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🏳️🌈Better Outlined Gender identity choices🏳️🌈
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So over the years ive thought fab should have a better outline in terms of gender identity against all our profiles specifically for the Trans community as the word "Transgender" is such a massive umbrella Term these days.
🏳️🌈Please keep the chat respectful and please voice your own thoughts and opinions🏳️🌈
As it stands there is only a TV/TS option which i do believe needs to be seperated as some people prefer TV's and some Seek TS's. There is a distinctive difference between the two.
With myself being a Trans women i dont like having TV as part of my proifile at all. it would also help Men, women, couples, TV's and TS's distictively search for what they ideally want.
TV should be reserved for those who enjoy the idea of dressing and getting intimate or social as their femme self. Where TS is more about a person who is medically transitioning and the identity is not based on sexual/social satisfaction.
Also adding a option for couples where it is not just M-F,M-M,F-F we should have...
M-TS, M-TV, TV-TV, TS-TS, F-TV, F-TS
I believe this would have a huge benifit to everyone in terms of what they are searching for and overall help the site become a much better site.
I look forward to hearing others opinions whether you agree or disagree
Happy fabbing People
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By (user no longer on site) 6 weeks ago
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QUOTE;
'not just M-F,M-M,F-F we should have...
M-TS, M-TV, TV-TV, TS-TS, F-TV, F-TS"
THIS, is exactly why Fab shouldn't, hasn't, won't change for the mind numbing, tedious, self centred GENDER BORES
Op just explain what you think you are on your profile and stop trying to foist very unpopular ideology (eg labelling 99% 'cis' )
On everyone ..
People are sick of it.
Get a life.
|
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
[Removed by poster at 08/03/26 16:08:20] |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"
THIS, is exactly why Fab shouldn't, hasn't, won't change for the mind numbing, tedious, self centred GENDER BORES
Op just explain what you think you are on your profile and stop trying to foist very unpopular ideology (eg labelling 99% 'cis' )
On everyone ..
People are sick of it.
Get a life.
"
Think it through for a second, don't react according to your condotioning and you'll see this as a great way to avoid people you obviously don't like.
And why is having TV/TS options for couples making you react like this?
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
I certainly think that we would have a CD/TV option and a separate one for TS. |
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I've been saying this long before I even realised I was actually trans and never understood the idea of why is was grouped into the same option. Even now, you only have 3 options for couples. MM, MF and FF. Couples can come in many forms.
A prime example of why this is a worthy change is this. It's quite frustrating when I get messages off people saying "I'd love to see you dressed". Whilst I don't really get 'offended' by what people say it just sums up that people clearly just assume we are all the same type of person (and also because too many users, mainly guys, simply don't read profiles)
People have a right to be identified correctly, and especially more so in this scene where you should expect people to be a little bit more clued up about this subject.
But this is just another reason why I now refuse to pay a penny more towards supporting this site. They don't offer personalised help to site supporters (still just copy and paste messages) and the lack of updates to the site as time has gone by is extremely poor by any standard! |
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To me though a TV or CD is the exact same identity i just find CD more respectful way of explaining things for those individuals  |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"QUOTE;
'not just M-F,M-M,F-F we should have...
M-TS, M-TV, TV-TV, TS-TS, F-TV, F-TS"
THIS, is exactly why Fab shouldn't, hasn't, won't change for the mind numbing, tedious, self centred GENDER BORES
Op just explain what you think you are on your profile and stop trying to foist very unpopular ideology (eg labelling 99% 'cis' )
On everyone ..
People are sick of it.
Get a life.
"
Don't say people,you don't represent people
State it's your opinion
You certainly don't represent me |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"So over the years ive thought fab should have a better outline in terms of gender identity against all our profiles specifically for the Trans community as the word "Transgender" is such a massive umbrella Term these days.
🏳️🌈Please keep the chat respectful and please voice your own thoughts and opinions🏳️🌈
As it stands there is only a TV/TS option which i do believe needs to be seperated as some people prefer TV's and some Seek TS's. There is a distinctive difference between the two.
With myself being a Trans women i dont like having TV as part of my proifile at all. it would also help Men, women, couples, TV's and TS's distictively search for what they ideally want.
TV should be reserved for those who enjoy the idea of dressing and getting intimate or social as their femme self. Where TS is more about a person who is medically transitioning and the identity is not based on sexual/social satisfaction.
Also adding a option for couples where it is not just M-F,M-M,F-F we should have...
