FabSwingers.com > Forums > Fabswingers.com site feedback > Thanks but no Thanks button

Thanks but no Thanks button

By *ross OP Man over a year ago

Everywhere

Single ladies and couples get loads of mail and seeing status updates some often just bulk delete... I put thought into what I write and of course yes sometimes its not their thing and they'll delete but how can I tell if they've read it or just mass deleted... I get people can't respond saying no thanks to everyone but for those that put effort in rather than fancy a fuck it would be nice for a less harsh deletion? Maybe I'm just dreaming lol

So what about a "No Thanks" button next to reply and delete that sends a canned reply saying "Thanks but no thanks" and then deletes the message. I used to be a web developer and this would take no time at all and would make it a tiny bit nicer for folks who put effort into messages..

Thoughts?

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By *ardvarkMan over a year ago

argyll

This function was on a gaysite back in the early noughties... so technology must of improved since then... polite and to the point

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By *litterbabeWoman over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I feel an in box full of rejection might make people feel sad. When I say "thanks but no thanks' I often get lots of questions as to why, comparisons between the sender of the message and other people I might know, and reasons why they should be the exceptionand I should just roll over my preferences for this one person who I have never even met.

I'm paper it sounds like a good suggestion but in reality I'm not so sure.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

..... but why have you rejected me?

..... whats wrong with me?

..... you met so n so, why not me?

..... give me a chance you won't be disappointed.

And so it goes on and on.

Some people can't take no for an answer.

Some think by you replying with a no thanks, is an opening to a conversation.

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By *essons in LustCouple over a year ago

huddersfield

"I feel an in box full of rejection might make people feel sad. When I say "thanks but no thanks' I often get lots of questions as to why, comparisons between the sender of the message and other people I might know, and reasons why they should be the exceptionand I should just roll over my preferences for this one person who I have never even met.

I'm paper it sounds like a good suggestion but in reality I'm not so sure. "

Yes we get questioned too when we politely reply lol and then we have to ignore or block

I do think that this button would be a good idea to answer nice people that you’re not interested in or just do nt have the time for ?

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By *zzy69Woman over a year ago

The Lake District

I have been inclined to say thanks but no thanks and then immediately block rather than receiving more questions or even abuse

Harsh but life is too short to talk to people you aren’t interested in ( other than if it’s your job I suppose)

IIf people want advice as to why they are being rejected the Forum is there for that

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS over a year ago

London&Dublin

I like this suggestion.

However it has been suggested few times even from few years back. Apparently it's not being accepted.

Few said that no reply is no thanks and thus the button is redundant.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman over a year ago

by the sea

I think it would work, plus another one is not to let people send messages after sending the first one as obviously the warning means nothing to some people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I understand it was trialled at some point...everyone complained it was too impersonal...and it allows those you've rejected to breach your filters if you then filter out that category of person...

I seriously don't understand why people can't just accept that if people don't respond to you, they're not interested, nor why they'd want an inbox full of rejection...

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple over a year ago

Falkirk

Nope.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Single ladies and couples get loads of mail and seeing status updates some often just bulk delete... I put thought into what I write and of course yes sometimes its not their thing and they'll delete but how can I tell if they've read it or just mass deleted... I get people can't respond saying no thanks to everyone but for those that put effort in rather than fancy a fuck it would be nice for a less harsh deletion? Maybe I'm just dreaming lol

Thoughts?"

Fab used to have a thanks but no thanks button. People complained about the automated thanks but no thanks button, they said it was impersonal. People said it only takes under a minute to type thanks but no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks but no thanks button, with an instant block would work. Most men are used to rejection on here and not getting a reply any way. Worth giving it a trial

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks but no thanks button, with an instant block would work. Most men are used to rejection on here and not getting a reply any way. Worth giving it a trial"

or just a block...same outcome...

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"..... but why have you rejected me?

..... whats wrong with me?

..... you met so n so, why not me?

..... give me a chance you won't be disappointed.

And so it goes on and on.

Some people can't take no for an answer.

Some think by you replying with a no thanks, is an opening to a conversation. "

Omg these women are so up themselves deleting my message/ just using a button, it's an outrage etc!

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

If the person you’ve messaged has read your mail and not responded within 24hrs in my opinion I’d say they’re not interested.

