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Opening message for women?
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What sort of opening message do women prefer?
I read on women's profiles complaints about one liners, crude, or just a hi how are you, type of messages they hate.
Come and tell, what sort of opening message do women prefer? |
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I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice? |
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"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?"
To be fair, this topic comes up at least once a week, so that might be why it hasn’t got more interest.
As for what women prefer, we’re all individuals so what we prefer will vary from person to person. However, I think it’s pretty safe to say that things we almost all dislike in a first message include: dick pics; “hi” as the entire message (see also, “WUU2”, “want to meet?” etc); copy and paste messages (we can tell); blatantly ignoring our profiles; grossly sexual messages from total strangers; “can I ask you a question?”; repeated messages if we delete the first one.
What we do like, and I’m pretty sure most would agree with this, is being treated like people not a hole, and as individuals. How would you strike up a conversation with a stranger in person? Better yet, how would you strike up a conversation with someone you aren’t trying to fuck? Try that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?
To be fair, this topic comes up at least once a week, so that might be why it hasn’t got more interest.
As for what women prefer, we’re all individuals so what we prefer will vary from person to person. However, I think it’s pretty safe to say that things we almost all dislike in a first message include: dick pics; “hi” as the entire message (see also, “WUU2”, “want to meet?” etc); copy and paste messages (we can tell); blatantly ignoring our profiles; grossly sexual messages from total strangers; “can I ask you a question?”; repeated messages if we delete the first one.
What we do like, and I’m pretty sure most would agree with this, is being treated like people not a hole, and as individuals. How would you strike up a conversation with a stranger in person? Better yet, how would you strike up a conversation with someone you aren’t trying to fuck? Try that."
yes well said same here |
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"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?
To be fair, this topic comes up at least once a week, so that might be why it hasn’t got more interest.
As for what women prefer, we’re all individuals so what we prefer will vary from person to person. However, I think it’s pretty safe to say that things we almost all dislike in a first message include: dick pics; “hi” as the entire message (see also, “WUU2”, “want to meet?” etc); copy and paste messages (we can tell); blatantly ignoring our profiles; grossly sexual messages from total strangers; “can I ask you a question?”; repeated messages if we delete the first one.
What we do like, and I’m pretty sure most would agree with this, is being treated like people not a hole, and as individuals. How would you strike up a conversation with a stranger in person? Better yet, how would you strike up a conversation with someone you aren’t trying to fuck? Try that."
This is excellent advice. In essence, many women put considerable effort into their profile and in many cases in tends to give a lot of information about what the person is actually interested in so the simplest way is to read profiles for guidance.
And yes, anyone with even a month's experience with online messages on any platform can tell copy-pasta right away as well as obvious fantasists, pen-pals and people who are boring and are only interested in their own titillation.
Of course, everyone has different preferences and every woman is an individual but real (not pretend) respect goes a long way. The problem with first messages is that it is very hard to undo a bad first impression.
I can see some posters on the forum lamenting the effort they have to put in but I have no sympathy for them - if you do not want to put any effort into your correspondence which is easy enough to do by spending a little time on the phone or computer, what sort of lover/play partner are you going to be? Bad sex is not what people are looking for, I am very sure of that. And no, whatever" cock is nowhere near enough for good sex, surely that must be obvious.
I think I can say with reasonable confidence that there are two universal qualities that most women hate - and those are selfishness and lazyness. They come across very clearly in messages. |
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"
I can see some posters on the forum lamenting the effort they have to put in but I have no sympathy for them - if you do not want to put any effort into your correspondence which is easy enough to do by spending a little time on the phone or computer, what sort of lover/play partner are you going to be? Bad sex is not what people are looking for, I am very sure of that. And no, whatever" cock is nowhere near enough for good sex, surely that must be obvious.
I think I can say with reasonable confidence that there are two universal qualities that most women hate - and those are selfishness and lazyness. They come across very clearly in messages."
Exactly this! I always say if people can’t put in the effort to read my profile and write a decent message, I assume they’re not going to put any effort into a meet either. I don’t want to meet lazy, impatient, selfish people. Yes, at the most badic level, I’m here to meet people for sex. But I’m not here to be a fleshlight with a pulse for anyone and everyone who contacts me but who can’t be bothered to put even minimal effort in. |
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"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?"
When I receive a message (which I get hundreds a day) the majority of them are hi how are you. Or fancy riding my cock or equivalent. I get it, we're here to have fun. However! When every man sends you the same message (and couples too) then can you imagine writing yeah I'm good thanks to hundreds of people a day? So people complaining about not getting replies kinda deserve it in my opinion.
Then we move onto the next thing. People are rude. I've had loads of horrible messages, not that they bother me it's just fact. Then you have arranged meets and guys not showing up...
So when someone sends me hi how are you, its not necessarily that I'm not interested. Its more... If they can't be bothered to write a message for a few mins then how much effort are they going to put into sex?.. Not much is the answer.
As a woman it takes me an hour to shower and sort my hair and do makeup (which isn't long I suppose in the scheme of things) and tbf I'm not overly girly. But then when you spend an hour getting ready then go to a meet and it lasts 5 mins... Do you understand where I'm coming from?
To get a reply from me it has to be a thought out message. So it's an insight into that person. Why are they here? What are they looking for? What kind of person are they? Do our interests match.
Yes I'm here for sex. But it's also about connection and effort. 
Hope that helps.