M-TS, M-TV, TV-TV, TS-TS, F-TV, F-TS
I believe this would have a huge benifit to everyone in terms of what they are searching for and overall help the site become a much better site.
I look forward to hearing others opinions whether you agree or disagree
Happy fabbing People
"
yes definitely agree with ts should be separate from TV or cd I love playing with a ts but have no real interest in a TV or cd |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
It's perfectly acceptable for a site like this to target a core customer base, and not to put any effort into adding features for people who aren't in that target audience.
It's also perfectly acceptable for people who don't find the site is adequate for their needs to go elsewhere. |
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Totally agree no one needs to know what’s in your head if your a cat penguin or a lampshade |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"I've been saying this long before I even realised I was actually trans and never understood the idea of why is was grouped into the same option. Even now, you only have 3 options for couples. MM, MF and FF. Couples can come in many forms.
A prime example of why this is a worthy change is this. It's quite frustrating when I get messages off people saying "I'd love to see you dressed". Whilst I don't really get 'offended' by what people say it just sums up that people clearly just assume we are all the same type of person (and also because too many users, mainly guys, simply don't read profiles)
People have a right to be identified correctly, and especially more so in this scene where you should expect people to be a little bit more clued up about this subject.
But this is just another reason why I now refuse to pay a penny more towards supporting this site. They don't offer personalised help to site supporters (still just copy and paste messages) and the lack of updates to the site as time has gone by is extremely poor by any standard!"
I have read the comments on this and I fully agree in that there is NO reason to change fab in this respect.
My view is the world has gone crazy, too many labels as it is.
If someone feels for whatever reason they feel like they are for example Transvestite the good for them but feeling like they are female does not make them a woman.
This is where the world and based on this thread some are trying to make fab to be out of sync with reality.
To best of my knowledge various labels like tv,cd,ts should be ignored because if a chap for example likes to wear a frock then that is individual choice but labels are put on them.
To me let folk dress how they wish things like this complicates a simple issue by labelling.
Far too many get their knickers in a twist.
A bloke in a dress for example is still a male, same as if a woman what society deems male attire still means she is female in the attire they choose.
Do not expect others to agree or disagree just keep it basic and simple.
People are dying currently in a war and folk need a reality check on what is a real problem.
Not what folk wish to wear |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"It's perfectly acceptable for a site like this to target a core customer base, and not to put any effort into adding features for people who aren't in that target audience.
It's also perfectly acceptable for people who don't find the site is adequate for their needs to go elsewhere. "
Their customer base is EVERYONE that uses this site. A site that almost 'forces' you to become a paid member to make the most of it. If the admin/owners don't want criticism then I suggest they start listening to their members.
And they absolutely SHOULD start adding features. If they are expecting to take peoples money they they should also start moving with the times! For me the site has outlived it's purpose because they refuse to make an effort to keep people here. That, and that fact people are too bone idle lazy to read profiles because they just assume that people are here "just for sex". |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"I've been saying this long before I even realised I was actually trans and never understood the idea of why is was grouped into the same option. Even now, you only have 3 options for couples. MM, MF and FF. Couples can come in many forms.
A prime example of why this is a worthy change is this. It's quite frustrating when I get messages off people saying "I'd love to see you dressed". Whilst I don't really get 'offended' by what people say it just sums up that people clearly just assume we are all the same type of person (and also because too many users, mainly guys, simply don't read profiles)
People have a right to be identified correctly, and especially more so in this scene where you should expect people to be a little bit more clued up about this subject.
But this is just another reason why I now refuse to pay a penny more towards supporting this site. They don't offer personalised help to site supporters (still just copy and paste messages) and the lack of updates to the site as time has gone by is extremely poor by any standard!
I have read the comments on this and I fully agree in that there is NO reason to change fab in this respect.
My view is the world has gone crazy, too many labels as it is.
If someone feels for whatever reason they feel like they are for example Transvestite the good for them but feeling like they are female does not make them a woman.
This is where the world and based on this thread some are trying to make fab to be out of sync with reality.
To best of my knowledge various labels like tv,cd,ts should be ignored because if a chap for example likes to wear a frock then that is individual choice but labels are put on them.
To me let folk dress how they wish things like this complicates a simple issue by labelling.
Far too many get their knickers in a twist.
A bloke in a dress for example is still a male, same as if a woman what society deems male attire still means she is female in the attire they choose.
Do not expect others to agree or disagree just keep it basic and simple.
People are dying currently in a war and folk need a reality check on what is a real problem.
