FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Club Discussion > How do you drop a hint?

How do you drop a hint?

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I haven't been to any swinging clubs and I'm intrigued to know how do you drop the hint if you want to have sex with someone.

I imagine it can feel abit awkward when someone refuses.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

How would you do it 1:1 with someone?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And it’s only awkward if you can’t handle rejection, and you make it awkward.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I don't think hinting is any good. If you're on conversation with someone you could say "would you like to play?" then they can say "yes please" or "no thank you"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If they say 'no' start to cry so you'd be in for a pity fuck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Could I offer your vag a glass of champagne??

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Fancy finding somewhere a bit more private?"

"Want to play?"

"I'm going into that room/ the hot tub, want to come?"

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By *eamgreen30Couple over a year ago

stroud

When we go to clubs we go with no expectations of pulling. We go to have a good sociable night and if we strike up conversation with interesting people and it leads to more so be it. Just because you’re going to a club doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get laid

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/08/19 15:46:21]

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By *tephTV67TV/TS over a year ago

Cheshire

""Fancy finding somewhere a bit more private?"

"Want to play?"

"I'm going into that room/ the hot tub, want to come?" "

This, it can be this direct without being explicit

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And it’s only awkward if you can’t handle rejection, and you make it awkward. "

I agree.. but I think the ones doing the rejecting can be equally to blame for making things awkward.

Especially if they employ some of the tactics people use online. Ignoring and laughing in people's faces tends not to go down very well face to face.

If someone has managed to pluck up the courage to talk to you.. it doesn't hurt to show some manners and heart when it comes to saying thanks, but no thanks. It may feel a little awkward having doing so.. but it's better than being cunty about it.

The onus isn't solely on the person making the approach to keep things civil, kind and non-awkward.

I think a lot of people forget that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And it’s only awkward if you can’t handle rejection, and you make it awkward.

I agree.. but I think the ones doing the rejecting can be equally to blame for making things awkward.

Especially if they employ some of the tactics people use online. Ignoring and laughing in people's faces tends not to go down very well face to face.

The onus isn't solely on the person making the approach to keep things civil, kind and non-awkward.

I think a lot of people forget that."

Also true.

Hopefully everyone can act mature

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Chat with people at clubs, such as in the social area - there's not just you that can direct things in specific directions. Even suggesting something like 'Fancy coming for a walk around/explore?', isn't full of sexually loaded content but others are likely to get the drift and would probably decline, if they aren't interested in sex.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don't think hinting is any good. If you're on conversation with someone you could say "would you like to play?" then they can say "yes please" or "no thank you" "

Being around like-minded people who are at a club, it's easier to fall into that conversation. Just ask. No harm.

Naturally you get talking anyway & in my experience of clubs the people have always been respectful.

Go for it OP x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't been to any swinging clubs and I'm intrigued to know how do you drop the hint if you want to have sex with someone.

I imagine it can feel abit awkward when someone refuses. "

In answer to your question.. I'd concentrate on building rapport rather than dropping hints. Give people the chance to get to know you. If they like you, it may be them dropping the hints.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't been to any swinging clubs and I'm intrigued to know how do you drop the hint if you want to have sex with someone.

I imagine it can feel abit awkward when someone refuses. "

Can I borrow parking place for few mins need to Park my dick.. Never say this

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And it’s only awkward if you can’t handle rejection, and you make it awkward.

I agree.. but I think the ones doing the rejecting can be equally to blame for making things awkward.

Especially if they employ some of the tactics people use online. Ignoring and laughing in people's faces tends not to go down very well face to face.

The onus isn't solely on the person making the approach to keep things civil, kind and non-awkward.

I think a lot of people forget that.

Also true.

Hopefully everyone can act mature

if only

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"How would you do it 1:1 with someone?"

I wouldnt do it with someone I don't know in a different situation.

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By *iss SJWoman over a year ago

Hull

Here’s not what it to do, grab someone’s arm as they are walking by you and try to pull them towards you. Or sidle up to sit near someone and put your arm around their waist and your hand on their bum if you’ve not even spoken to them. I’m sure you would know better than to do that though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"How would you do it 1:1 with someone?

I wouldnt do it with someone I don't know in a different situation. "

My point exactly. Get to know them.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

You pull on your big boy pants and ask them politely. Tho if you are turned down remember to be polite. You can't behave like a spoilt brat and spit your dummy out like many do on here - unless you wanna look like a dick.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You pull on your big boy pants and ask them politely. Tho if you are turned down remember to be polite. You can't behave like a spoilt brat and spit your dummy out like many do on here - unless you wanna look like a dick. "

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell. "

Only ever happened once to me. Didn't end well for him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

Only ever happened once to me. Didn't end well for him. "

so it do happen then

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell. "

Yes it does happen and not only men do it, I've had abuse from couples for kindly asking them not to grab my genitals or tits when in the jacuzzi, most men have actually just said 'OK, maybe some other time' or 'ok, have a good night'.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell. "

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might"

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends. "

Gee thanks I didn’t think of that one, thanks for solving all my issues on fab

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends. "

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

As a single guy, go with no expectations, be polite, chat to people like you normally would, when chatting to couples remember to engage the man as well as woman, and if rejected don't get stropy and take it politely. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?"

