photos, Swingers Clubs, Spanking, Separate Room Swapping, Same Room Swapping, Safe Sex, Role Play, Rimming, Oral, Making Videos, Group Sex, Gangbangs, Blindfolds, Anal, Adult Parties

Verified Genuine Profile

Friends

Leeann (39), Woman
A (21), Woman
E (47), Woman
Raven (51), Woman
Dd (36), Woman