FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Trans men being incorrectly gendered
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"Seriously buddy, who cares about a label ." Actually, they have a point. This is very important to some people for a number of reasons. It really is not "just a label". | |||
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"Seriously buddy, who cares about a label ." 👍🤣🤣🤣 | |||
"Seriously buddy, who cares about a label ." Well, not you obviously. But how would feel if I insisted on calling you a girl? | |||
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"If you are transitioning, then you are moving from one state to another. That's what the word means. Therefore, a man who thinks that he is transitioning into a woman, is still a man. I don't need the supreme court to tell me that. " Who is talking about trans women here? Not me certainly. | |||
"If you are transitioning, then you are moving from one state to another. That's what the word means. Therefore, a man who thinks that he is transitioning into a woman, is still a man. I don't need the supreme court to tell me that. Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Who is talking about trans women here? Not me certainly." | |||
" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing " Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur. | |||
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"Seriously buddy, who cares about a label ." Exactly | |||
" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur." I'm really confused. I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself. | |||
"I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself." Is this Liz or Paul speaking? | |||
"I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself. Is this Liz or Paul speaking? " I'll give you 2 guesses. | |||
" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur. I'm really confused. I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself." You don't. You would only need to do it when it's ambiguous. For example, you were posting online in a trans discussion group. It isn't that hard to figure out. The problem is, I believe, that ghere are some genuine people out there who are born in the wrong physical body, and these people should not be ostracised. Or made fun of. | |||
" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur. I'm really confused. I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself. You don't. You would only need to do it when it's ambiguous. For example, you were posting online in a trans discussion group. It isn't that hard to figure out. The problem is, I believe, that ghere are some genuine people out there who are born in the wrong physical body, and these people should not be ostracised. Or made fun of. " I see. Never actually posted on a trans group, probably never will but if I did you are saying I would put something like "hi, I'm Paul, a man cis" . I've never made fun of anyone, at least not since a teenager, hopefully matured since then. Do find it difficult to ask questions on these issues apart from a cross dresser, transvestite or whatever the word is for a guy who dresses in woman's clothing. Met in Bude 4 bar, Gran Canaria. Discovered we lived quite close and he was happy to answer all my questions, he was engaging, funny, generous with his time and often answered with "fuck knows, it even confuses me". | |||
" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur. I'm really confused. I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself. You don't. You would only need to do it when it's ambiguous. For example, you were posting online in a trans discussion group. It isn't that hard to figure out. The problem is, I believe, that ghere are some genuine people out there who are born in the wrong physical body, and these people should not be ostracised. Or made fun of. I see. Never actually posted on a trans group, probably never will but if I did you are saying I would put something like "hi, I'm Paul, a man cis" . I've never made fun of anyone, at least not since a teenager, hopefully matured since then. Do find it difficult to ask questions on these issues apart from a cross dresser, transvestite or whatever the word is for a guy who dresses in woman's clothing. Met in Bude 4 bar, Gran Canaria. Discovered we lived quite close and he was happy to answer all my questions, he was engaging, funny, generous with his time and often answered with "fuck knows, it even confuses me". " Probably depends on the conversation even then. I wouldn't put cis unless the conversation requires it tbh. I truly think most trans are happy to just be accepted. I believe there are very few that are militant about being transparent and will pounce on any genuine mistake by well-meaning people as well as very few more nefarious types. On the whole, though, I think most would be more than willing to engage in discussion. Someone who describes themselves as a CD is very different from someone describing themselves as trans though. | |||
" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur. I'm really confused. I'm a man, I was born a man, I identify as a man ,why would I use the word cis, what does his mean, why do I need anything other than the word man to describe myself. You don't. You would only need to do it when it's ambiguous. For example, you were posting online in a trans discussion group. It isn't that hard to figure out. The problem is, I believe, that ghere are some genuine people out there who are born in the wrong physical body, and these people should not be ostracised. Or made fun of. I see. Never actually posted on a trans group, probably never will but if I did you are saying I would put something like "hi, I'm Paul, a man cis" . I've never made fun of anyone, at least not since a teenager, hopefully matured since then. Do find it difficult to ask questions on these issues apart from a cross dresser, transvestite or whatever the word is for a guy who dresses in woman's clothing. Met in Bude 4 bar, Gran Canaria. Discovered we lived quite close and he was happy to answer all my questions, he was engaging, funny, generous with his time and often answered with "fuck knows, it even confuses me". Probably depends on the conversation even then. I wouldn't put cis unless the conversation requires it tbh. I truly think most trans are happy to just be accepted. I believe there are very few that are militant about being transparent and will pounce on any genuine mistake by well-meaning people as well as very few more nefarious types. On the whole, though, I think most would be more than willing to engage in discussion. Someone who describes themselves as a CD is very different from someone describing themselves as trans though." True, he said he really didn't understand the whole trans thing and in my ignorance when I asked "is it OK if I said the word tranny" he burst out laughing, said you can call me by my name too but yes I am a tranny and for your next question, no I'm not gay, I'm straight, married, my lovely wife knows I'm here, I come once or twice a year and no I don't dress outside these holidays. He was more interested in how we got into swinging, swingers parties and places like Cap D'Agde. One of the best, funniest nights we had. | |||
"If they think it's a slur then it's a slur. Isn't that how it works these days? You choose to be offended by someone and the person who offends you is in trouble, even if they are just stating legal, biological and common sense facts. " You're very close to making sense there, be prepared to be cancelled😂 | |||
"If they think it's a slur then it's a slur. Isn't that how it works these days? You choose to be offended by someone and the person who offends you is in trouble, even if they are just stating legal, biological and common sense facts. You're very close to making sense there, be prepared to be cancelled😂" But with the caveat. Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right. | |||
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"So I had a suggestion made via DM to me. Given some people really don't like singular they being used for them, why not tweak the messages so they don't use pronouns at all, merely reference the relevant username?" why should the rest of us go without just so we don't upset a chosen few? | |||
" You're very close to making sense there, be prepared to be cancelled😂" ________________________________________ Thankfully we don't live in Trump's America x | |||
"I'm seeing feed updates for trans guys (FtM) who have listed as TV/TS getting shown as "she has recieved a verification" and so forth. I understand that there is no chance of separating TV and TS as categories, but could the site at least use neutral pronouns to avoid this? This happens of FabGuys as well by the way." Forgive me for sounding rude, but can't they speak up for themselves if they are that bothered, have you been nominated their spokesperson?? Because this is something that really gets my goat when people think they know what others are offended by and take it on themselves to stand up for them. Have you transitioned yourself hence the interest? If so fair enough. | |||
"I'm seeing feed updates for trans guys (FtM) who have listed as TV/TS getting shown as "she has recieved a verification" and so forth. I understand that there is no chance of separating TV and TS as categories, but could the site at least use neutral pronouns to avoid this? This happens of FabGuys as well by the way. Forgive me for sounding rude, but can't they speak up for themselves if they are that bothered, have you been nominated their spokesperson?? Because this is something that really gets my goat when people think they know what others are offended by and take it on themselves to stand up for them. Have you transitioned yourself hence the interest? If so fair enough. " Well said. virtue signalling, springs to mind. | |||
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"I’m a man but identify as a slut " I thought I was the only one 🤣 | |||
"Seriously buddy, who cares about a label ." Well said far too many labels as it is if blokes want to wear a dress why have a label just put on profile they like to dress in female clothing but saying that as it is just another item of clothing that society seems a dress as gender specific. Needs to be simple males are born with willy females with vagina, why then all the problems with oh blue for a boy pink for girl. Get back as I say to simplifying things. We have currently TV,Cd,Tranvestite,Cross Dresser, the list goes on in part this labelling has got out of hand resulting in serious issues where a male because he likes to dress in a frock identifies as female the male is still a male same with females who dress what society says are for males. People born as either male or female should only compete in own sports for example. Then if male goes through the what must be hard to deal to physically with not having male parts but ultimately born a male is how they were born and to then say they are not longer male that is a misconception a male who is saying effeminate does or should not make him any less of a male, society's lack of ability and common sense because they may talk with a softer tone than a generalised male should never be looked upon and labelled as different. Apologies for rant. | |||