You’d think

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?"

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it. "

Or the men could stop being dicks?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks? "

Dont hold ya breath

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

Dont hold ya breath"

Oh I know, I just don't see how people say 'block men then' when the men should just stop being dickheads.

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By *herealdeal90Man over a year ago

Huddersfield

Do what normal people do and talk to girls. Have a chat & banter and see where it takes you. Nothing awkward about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks? "

which is never going to happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

Dont hold ya breath

Oh I know, I just don't see how people say 'block men then' when the men should just stop being dickheads. "

Yup

I believe its called victim blaming

Its our fault. For being on here in the first place. We deserve to be disrespected

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't been to any swinging clubs and I'm intrigued to know how do you drop the hint if you want to have sex with someone.

I imagine it can feel abit awkward when someone refuses. "

hey OP

It is a bit like go with the flow of things do not go with hopes they maybe dashed in the fear of being rejected. Think about why you are there are and enjoy it and be yourself just like in normal life no need to feel awkward. Think of it as like you are with your friends and all there for the same thing but remember NO means NO! You too can say no thank you! A party you do not know anyone, take the plunge and chat to people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen. "

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

Dont hold ya breath

Oh I know, I just don't see how people say 'block men then' when the men should just stop being dickheads.

Yup

I believe its called victim blaming

Its our fault. For being on here in the first place. We deserve to be disrespected"

This

How dare we allow men to message us and for us not to expect abuse? God forbid should these men have to stop acting like cavemen and take peoples rejections well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ..."

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads. "

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong. "

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads. "

Yes some men will always be dicks online. Ironically you find it easy to argue this point, yet don't have a clue how to approach women in clubs. This just goes to show how different some men are on here compared to face to face. Would you argue like this face to face?

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

It isn't both people's responsibility, do you not see that? Why should someone that is doing nothing wrong take half of the responsibility for someone else's actions?

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

I am not accepting any reponsibility for men sending abusive messages. Victim shaming or what!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

Can you explain why the people that receive the abuse and disrespect are responsible?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

I asked for advice because I haven't been to a club before and it's all new to me.

I'm not arguing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

It isn't both people's responsibility, do you not see that? Why should someone that is doing nothing wrong take half of the responsibility for someone else's actions? "

Jesus all I said was you have an option to stop messages.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

I asked for advice because I haven't been to a club before and it's all new to me.

I'm not arguing. "

You are saying women are some way responsible for abuse. Try saying that face to face with the women you meet in clubs. Be interesting to see how you handle that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

Can you explain why the people that receive the abuse and disrespect are responsible?"

I meant the ladies who received abusive messages. They have the option to stop them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

I asked for advice because I haven't been to a club before and it's all new to me.

I'm not arguing.

You are saying women are some way responsible for abuse. Try saying that face to face with the women you meet in clubs. Be interesting to see how you handle that. "

No I didn't mean it like that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

Can you explain why the people that receive the abuse and disrespect are responsible?

I meant the ladies who received abusive messages. They have the option to stop them. "

And just not interact with the men on here at all?

Lest they become somehow responsible for the garbage and rudeness they experience?

Ok then

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

This got me thinking. I've heard that a lot of men online ask women for sex and when they're turned down, they insult and call them names etc.. I wonder do that behaviour ever happen at clubs.

I bet you all have some stories funny stories to tell.

I doubt they’d be funny, I don’t really find the abuse I receive on fab funny let alone in person, but some people might

Then maybe you should stop all single men from messaging you and just interact with friends.

Why? People are free to use the site in a way that they chose, surely its down to the dicks who abuse people to modify their behaviour, not the other way around?

there is no end to the dicks they keep coming and multiplying and they will not stop.

If its getting to much then for a quick fix I'd just block, if it's such a problem.

You don't have to persevere with it.

Or the men could stop being dicks?

which is never going to happen.

why? You saying it is okay for all men and women to be disrepectful ...

No not at all I'm not saying that.

I'm saying there will allways be men online who will be dick heads.

But why is it our responsibility to stop it? We aren't doing anything wrong.

It's both responsibility. But I can't see men ever stopping.

Can you explain why the people that receive the abuse and disrespect are responsible?

