FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Solution to Common Frustrations
Solution to Common Frustrations
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Seems to me a good many of frequently reported frustrations people have on Fab can be easily solved in one swoop.
Problems such as:
1. Women and couples receiving far too many messages to cope with.
2. Women and couples receiving messages from people who clearly haven't read their profile.
3. Men failing to turn up for arranged meets.
A lot of the issues above are caused in part by the common practice of net spreading. Men simply copy and paste a standard message to all women online without even looking at the profile, or just casting a basic glance and changing names etc to make it look good.
I propose a daily limit to single males introductory messages. Just affecting the first message to women and couples. If they use all messages on one person (without reply) they still add up.
This would force men to look at a profile first before messaging and to think before they send. As a knock on effect, women and couples would receive a much less burdensome message load, and the experience all round will be better. Men will hit a better reply rate as women will have more time to respond.
My proposal daily limits are:
3 message limit for newbies.
5 message limit over 7 days.
8 messages silver supporter.
15 messages gold supporter.
Those amounts are more than enough for people who actually read a profile and consider their opening message.
This will also help reduce the practice of frequently going unlos then re-registering. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A question OP....is it just for single men to be penalised? As we have had mails from women and couples in the past when our profile had said thats not who we were looking for"
Seems to me the largest problem comes from single male profiles. I don't allow non verified to message me so I would imagine your point is valid as far as female accounts go.
Having seen on my wife's profile multiple instances of the same copy and paste from the same accounts it's quite clear a large number of men do it. I'm not blaming them at all, if it works for them etc. For the points raised in the op I do think my proposal has merit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A question OP....is it just for single men to be penalised? As we have had mails from women and couples in the past when our profile had said thats not who we were looking for
Seems to me the largest problem comes from single male profiles. I don't allow non verified to message me so I would imagine your point is valid as far as female accounts go.
Having seen on my wife's profile multiple instances of the same copy and paste from the same accounts it's quite clear a large number of men do it. I'm not blaming them at all, if it works for them etc. For the points raised in the op I do think my proposal has merit. "
I'm quite happy with the way it is, thank you. I am more than capable of deleting messages that are of no interest. I'm technically sophisticated, you know, and can operate the "delete" button without reference to a manual. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There clearly are problems. Spend half an hour on almost any forum topic and you will find reference to women receiving too many messages and from people who haven't read their profile. I offer a potential solution. You know, trying to be a positive member of the site. Apparently that is just cause for a sarcastic comment for you. Well it's a potential solution to a real problem. Hopefully the site admin finds my suggestion useful, if they don't well that's great too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There clearly are problems. Spend half an hour on almost any forum topic and you will find reference to women receiving too many messages and from people who haven't read their profile. I offer a potential solution. You know, trying to be a positive member of the site. Apparently that is just cause for a sarcastic comment for you. Well it's a potential solution to a real problem. Hopefully the site admin finds my suggestion useful, if they don't well that's great too."
For every 20 messages received, one is of interest.
I delete the 19 and consider the remaining one.
With your proposal, I won't even get to see that one.
As with all matters in life, personal choice and responsibility tend to be the best choice. Rigid rules create their own issues.
By the way, I don't even consider the membership status of the person sending the message. |
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"There clearly are problems. Spend half an hour on almost any forum topic and you will find reference to women receiving too many messages and from people who haven't read their profile. I offer a potential solution. You know, trying to be a positive member of the site. Apparently that is just cause for a sarcastic comment for you. Well it's a potential solution to a real problem. Hopefully the site admin finds my suggestion useful, if they don't well that's great too."
I'm not being sarcastic I'm just pointing out what you think may be a good idea for you will not work well with others.
Again you are first to jump on the offensive because I've expressed my opinion in the same way you are expressing yours.
I see your point and where you are coming from but again by penalising or restricting members is unfair just because they don't meet a certain criteria.
Chill out hun xx
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There clearly are problems. Spend half an hour on almost any forum topic and you will find reference to women receiving too many messages and from people who haven't read their profile. I offer a potential solution. You know, trying to be a positive member of the site. Apparently that is just cause for a sarcastic comment for you. Well it's a potential solution to a real problem. Hopefully the site admin finds my suggestion useful, if they don't well that's great too.
I'm not being sarcastic I'm just pointing out what you think may be a good idea for you will not work well with others.
Again you are first to jump on the offensive because I've expressed my opinion in the same way you are expressing yours.
I see your point and where you are coming from but again by penalising or restricting members is unfair just because they don't meet a certain criteria.
Chill out hun xx
"
You weren't sarcastic. Sorry was responding to the other one but my slow typing got in the way.
Yes any idea will be agreed or disagreed with and I welcome disagreement. I just don't see the need for the disagreement to be nasty and sarcastic.
