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Wrist Bands
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By *irtySekrets OP Couple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
Before the little virus took hold, we were regular visitors to Chams especially on a Monday evening for Bi night.
However, in the latter stages there were so many people who weren’t in the slightest bit Bi and that kind of spoilt the vibe for us as we didn’t know who was or who wasn’t.
Do you think it would be a good idea to issue Wrist Bands that denote your sexuality?
We are thinking that this would make things so much more chilled and identifying potential play mates without the awkwardness that sometimes prevails.
 xxxxxx |
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By *irtySekrets OP Couple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
"And start labeling people. Just ask it always a good point of conversation I find. "
Not labelling. More for a Group situation when things are getting horny.
Why do people always look on the negative side on these bloody forums FFS |
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Yeah I think that’s something that could work well, I’m sure another club do use this method. I think they one on each wrist (if they choose to) on left wrist is what you identify as and the right what you are looking for.
xx |
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OP, we fully agree with you. It would be great to have those wrist bands as then we can concentrate on people who identify themselves as bi.
Jaydees did have those wristband before, though a lot of people would not use them. But Devil would happily wear one.
And don't worry about people being negative on the forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like a great idea especially when things are heating up especially if it is easier to see which guys are top or bottom mmmmm"
Even if things are “heating up” you really should wait until you’re invited into any play situation.
It’s not a free for all where you can just wander in with your hard cock.
It only takes a moment to ask if your ok to join in! |
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By *irtySekrets OP Couple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
"Sounds like a great idea especially when things are heating up especially if it is easier to see which guys are top or bottom mmmmm
Even if things are “heating up” you really should wait until you’re invited into any play situation.
It’s not a free for all where you can just wander in with your hard cock.
It only takes a moment to ask if your ok to join in!"
Duh. Most experienced Swingers know this. Jeez! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course experienced swingers do know this but some people are just down right rude and totally clueless about how this situations are played out.
You see it all the time in clubs, where guys are crowding around any bit of public play with the faint hope of getting their “turn” without even bothering to engage with the lady or couple.
Such poor behavior really turned me off the whole club scene in the past, with some people really not having a respectful bone in their body just treating women as a cheap and easy commodity for them to empty their balls with. |
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By *irtySekrets OP Couple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
"Of course experienced swingers do know this but some people are just down right rude and totally clueless about how this situations are played out.
You see it all the time in clubs, where guys are crowding around any bit of public play with the faint hope of getting their “turn” without even bothering to engage with the lady or couple.
Such poor behavior really turned me off the whole club scene in the past, with some people really not having a respectful bone in their body just treating women as a cheap and easy commodity for them to empty their balls with."
Appreciate your comments but that’s a totally different topic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's a really good idea.
Some of us go to clubs purely for the social aspect. It would be great to let people know this. I'm always wary of striking up conversation incase the other person sees it as a come on. |
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I’ve been to events where this has been a thing but personally I’m not a fan. Just because we are both bi doesn’t mean we always want to play that way or have the perception that because we wear a wrist band we must be up for it, something I have experienced and it wasn’t fun.
I get some people like them but I also think that nothing beats just meeting people and chatting away and seeing if there is a spark and I think that may be lost if people only concentrate on who has what colour wrist band or hair band or any other sort of symbol. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I wouldn't wear one if they were introduced, I think it would invite unwanted attention, 'well why have you got a band on saying bi if you won't play with me?'. That sort of thing.
And yes, I've had extremely pushy women do/say this before when asked if I play with women, that's why it says straight on my profile. |
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"If it's a Bi night, why on earth are people turning up who are not ! it's stupid on their behalf, just spoils things for everyone else  "
In principle you're correct but its not that simple though is it?
For example, my wifes bi but I'm not. That may well be the case for a lot of couples where just one half is bi. Should only couples where both partners are bi be able to attend?
I dont know if we would attend a bi night (normal couple nights worked just fine for us) but I wouldnt want to see that option taken away from my wife if she wanted to go.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP we asked this very question of Chams a few years back and were told it wouldn't work, however we agree with your logic entirely.
To the gentleman asking why anyone would turn up who isn't Bi, it's cheaper on a Bi night so worth the lie... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP we asked this very question of Chams a few years back and were told it wouldn't work, however we agree with your logic entirely.
To the gentleman asking why anyone would turn up who isn't Bi, it's cheaper on a Bi night so worth the lie..."
Also, I've known clubs ask that you are only 'bi tolerant' on bi nights, rather than insisting your are actually bi. |
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I like this idea.. I certainly don't want to offend someone during the heat of the battle if the play is/was spontaneous..