I meant the ladies who received abusive messages. They have the option to stop them. "

How? They have already received the message and therefore the abuse. Yes they can block afterwards but damage still done. Why should they block all males if they don't want to? They are not the ones being abusive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument. "

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude. "

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant. "

Oh dear, the woman doesn't have to take any responsibility that a man can't help being rude, it is not the womans fault.

I will not block all single men because that is who I want to contact me, just not all of them and I'm entitled to refuse to engage with someone without receiving abuse, because I don't have all men blocked does not make me in any way responsible for some of their bad behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument. "

To be fair to you OP. I agree with you.. If I were a woman on here, I'd block all men and just contact the ones I liked. Especially using the forum.. which must bump up the level of tripe they're sent.

It's easier than trying to make the majority of men see the error of their ways.

To be fair go the other commenters. They're also correct.. the onus shouldn't be on them to change their behaviour when they're not to blame.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This went well

smh

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"This went well

smh "

A simple conversation opener could be; “Have I seen you in Fab?”

Or;

“Are you a regular in here? It’s my first time...”

A simple hint (if things feel like they’re going well) could be;

“Are you interested in any play this evening?”

Or;

“Do you prefer the open play areas, or a private room?”

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the advice everyone

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman over a year ago

Victoria, London

Most don't disguise their interest. Normally quite blatant, wanna fuck?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And it’s only awkward if you can’t handle rejection, and you make it awkward.

I agree.. but I think the ones doing the rejecting can be equally to blame for making things awkward.

Especially if they employ some of the tactics people use online. Ignoring and laughing in people's faces tends not to go down very well face to face.

The onus isn't solely on the person making the approach to keep things civil, kind and non-awkward.

I think a lot of people forget that."

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By *etro1940sCouple over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

"I don't think hinting is any good. If you're on conversation with someone you could say "would you like to play?" then they can say "yes please" or "no thank you" "
precisely the best policy ... some might be shy but in a club environ it should be candid and full of clarity to just ask about "playing"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant. "

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!"

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

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By *pitfiremk10Man over a year ago

Gloucester

"I don't think hinting is any good. If you're on conversation with someone you could say "would you like to play?" then they can say "yes please" or "no thank you" "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!"

You make a lot of sense

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

You don't have to do anything.

Maybe chill out abit and stop being so argumentative.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

You don't have to do anything.

Maybe chill out abit and stop being so argumentative. "

I'm chilled, I just don't like being told I am partially responsible for someone else's behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't been to any swinging clubs and I'm intrigued to know how do you drop the hint if you want to have sex with someone.

I imagine it can feel abit awkward when someone refuses. "

You be lucky enough to get a refusal, most of the time you get no answer. I like to thank people who reply, respect x

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By *dysseusukMan over a year ago

Chelmsford

I think the OP has been a little unfairly treated. Of course anyone (men, women or couples) who are being abusive should be held responsible, so if you are on the wrong end of any abuse, report it and then block that individual (you don't need to block all members of that gender). In a club you should do the same thing, report any bad behaviour, and if the club is professional as most are it will speak to or bar that individual. I have no doubt women suffer from these issues more than any other group, but I also have more than 20 blocked men on my list and some couples. In real life if this happens, I walk away, online I block or ignore them. You can't control other people's behaviour, so it's not an issue of taking responsibility. It's about rising above it and not giving the abusers air time, or simply report it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""Fancy finding somewhere a bit more private?"

"Want to play?"

"I'm going into that room/ the hot tub, want to come?"

This, it can be this direct without being explicit

Exactly this dont drop hints. Be open about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

You don't have to do anything.

Maybe chill out abit and stop being so argumentative.

I'm chilled, I just don't like being told I am partially responsible for someone else's behaviour."

get over it then

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman over a year ago

London

OP, preferably introduce yourself first, chat to her/them. Do not just approach a complete stranger with an offer of sex.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple over a year ago

North west ish

"I think the OP has been a little unfairly treated. Of course anyone (men, women or couples) who are being abusive should be held responsible, so if you are on the wrong end of any abuse, report it and then block that individual (you don't need to block all members of that gender). In a club you should do the same thing, report any bad behaviour, and if the club is professional as most are it will speak to or bar that individual. I have no doubt women suffer from these issues more than any other group, but I also have more than 20 blocked men on my list and some couples. In real life if this happens, I walk away, online I block or ignore them. You can't control other people's behaviour, so it's not an issue of taking responsibility. It's about rising above it and not giving the abusers air time, or simply report it."