Your points are fine, though I disagree to a point, I do see where you're coming from  |
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"There clearly are problems. Spend half an hour on almost any forum topic and you will find reference to women receiving too many messages and from people who haven't read their profile. I offer a potential solution. You know, trying to be a positive member of the site. Apparently that is just cause for a sarcastic comment for you. Well it's a potential solution to a real problem. Hopefully the site admin finds my suggestion useful, if they don't well that's great too.
I'm not being sarcastic I'm just pointing out what you think may be a good idea for you will not work well with others.
Again you are first to jump on the offensive because I've expressed my opinion in the same way you are expressing yours.
I see your point and where you are coming from but again by penalising or restricting members is unfair just because they don't meet a certain criteria.
Chill out hun xx
You weren't sarcastic. Sorry was responding to the other one but my slow typing got in the way.
Yes any idea will be agreed or disagreed with and I welcome disagreement. I just don't see the need for the disagreement to be nasty and sarcastic.
Your points are fine, though I disagree to a point, I do see where you're coming from "
Its cool hun we are not on here to fight with anyone. Your points are valid and again your personal circumstances will differ from ours on the site.  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"There clearly are problems. Spend half an hour on almost any forum topic and you will find reference to women receiving too many messages and from people who haven't read their profile. I offer a potential solution. You know, trying to be a positive member of the site. Apparently that is just cause for a sarcastic comment for you. Well it's a potential solution to a real problem. Hopefully the site admin finds my suggestion useful, if they don't well that's great too."
To be fair, even if mails were restricted people might not read a profile before mailing.
We have been on these type of sites for many years, it was the same years ago as it is now, some people don't read profiles, some do. I doubt if anything put in place would stop that.
Having said that, you are in the right place for your suggestion |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"To be fair, even if mails were restricted people might not read a profile before mailing."
I agree with you, but at least it will stop them mailing 100 women at a time. You stop a 100 people mailing 100 women and you stopped 10,000 ill thought out messages.
I put thought into my messages and who I message and I'm lucky enough to have a fairly high 'hit rate'. I imagine to myself that I have to pay £5 for an introductory message and give it the same thought I'd give if that was the case. As a tight-arse Yorkshireman that mindset works for me. So my suggestion is just an extrapolation of that thought process.
It occurred to me there would also be the benefits as posted in the OP if there was a limit, and after reading of more issues in the forum today along these lines I decided to post my suggestion. |
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"To be fair, even if mails were restricted people might not read a profile before mailing.
I agree with you, but at least it will stop them mailing 100 women at a time. You stop a 100 people mailing 100 women and you stopped 10,000 ill thought out messages.
I put thought into my messages and who I message and I'm lucky enough to have a fairly high 'hit rate'. I imagine to myself that I have to pay £5 for an introductory message and give it the same thought I'd give if that was the case. As a tight-arse Yorkshireman that mindset works for me. So my suggestion is just an extrapolation of that thought process.
It occurred to me there would also be the benefits as posted in the OP if there was a limit, and after reading of more issues in the forum today along these lines I decided to post my suggestion."
A Yorkshireman tight arsed lol.
I'm married to a Scotsman lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A question OP....is it just for single men to be penalised? As we have had mails from women and couples in the past when our profile had said thats not who we were looking for"
Likewise |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A question OP....is it just for single men to be penalised? As we have had mails from women and couples in the past when our profile had said thats not who we were looking for
Likewise "
Like I say, a valid point, however I don't think it's to anywhere near to the same scale |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
I think it's a useful idea. Two MINOR points:-
1) I think the limits need to be HIGHER (maybe three times higher than you suggest, to allow for the people who only log on every few days)
2) It would need to apply to ALL TYPES OF PROFILES, not just single males. Single males already feel 'bottom of the list' when it comes to success on Fab, it wouldn't be a good idea to further discriminate against them.
One MAJOR point - party organisers! There would need to be a separate type of membership, for people who regularly host socials and parties. Typically, these socials/parties have 100+ attendees, and the venue is often a secret until a week before the event (to prevent journalists turning up!). The party organiser would therefore need special permission from Fab to send out 100+ messages in a single day. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's a useful idea. Two MINOR points:-
1) I think the limits need to be HIGHER (maybe three times higher than you suggest, to allow for the people who only log on every few days)
2) It would need to apply to ALL TYPES OF PROFILES, not just single males. Single males already feel 'bottom of the list' when it comes to success on Fab, it wouldn't be a good idea to further discriminate against them.
One MAJOR point - party organisers! There would need to be a separate type of membership, for people who regularly host socials and parties. Typically, these socials/parties have 100+ attendees, and the venue is often a secret until a week before the event (to prevent journalists turning up!). The party organiser would therefore need special permission from Fab to send out 100+ messages in a single day."
Bear in mind these are only limits for INTRODUCTORY messages ie the initial hello.