Not what folk wish to wear "
Absolutely their a lot of labels out there and I don't expect Fab to list every single option, BUT a male crossdresser is NOT a trans women and a female crossdresser is not a trans man. People deserve to have a clearer identity to who they are.
This is just the very start of things that need changing with this site. |
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ABSOLUTELY! Fab is far from inclusive, one thing they definitely need to do is increase gender diversity options. Other sites manage it and are very successful |
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Listen hunny im more than a cock in a frock. Im most certainly not a man nor a Transvestite. Im a Trans-women, maybe not a biological women so maybe instead of TS we need TW (Trans-women) and TM (Trans-man) I know lots of other sites that include this and they thrive.
Quite clearly fabs target market group includes the Trans community so we deserve to not be put in a box that we dont fit  |
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By *ugby 123Couple 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
People are dying currently in a war and folk need a reality check on what is a real problem.
Not what folk wish to wear
"
I can think / talk about something that may affect me ( this subject doesn't ) and think of what is going on in the world too. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 6 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Can I just remind people to be civil if you are going to comment. |
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"I certainly think that we would have a CD/TV option and a separate one for TS."
I agree. I think that the other options suggested are unnecessary, excessively complicated, and rarely likely to be used. |
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"To me though a TV or CD is the exact same identity i just find CD more respectful way of explaining things for those individuals "
Exactly; they mean the same thing although some people may interpret them differently or prefer one or the other. |
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This is a swinging sit, not a social media site. Gender is pretty irrelevant. That’s why you choose your sex on here, not your gender.
If would be better if they removed TV/TS and just put MtF and FtM instead with an option for post-op or pre-op. Crossdressing could then just be a separate, optional box to check.
The biggest problem on here regarding this is that, despite it being against the rules, transsexuals just choose female or male on here without any repercussions. |
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In all fairness fab may be a swinging site its also a social media site for swingers to meet and find what they are looking for so Gender is relevant. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"QUOTE;
'not just M-F,M-M,F-F we should have...
M-TS, M-TV, TV-TV, TS-TS, F-TV, F-TS"
THIS, is exactly why Fab shouldn't, hasn't, won't change for the mind numbing, tedious, self centred GENDER BORES
Op just explain what you think you are on your profile and stop trying to foist very unpopular ideology (eg labelling 99% 'cis' )
On everyone ..
People are sick of it.
Get a life.
"
What an awful thing to say. 👎 |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"This is a swinging sit, not a social media site. Gender is pretty irrelevant. That’s why you choose your sex on here, not your gender.
If would be better if they removed TV/TS and just put MtF and FtM instead with an option for post-op or pre-op. Crossdressing could then just be a separate, optional box to check.
The biggest problem on here regarding this is that, despite it being against the rules, transsexuals just choose female or male on here without any repercussions."
Yes it’s a swinging aite but you realise that swinging isn’t all about the sex right? People use these sites to help meet other people to social and learn about others.
Transsexuals just choose male or female without repercussions? In all my time on here I have very rarely seen that happen. If the person has completely transitioned and had a sex change and wants to be called a woman that’s fine however they should still make others aware. That’s not really the issue. The issue lies with some crossdressers that call themselves transgender.
And lastly, what do you mean people choose their sex on here, not their gender? |
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I can see what op means.
Men who crossdress without attempting to look female aren't TV or TS.
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Perhaps removing all the I identify as boxes totally. Folks could then explain in their bio what their likes and dislikes are. I know I dislike being categorised as bi as it's much more complex than that but another option doesn't exist. So for simplicity's sake remove the boxes. 
Playing devil's advocate  |
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"Perhaps removing all the I identify as boxes totally. Folks could then explain in their bio what their likes and dislikes are. I know I dislike being categorised as bi as it's much more complex than that but another option doesn't exist. So for simplicity's sake remove the boxes.
Playing devil's advocate "
People don't read bio's at the best of time so you'll end up with even more usless messages if the categories aren't there haha x |
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[Removed by poster at 27/03/26 15:38:59] |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"Perhaps removing all the I identify as boxes totally. Folks could then explain in their bio what their likes and dislikes are. I know I dislike being categorised as bi as it's much more complex than that but another option doesn't exist. So for simplicity's sake remove the boxes.
Playing devil's advocate
People don't read bio's at the best of time so you'll end up with even more usless messages if the categories aren't there haha x"
Sadly all too true! |
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I'm not exactly the most modern person when it comes to all this, but I actually wholeheartedly agree.
