FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > Men declining in a club
Men declining in a club
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"Yes people decline. They polity say "I'm just having a break""
I know people do. More specifically asking about men and if any honest enough to say if they look at the mantel piece before the hearth? |
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"Just out of curiosity have any men declined an offer of play from a lady at a club? Could be based on looks, activity etc?"
I get turned down but I behave in such a deliberate way in clubs, I want them to turn me down if they don’t find me appealing. |
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I (M) visited Angels to see how much fun a Greedy Girls night would be, it was a really great night but I was only checking it out before we both went. I was hugely flattered that a lovely lady wanted me, but I turned her down as we only play when we are both together. In any other circumstances I would not have turned her down, but It felt great to have been asked  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
absolutely i have said no thank you... you have to be pragmatic in that you are never got to like everybody and i don't believe i am just a piece of meat from someone else...
i would like to hope that i treat people with the same respect they would give me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, occasionally if I dont feel amy chemistry. I just tend to move the conversation on and then make a polite excuse.
A sexy smile, laugh and eye contact for me really gets things going as well. Incidentally so does kissing later on..I always have fun but do need some connection to get going! |
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I asked a guy I know this, how he declines etc. He said in a club he will tend to make an excuse rather than say "no thanks". But he said at a party he feels like he is there to entertain so he doesn't decline, even if there's no attraction. Obviously parties are hard to come by for single men, but they're not paid to be there they're invited, so shouldn't be expected to entertain everyone there.
I can't physically have sex with someone I'm not attracted to, and I've never been able to understand how some people can, applies to men and women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have. As at the time I was at a crossroads with swinging v seeing someone. She was hot also! I was shocked she wanted to
Play but she was respectful and understood my reasons |
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At our last visit to a club, we had two guys turn down the offer of a handjob from Steph whilst they were watching several couples playing in an open room. She was knelt just inside the room behind some bars, giving me a blowjob at the time. The third guy was only too happy to be lent a hand 
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By *amesB66Man
over a year ago
St Peter Port |
"Just out of curiosity have any men declined an offer of play from a lady at a club? Could be based on looks, activity etc?"
Jeez yes...on more than one occasion...all alcohol or drugs related as it happens |
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"I asked a guy I know this, how he declines etc. He said in a club he will tend to make an excuse rather than say "no thanks". But he said at a party he feels like he is there to entertain so he doesn't decline, even if there's no attraction. Obviously parties are hard to come by for single men, but they're not paid to be there they're invited, so shouldn't be expected to entertain everyone there.
I can't physically have sex with someone I'm not attracted to, and I've never been able to understand how some people can, applies to men and women. "
Totally this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah, I've made excuses in the past rather than a flat out "no".
It tends to be more about personality, or what they're into than looks that makes me want to walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only time I've ever had to decline was when a woman tried to mount me bareback in a hot tub. She didn't take it well.
Wow that’s just rude and presumptuous of her?"
It was rather. At the time I was more shocked that someone wanted to play in the first place. |
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When I have played with my ex partner she used to attract a lot of attention and for some reason I used to get my cock grabbed a couple of times uninvited. I used to say a firm no and remove their hand gently. I would never dream of doing it to a woman.
One women damn near pulled it so hard I thought she was going to turn it inside out.
So upfront communication is preferable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, I have declined in a club. One notable time, the woman who offered was too rough, with no finesse, unbearably bossy and seemed to have been drinking or taking something. I figured I would have a shit time. I said no. She tried to drag me. I had to say no in a very straightforward way for her to get the message! |
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"The only time I've ever had to decline was when a woman tried to mount me bareback in a hot tub. She didn't take it well.
Wow that’s just rude and presumptuous of her?
It was rather. At the time I was more shocked that someone wanted to play in the first place."
Aw don’t say that xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes people decline. They polity say "I'm just having a break"
I know people do. More specifically asking about men and if any honest enough to say if they look at the mantel piece before the hearth?"