" Probably depends on the conversation even then. I wouldn't put cis unless the conversation requires it tbh. I truly think most trans are happy to just be accepted. I believe there are very few that are militant about being transparent and will pounce on any genuine mistake by well-meaning people as well as very few more nefarious types. On the whole, though, I think most would be more than willing to engage in discussion. Someone who describes themselves as a CD is very different from someone describing themselves as trans though." I am what is generally described as a trans-woman. I would love to be a real woman and although my state of health has delayed it I hope eventually to be physically altered to resemble a real woman. I ‘live as a woman’ all the time (I wear women’s clothes etc. all the time not as a sexual fetish or as an occasional cross-dresser). I personally detest the use of a ‘cis-‘ prefix and find it offensive to women to describe them as ‘cis-women’. I don’t think that even when physically altered I can be a biological woman, but a better imitation one and I hope to some extent an honorary woman, as most women have been kind enough to treat me anyhow. I don’t have any normal male sexual urges and only take a female role sexually. I am happy to be accepted, particularly by women, as I am. I don’t demand any ‘rights’ or see any need to do so. I am most uncomfortable in the company of the trans-activist types. I prefer to be referred to as a woman and she, her, etc., but I don’t get offended if I am not as I am confident and comfortable as I am and don’t think that I have the right to tell others what they should say or think and I feel no need to do so, any more than I think that they have the right to tell me what to think or do. If people are trying to offend me by referring to me as a man (rather than an honorary woman) I don’t give them the satisfaction of complaining or reacting in any way, and if they feel that they have to as a matter of principle I respect that. If people just forget or don’t know what to say I understand that and I wouldn’t want to embarrass them by ‘correcting’ them. Generally I have found the great majority of people, particularly women, have been very kind and accepting of me as I am now; in fact most women have been touchingly welcoming. I may be lucky in terms of where I live and socialise but I don’t go around feeling like or behaving like a ‘victim’, just being myself, without needing to draw attention to myself by making demands or complaining, and I am quite happy to answer questions from anyone who wants to understand me. | |||
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" Probably depends on the conversation even then. I wouldn't put cis unless the conversation requires it tbh. I truly think most trans are happy to just be accepted. I believe there are very few that are militant about being transparent and will pounce on any genuine mistake by well-meaning people as well as very few more nefarious types. On the whole, though, I think most would be more than willing to engage in discussion. Someone who describes themselves as a CD is very different from someone describing themselves as trans though. I am what is generally described as a trans-woman. I would love to be a real woman and although my state of health has delayed it I hope eventually to be physically altered to resemble a real woman. I ‘live as a woman’ all the time (I wear women’s clothes etc. all the time not as a sexual fetish or as an occasional cross-dresser). I personally detest the use of a ‘cis-‘ prefix and find it offensive to women to describe them as ‘cis-women’. I don’t think that even when physically altered I can be a biological woman, but a better imitation one and I hope to some extent an honorary woman, as most women have been kind enough to treat me anyhow. I don’t have any normal male sexual urges and only take a female role sexually. I am happy to be accepted, particularly by women, as I am. I don’t demand any ‘rights’ or see any need to do so. I am most uncomfortable in the company of the trans-activist types. I prefer to be referred to as a woman and she, her, etc., but I don’t get offended if I am not as I am confident and comfortable as I am and don’t think that I have the right to tell others what they should say or think and I feel no need to do so, any more than I think that they have the right to tell me what to think or do. If people are trying to offend me by referring to me as a man (rather than an honorary woman) I don’t give them the satisfaction of complaining or reacting in any way, and if they feel that they have to as a matter of principle I respect that. If people just forget or don’t know what to say I understand that and I wouldn’t want to embarrass them by ‘correcting’ them. Generally I have found the great majority of people, particularly women, have been very kind and accepting of me as I am now; in fact most women have been touchingly welcoming. I may be lucky in terms of where I live and socialise but I don’t go around feeling like or behaving like a ‘victim’, just being myself, without needing to draw attention to myself by making demands or complaining, and I am quite happy to answer questions from anyone who wants to understand me. " What a breath of fresh air you are. Wonderfully written with honest, open thoughts, such a change from the usual. Wish you best of luck in all your journey. | |||