The most obvious confusion is when someone is listed as both TV/TS and also gay or straight (with bi it doesn't really matter)
Is that a person who identifies with their birth gender but dresses like the opposite, and so gay means same sex? Or a person who identifies as their new gender, in which case gay in a way actually means straight from a genitals perspective?
It's far too confusing as is and could use a revamp for everyone's convenience. |
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Just 1 thing I wanted to say... the term trangender isnt an 'umbrella' term. It literally means your transitioning from one gender to the other. Be it m to f or f to m. And doing the full transition.
Tv means transvestite and cd means cross dresser.
I mean maybe yea have a category for just ts. |
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"I'm not exactly the most modern person when it comes to all this, but I actually wholeheartedly agree.
The most obvious confusion is when someone is listed as both TV/TS and also gay or straight (with bi it doesn't really matter)
Is that a person who identifies with their birth gender but dresses like the opposite, and so gay means same sex? Or a person who identifies as their new gender, in which case gay in a way actually means straight from a genitals perspective?
It's far too confusing as is and could use a revamp for everyone's convenience. "
It is indeed confusing and the terminology is itself confused.
I would say that I am transsexual, in that I would like to be a woman (which I know is biologically impossible, even after surgical and other alterations. I hope to be physically emasculated and feminised but the waiting list is very long.
Being transgender (in my case male to female, transsexual awaiting transformation) I myself get confused by what people mean by what people mean by what.
If as a transsexual I have sex with men in a receptive/feminine way only am I heterosexual or homosexual, and is that changed by my current physical condition?
As it is I would have sex with women (although not in a penetrative, masculine way) so would that be heterosexual or pseudo-lesbian?
I list myself as bisexual which I think covers my situation whatever anyone else thinks! |
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"Just 1 thing I wanted to say... the term trangender isnt an 'umbrella' term. It literally means your transitioning from one gender to the other. Be it m to f or f to m. And doing the full transition.
Tv means transvestite and cd means cross dresser.
I mean maybe yea have a category for just ts."
You are sort of right of course but transgender covers a wide range of people and doesn’t necessarily (or even usually these days) mean that you have been or intend to be physically altered), which is usually what people mean by transsexual, although not always and not everyone who is actually uses that term, many simply using transgender which has become confusingly vague in its application.
I get confused by what people mean myself! |
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I agree there should be a definition. I've always felt the term TV could be damaging to someone in gender dysphoria |
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Think the OP is taking it too far, but definitley feel that the sex box should be changed.
Maybe M, F, MTF, FTM, CD and TV as someone else said.
But i wouldnt go as far as changing MF,MMF etv to include about 300 different variations.
Though i think it would be handy if the trans people explained whst they are, eg MTF who likes M or whatever. |
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You could not have said this any better i fully agree that Transgender is not a umbrella term it has been hijacked to be one.
Being transgender is and should be only used for those who are medically transitioning MTF or FTM yes we have allies who are similar to us i respect all other identity's all im saying in my post is TV needs splitting from TS |
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By *oufouCouple 4 weeks ago
Somerset |
"Being transgender is and should be only used for those who are medically transitioning MTF or FTM yes we have allies who are similar to us i respect all other identity's…. "
I agree that TS and TV are distinct categories that (like many others) sometimes overlap, but even then they predicate a binary world view.
What about individuals who are biologically intersex? How are they represented here? Surely ‘male’ and ‘female’ are just as much umbrella terms as ‘transgender’ when it comes to the nuances of human sexuality?
The problem is societal, and the limitations of this site reflect the broader issues. |
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It's all a bit niche don't you think? TV TS LGBTQ MM FFM YMCA.
I think this site is doing ok and what you're asking for is just catering for a small minority.
Personally I'd like it if I was the only straight dude on here but that ain't going to happen. |
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My transmasculine partner ended up just putting M in the end. The current set up meant people expected him to dress as a woman for meets, so neither he nor the people who reached out to him were finding what they wanted with the TV/TS label.
It's a bit harder for those who haven't had the lower surgeries. Pre surgery he was the exact opposite of what people seeking TVs were looking for.
I find it odd how many people scream about it being snowflake behaviour and how dare they want someone to accommodate differences. It's a site where both genitals and gender presentation are pretty relevant in terms of what people are looking for. You'd think they'd want the clarity of knowing whether someone is the standard gender they prefer rather than some of those 'others' who lean into the binary tags after their surgeries are complete.
I'd also be much more likely to engage with a couple that was flagged as at least in the 'other' category 💜 |
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I can't help feeling that what this thread shows is that we only need three answers to the gender question: female, male, and "it's complicated".
