FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Time Wasters
Time Wasters
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"Members definition of a timewaster varies though.. He said, they said springs to mind and in my opinion it would be difficult to actually verify who's story was correct.."
Yep. I agree here. It is far too open for people to just lie about it against someone they don't like.
In my experience we have chatted to people. An alarm bells have rang which caused us to not arrange a meet.
The warning signs are there. And mostly they are obvious. |
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"How about a flag for time wasters on their profile like the verification, gold or silver flag.
This would be good ??"
We've just put a Red Flag on your profile to let everyone know you're time wasters.
Winston |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Members definition of a timewaster varies though.. He said, they said springs to mind and in my opinion it would be difficult to actually verify who's story was correct..
Yep. I agree here. It is far too open for people to just lie about it against someone they don't like.
In my experience we have chatted to people. An alarm bells have rang which caused us to not arrange a meet.
The warning signs are there. And mostly they are obvious. "
This! I've been called all sorts for not wanting to meet people or continue conversations, when infact I've just picked up on red flags that I'm not willing to ignore |
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"How about a flag for time wasters on their profile like the verification, gold or silver flag.
This would be good ??"
I've just reported you for being a time waster, I expect to see the mark of shame on your profile shortly.
(I obviously haven't reported you, but hopefully you see my point) |
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I agree, it wouldn’t work. I’ve had the same girl ask to make arrangements three times. We agree, then she disappears. I’ve been sat waiting for her to turn up and she pulled out at 5 pm. Hotel paid for too. Her response is she owes me nothing, it’s a swinging site. Yes, she is right, but there’s manners. She then emailed back a few days later asking me can we meet up at an exclusive hotel. Have fun in the hot tubs etc. Again, a no show and now she’s blocked me!!!! That warrants a red flag but the issue would be … who gets in first? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I agree, it wouldn’t work. I’ve had the same girl ask to make arrangements three times. We agree, then she disappears. I’ve been sat waiting for her to turn up and she pulled out at 5 pm. Hotel paid for too. Her response is she owes me nothing, it’s a swinging site. Yes, she is right, but there’s manners. She then emailed back a few days later asking me can we meet up at an exclusive hotel. Have fun in the hot tubs etc. Again, a no show and now she’s blocked me!!!! That warrants a red flag but the issue would be … who gets in first?"
I’m sorry this has happened to you but to give someone three chances? Especially after her first response. It would have been an instant block there and then from me.
Viv
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"You can report people who don't turn up for meets. More people need to do that.
What happens when you report them ?"
No idea... I guess if they get reported multiple times they might get a ban? Admin would need to answer that |
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"I agree, it wouldn’t work. I’ve had the same girl ask to make arrangements three times. We agree, then she disappears. I’ve been sat waiting for her to turn up and she pulled out at 5 pm. Hotel paid for too. Her response is she owes me nothing, it’s a swinging site. Yes, she is right, but there’s manners. She then emailed back a few days later asking me can we meet up at an exclusive hotel. Have fun in the hot tubs etc. Again, a no show and now she’s blocked me!!!! That warrants a red flag but the issue would be … who gets in first?"
This is why you don't give people second chances. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We find this a good idea though there are some issues for the people that decide. For example when you report another and click they failed to turn up there is usually no way to validate this.
All of the messages are stored on the database and a simple search function which they must have already to check the interactions between the parties could be done. As this wouldn't necessarily be an action that would call for the removal of the profile. If they get enough then perhaps when they do a search they will get other timewasters at the top of their list as these people are less than likely to read your profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends |
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
After the last 2 years of lockdown, the site would have no members.
I've got a better idea. Revolutionary I know, why not let people run their profiles the way they want to run them?
If people want to take a year out, so what? How does a dormant profile affect anyone adversely?
Winston |
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
I think we should ban anyone who wants to ban people who use the site differently to them, and then try to cover it up with "sorry if this offends". |
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Humans are learning machines, so we have to largely take responsibility for how and what we learn. If you find that your success rate with meeting attendance isn't what you'd likex the onus is on you to learn from your experience and to modify your approach. If it's very bad, consider balancing it with club attendance, meeting others in planned and unplanned ways. There will still be others present, if your arrangement falls through.
Ultimately, fab will probably cancel accounts, if they repeatedly mess people about and abuse their goodwill. I don't think a warning system would be particularly practical and some would create a new account, if they were highlighted as a potential problem for others.