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" Is a trans woman - male to female Trans man - female to male. Very confusing Yes, that is what the terms mean. A person who is the same gender as assigned at birth would be cis as opposed to trans. That's usually assumed though so a lot of people aren't familiar with the term and the Gender Critical crowd whine, incorrectly, about it being a slur." What a lovely guy you are... So if someone misgenders someone who is trans thats awful, enough so that you as a non trans will stick up for this principle. Yet a man or woman, who doesn't like the ridiculous, redundant, useless term 'cis' is just 'whining' according to you, incorrectly believing it to be a slur apparently. Can I ask you a question? Can you not see the double standards you are peddling here. Its very obvious and its part of tge reason that this issue is so divisive. One side demands respect yet refuses to acknowledge, or give, it to the other. I'll let you decide which side is which. Irony anyone? Mrs x | |||
"Too much political correctness going on in the world today and not enough common sense " Amen to that | |||
"Well said and very sensible. Trans should be short for transvestite, like it used to be. " There are multiple words starting with the prefix trans, which can help with transparency of the speakers' meanings. Trans wasn't exclusively used for just transvestite, unless someone had a very limited vocabulary, with probably over 1,000 words starting with trans. | |||
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"Well said and very sensible. Trans should be short for transvestite, like it used to be. There are multiple words starting with the prefix trans, which can help with transparency of the speakers' meanings. Trans wasn't exclusively used for just transvestite, unless someone had a very limited vocabulary, with probably over 1,000 words starting with trans. " Trans is a perfectly correct prefix. It describes accurately as person who has, or is on their journey of, transitioning to their preferred identity. Mrs x | |||
"Too much political correctness going on in the world today and not enough common sense " --------------------------------------------------------- That's soooo Nineties-apologies for being overly PC, Woke, Do Gooder Brigade. The world is currently going to hell...there's actually not enough political correctness, assuming that includes being kind and respectful to everyone particularly if they're people who dont look like you (unless they're grown up versions of the school bully) | |||
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"Too much political correctness going on in the world today and not enough common sense " Well, yes and no. Most of what is now called political correctness is just old-fashioned good manners. If you know that someone will find something personally hurtful, then you don't say it. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. It doesn't matter whether they're being reasonable or not. So treat people with respect, and if someone wants to be called "she" then call them "she". It's good manners. But where it goes too far is the attempt to enshrine it in law, or enforce it by mob justice. If free speech means anything, then it's the right to prove beyond any shadow of doubt what a complete prick you are. So people have a right to mis-gender you. And you have a right to decide they're ill-mannered biggots for doing so. | |||
"I came here looking for this...I don't really have any kink for travesties, however, I end up having to see a ton of them because they are in the same category as trans people... And that's annoying as hell. How hard would it be to have a category for trans FTM, one for trans MTF and another for Travesties? Common sense is dead. " I totally agree. | |||
"I came here looking for this...I don't really have any kink for travesties, however, I end up having to see a ton of them because they are in the same category as trans people... And that's annoying as hell. How hard would it be to have a category for trans FTM, one for trans MTF and another for Travesties? Common sense is dead. " Your profile says you don't have any kink for ts women either so why does it bother you? | |||
"I came here looking for this...I don't really have any kink for travesties, however, I end up having to see a ton of them because they are in the same category as trans people... And that's annoying as hell. How hard would it be to have a category for trans FTM, one for trans MTF and another for Travesties? Common sense is dead. I totally agree." But you had a cam fun with a Tv!?? | |||
"I came here looking for this...I don't really have any kink for travesties, however, I end up having to see a ton of them because they are in the same category as trans people... And that's annoying as hell. How hard would it be to have a category for trans FTM, one for trans MTF and another for Travesties? Common sense is dead. Your profile says you don't have any kink for ts women either so why does it bother you?" Because I switched it off....there was no point, so I did what anyone else would do. | |||
"I came here looking for this...I don't really have any kink for travesties, however, I end up having to see a ton of them because they are in the same category as trans people... And that's annoying as hell. How hard would it be to have a category for trans FTM, one for trans MTF and another for Travesties? Common sense is dead. I totally agree. But you had a cam fun with a Tv!??" You know that your preferences impact the people that appear on the updates right? | |||