There are so many different categories beyond the simple female and male that we're never going to get something that everyone can agree on - it's a bit like the whole "bi-curious" mess.
And yes, the site may end up as not being the best one to use if your gender requirements are very specific, but that's ok. Not every site needs to cater to every user. |
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"I can't help feeling that what this thread shows is that we only need three answers to the gender question: female, male, and "it's complicated".
There are so many different categories beyond the simple female and male that we're never going to get something that everyone can agree on - it's a bit like the whole "bi-curious" mess.
And yes, the site may end up as not being the best one to use if your gender requirements are very specific, but that's ok. Not every site needs to cater to every user. "
I see what you mean, and I rather tend to agree!
The variations are innumerable and different terms mean different things to different people in any case. |
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This lifestyle is an inclusive one and if these changes allow people to live their lives with authenticity, then great. For what it's worth, I agree that the catch all term isn't accurate and could do with being updated.
I'm confused as to why there's an expectation though, that the site owners would commit development resource to fix an issue where three of the biggest supporters of change, refuse to pay £5 every £45 days to support the site?
You of course have the right choose the free option, but surely you can't demand change when you're technically not a paying customer. |
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Some revealing answers - tending to come from straight, single men. The ones likely to be least affected by the issue so while I can kind of understand the ‘why is this even an issue’ response, but not in some cases the complete lack of respect.
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Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"You of course have the right choose the free option, but surely you can't demand change when you're technically not a paying customer"
I think that's a little unfair - if you feel a site doesn't serve you very well, it's reasonable to not spend your money there. And it's reasonable to say what the site would have to do to get you to spend your money.
And it's reasonable for the site owners to decide whether they want to do that or not. |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"You of course have the right choose the free option, but surely you can't demand change when you're technically not a paying customer
I think that's a little unfair - if you feel a site doesn't serve you very well, it's reasonable to not spend your money there. And it's reasonable to say what the site would have to do to get you to spend your money.
And it's reasonable for the site owners to decide whether they want to do that or not. "
I agree it would be reasonable to state what it would take to get you to contribute.
This is what the OP said.
"i never have and never will pay for the added benifits"
I don't think im being unfair. |
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By *eemineWoman 4 weeks ago
Cardiff |
"So over the years ive thought fab should have a better outline in terms of gender identity against all our profiles specifically for the Trans community as the word "Transgender" is such a massive umbrella Term these days.
🏳️🌈Please keep the chat respectful and please voice your own thoughts and opinions🏳️🌈
As it stands there is only a TV/TS option which i do believe needs to be seperated as some people prefer TV's and some Seek TS's. There is a distinctive difference between the two.
With myself being a Trans women i dont like having TV as part of my proifile at all. it would also help Men, women, couples, TV's and TS's distictively search for what they ideally want.
TV should be reserved for those who enjoy the idea of dressing and getting intimate or social as their femme self. Where TS is more about a person who is medically transitioning and the identity is not based on sexual/social satisfaction.
Also adding a option for couples where it is not just M-F,M-M,F-F we should have...
M-TS, M-TV, TV-TV, TS-TS, F-TV, F-TS
I believe this would have a huge benifit to everyone in terms of what they are searching for and overall help the site become a much better site.
I look forward to hearing others opinions whether you agree or disagree
Happy fabbing People
"
reading this thread is depressing but you’re absolutely right. the current gender options lump all trans people together with cross dressers which is insane. there’s no option for trans men / non binary people. so many other platforms manage to have inclusive options there’s really no excuse for it in 2026 |
Reply privately (thread closed by moderator) | |
"This lifestyle is an inclusive one and if these changes allow people to live their lives with authenticity, then great. For what it's worth, I agree that the catch all term isn't accurate and could do with being updated.
I'm confused as to why there's an expectation though, that the site owners would commit development resource to fix an issue where three of the biggest supporters of change, refuse to pay £5 every £45 days to support the site?
You of course have the right choose the free option, but surely you can't demand change when you're technically not a paying customer. "
The owners have never made any effort to contribute changes or upgrades to the site. Nevermind move with the times. They don’t deserve any money until they start to improve things and they are forcing people to consider other options and don’t like it when people mention these to others in private messages where as other places allow you that freedom. |
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Im glad you agree all i really would like, like many trans girls is to be seperated from the TV tag when your clearly a TS |
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There is no right to freedom of speech on a forum like this. If you don't like the forum rules, then go somewhere else.
It seems difficult to believe that your friend was banned for her comments in this thread, as her comments are still there. |
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