Adjusting your approach, to likely increasing your successful outcomes with getting to know and meet others, is the best that we can each do, alongside reporting users who fail to turn up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
We haven’t met anyone in over two years through circumstance and personal choice. We have however been on Fab for many years compared to your three months.
So yes, your suggestion offends.
Viv |
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends
We haven’t met anyone in over two years through circumstance and personal choice. We have however been on Fab for many years compared to your three months.
So yes, your suggestion offends.
Viv"
I hadn't spotted that.
Winston |
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends
We haven’t met anyone in over two years through circumstance and personal choice. We have however been on Fab for many years compared to your three months.
So yes, your suggestion offends.
Viv"
Yes. My meeting is almost completely on hold due to life circumstances, but I'm verified by in excess of 150 meets and in excess of 100 profiles.
Obviously I'm fake? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes. My meeting is almost completely on hold due to life circumstances, but I'm verified by in excess of 150 meets and in excess of 100 profiles.
Obviously I'm fake?"
I’ve seen your profile on FakeSwingers 
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"
Yes. My meeting is almost completely on hold due to life circumstances, but I'm verified by in excess of 150 meets and in excess of 100 profiles.
Obviously I'm fake?
I’ve seen your profile on FakeSwingers
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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how could you prove that they never turned up. Ave had lots of let downs.walked to where they were supposed to be and they werent there at all.so how do you prove that they didnt show up? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about a flag for time wasters on their profile like the verification, gold or silver flag.
This would be good ??"
Can I pls buy 500 messing flags pls . I'll use 25 of em today and another 3 tonite when no fucker turns up ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We almost entirely agree with what Sophieslut wrote earlier. The only point that we disagree upon is that we are entirely responsible for our learning and not largely. We're not looking for a fight or arguement over this yet the comments were so very nearly perfect that we had to point out this discrepancy.
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We have literally just had our time wasted tonight by a verified profile , just goes to show that there really isn’t anything stranger than folk . Arranged meet in plenty of time too , active on fab but blatently ignoring mails |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How could you prove they hadnt turned up? A number of years ago i gave a man i was arranging to meet a postcode as to where to pick me up. He woudnt disclose contact details. He told me he would be there at a time we both agreed on.i walked to the place 5 mins before he was due. He didnt show.i waited 15 extra mins after the time, i even walked the entire street twice to make sure i hadnt missed him. When i got home(its only a few mins from where we were due to meet) i sent him a message. I got a reply back about two hours later to say he had been to the location 5 mins before i was due to meet him and had waited for thirty mins. I told him i was there.the place is the name of a takeaway local to me so it cant be missed. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"There should be a seperate area of FAB for all paid up site supporters can use and the ones who don't pay can't. "
What would this achieve?
Do you honestly think people looking for kicks and cheap thrills who will gladly waste the time of others, can't afford £2.50 a month?  
A |
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"There should be a seperate area of FAB for all paid up site supporters can use and the ones who don't pay can't.
What would this achieve?
Do you honestly think people looking for kicks and cheap thrills who will gladly waste the time of others, can't afford £2.50 a month?
A"
People pay much more for entertainment... |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"There should be a seperate area of FAB for all paid up site supporters can use and the ones who don't pay can't.
What would this achieve?
Do you honestly think people looking for kicks and cheap thrills who will gladly waste the time of others, can't afford £2.50 a month?
A
People pay much more for entertainment..."
Yep. And they quibble about the cost of netflix.
Definitely no chill.....
A |
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"There should be a seperate area of FAB for all paid up site supporters can use and the ones who don't pay can't.
What would this achieve?
Do you honestly think people looking for kicks and cheap thrills who will gladly waste the time of others, can't afford £2.50 a month?
A"
What would it achieve? Well, more cast iron guaranteed genuine people and being knee deep in clunge obvs.....
Winston |
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"I agree, it wouldn’t work. I’ve had the same girl ask to make arrangements three times. We agree, then she disappears. I’ve been sat waiting for her to turn up and she pulled out at 5 pm. Hotel paid for too. Her response is she owes me nothing, it’s a swinging site. Yes, she is right, but there’s manners. She then emailed back a few days later asking me can we meet up at an exclusive hotel. Have fun in the hot tubs etc. Again, a no show and now she’s blocked me!!!! That warrants a red flag but the issue would be … who gets in first?"