I always do look at mantlepiece |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The only time I've ever had to decline was when a woman tried to mount me bareback in a hot tub. She didn't take it well.
Wow that’s just rude and presumptuous of her?
It was rather. At the time I was more shocked that someone wanted to play in the first place.
Aw don’t say that xx"
There's no point denying reality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have approached men in clubs and they have politely declined for many reasons including they didn’t fancy me. That’s ok. No one can fancy everyone.
V x "
Hi V! I fancy you |
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"Yes I have approached men in clubs and they have politely declined for many reasons including they didn’t fancy me. That’s ok. No one can fancy everyone.
V x "
Same here,I have no problem approaching men,having a chat,I don't beat around the bush,if I think the conversation is going well...I will ask if they would like to play
Occasionally a guy will politely say no or say maybe later which means no or they spot a fem they are interested in and they start druling and they run off it's usually a sign of no interest 
Some woman can take rejection too |
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We were at a club night recently where one of the hosts was looking for 5 guys to come and gang bang a woman who was ready and waiting on a bed. In a room of about 15 single guys, not one of them was interested. |
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"We were at a club night recently where one of the hosts was looking for 5 guys to come and gang bang a woman who was ready and waiting on a bed. In a room of about 15 single guys, not one of them was interested. "
Maybe the guys were nervous of group play? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were at a club night recently where one of the hosts was looking for 5 guys to come and gang bang a woman who was ready and waiting on a bed. In a room of about 15 single guys, not one of them was interested.
Maybe the guys were nervous of group play?"
Maybe (shock horror) they didn't fancy her. There's a real attitude among a lot of women who I've seen at clubs (not a majority, but a significant minority) that they're God's gift to men just for being a female swinger, and men should take what they're given. |
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"We were at a club night recently where one of the hosts was looking for 5 guys to come and gang bang a woman who was ready and waiting on a bed. In a room of about 15 single guys, not one of them was interested.
Maybe the guys were nervous of group play?
Maybe (shock horror) they didn't fancy her. There's a real attitude among a lot of women who I've seen at clubs (not a majority, but a significant minority) that they're God's gift to men just for being a female swinger, and men should take what they're given."
So agree with you there bud, I got accused of be gay because I didn't want to play with a female in a club once. |
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"Men are fussy too ya know "
That’s both reassuring and flattering to know. I haven’t yet had a decline and don’t rate myself so based on the average response....it’s because they are genuinely interested!! Result!!! |
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"We were at a club night recently where one of the hosts was looking for 5 guys to come and gang bang a woman who was ready and waiting on a bed. In a room of about 15 single guys, not one of them was interested.
Maybe the guys were nervous of group play?
Maybe (shock horror) they didn't fancy her. There's a real attitude among a lot of women who I've seen at clubs (not a majority, but a significant minority) that they're God's gift to men just for being a female swinger, and men should take what they're given."
You have to feel for the woman though, wouldn't have been great for her confidence. And this is coming from someone who has been snubbed in clubs |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
I have withdrawn from play twice, one I had too much to drink (in tha middle of a mini orgy) and I wouldn’t have done anyone justice.
The second was a B/d play, it didn’t feel right, incongruent, I was tired so holistically wasn’t a good place.
Ecology me thinks. |
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It has been known...
I have had to decline a couple of times due to apparent d*unkenness.
There have also been a few times when a tactical withdrawal has been made - you know the scene - relaxing in the jacuzzi feeling a hand wandering up the thigh - looking over and not really getting the buzz of excitement because they aren't 'really your type' and then saying that 'I am going all wrinkly in the fingers / stinging eyes, and need to get out'.
I have even used the 'i'm recovering' line if its been in the bar or social area.
Although it is every guys dream to have someone come up and ask if you will fuck them - in practice you know in advance (especially at my age !!) if its likely to rise to the occasion - and if there is no buzz its better to make excuses than disappoint later...
So actually I don't think I have never said NO I am too chicken - I have always made excuses - is that just me being English ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of curiosity have any men declined an offer of play from a lady at a club? Could be based on looks, activity etc?"