From a single guys prospective, if this was implimented it makes things easier when you meet at other then bi night at clubs.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We really think it would make things more relaxed.
If we are honest, single guys who are strictly straight should not be in a club on a Bi night.
Awaits the torrent of abuse lol xxxx"
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As can be guessed from our name we run Bi parties and have considered the wrist band option. On the surface the theory is very good but in our opinion the practicalities of trying to define sexuality are much too complex to make the solution feasible. The amount and type of same sex interaction a person wants will vary from individual to individual.
If we consider men, Some guys who classify themselves as fully bi won’t kiss or accept anal while other may do one of those but not other acts. Some love spunk other are adverse to any contact with it. Those are their own boundaries but people also have preferences in what they are looking for in a prospective partner. Foreskins, beards, bald heads, beer guts are all features which can be a turn on or turn off. It is relatively easy to define red and green states but it is what comes in between that causes the problems defining. It is not a coincidence that the rainbow is chosen as the symbol of the LGBT community.
In my opinion it isn’t just the classification that an individual will place of themselves that will cause a problem in finding a solution it is the behaviour of bi and bi curious men at a mixed sex group party. Experienced Fabswingers will be aware of the high ratio of men to women on the scene so when they attend an event with ladies present they tend to gravitate towards them.
There isn’t a way of screening guys to find out the degree they may interact with other men. For our parties we put up signs saying if a man refuses an advance from another man and states the reason as because they are straight then they should be reported to management. It is the only measure we’ve come up with but know it isn’t good enough to prevent the problems identified by the op.
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"If it's a Bi night, why on earth are people turning up who are not ! it's stupid on their behalf, just spoils things for everyone else "
Now if someone asked why gay & bi people turned up to "straight" nights, they'd get into a lot of trouble, wouldn't they? |
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Miss PC and I had a conversation on this exact topic a few days ago, although we looked at it a slightly different way. Rather than wearing wrist bands to denote sexuality, why not wear them to show what you are looking for. Some nights your preference maybe for a single lady...Red wrist band, another night it maybe for another couple...Purple wrist band, another night a man....blue wrist band. If you have no preference then you don't wear one!! In our view it saves everyone a lot of time and ensures everyone's expectations are clear. The wrist band can always be a guideline and easily removed if you see someone who changes your preference...just another way to look at it. Mr PC |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it's a Bi night, why on earth are people turning up who are not ! it's stupid on their behalf, just spoils things for everyone else "
I’m a hetero woman and I’m hoping to go to male bi nights when clubs open. I’m into watching guys play and male bi nights are probably my only option |
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By *oAnCouple
over a year ago
Wandsworth |
I went to a club in another country where they had wristbands red, amber, and green.
Green was "no need to ask - gropers welcome"
Amber "ask before play"
Red "Just watching maybe play"
was successful and quite enjoyable as you could even swop wristbands. |
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"Miss PC and I had a conversation on this exact topic a few days ago, although we looked at it a slightly different way. Rather than wearing wrist bands to denote sexuality, why not wear them to show what you are looking for. Some nights your preference maybe for a single lady...Red wrist band, another night it maybe for another couple...Purple wrist band, another night a man....blue wrist band. If you have no preference then you don't wear one!! In our view it saves everyone a lot of time and ensures everyone's expectations are clear. The wrist band can always be a guideline and easily removed if you see someone who changes your preference...just another way to look at it. Mr PC"
Sounds like a very good idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Miss PC and I had a conversation on this exact topic a few days ago, although we looked at it a slightly different way. Rather than wearing wrist bands to denote sexuality, why not wear them to show what you are looking for. Some nights your preference maybe for a single lady...Red wrist band, another night it maybe for another couple...Purple wrist band, another night a man....blue wrist band. If you have no preference then you don't wear one!! In our view it saves everyone a lot of time and ensures everyone's expectations are clear. The wrist band can always be a guideline and easily removed if you see someone who changes your preference...just another way to look at it. Mr PC"
the problem with us is that we don't know what we are looking for until the night kicks on. It is like ordering your meal before you leave home
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By *irtySekrets OP Couple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
Some excellent responses to our post.
Thank you all xx
We have received some messages saying we shouldn’t touch without asking.
Absolutely right and we go by that rule.
Sometimes though, when the room is getting steamy, and it’s just one huge sexy orgy with everyone getting involved, the wrist band thing would work.
There is no easy answer and we agree the best way is to chat to people. However, in the heat of the moment this is like having sex with your socks on. Lol.
Let’s hope we can all get back to some filthy fun very soon xxxxxx |
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