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Bareback

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By *penbicouple OP   Couple  over a year ago

Northampton

On fabguys.com "bareback" is one of the Interest options.

I really think this is needed as a fabswingers option. That would save me having to answer countless messages from guys who presume they'll get to cum inside Alice.

I love this site. But sometimes it feels like it's full of 14-year old boys!

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By *adeiteWoman  over a year ago

Poole, but up in lincs for a bit

If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback. "

that’s the assumption I make on here too

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By *penbicouple OP   Couple  over a year ago

Northampton


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback. "

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

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By *mmixtapeCouple  over a year ago

middle earth

Unfortunately that's what the message is on here

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

that’s the assumption I make on here too"

Same, if safe sex is not ticked then our assumption also

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By *edonismproMan  over a year ago

Essex

Wouldn't it be better if people didn't have to make assumptions?

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By *ranfondoMan  over a year ago

Cambridgeshire


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't. "

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked...

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By *ungBlackTopMan  over a year ago

salford


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked... "

And that's why you shouldn't trust anyone on this site. No one practices what they preach, no one is who they say they are, yes the old I'm straight but shags men and trans but still believe they're straight. Single means in a relationship but they dont know about it....the list unfortunately goes on and on and on.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked... "

Always surprises me how all ticked interests are seen as interests but "safe sex" as a requirement.

Unless there's something specifically said in the profile regarding safe sex - it is only an interest along with others. Now how many expect to have all ticked interests happening during the meet?

Mrs

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked...

Always surprises me how all ticked interests are seen as interests but "safe sex" as a requirement.

Unless there's something specifically said in the profile regarding safe sex - it is only an interest along with others. Now how many expect to have all ticked interests happening during the meet?

Mrs"

It’s really not just an “interest” from my perspective. It’s a non negotiable subject for me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked...

Always surprises me how all ticked interests are seen as interests but "safe sex" as a requirement.

Unless there's something specifically said in the profile regarding safe sex - it is only an interest along with others. Now how many expect to have all ticked interests happening during the meet?

Mrs

It’s really not just an “interest” from my perspective. It’s a non negotiable subject for me. "

It's listed as an "interest". How do you separate which ones are just interests and which ones are the requirements then? Or is everything listed a requirement?

Mrs

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked...

Always surprises me how all ticked interests are seen as interests but "safe sex" as a requirement.

Unless there's something specifically said in the profile regarding safe sex - it is only an interest along with others. Now how many expect to have all ticked interests happening during the meet?

Mrs

It’s really not just an “interest” from my perspective. It’s a non negotiable subject for me.

It's listed as an "interest". How do you separate which ones are just interests and which ones are the requirements then? Or is everything listed a requirement?

Mrs"

Because to me safe sex isn’t negotiable ever. I value my health far too much.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman  over a year ago

kinky land

Some take safe sex as a given, some think clicking it as an interest means it's clear they won't go bare; some put it in their profile text

We all have our own preferences, if it isn't for you then move on to the next profile &/or thread, politely,

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland

Perhaps an alternative way to look at it is that if someone decides to not tick safe sex they are “interested” in bareback. And that allows me to make the informed decision they are not for me.

After all why else would you not tick it?

Sadly I don’t get to decide exactly how my profile is laid out just like everyone else we’ve got to work with what we’ve got on this site.

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan  over a year ago

Yorkshire

Some fair points on this thread. What's evident is that the way that people use the "Safe Sex" check box on their own profile isn't necessarily the way in which people reading that profile interpret it, or the way that the site developers intended it to be used.

As per the OP's suggestion, maybe it is time for a separate profile setting which makes it clear whether a given site member requires protection be used a) always, b) sometimes, c) never or d) insists on bareback?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"Safe sex" is an important subject in this lifestyle to all involved. A different website has solved it by allowing the user to select options of "always", "sometimes" or "never" next to safe sex. I think that's a brilliant way for everyone to show their preference to the question and is clearly displayed on the profile leaving no ambiguity.

Surely something like that wouldn't be that complicated to implement on the website.

Mrs.

