FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Single guys approaching couples
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" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! " I can`t fully agree with that, as you are in a swinger club if you approach a couple even just for a chat, they will take it as a sign of interest to play, and 99.99% of times, they are right, as this is the case. But it doesn`t mean that you should not do that, and if you do it in a confident but respectful manner the response will be friendly, even if it`s a friendly no thanks. You will get rejected sometimes, it`s normal, don`t stress about that. It`s still 100 times easier to get in a conversation which can lead to some fun in a club like here on this site... I found swinger clubs the best place to approach girls, and even to "practice pick up skills", if I can put it in this not too polite way. ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! " Sadly this is where (in my experience), a fair amount of guys getting wrong. They interpret a brief chat as a sign of interest and guaranteed sex. I will chat to pretty much anyone and the social aspect of the scene is what I love, but it is so off-putting when after like 2 minutes of chatting to a guy he is then angling to find a playroom and starts all the sex talk. | |||
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! Sadly this is where (in my experience), a fair amount of guys getting wrong. They interpret a brief chat as a sign of interest and guaranteed sex. I will chat to pretty much anyone and the social aspect of the scene is what I love, but it is so off-putting when after like 2 minutes of chatting to a guy he is then angling to find a playroom and starts all the sex talk. " Totally agree | |||
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" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! I can`t fully agree with that, as you are in a swinger club if you approach a couple even just for a chat, they will take it as a sign of interest to play, and 99.99% of times, they are right, as this is the case. But it doesn`t mean that you should not do that, and if you do it in a confident but respectful manner the response will be friendly, even if it`s a friendly no thanks. You will get rejected sometimes, it`s normal, don`t stress about that. It`s still 100 times easier to get in a conversation which can lead to some fun in a club like here on this site... I found swinger clubs the best place to approach girls, and even to "practice pick up skills", if I can put it in this not too polite way. ![]() ![]() ![]() This is pretty good advice really. For us, here’s a few bullet points; Be friendly but not over friendly, reaching out and touching when we hardly know you is not going to get you places. Engage the Mr, if he’s pissed off that you’re ignoring him, you’re not going to get far. Be able to talk about something other than sex. Yes, we know all the blood is rapidly disappearing from your brain as you spotted B has pierced nipples and isn’t wearing knickers but try to be engaging. ![]() | |||
" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! I can`t fully agree with that, as you are in a swinger club if you approach a couple even just for a chat, they will take it as a sign of interest to play, and 99.99% of times, they are right, as this is the case. But it doesn`t mean that you should not do that, and if you do it in a confident but respectful manner the response will be friendly, even if it`s a friendly no thanks. You will get rejected sometimes, it`s normal, don`t stress about that. It`s still 100 times easier to get in a conversation which can lead to some fun in a club like here on this site... I found swinger clubs the best place to approach girls, and even to "practice pick up skills", if I can put it in this not too polite way. ![]() ![]() ![]() I just found the clubs to be mostly couples-oriented, with rarely any single women to meet. Opening conversations with couples is never easy, and being greeted with “We’re not interested in single guys thanks”, it does get a bit wearing. I would only look for events where single guys are actively sought in future ![]() | |||
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"Firstly the advice of go on single guy events is one to note. That way you know those who are there are either open for single guys to approach or they are a single guy. Secondly, yes engage with couples. We’re always open to chat to new people and the single guys who have approached us with a smile and something to say, are always received with a smile and friendly conversation back. If we aren’t interested, we politely make that clear but it doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the conversation. We tend to find though that conversations in the bar area may not lead directly to play straight away but once we’re involved, it’s more comfortable to invite someone to join us. Finally as some have said before. Walking around staring and thinking that just reaching out to touch without asking or even making any connection is going to work. It certainly doesn’t for us. Being polite is always the best policy. My best example, one of our first nights in a club and while engaged with a guy behind me as I sucked hubby. A guy approached but kept his distance, he caught hubby’s eye and smiled while giving a friendly nod. Hubby smiled back, he came over and said ‘wow she’s beautiful (of course flattery gets you everywhere with me lol). Would you mind if I touched her tits’. Yes it was quite direct, however he waited until there was some recognition of his presence. Then approached with a smile and easy going manner. Compliment and direct question. We both felt if we’d said no, he would have happily said ‘no problem, thanks and enjoy’ as he moved away. As it was I wanked his cock before he took me doggy as well. Lol. X" ![]() ![]() | |||
"Firstly the advice of go on single guy events is one to note. That way you know those who are there are either open for single guys to approach or they are a single guy. Secondly, yes engage with couples. We’re always open to chat to new people and the single guys who have approached us with a smile and something to say, are always received with a smile and friendly conversation back. If we aren’t interested, we politely make that clear but it doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy the conversation. We tend to find though that conversations in the bar area may not lead directly to play straight away but once we’re involved, it’s more comfortable to invite someone to join us. Finally as some have said before. Walking around staring and thinking that just reaching out to touch without asking or even making any connection is going to work. It certainly doesn’t for us. Being polite is always the best policy. My best example, one of our first nights in a club and while engaged with a guy behind me as I sucked hubby. A guy approached but kept his distance, he caught hubby’s eye and smiled while giving a friendly nod. Hubby smiled back, he came over and said ‘wow she’s beautiful (of course flattery gets you everywhere with me lol). Would you mind if I touched her tits’. Yes it was quite direct, however he waited until there was some recognition of his presence. Then approached with a smile and easy going manner. Compliment and direct question. We both felt if we’d said no, he would have happily said ‘no problem, thanks and enjoy’ as he moved away. As it was I wanked his cock before he took me doggy as well. Lol. X" Yes, that`s a very good example, similar happened to me too. When you see a couple playing in a common area that usually means they are open to be approached even while they play - but obviously do it in the right manner! Keep a respectful distance, try to catch an eye contact, a smile, and then you will feel if there is any interest. If yes, in this case you can jump the "hi, I`m XY, how is your evening?" ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
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" I mean having a drink in the bar and chatting about the world and also lifestyle isn’t an invite to play obviously!! Sadly this is where (in my experience), a fair amount of guys getting wrong. They interpret a brief chat as a sign of interest and guaranteed sex. I will chat to pretty much anyone and the social aspect of the scene is what I love, but it is so off-putting when after like 2 minutes of chatting to a guy he is then angling to find a playroom and starts all the sex talk. " Yes we would agree with this. Often we will be stood at the bar and a single guy will strike up a convo with us. For example happened last Friday. And we chatted politely, he was maybe 20-25 years older than us and totally wouldn’t be of interest to play with but we are happy to talk to anyone. But we do feel that single guys then think because we have chatted to them that we want to fuck them. Messages on fab, verifications etc where they state things like ‘we didn’t get a chance to play but hope to bump into you again’. There’s defo a mindset from many single guys in clubs that they think as you are in there then u must be down to fuck. As though standards don’t count because we are in a swingers club. I think also when a guy (not all but many) has paid a large amount of money to enter that he feels he’s somewhat entitled for some fun. Also echo previous comment, pet hate when a single guy waits for Mr to go to bathroom and pounces. Had that often also, very amateur silly move IMO just alienates immediately | |||