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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Right - this might seem obvious to most of you. But I’m pretty much a newbie to clubs. I’ve never been to one and I have some Q’s
When you go is there a lot of people there, or is it quiet? Do you see the same faces again and again, or is it varied?
And what’s the etiquette? - is it a free for all, or is it like a regular club where people respect your boundaries and a relatively reserved until you give the green light?
I’m tempted to go and I keep getting invited by couples. But I don’t really want to get involved in the “scene” side of things (eg seeing the same faces regularly) and I get worried that people won’t respect my boundaries, or that I’ll offend someone if I’m not interested.
Any insight would be great |
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"Right - this might seem obvious to most of you. But I’m pretty much a newbie to clubs. I’ve never been to one and I have some Q’s
When you go is there a lot of people there, or is it quiet? Do you see the same faces again and again, or is it varied?
And what’s the etiquette? - is it a free for all, or is it like a regular club where people respect your boundaries and a relatively reserved until you give the green light?
I’m tempted to go and I keep getting invited by couples. But I don’t really want to get involved in the “scene” side of things (eg seeing the same faces regularly) and I get worried that people won’t respect my boundaries, or that I’ll offend someone if I’m not interested.
Any insight would be great "
If you believe your questions then you've got it all wrong 
A club is like a pub/bar/nightclub, where some people go off to have sex. Like in a pub/bar/nightclub |
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Who or how many are there is a bit "how long is a piece of string": depends on the club, the night, the event, the size of the scene where you are.
Etiquette: almost without exception (it should be without exception), no means no and it's not a free for all. Generally approaching people in a bar area is a good way of seeing if they're interested. In the case of public play, slow, gradual approach with plenty of opportunity to be told no is acceptable, and/or gentle touches on arms or legs to see if more might be welcome.
There are always people who'll try to go too far, but they're in the minority. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Right - this might seem obvious to most of you. But I’m pretty much a newbie to clubs. I’ve never been to one and I have some Q’s
When you go is there a lot of people there, or is it quiet? Do you see the same faces again and again, or is it varied?
And what’s the etiquette? - is it a free for all, or is it like a regular club where people respect your boundaries and a relatively reserved until you give the green light?
I’m tempted to go and I keep getting invited by couples. But I don’t really want to get involved in the “scene” side of things (eg seeing the same faces regularly) and I get worried that people won’t respect my boundaries, or that I’ll offend someone if I’m not interested.
Any insight would be great "
I think most clubs have regulars that go weekly/monthly so you will see the same faces if you go to the same club each time.
I should warn you, alot of 'the scene' is social as much as sexual so you may have an issue if you don't want to get involved in that. |
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"Right - this might seem obvious to most of you. But I’m pretty much a newbie to clubs. I’ve never been to one and I have some Q’s
When you go is there a lot of people there, or is it quiet? Do you see the same faces again and again, or is it varied?
And what’s the etiquette? - is it a free for all, or is it like a regular club where people respect your boundaries and a relatively reserved until you give the green light?
I’m tempted to go and I keep getting invited by couples. But I don’t really want to get involved in the “scene” side of things (eg seeing the same faces regularly) and I get worried that people won’t respect my boundaries, or that I’ll offend someone if I’m not interested.
Any insight would be great "
Clubs are certainly not a free for all. No means no is the first rule. If you are not interested in the social side them maybe a sex club would be more your scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As some said above, all depends on the day/night, the event etc. If it's a long day event, then there would be people coming and going at different times, depending on what suits them. Some would only come for a few hours during the day, some would come after work/in the evening only, and some would stay most of the duration of the event.
Each club that I know has got an area that is meant for socialising only, where you can chat to others, see how you get on, and play areas. Each club has rules regarding dress code (check club's website before going), as well as rules regarding play. Most clubs do not provide condoms, so it's good practice to have some, just in case. Also, 'no' is supposed to mean 'no', without exceptions.
I'd suggest chatting with people rather than just staring or following them wherever they go in the hope to be invited to play. I find men just staring at me, without trying to strike a conversation, creepy. Even worse if they try to touch without my permission. |
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"Right - this might seem obvious to most of you. But I’m pretty much a newbie to clubs. I’ve never been to one and I have some Q’s
When you go is there a lot of people there, or is it quiet? Do you see the same faces again and again, or is it varied?
And what’s the etiquette? - is it a free for all, or is it like a regular club where people respect your boundaries and a relatively reserved until you give the green light?
I’m tempted to go and I keep getting invited by couples. But I don’t really want to get involved in the “scene” side of things (eg seeing the same faces regularly) and I get worried that people won’t respect my boundaries, or that I’ll offend someone if I’m not interested.
Any insight would be great "
Hi OP. All questions I've seen asked before by people who are curious about clubs so don't feel daft for asking.
You never know how many people will be at a club on any given day, it's just pot luck. I often see the same people at a club as both then and I go regularly. You do get to know people and some I would consider to be friends, others are just passing aquaintances and we nod and say hello - a bit like if you have a regular pub you visit. There are always lots of new people visiting. Most clubs will show you around so you see them getting given a tour.
Clubs are definitely not a free for all. The basic rules for all clubs are "no means no" and "ask before touching". This is usually explained when you have your tour of the club. As a single lady visiting for the first time I was told that if anyone breaks these rules I should report them immediately to the staff and they would be asked to leave.
For most people the biggest part of visiting swingers clubs is the social scene and not just the sex. The sex is great but most of us can get a shag anywhere.
Don't worry about offending people by saying a polite no thanks, this is the correct way to turn them down. We have all been turned down in a club before (well most of us anyway) so we can handle it.
The ideal way to treat a club visit is to view it as a social night out and you might pull if you're lucky - just the same as if you were going to a traditional night club. Be friendly, chatty and sociable. Make a good impression on people and even if you don't get to play with them this time you might do next time.
If you have any more questions just fire away |
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