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By *rishcowboy36Man  over a year ago

dundalk

Bareback is crazy on a one nite stand or a random partner but with a regular partner and proof of sexual health..then yes its bareback for me all the time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Following the way this thread has gone I've rushed off to tick safe sex on my profile. Someone asked why would someone not tick it. I didn't previously because myself and my normal partner still hope to have another child and safe sex somewhat prevents that. I wasnt referring solely to on here when I didn't tick.it originally and I've never had a situation on here where a meet hasn't practised it.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"Following the way this thread has gone I've rushed off to tick safe sex on my profile. Someone asked why would someone not tick it. I didn't previously because myself and my normal partner still hope to have another child and safe sex somewhat prevents that. I wasnt referring solely to on here when I didn't tick.it originally and I've never had a situation on here where a meet hasn't practised it."

But thought that box referrers to swinginging preference

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Following the way this thread has gone I've rushed off to tick safe sex on my profile. Someone asked why would someone not tick it. I didn't previously because myself and my normal partner still hope to have another child and safe sex somewhat prevents that. I wasnt referring solely to on here when I didn't tick.it originally and I've never had a situation on here where a meet hasn't practised it.

But thought that box referrers to swinginging preference "

Genuinely not how I saw it. Believed it to be asking if i always practised it which clearly i dont. I wouldn't put myself and my partner at risk by not doing so outside of us. As I said. I've stood corrected now and amended my tick.boxes.

Not that anyone pays attention to them anyway as I'm constantly asked if I will do things that aren't ticked on mine.

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

A bareback option in the interest section would make very little difference imo. Those ones who celebrate bareback have it spelled out on their profile. The bit more hidden ones leave the safe sex unticked and then you have closet barebackers and the bareback chancers who tick the safe sex box and would never admit it.

Not sure where those ones with no interests come in.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"A bareback option in the interest section would make very little difference imo. Those ones who celebrate bareback have it spelled out on their profile. The bit more hidden ones leave the safe sex unticked and then you have closet barebackers and the bareback chancers who tick the safe sex box and would never admit it.

Not sure where those ones with no interests come in. "

Agree, would be clearer

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By *inky SpiceWoman  over a year ago

Glasgow


"On fabguys.com "bareback" is one of the Interest options.

I really think this is needed as a fabswingers option. That would save me having to answer countless messages from guys who presume they'll get to cum inside Alice.

I love this site. But sometimes it feels like it's full of 14-year old boys! "

Frankly it would be pointless, you'd still get them wanting to fill Alice, just use it as a filter.

I don't bother with any of the "interests" now as most guys seem to use it as a catalogue of what they were definitely going to get should they get to meet me.

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By *aughtycp1Couple  over a year ago

Leicestershire

Always safe sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's probably far less confusing to actually talk about it with those you intend to meet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It's probably far less confusing to actually talk about it with those you intend to meet "

I agree with that totally. Those I have met it's always come up in conversation making a few tick boxes irrelevant. I've had plenty contact me who have safe sex ticked yet their first question is will you do bareback

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By *edonismproMan  over a year ago

Essex


"A bareback option in the interest section would make very little difference imo. Those ones who celebrate bareback have it spelled out on their profile. The bit more hidden ones leave the safe sex unticked and then you have closet barebackers and the bareback chancers who tick the safe sex box and would never admit it."

I think it would make some difference. If it was an option, then the "closet barebackers" and "chancers" could more easily identify people on the site with the same interest. They can search using that interest as a marker. They wouldn't then need to send messages to people asking if they bareback or not, and would be more likely to stick to messaging people they know do.

I still don't understand why Fabguys has the option and Fabswingers doesn't.