"Too much political correctness going on in the world today and not enough common sense Well, yes and no. Most of what is now called political correctness is just old-fashioned good manners. If you know that someone will find something personally hurtful, then you don't say it. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. It doesn't matter whether they're being reasonable or not. So treat people with respect, and if someone wants to be called "she" then call them "she". It's good manners. But where it goes too far is the attempt to enshrine it in law, or enforce it by mob justice. If free speech means anything, then it's the right to prove beyond any shadow of doubt what a complete prick you are. So people have a right to mis-gender you. And you have a right to decide they're ill-mannered biggots for doing so. " Well said. | |||
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"If you have a penis your male .if you have a vagina your female its so easy its been going on since Adam and eve" In terms of sex, that is correct. But gender is a whole other issue. Genuine question: can we not separate TV and TS into separate groups on Fab? To my mind, there is a world of difference between the two. | |||
"If you have a penis your male .if you have a vagina your female its so easy its been going on since Adam and eve In terms of sex, that is correct. But gender is a whole other issue. Genuine question: can we not separate TV and TS into separate groups on Fab? To my mind, there is a world of difference between the two." And there's a difference between straight and bi-curious/sexual for a fully straight woman but lot of you guys cosplay as a fully straight person to don't get rejected | |||
"I came here looking for this...I don't really have any kink for travesties, however, I end up having to see a ton of them because they are in the same category as trans people... And that's annoying as hell. How hard would it be to have a category for trans FTM, one for trans MTF and another for Travesties? Common sense is dead. I totally agree. But you had a cam fun with a Tv!??" Not sure what that has to do with me agreeing to change fabs category for TV, TS, and other trans community ect.... Please enlighten me. | |||
"If they think it's a slur then it's a slur. Isn't that how it works these days? You choose to be offended by someone and the person who offends you is in trouble, even if they are just stating legal, biological and common sense facts. " I understand that being called 'cis' might feel uncomfortable or even insulting if it’s a term you didn't choose for yourself. However, it’s helpful to know that within the trans community, the word isn't intended as a slur or a derogatory remark. ?In linguistics, it's simply a neutral descriptor—the Latin opposite of 'trans'—used to discuss gender identity without implying that one group is the 'correct' default and the other is 'abnormal.' While some people may use it with a frustrated tone, it lacks the history of systemic harm that defines a slur. The goal of the term is usually just clarity and mutual respect in conversation. Personally it seems that those who complain about cis being a slur are the very people who want to enforce trans being seen as lesser and often want to see them forced into living as their assigned at birth sex or indeed would be quiet happy with them simply not living. | |||
"Personally it seems that those who complain about cis being a slur are the very people who want to enforce trans being seen as lesser and often want to see them forced into living as their assigned at birth sex or indeed would be quiet happy with them simply not living." Okay I am having people send me persona messages questioning my position in the last paragraph of my previous post, so I will explain further why I said this is often linked to trans eliminationists. This is because I see it absolutely ever day on my social media feeds and including from people who have made direct threats against me. I have also had it shouted at me on the streets in the UK so to me this does feel a very common attitude in the UK at the moment. | |||
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"I'm seeing feed updates for trans guys (FtM) who have listed as TV/TS getting shown as "she has recieved a verification" and so forth. I understand that there is no chance of separating TV and TS as categories, but could the site at least use neutral pronouns to avoid this? This happens of FabGuys as well by the way." I thinks there's a fair point here and I don't really see how this thread has got so complicated or off an a wild tangent? It just seems to me a perfectly logical idea to use gender neutral terms for a category that may have people in who do not identity as female (or indeed a specific gender). I honestly don't understand how this conversation has go so out of hand? Mr | |||
"I'm seeing feed updates for trans guys (FtM) who have listed as TV/TS getting shown as "she has recieved a verification" and so forth. I understand that there is no chance of separating TV and TS as categories, but could the site at least use neutral pronouns to avoid this? This happens of FabGuys as well by the way. I thinks there's a fair point here and I don't really see how this thread has got so complicated or off an a wild tangent? It just seems to me a perfectly logical idea to use gender neutral terms for a category that may have people in who do not identity as female (or indeed a specific gender). I honestly don't understand how this conversation has go so out of hand? Mr" Yeah what’s wrong with using “they” or “them”, it’s not hurting anyone or forcing anyone to use a new acronym, it’s just good old fashioned English | |||
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"It would be easy to separate the TV, and trans. To make a distinction. " And then separate the trans to pre-op, post-op, non-op... ect? Even gays can't follow this, why do we think "straight " men could? | |||