Sorry but if they don't show the first time I'd block and report them, if your fool enough to let them string you along and pay for hotels then you only have yourself to blame |
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By *w5kerriTV/TS
over a year ago
SIN BIN CITY |
"You can report people who don't turn up for meets. More people need to do that. "
This. Admittedly, i do this and very little to nothing seems to happen atm but I suspect that’s because few people do this/know that they can do this.
I, for one, would just like to say the people who let someone get ready (dress, make up, nerves etc) for a meet & don’t show are irredeemable arseholes of the highest order.
***Full disclose: It’s literally happened to me in the last 24 hrs*** |
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By *ustmitchCouple
over a year ago
stow on the wold |
What can you do if someone that was going to meet you then one hour before just disappears off the site along with all the messages you sent them and the message they sent you you can't do anything we take it we have him our post code ect and phone number it's a bit worrying |
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
Lol that just makes no sense, you making a big assumption that all people on here can get a meet.
I find that it’s actually quite difficult to meet people from here, and I don’t think I’m alone in that.
So if I don’t get luckily enough to meet someone in the next 12 months that’s it…? Sorry but the logic is flawed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over the years we've been stood up 20+ times .. in with that we've booked n paid for 6 hotels ..travelled to Angel of North from Leeds .. no show .. one stunning 24/25 year female turned out to be a 50 year old guy with a big chin .. yes I agree flags are a good idea .. so when you read our profile n it reads a it does .. thats experience!! ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about a flag for time wasters on their profile like the verification, gold or silver flag.
This would be good ??
We've just put a Red Flag on your profile to let everyone know you're time wasters.
Winston "
And I've blocked you  |
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"Over the years we've been stood up 20+ times .. in with that we've booked n paid for 6 hotels ..travelled to Angel of North from Leeds .. no show .. one stunning 24/25 year female turned out to be a 50 year old guy with a big chin .. yes I agree flags are a good idea .. so when you read our profile n it reads a it does .. thats experience!! ... "
You should maybe change the way you do your searching and vetting of meets if youve had that many. Ive been on this site off and on for 13 years and never had a no show |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
Well said, it’s like taking the trash out, there’s so much of it lying around on the site now, it’s hard to spot the real swingers. |
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"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. or to review television programmes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
There you go, I have fixed it for you  #greenarrow |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
" .. one stunning 24/25 year female turned out to be a 50 year old guy with a big chin .. "
See....there's this thing called the Internet where you can have video chats with people. Apparently some new fangle dangled phone do this too.
Blind dates are all well and good but if you're finding yourself being let down, stood up and duped a lot there are some simple things that can be done to reduce the liklihood of that happening...
Just a though. 
A |
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By *aymicCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
"This is a swingers site for swingers.. not Facebook.. or dating.. or exchanging recipes.. so the easiest way.. after one year on and no meetings or any interactions. You should be barred and let the swingers meet genuine people.. sorry if this offends"
Good Idea get rid of pic collectors etc Bravo Well said |
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"How about a flag for time wasters on their profile like the verification, gold or silver flag.
This would be good ??"
This is suggested quite regularly but is clearly unworkable.
It's impossible to establish if a report of time wasting is genuine or malicious, and people have different interpretations of time wasting.
I think that sometimes people are so keen to meet, they dindo due diligence and miss red flags.
In almost 10 years on Fab we've never had a time waster or no show. Admittedly we mainly use clubs but all meets arranged via Fab have turned up.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We’ve been accused of being ‘timewasters’ due to finding out during chat we weren’t compatible. So anyone’s opinion on this subject is purely hearsay"
That's exactly right, chat is to see if you want to meet the other person/s and visa versa.
It's not time wasting to chat but decide against meeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about a flag for time wasters on their profile like the verification, gold or silver flag.
This would be good ??
This is suggested quite regularly but is clearly unworkable.
It's impossible to establish if a report of time wasting is genuine or malicious, and people have different interpretations of time wasting.
I think that sometimes people are so keen to meet, they dindo due diligence and miss red flags.
In almost 10 years on Fab we've never had a time waster or no show. Admittedly we mainly use clubs but all meets arranged via Fab have turned up.
Nita"
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