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS  over a year ago

doncaster

Safe sex not showing up as a interest is definitely without a doubt a bareback fuck willing user

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Safe sex not showing up as a interest is definitely without a doubt a bareback fuck willing user "

It isnt though as said previously I'd never fuck anyone but my partner bareback but because of that I hadn't previously ticked it. It didn't mean I'd fuck anyone bare back especially not off here

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By *rotic-TouchTV/TS  over a year ago

doncaster


"Safe sex not showing up as a interest is definitely without a doubt a bareback fuck willing user

It isnt though as said previously I'd never fuck anyone but my partner bareback but because of that I hadn't previously ticked it. It didn't mean I'd fuck anyone bare back especially not off here"

well it's the impression that you are giving most users on here

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

It doesn't necessarily refer to just fucking, as regular posts on oral question. As it's only safer sex, not safe, we probably should encouraged the site to amend it to safer, instead of safe.

Profile interests and preferences could be displayed better, including clarifying what's important, essential or a minor interest. Whilst we can write details in our profile text, having categosation makes it easier for us each to search for others who match, more successful and more easily.

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By *penbicouple OP   Couple  over a year ago

Northampton

I think the idea of having essential and non-essential items could be quite useful.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's amazing how many lady's want it bareback has surprised me

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman  over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"On fabguys.com "bareback" is one of the Interest options.

I really think this is needed as a fabswingers option. That would save me having to answer countless messages from guys who presume they'll get to cum inside Alice.

I love this site. But sometimes it feels like it's full of 14-year old boys! "

With no social skills.. Yup sounds like my inbox

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

No glove

No love

And certainly no exceptions

SIMPLE

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By *exyfuncouple74Couple  over a year ago

Eastbourne

Went to a party before Christmas and we saw many other couples (not us) were fucking multiple partners bareback. I bet some of them have 'safe sex' ticked, so I don't think it really makes much difference what is ticked.

I suppose that ticking the box just reserves the right to ask someone to wear a condom without it being a surprise request.

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman  over a year ago

Deviant City

The only thing needing to be changed is safe sex to safer sex.

Safe sex means no sex at all.

Using condoms is safer but not 100%

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think there should be a bareback box it makes it crystel clear you like cum inside you I love bareback

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By *ablo minibar123Woman  over a year ago

.

I think some people just tick it as they assume they wont get a meet if they dont, safe sex is ticked but a profile can be full of action pics all with different people and no condom in sight, it doesnt add up does it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"On fabguys.com "bareback" is one of the Interest options.

I really think this is needed as a fabswingers option. That would save me having to answer countless messages from guys who presume they'll get to cum inside Alice.

I love this site. But sometimes it feels like it's full of 14-year old boys!

With no social skills.. Yup sounds like my inbox "

lol

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By *andy2123Couple  over a year ago

Portsmouth


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback. "

So many do tick safe fun, but don't. They want to be seen as political correct. Each to there own I say, just be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback. "

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try "

You can think of a few I've you've the Thyme

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try

You can think of a few I've you've the Thyme "

Ha ha Nice one, nice as nice as your pics. Wow

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By *yesgreenMan  over a year ago

north and south


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try

You can think of a few I've you've the Thyme

Ha ha Nice one, nice as nice as your pics. Wow "

As wellinever said talk like grown ups , even 40 plus can sound like sixteen year olds lol

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try

You can think of a few I've you've the Thyme

Ha ha Nice one, nice as nice as your pics. Wow "

Thank you

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By *yesgreenMan  over a year ago

north and south


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try

You can think of a few I've you've the Thyme

Ha ha Nice one, nice as nice as your pics. Wow

Thank you "

Agreed Fipeter lovely as in sexy underwear lovely pictures lovely dresses lovely outlook

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Sage sex, thats new. Any other herbs we can try

You can think of a few I've you've the Thyme

Ha ha Nice one, nice as nice as your pics. Wow

Thank you Agreed Fipeter lovely as in sexy underwear lovely pictures lovely dresses lovely outlook "

How lovely of you to say

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By *SAchickWoman  over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't. "

Why wouldn't you tick it though? Unless you didn't want safe sex?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think a lot of people tick safe sex but would go bare back as well, it’s all a bit flakey. Best thing is to put it in a message early in a conversation that condoms are compulsory

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By *yesgreenMan  over a year ago

north and south


"I think a lot of people tick safe sex but would go bare back as well, it’s all a bit flakey. Best thing is to put it in a message early in a conversation that condoms are compulsory "
I don't tick that box but as adults it's open to discussion with everyone , I personally find that they hinder spontaneous sexual relations and I'm happy to not bother with penetration and do all the other wonderful things that's out there and still be smiling, No condoms over my brandy glass !!!!!