Party organisers will only be mass messaging people they've already spoken to so no issues there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's a useful idea. Two MINOR points:-
1) I think the limits need to be HIGHER (maybe three times higher than you suggest, to allow for the people who only log on every few days)
2) It would need to apply to ALL TYPES OF PROFILES, not just single males. Single males already feel 'bottom of the list' when it comes to success on Fab, it wouldn't be a good idea to further discriminate against them.
One MAJOR point - party organisers! There would need to be a separate type of membership, for people who regularly host socials and parties. Typically, these socials/parties have 100+ attendees, and the venue is often a secret until a week before the event (to prevent journalists turning up!). The party organiser would therefore need special permission from Fab to send out 100+ messages in a single day.
Bear in mind these are only limits for INTRODUCTORY messages ie the initial hello.
Party organisers will only be mass messaging people they've already spoken to so no issues there. "
Party organisers routinely message all people in a given area, regardless of whether they have had previous contact with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There's an events section for those looking for parties, but I'm sure if Fab deemed some people suitable as organisers to mass message then no problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What this op guy on stoping freedom of speach"
Not at all. A lot of men mass mail and don't get much response. If they are limited, the hope is they'll choose who to message more carefully and what to say. As a result they'll get more replies, and women won't be as inundated giving them more time to respond too.
Win win win. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"15 messages a day for gold supporters?
What about those of us who help organise events, socials, parties etc?
It's not unusual to send out 100 plus messages in a day for that?  "
Read above. That issue already been addressed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"15 messages a day for gold supporters?
What about those of us who help organise events, socials, parties etc?
It's not unusual to send out 100 plus messages in a day for that?
Read above. That issue already been addressed "
someone I am chating with is spot on with her thoughts on you but I have let you have your say before I made my own mind up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bollocks.....why penalise decent members just because there are a few knobheads.
If a good conversation is struck up you can easily exchange a dozen messages in half an hour....
I know...there was an old guy drove the wrong way down an m25 slip road. Why don't we close all motorways/slip roads.....that sounds really really daft...it is. But it uses the same logic! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Ive removed posts. Please dont comment on other posters profiles unless they specifically ask for it. Thankspeople can respond if they want 2surely "
Not when it involves breaking forum rules no |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bollocks.....why penalise decent members just because there are a few knobheads.
If a good conversation is struck up you can easily exchange a dozen messages in half an hour....
I know...there was an old guy drove the wrong way down an m25 slip road. Why don't we close all motorways/slip roads.....that sounds really really daft...it is. But it uses the same logic!"
It's just the FIRST message to a new recipient. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"someone I am chating with is spot on with her thoughts on you but I have let you have your say before I made my own mind up."
As flattered as I am that I'm the topic of conversation in your private messages with each other. I really aren't interested in knowing about it. Thanks. Would prefer you keep your comments on topic but of course I cant stop you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bollocks.....why penalise decent members just because there are a few knobheads.
If a good conversation is struck up you can easily exchange a dozen messages in half an hour....
I know...there was an old guy drove the wrong way down an m25 slip road. Why don't we close all motorways/slip roads.....that sounds really really daft...it is. But it uses the same logic!"
 |
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"15 messages a day for gold supporters?
What about those of us who help organise events, socials, parties etc?
It's not unusual to send out 100 plus messages in a day for that?
Read above. That issue already been addressed "
Yeah, but you are wrong when you say...
"Party organisers will only be mass messaging people they've already spoken to so no issues there."
I would say the majority of people we message for events are from the forum threads. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yeah, but you are wrong when you say...
"Party organisers will only be mass messaging people they've already spoken to so no issues there."
I would say the majority of people we message for events are from the forum threads. "
Fair enough I accepted that when the other person said same. I'm sure Fab would allow exceptions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yeah, but you are wrong when you say...
"Party organisers will only be mass messaging people they've already spoken to so no issues there."
I would say the majority of people we message for events are from the forum threads.
Fair enough I accepted that when the other person said same. I'm sure Fab would allow exceptions."
How? Too much work there for admin.
OP, what if we post a meet? The first 30 enquiries are not to our preference.
You probably know that it is a common complaint here on Fabs that messages are not responded to. If we send 30 "Thank you but" messages, we won't have any left to send to any people that we are subsequently interested in. It's a lose-lose scenario.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Yeah, but you are wrong when you say...
"Party organisers will only be mass messaging people they've already spoken to so no issues there."
I would say the majority of people we message for events are from the forum threads.
Fair enough I accepted that when the other person said same. I'm sure Fab would allow exceptions.
How? Too much work there for admin.
OP, what if we post a meet? The first 30 enquiries are not to our preference.
You probably know that it is a common complaint here on Fabs that messages are not responded to. If we send 30 "Thank you but" messages, we won't have any left to send to any people that we are subsequently interested in. It's a lose-lose scenario.
"
A reply is not a first introductory message. |
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