I wouldn’t beat yourself up over it.

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By *ostenosMan over a year ago

Sowerby Bridge

You guys do realise it's common fucking courtesy to tell people why you won't meet them and aren't interested? It's blatantly rude to not tell people why and it doesn't help people who struggle to not be ignored actually meet in the future. It's selfish.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"You guys do realise it's common fucking courtesy to tell people why you won't meet them and aren't interested? It's blatantly rude to not tell people why and it doesn't help people who struggle to not be ignored actually meet in the future. It's selfish. "

Yes, and we feel it's exactly the same when we get sent unasked for messages with cock pics, etc. Reply to people and you have broken any filter that you may choose to apply in the future, also this opens the door to being abused, people trying to change our minds or a barrage of why nots. Who's being selfish now??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think a no reply tells you thanks but no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thoughts?"
yes I agree with you they should b a button. But if that was the case they should be be three buttons

1 delete 2nd yes interested will message you later. 3rd no thank you with an automatic block. I also think every female male couple profile should have verification picture and fab should introduce every six months and new verification picture. Especially for couples as people separate or evil get divorced.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's in the site rules that delete without reply means no thank you.

I get less abuse by just deleting. Which means I struggle less. Not desperately sorry about that.

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By *naswingdressWoman over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's in the site rules that delete without reply means no thank you.

I get less abuse by just deleting. Which means I struggle less. Not desperately sorry about that. "

You'd also think that it's, in your words, common fucking courtesy to read profiles and respect wishes before messaging. Sadly you'd be mistaken.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman over a year ago

by the sea

No one here is under any obligation to reply to any unsolicited messages

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one here is under any obligation to reply to any unsolicited messages

"
exactly right kind of put it better myself .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No one here is under any obligation to reply to any unsolicited messages

"
"

exactly right couldn't of put it better myself

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By *zzy69Woman over a year ago

The Lake District

The young male has already been added to my lengthy block list.

If you mail someone despite the fact you are not what they are looking for you are doing well to be ignored as an instant block would be a perfectly reasonable response. As pointed out replying even with a no thanks then means you can not be filtered out in future and hence a block may have to be resorted to.

Even if s woman or couple is looking for a single male they will often state clearly in their profile specific preferences - chances are they are not interested in engaging with you if you don’t make it clear you have st least read the text not just looked st the pictures!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nonsense

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By *ollydoesWoman over a year ago

Shangri-La

Says who? I'm under no obligation to explain myself to anyone...and who has the time to sit and reply to everyone you dont wanna meet with reasons why? I know I havnt.

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By *annahHeartsWoman over a year ago

Wherever I want to be!!!!

Totally agree!! I’m sick of people asking me why and then challenging me. Challenging me will just get a block along with those who are rude and accusatory! I once sent a response saying ‘Thank you for such a lovely message but as my profile says, I’m not looking for meets’.... the response I got was - “you’re so up yourself - you fucking bitch! Women have it easy on this site!” We don’t! A set response that also puts them on ‘block’ I think is possibly too far but I like the simple response idea.

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By *annahHeartsWoman over a year ago

Wherever I want to be!!!!

No it isn’t. A ‘no thanks’ or ‘delete’ tells you I’m not interested. There’s no rule that says I have to stroke anyone’s ego or train them on how to approach women or how to pose for a decent photo..... adapt, self reflect... and if you’re struggling- delete your account!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is in real life, I agree. However for most this isn't real life, if a shag or two on the side and as such that's how people on here treat each other generally in forums and in meets.

As per fab rules no reply means not interested, so follow those rules and just block those who aren't interested. It saves thinking about possibly messaging again and either being ignored or blocked yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"No it isn’t. A ‘no thanks’ or ‘delete’ tells you I’m not interested. There’s no rule that says I have to stroke anyone’s ego or train them on how to approach women or how to pose for a decent photo..... adapt, self reflect... and if you’re struggling- delete your account! "

Why should he delete? He can use his account how he likes and can learn to adapt.