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By *anchoPanzaMan  over a year ago

Newport

Safe sex? I wear a High viz a hard hat and safety glasses. Sometimes steel toe capped boots are needed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Seems obvious to me. No matter if you tick the option or not, put it in your profile. If you are adamant safe sex is paramount make sure communications start with SAFE SEX ONLY is put in the subject box

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The thing with the tick boxes is it's so easy to just tick the ones that will show you as an 'enlightened' individual but have absolutely no guarantee that it's the truth.

Writing 'No Glove no Love' or 'I value my health too much' or '100% safe sex and no exceptions' etc etc on a profile is nothing more than words and literally no guarantee of anything.

None of us has a clue what those we play with get up to at other times which is why using common sense is the best tool on here.

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland


"The thing with the tick boxes is it's so easy to just tick the ones that will show you as an 'enlightened' individual but have absolutely no guarantee that it's the truth.

Writing 'No Glove no Love' or 'I value my health too much' or '100% safe sex and no exceptions' etc etc on a profile is nothing more than words and literally no guarantee of anything.

None of us has a clue what those we play with get up to at other times which is why using common sense is the best tool on here. "

You are right, you have no guarantee what anybody does apart from yourself. Which is why I personally use common sense to minimise risk (and that’s why I avoid anyone I consider may play bareback with others) and why when I say I make no exceptions I mean it.

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By *un and Frolics 1Woman  over a year ago

Lincoln

Not necessarily

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think the idea of having essential and non-essential items could be quite useful."

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By *penbicouple OP   Couple  over a year ago

Northampton


"The thing with the tick boxes is it's so easy to just tick the ones that will show you as an 'enlightened' individual but have absolutely no guarantee that it's the truth.

Writing 'No Glove no Love' or 'I value my health too much' or '100% safe sex and no exceptions' etc etc on a profile is nothing more than words and literally no guarantee of anything.

None of us has a clue what those we play with get up to at other times which is why using common sense is the best tool on here. "

Perhaps I have not expressed myself properly. Some couples or individuals DO want bareback and they would be free to specify that. Then, with the advanced search, I would hope that I could exclude them.

Obviously, it would not uncover those who were lying.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I would like to have some sex bearback or with condom but nothing on this site ??

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Safe sex ticked should mean no bareback

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback. "

But some people will do both so I agree with the OP, give an option to highlight bareback!

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

But some people will do both so I agree with the OP, give an option to highlight bareback!"

Nothing is guaranteed, we know of safesex ticked yet when met they actually have never used a condom at all. Safesex obviously varies to interpretation, one foot on the floor for balance, not whilst driving maybe, the mind boggles

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By *oss and Kinky BitchCouple  over a year ago

horncastle

Does anybody still actually go bareback still , we have spoken about it before

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By *yesgreenMan  over a year ago

north and south


"Does anybody still actually go bareback still , we have spoken about it before "
Its a choice between the Adults you meet ( box ticked or not ) You chat about what you want and with whom , maybe with your fun buddy it's bare but with new meets you might want the glove , Or you may just enjoy call only

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Perhaps an alternative way to look at it is that if someone decides to not tick safe sex they are “interested” in bareback. And that allows me to make the informed decision they are not for me.

After all why else would you not tick it?

Sadly I don’t get to decide exactly how my profile is laid out just like everyone else we’ve got to work with what we’ve got on this site. "

And that is entirely the OP's point!!

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By *rank speakerMan  over a year ago

Worcester


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked...

Always surprises me how all ticked interests are seen as interests but "safe sex" as a requirement.

Unless there's something specifically said in the profile regarding safe sex - it is only an interest along with others. Now how many expect to have all ticked interests happening during the meet?

