Whenever I go to a swingers club I feel like I'm really good at starting conversations with people but I always struggle with closing the deal!
I'm quite a humorous guy and I think that when i'm in set I'm really good at gaining trust as I'm always honest with people! But I feel kinda awkward as I can't ask the big questions that'll lead me to possibly getting the sex that i'm after!
I much prefer it when i'm asked if we want to have sex as I'm really crap at asking and scared of the rejection!
Any thoughts on this peeps?
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I think you have to accept the possibility of rejection and just try not to take it too personally. There is a reason why people are at swinging clubs and a lot of times that is to play, sometimes it's just to be social and/or watch others. Its less of a seduction and more of a do I like you and trust you.
Try a lead in asking what sort of people they like to play with, then just come out and ask if they want to play with you. |
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"Whenever I go to a swingers club I feel like I'm really good at starting conversations with people but I always struggle with closing the deal!
I'm quite a humorous guy and I think that when i'm in set I'm really good at gaining trust as I'm always honest with people! But I feel kinda awkward as I can't ask the big questions that'll lead me to possibly getting the sex that i'm after!
I much prefer it when i'm asked if we want to have sex as I'm really crap at asking and scared of the rejection!
Any thoughts on this peeps?
"
What if the other party also prefers to be asked? And scared of rejection. You both could miss out. Sometimes you've gotta dive head first. Shouldn't be scared of rejection. |
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"I think you have to accept the possibility of rejection and just try not to take it too personally. There is a reason why people are at swinging clubs and a lot of times that is to play, sometimes it's just to be social and/or watch others. Its less of a seduction and more of a do I like you and trust you.
Try a lead in asking what sort of people they like to play with, then just come out and ask if they want to play with you."
Thanks man i'll try that! |
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"Whenever I go to a swingers club I feel like I'm really good at starting conversations with people but I always struggle with closing the deal!
I'm quite a humorous guy and I think that when i'm in set I'm really good at gaining trust as I'm always honest with people! But I feel kinda awkward as I can't ask the big questions that'll lead me to possibly getting the sex that i'm after!
I much prefer it when i'm asked if we want to have sex as I'm really crap at asking and scared of the rejection!
Any thoughts on this peeps?
What if the other party also prefers to be asked? And scared of rejection. You both could miss out. Sometimes you've gotta dive head first. Shouldn't be scared of rejection."
Your right I should really push myself more! |
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"Whenever I go to a swingers club I feel like I'm really good at starting conversations with people but I always struggle with closing the deal!
I'm quite a humorous guy and I think that when i'm in set I'm really good at gaining trust as I'm always honest with people! But I feel kinda awkward as I can't ask the big questions that'll lead me to possibly getting the sex that i'm after!
I much prefer it when i'm asked if we want to have sex as I'm really crap at asking and scared of the rejection!
Any thoughts on this peeps?
What if the other party also prefers to be asked? And scared of rejection. You both could miss out. Sometimes you've gotta dive head first. Shouldn't be scared of rejection.
Your right I should really push myself more!"
What will be will be. How many other opportunities you may have missed out on. |
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"Whenever I go to a swingers club I feel like I'm really good at starting conversations with people but I always struggle with closing the deal!
I'm quite a humorous guy and I think that when i'm in set I'm really good at gaining trust as I'm always honest with people! But I feel kinda awkward as I can't ask the big questions that'll lead me to possibly getting the sex that i'm after!
I much prefer it when i'm asked if we want to have sex as I'm really crap at asking and scared of the rejection!
Any thoughts on this peeps?
"
And you think you are the only one!
Being not too pushy, and being forward enough. Is a tough line to walk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have been chatting but not sure if they're interested you could always try something like "Well thanks for chatting, it's been great but I don't want to seem like I am hogging all your time" then stand to leave and add "but if you're interested I would definitely be up for some play with you later".
You don't seem pushy here but you explicitly put it out there that you are interested in play but don't necessarily expect an answer now. If they aren't interested you can walk away without being outright rejected. Hopefully they will either be immediately open to play or find you later! |
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"If you have been chatting but not sure if they're interested you could always try something like "Well thanks for chatting, it's been great but I don't want to seem like I am hogging all your time" then stand to leave and add "but if you're interested I would definitely be up for some play with you later".
You don't seem pushy here but you explicitly put it out there that you are interested in play but don't necessarily expect an answer now. If they aren't interested you can walk away without being outright rejected. Hopefully they will either be immediately open to play or find you later!"
Great tip mate, I’ll keep this one in mind!  |
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"If you don't ask you don't get
Although it can be simply being in the right place at the right time. "
Agreed I’ve been 6 times, to various clubs, and never had as much as a peck on the cheek. I have been chastised for being a ‘wallflower’ once inside a club, and my lack of ‘success’ has wholly been my own doing, apparently, for not putting myself forward enough, and speaking to people. If I’m guilty of anything, I feel I have been unlucky to choose quiet times in the places I’ve been, and the people who were in, weren’t interested in (yet another  ) single male. |
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