I've talked to many ladies about a no thanks button and all I've spoken directly too have said it be a good idea. It also could be made to stop the person responding back , which after all is the biggest annoyance from what I hear and read.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

For clarity, Fab has never had a no thanks button but another site connected to Fab does and people complain more about the automated reply than not having a reply at all. I think it is a no win situation

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Do you mean not replying to an initial mail from you or after you have chatted for a while?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"For clarity, Fab has never had a no thanks button but another site connected to Fab does and people complain more about the automated reply than not having a reply at all. I think it is a no win situation"

I've raised this over the year and understand that the other site complain about it, however if the no thank you button, then had a feature that prevents the recipient from sending another message as I said in earlier post, it would save the grief that ladies have about message ping-pong.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

They can always ignore the message or block the person themselves then no ping pong at all

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By *obbytupperMan over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

So speaks the common fucking courtesy expert.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman over a year ago

London

Why? Because we are not attracted to that person. Why else?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"They can always ignore the message or block the person themselves then no ping pong at all"

They can indeed.... But as you also know it's a weekly forum post of complaint.

Obviously Fab don't want too.

My guess is that so many would be restricted to message that it may kill things a bit.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Or maybe because it caused more problems than good on another site of theirs. I wouldn't say it was a weekly suggestion though.

For me personally and only my own point of view , I think if people can't use the tools provided on the site now, ie like their block button and filters then maybe they really don't want to, for whatever reasons

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It might be better for fab to remove the "sent mail" functionality?

The majority of whining seems to revolve about messages being deleted unread / read then deleted with no reply. Once people stop checking the sent mail slavishly, they'll enjoy fab more. Get a reply to your message? Bonus. You don't? Don't sweat it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Or maybe because it caused more problems than good on another site of theirs. I wouldn't say it was a weekly suggestion though.

Didn't say it was a weekly suggestion, just a weekly complaint on forums. It pops up all the time.

If it's such a big problem on the other site, why do they still maintain it? It is a very different demographic on there to here and so caters for that more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thoughts?"

Excellent idea x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So speaks the common fucking courtesy expert.

I think possibly because telling someone they aren't attractive to you Is also not polite? I try to always reply, as the reply is the common courtesy?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Still think it would be a good idea. Although a personal no thank you, is preferential.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Or maybe because it caused more problems than good on another site of theirs. I wouldn't say it was a weekly suggestion though.

Didn't say it was a weekly suggestion, just a weekly complaint on forums. It pops up all the time.

If it's such a big problem on the other site, why do they still maintain it? It is a very different demographic on there to here and so caters for that more.

You would have to ask the owners that question. I am guessing once the function is there it is liked by some people so harder to get rid of, but again, that is just what I think as I don't know the answer

I was talking about asking for a no thankyou button as a weekly occurrence of which I didn't think there was.

People complaining about others not answering maybe a more regular thread though

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So speaks the common fucking courtesy expert.

I think possibly because telling someone they aren't attractive to you Is also not polite? I try to always reply, as the reply is the common courtesy? "

The function already exists. It's the 'reply' button.

Copy & paste a respectful reply and send it. Easy.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

So speaks the common fucking courtesy expert.

I think possibly because telling someone they aren't attractive to you Is also not polite? I try to always reply, as the reply is the common courtesy?

The function already exists. It's the 'reply' button.

Copy & paste a respectful reply and send it. Easy.

Or just don't reply to unwanted messages, as per fab faq section, that's even easier.

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By *rbean69Man over a year ago

Stroud

Thoughts?"

I agree with this entirely.

On the other hand, the site is pretty basic and lacks functionality. I suspect (and may be wrong) that there just is not the money to make such improvements. The site could be better, but I am grateful for the very existence of Fab.

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By *leasant passionate manMan over a year ago

Leicester

I'm paper it sounds like a good suggestion but in reality I'm not so sure. "

An empty inbox can be equally demoralizing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/05/19 17:40:11]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with the post above that the ‘seen’ and especially the ‘deleted’ message statuses aren’t necessary and removing them would probably help

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By *abs..Woman over a year ago

I don’t get follow up questions. I say no thank you but I hope you have fun and they usually message to say thanks for replying. That’s it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No one is obliged to justify why they have turned someone down.

On the rare occasion that it happens they get told that. Any further messages result in being blocked.

I do think a no thanks button could work if you have the option to edit your response. It then stops any further messages for a limited time, a little like winks can't be resent in 30days. so no need to block.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

No one is obliged to justify why they have turned someone down.

On the rare occasion that it happens they get told that. Any further messages result in being blocked.

No reply means no thanks......

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