Mrs

It’s really not just an “interest” from my perspective. It’s a non negotiable subject for me. "

As I always actually try to chat to people who I hope to meet beforehand surely this is discussed early on? My assumption is any meet will always be with condoms unless you're specifically given permission or requested to do otherwise ?

Sorry I've only been here for a few years now and getting on a bit so maybe the younger members take a different view?

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF)  over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

Safe sex is no sex.

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By *rgasmdonorMan  over a year ago

millstreet


"On fabguys.com "bareback" is one of the Interest options.

I really think this is needed as a fabswingers option. That would save me having to answer countless messages from guys who presume they'll get to cum inside Alice.I think its because your bi and lads tend to think that bi husbands like to clean up after they finished with your wife

I love this site. But sometimes it feels like it's full of 14-year old boys! "

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By *rgasmdonorMan  over a year ago

millstreet


"On fabguys.com "bareback" is one of the Interest options.

I really think this is needed as a fabswingers option. That would save me having to answer countless messages from guys who presume they'll get to cum inside Alice.I think its because your bi and lads tend to think that bi husbands like to clean up after they finished with your wife

I love this site. But sometimes it feels like it's full of 14-year old boys! "

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By *irky_coupleCouple  over a year ago

kirky

we had a meet where we had been using condoms and the lady of the other couple asked my man if he wanted to fuck her bare and also had a guy from a different couple asking to fuck me bare after using condoms. Both offers were declined but no offence was taken.

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By *icoleAndLisaTransTV/TS  over a year ago

Ellesmere Port

To do this properly, I think we should have 6 separate categories covering oral, anal and vaginal sex both with and without condoms. And yes, it's legit to tick both boxes for one category if, for example, you prefer bareback but don't mind condoms.

Safe(r) sex does not necessarily mean you don't bareback. Bareback while on correctly taken PrEP is less than half of the HIV risk of relying on condoms. Everything else that's a risk from anal or vaginal sex can either be vaccinated against, or is something you could just as easily pick up from unprotected oral.

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland

[Removed by poster at 02/05/20 10:55:12]

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland

[Removed by poster at 02/05/20 10:59:19]

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland


"To do this properly, I think we should have 6 separate categories covering oral, anal and vaginal sex both with and without condoms. And yes, it's legit to tick both boxes for one category if, for example, you prefer bareback but don't mind condoms.

Safe(r) sex does not necessarily mean you don't bareback. Bareback while on correctly taken PrEP is less than half of the HIV risk of relying on condoms. Everything else that's a risk from anal or vaginal sex can either be vaccinated against, or is something you could just as easily pick up from unprotected oral."

There’s no vaccine against most STD’s and STI’s and whilst yes it is possible for them to be transmitted via oral without, oral transmission is the least likely AND why would you risk further exposure to the particular nastiest like gonorrhoea or syphilis by exposing yourself via oral AND vaginally / anally?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I only do bareback with my hubby

I get questioned by men on here why I only do anal with condoms to, sorry but definitely not putting myself at risk

But each to they own

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By *icoleAndLisaTransTV/TS  over a year ago

Ellesmere Port


"There’s no vaccine against most STD’s and STI’s and whilst yes it is possible for them to be transmitted via oral without, oral transmission is the least likely AND why would you risk further exposure to the particular nastiest like gonorrhoea or syphilis by exposing yourself via oral AND vaginally / anally?"

I think you'll find both syphilis and gonorrhoea spread readily through oral sex, so I stand by the comments I made earlier. Of course if you have condomless oral followed by oral or anal with a condom then you're at lower overall risk than if you didn't use a condom for either, simply because you have engaged in one fewer higher risk sexual acts. But don't kid yourself that you're safe because you only do oral without a condom.

The two that you specifically mention can be treated with antibiotics (yes, even drug resistant gonorrhoea can be treated with the right antibiotics.) Neither of them will do you any long term damage as long as they are caught reasonably early and treated.

If you're playing this game and you have any sense, you get tested regularly. If you get a positive result, you take the medication, abstain from sex until you're clear, and you inform as many sexual partners as possible, so that they can do the same. That's irrespective of whether you use condoms and what for. If you're non-monogamous, this is basic common sense. Condoms reduce rather than eliminate risk. There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex.