I really don't think us ladies that have commented need advise on how to manage our accounts, many have been on the scene for years and are well aware of report, block etc. Neither do we need to be told that we are jointly responsible for the abuse, which is what the OP has said. The issue was that the victim of abuse is someway responsible for it - victim shaming. Calling someone out for their comment on abuse is not treating them unfairly. The issue of abuse does need calling out - or it becomes acceptable, which is not ok. The forum is about debate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *ancelot1633Man over a year ago

Bournmouth

Gotta get me some big boy pants

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

You don't have to do anything.

Maybe chill out abit and stop being so argumentative.

I'm chilled, I just don't like being told I am partially responsible for someone else's behaviour.

get over it then "

I will not accept you telling me I'm partially responsible for abuse and telling me to get over it is patronising and pathetic, don't make such strong statements if you can't back them up in a reasonable debate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/08/19 12:02:52]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

You don't have to do anything.

Maybe chill out abit and stop being so argumentative.

I'm chilled, I just don't like being told I am partially responsible for someone else's behaviour.

get over it then

He didn't say it's women's fault. He definitely didn't say women are responsible for the abuse they get!! Loads of people on this thread have twisted his words or said things he hasn't said.

He said both are responsible for stopping it. That's all.

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By *eeleyWoman over a year ago

Dudley

"I swear some of you have nothing better to do than look for arguments in these forums.

You are taking what I said the wrong way and trying to turm it into an argument.

No, you said women should take sone responsibility for men being abusive, that is completely wrong.

It is not our responsibility to stop men being rude to us, it's their responsibility to stop being rude.

I meant its the man's responsibility to stop doing it and it's the woman's responsibility to block them.

That's all I meant.

I know what you meant and I agree!

Some men will never stop being abusive on sites like this. Don't know why some women get so uppity about it. It's not victim blaming to give advice about how to stop abusive messages.

If someone was getting punched in the face surely they would move away. They wouldn't just stand there saying "oh it's their fault for hitting me" while the punches continue!

Of course they are to blame.... but for fuck's sake don't just stand there.......!!

So we have to block ALL males to stop the ones that do get abusive instead of holding the abusive men accountable for their actions?

You don't have to do anything.

Maybe chill out abit and stop being so argumentative.

I'm chilled, I just don't like being told I am partially responsible for someone else's behaviour.

get over it then

He didn't say it's women's fault. He definitely didn't say women are responsible for the abuse they get!! Loads of people on this thread have twisted his words or said things he hasn't said.

He said both are responsible for stopping it. That's all.

I am not responsible for stopping someone else's behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I can't see why there is so much backlash about suggesting women block men.

This really is stupid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"When we go to clubs we go with no expectations of pulling. We go to have a good sociable night and if we strike up conversation with interesting people and it leads to more so be it. Just because you’re going to a club doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to get laid "

Exactly this.. I always go with no expectations and no pressure to play.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I haven't been to any swinging clubs and I'm intrigued to know how do you drop the hint if you want to have sex with someone.

I imagine it can feel abit awkward when someone refuses. "

Come out and ask the question if they want to play or not. I’ll hold my hand up and say hints completely pass me by.

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"I can't see why there is so much backlash about suggesting women block men.

This really is stupid.

The problem OP is that firstly, you’re mansplaining to some very capable & fab-experienced ladies what they should do. (eg what filters to use to limit the messages they get)

After doing that & riling them, you then said (whether you meant it this way or not) that they were partly responsible for stopping the abuse.

So basically, you ballsed up on 2 levels - albeit unintentionally.

The ladies are correct in that, by not calling out victim shaming, whether intended or not, it allows it to become normalised.

The fact that you couldn’t see that you had implied this (even though it was unintended) then just proceeded to throw fuel on the fire for a third time!

With regards to a club, just get into normal conversation versatile a with people & take it from there. Walking up to someone you haven’t chatted to & asking them to play is likely to get you nowhere.

But steer away from conversations like this one!!

And remember, rejection isn’t personal in a club - it just depends what people are there for! You could ask a women to play who is specifically looking for couples, or group play.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Here here x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don't say

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Personally....just be adult and mature about it...I mean at the end of the day people are there to have sex and one thing that puts us Swingers off is bullshit or time wasters...so just be upfront if you like someone but be prepared for knock backs if it’s not quite right for those someone’s...good Swingers will always be polite in their knock backs

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By *oul BrothaMan over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

Book marked

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan over a year ago

Coventry

I genrally think (especially for 1:1) if the conversation is going well and there's lots of reciprocal flirtation then simply ask on the lines of 'shall we take this to another room' or 'shall we take a little walk round' (clearly with a veiw to go off to the play rooms). If the chemistry is right it'll come across as intended even if not spelt out in words. Dont forget to take the single lady by the hand as you get up and move on. That genrally worked for me.

With couples it genrally better to let them take the lead.

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