I'm surprised you ask this question. Seems to imply men can't and wont say no if there's some fanny fluttering in front of them which is a bit degrading. If a single guy asked this question of the oppisite sex, I wonder would the replies be as tempered?
To answer you question, I've turned down a lot of advances. It can create enemies when it's on fab too, so one needs to be tough skinned and have self respect or one looses the plot.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only once because the lady was extremely d*unk. She and her partner were politely asked to leave not long after. I am a gentleman and dont like to say no, but there does need to be some attraction |
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"Just out of curiosity have any men declined an offer of play from a lady at a club? Could be based on looks, activity etc?
I'm surprised you ask this question. Seems to imply men can't and wont say no if there's some fanny fluttering in front of them which is a bit degrading. If a single guy asked this question of the oppisite sex, I wonder would the replies be as tempered?
Not at all.. it follows a conversation with a male non swinging friend and it’s me testing his theory on the topic
To answer you question, I've turned down a lot of advances. It can create enemies when it's on fab too, so one needs to be tough skinned and have self respect or one looses the plot.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just out of curiosity have any men declined an offer of play from a lady at a club? Could be based on looks, activity etc?
I'm surprised you ask this question. Seems to imply men can't and wont say no if there's some fanny fluttering in front of them which is a bit degrading. If a single guy asked this question of the oppisite sex, I wonder would the replies be as tempered?
To answer you question, I've turned down a lot of advances. It can create enemies when it's on fab too, so one needs to be tough skinned and have self respect or one looses the plot.
"
You say that, but there really is a thinking on the part of some women and couples that any single man will be so grateful that someone's offering them a fuck that they'll stick their cock in anything. |
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".....
You say that, but there really is a thinking on the part of some women and couples that any single man will be so grateful that someone's offering them a fuck that they'll stick their cock in anything."
From what I have seen some will !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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".....
You say that, but there really is a thinking on the part of some women and couples that any single man will be so grateful that someone's offering them a fuck that they'll stick their cock in anything.
From what I have seen some will !!!"
You're not wrong. |
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This sexy women sent a mate of hers to ask me over at the angels she had a good looking body especially her butt but it came as a shock to me so i told her mate that i would play but not right now apparently she got upset didnt see her all night
At the same evening i had a couple asked me out and i joined them we made a best steamy sex
There you go happy ending at the end of the night doesnt matter what you look like as long as you make it right |
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"Ha!!!!!! I knew the “recovery” story was an excuse. I have had that one too (and, to be honest, I’ve used it as well)
V xx"
In all honesty; I look forward to the time I need to use the ‘recovery’ line in a club |
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Occasionally either of us have to decline. For a number of reasons - already had a busy night, or haven't enough time left to give the lady or guy the attention we'd like. Or just occasionally we simply don't think it would work. But we always explain why  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We were at a club night recently where one of the hosts was looking for 5 guys to come and gang bang a woman who was ready and waiting on a bed. In a room of about 15 single guys, not one of them was interested.
Maybe the guys were nervous of group play?
Maybe (shock horror) they didn't fancy her. There's a real attitude among a lot of women who I've seen at clubs (not a majority, but a significant minority) that they're God's gift to men just for being a female swinger, and men should take what they're given.
You have to feel for the woman though, wouldn't have been great for her confidence. And this is coming from someone who has been snubbed in clubs "
She will get over it, others get rejected way more
That's life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I have approached men in clubs and they have politely declined for many reasons including they didn’t fancy me. That’s ok. No one can fancy everyone.
V x "
A very fair response too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have declined a woman's invitation in a club before. My Plus One was elsewhere having fun and sitting in the bar waiting for her to finish a woman asked me to join her in the sauna.... My brain-mouth filter didn't engage quickly enough and I just blurted out "No".... Her face poor girl was a picture. Then the filter engaged and I apologised for not handling heat (I genuinely can't, kills me off).
She later came down and my Plus One asked how she was... The other woman made a point of saying that I had missed out as she had a MFM . |
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