People seem to treat catching a perfectly curable STI as though it's the end of the world. Yet the only real difference between it and a stomach bug is the stigma of having caught it through sex. Shigella is a perfect example of this, because it gets to be both: if caught sexually (e.g. through rimming) it gets treated as a disgusting sex disease. Yet there are plenty of other ways to catch it, including from a door handle used by someone who didn't wash their hands properly after going to the toilet.

Syphilis and gonorrhoea are not the end of the world. HIV and Hepatitis B are the life changing ones that you're actually likely to catch through sex. And we have PrEP (at least twice as safe as condoms) and a vaccine for those.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We think having both options would be better and clearer. Jessica prefers to play bareback, but she'll play safe too, so assuming she won't because she hasn't ticked Safe Sex isn't true. If we could select both then it's clearer that either way is fine.

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By *ows the time 300Man  over a year ago

Rickmansworth


"We think having both options would be better and clearer. Jessica prefers to play bareback, but she'll play safe too, so assuming she won't because she hasn't ticked Safe Sex isn't true. If we could select both then it's clearer that either way is fine."

I know if I met with you I would most definitely be ticking the bareback option

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By *winkleFairyCouple  over a year ago

Scotland


"There’s no vaccine against most STD’s and STI’s and whilst yes it is possible for them to be transmitted via oral without, oral transmission is the least likely AND why would you risk further exposure to the particular nastiest like gonorrhoea or syphilis by exposing yourself via oral AND vaginally / anally?

I think you'll find both syphilis and gonorrhoea spread readily through oral sex, so I stand by the comments I made earlier. Of course if you have condomless oral followed by oral or anal with a condom then you're at lower overall risk than if you didn't use a condom for either, simply because you have engaged in one fewer higher risk sexual acts. But don't kid yourself that you're safe because you only do oral without a condom.

The two that you specifically mention can be treated with antibiotics (yes, even drug resistant gonorrhoea can be treated with the right antibiotics.) Neither of them will do you any long term damage as long as they are caught reasonably early and treated.

If you're playing this game and you have any sense, you get tested regularly. If you get a positive result, you take the medication, abstain from sex until you're clear, and you inform as many sexual partners as possible, so that they can do the same. That's irrespective of whether you use condoms and what for. If you're non-monogamous, this is basic common sense. Condoms reduce rather than eliminate risk. There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex.

People seem to treat catching a perfectly curable STI as though it's the end of the world. Yet the only real difference between it and a stomach bug is the stigma of having caught it through sex. Shigella is a perfect example of this, because it gets to be both: if caught sexually (e.g. through rimming) it gets treated as a disgusting sex disease. Yet there are plenty of other ways to catch it, including from a door handle used by someone who didn't wash their hands properly after going to the toilet.

Syphilis and gonorrhoea are not the end of the world. HIV and Hepatitis B are the life changing ones that you're actually likely to catch through sex. And we have PrEP (at least twice as safe as condoms) and a vaccine for those."

Ok first things first... I never once discussed treatment with antibiotics. You were talking about a vaccine. That’s entirely different!

I never said oral without wasn’t without risk. But the chance of transmission is at its highest via anal sex, then vaginal, then oral. And you make exactly the point I said. That engaging in all 3 without puts you at a significantly higher risk of infection.

But mostly, if you genuinely think treatment after you’ve caught something is the right way to deal with the risk of sexually transmitted infections and diseases?! Wow. I’m speechless.

We clearly have very very different opinions on the correct way to deal with risks in these situations so I’ll be leaving this conversation here.

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By *indfkdWoman  over a year ago

glasgow


"If you dont tick sage sex then that means you only fuck bareback.

Ummmm... no, it doesn't.

Nor does Safe Sex mean condoms, lost count the women on here who have contacted me, when the subject of a meet comes up...you get...I want it bareback.. even tho' they have safe sex ticked... "

And the guys who tick safe sex, but openly display bareback pics

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By *lirty-CoupleCouple  over a year ago

Bexley

Anyone who feels strongly about this or any other aspect of 'swinging' ought not to be relying on vague ticked boxes but explaining clearly in their profiles. However, as others have said, there's no such thing as totally safe sex and there's an awful lot of people about who'll say anything to get what they want. To that extent the best anyone can do is to take time and exercise caution when assessing potential playmates.

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By *icoleAndLisaTransTV/TS  over a year ago

Ellesmere Port


"There’s no vaccine against most STD’s and STI’s and whilst yes it is possible for them to be transmitted via oral without, oral transmission is the least likely AND why would you risk further exposure to the particular nastiest like gonorrhoea or syphilis by exposing yourself via oral AND vaginally / anally?

I think you'll find both syphilis and gonorrhoea spread readily through oral sex, so I stand by the comments I made earlier. Of course if you have condomless oral followed by oral or anal with a condom then you're at lower overall risk than if you didn't use a condom for either, simply because you have engaged in one fewer higher risk sexual acts. But don't kid yourself that you're safe because you only do oral without a condom.

The two that you specifically mention can be treated with antibiotics (yes, even drug resistant gonorrhoea can be treated with the right antibiotics.) Neither of them will do you any long term damage as long as they are caught reasonably early and treated.

If you're playing this game and you have any sense, you get tested regularly. If you get a positive result, you take the medication, abstain from sex until you're clear, and you inform as many sexual partners as possible, so that they can do the same. That's irrespective of whether you use condoms and what for. If you're non-monogamous, this is basic common sense. Condoms reduce rather than eliminate risk. There's no such thing as safe sex, only safer sex.

People seem to treat catching a perfectly curable STI as though it's the end of the world. Yet the only real difference between it and a stomach bug is the stigma of having caught it through sex. Shigella is a perfect example of this, because it gets to be both: if caught sexually (e.g. through rimming) it gets treated as a disgusting sex disease. Yet there are plenty of other ways to catch it, including from a door handle used by someone who didn't wash their hands properly after going to the toilet.

Syphilis and gonorrhoea are not the end of the world. HIV and Hepatitis B are the life changing ones that you're actually likely to catch through sex. And we have PrEP (at least twice as safe as condoms) and a vaccine for those.

Ok first things first... I never once discussed treatment with antibiotics. You were talking about a vaccine. That’s entirely different!

I never said oral without wasn’t without risk. But the chance of transmission is at its highest via anal sex, then vaginal, then oral. And you make exactly the point I said. That engaging in all 3 without puts you at a significantly higher risk of infection.

But mostly, if you genuinely think treatment after you’ve caught something is the right way to deal with the risk of sexually transmitted infections and diseases?! Wow. I’m speechless.

We clearly have very very different opinions on the correct way to deal with risks in these situations so I’ll be leaving this conversation here. "

I just don't see how anyone can be into the swinging lifestyle and then get on their high horse about other people's risk taking behaviours. Not when the only 'safe sex' is abstinence or true monogamy (after testing.)

We all get to find our balance of risk vs reward in this.The only person I'll condemn is someone who continues to have sex while knowingly infectious.

You've not mentioned antibiotics. You've conveniently ignored them, and are now trying to side-step the issue. I'm bringing them into the discussion, where they rightly belong. PrEP, regular testing, and treatment where needed, is a valid strategy against most STI's. I'd say someone who uses condoms but never, ever gets tested is being more reckless with their own and other people's health than someone who gets vaccinated, correctly uses PrEP, and gets screened for everything possible every 3 months.

Furthermore, the NHS staff who do the screenings agree that this is a more responsible attitude than assuming condoms worked, and not bothering to get regularly tested.

But by all means carry on having unprotected oral and thinking you won't catch or pass on anything. Just don't fall off that horse.

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By *hris1984xMan  over a year ago

milton keynes

This us assuming that most people read the profile!

Back to the comment of sage or safe sex what do you think that relates to?

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple  over a year ago

Chester


"This us assuming that most people read the profile!

Back to the comment of sage or safe sex what do you think that relates to? "

To lots think it whilst not driving

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