Also that is not JUST aimed at guys. Couples and women are just as bad. |
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By *bob1202Man
over a year ago
Blackburn |
Hi All, like the OP I wonder what is the correct way to send an opening message. Let's be honest our goal here is sex and intimacy so I believe my introduction letter should be the same. I'm not after a one off I'm after a regular meet with partner so the sex can improve, perhaps it might be an idea if I put this on my profile lol. My challenge is finding a profile that gives me a platform to connect on. Women are equally as guilty of creating a profile saying recently seperated looking for fun. So instead of flooding the local searches tapping up everything that I think I fit with I choose my partners carefully. However herein lies the rub, and although I'm seeking a partner to possibly connect with and I'm more selective in my opening gambit, others arent and the poor subject is so inundated with messages that mine is often ignored and not read. Tell me ladies is there a secret to making your letter different from others, to draw their attention, to stop them deleting it before reading. This is not a whinge by the way a simple cry for direction and advice. Thankyou anyone that responds. |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"We get lots of, not even one liners, ‘hey’ or howzit going never fails, guaranteed we drop everything to meet up"
Ahh so that's where I'm going wrong I'll keep it to hey’s and howzit going from now on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's best to send a few normal photos (ie not cocks next to cans) a d just a hello. If they like how you look they will reply. If they don't they don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Getting our attention on here is quite simple - if the guy reads our profile text rather than just perv the pictures then he’ll know what we’re looking for. We spell it out clearly. It’s not rocket science. Be polite, be realistic, be patient. Realise that a popular profile can get loads of messages, and I mean loads. To reply to everyone would require a PA. We try to reply to everyone that has made an effort and has read our profile even if it’s a polite no thanks. But when it comes down to it - take it on the chin, move on and realise that there’s someone for everyone on here but quite often it takes a lot of effort to find them. Good luck x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's best to send a few normal photos (ie not cocks next to cans) a d just a hello. If they like how you look they will reply. If they don't they don't "
 |
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"I think it's best to send a few normal photos (ie not cocks next to cans) a d just a hello. If they like how you look they will reply. If they don't they don't "
Just a hello? Dude’s gonna have to look like Jason Momoa to get me to reply to just “hello”. I don’t even reply to women who can only manage “hello”. |
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"Hi All, like the OP I wonder what is the correct way to send an opening message. Let's be honest our goal here is sex and intimacy so I believe my introduction letter should be the same. I'm not after a one off I'm after a regular meet with partner so the sex can improve, perhaps it might be an idea if I put this on my profile lol. My challenge is finding a profile that gives me a platform to connect on. Women are equally as guilty of creating a profile saying recently seperated looking for fun. So instead of flooding the local searches tapping up everything that I think I fit with I choose my partners carefully. However herein lies the rub, and although I'm seeking a partner to possibly connect with and I'm more selective in my opening gambit, others arent and the poor subject is so inundated with messages that mine is often ignored and not read. Tell me ladies is there a secret to making your letter different from others, to draw their attention, to stop them deleting it before reading. This is not a whinge by the way a simple cry for direction and advice. Thankyou anyone that responds."
You could have been looking over my shoulder writing the above. Its as good as word for word the way I think about messaging.
Getting my message read in the first place is hard enough. I know within 30 minute my message is so far down the pile it's never going to see light. Sometimes I loiter for a profile to be on line and then message.
I've been doing fab about 4 years. I've written more than Shakespeare in that time, yes some of it is copy and paste. Women only have to delete that takes seconds, less than that when they do mass deletes. Us men spend hours writing.
I've never complained, no point.
I've never been rude, why would anyone do that?
I've read the profile, written appropriately, and get deleted.
My most popular reply is, thank you for your lovely message but your not for us. I'd rather get that than nothing.
Thanks to all that have made positive suggestions.
I'm not going away, there has to be that one woman that wants me, one day. In truth there has but not what I call long term. |
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"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?
To be fair, this topic comes up at least once a week, so that might be why it hasn’t got more interest.
As for what women prefer, we’re all individuals so what we prefer will vary from person to person. However, I think it’s pretty safe to say that things we almost all dislike in a first message include: dick pics; “hi” as the entire message (see also, “WUU2”, “want to meet?” etc); copy and paste messages (we can tell); blatantly ignoring our profiles; grossly sexual messages from total strangers; “can I ask you a question?”; repeated messages if we delete the first one.
What we do like, and I’m pretty sure most would agree with this, is being treated like people not a hole, and as individuals. How would you strike up a conversation with a stranger in person? Better yet, how would you strike up a conversation with someone you aren’t trying to fuck? Try that.
This is excellent advice. In essence, many women put considerable effort into their profile and in many cases in tends to give a lot of information about what the person is actually interested in so the simplest way is to read profiles for guidance.
And yes, anyone with even a month's experience with online messages on any platform can tell copy-pasta right away as well as obvious fantasists, pen-pals and people who are boring and are only interested in their own titillation.
Of course, everyone has different preferences and every woman is an individual but real (not pretend) respect goes a long way. The problem with first messages is that it is very hard to undo a bad first impression.
I can see some posters on the forum lamenting the effort they have to put in but I have no sympathy for them - if you do not want to put any effort into your correspondence which is easy enough to do by spending a little time on the phone or computer, what sort of lover/play partner are you going to be? Bad sex is not what people are looking for, I am very sure of that. And no, whatever" cock is nowhere near enough for good sex, surely that must be obvious.
I think I can say with reasonable confidence that there are two universal qualities that most women hate - and those are selfishness and lazyness. They come across very clearly in messages."
|
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"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?"
As noted above, this topic is done regularly enough that those who wanted to find out what *some* women want to hear in messages would find it in previous posts. Not all women are the same.
Not all men have this issue, far from it! The problem is more likely that some men don't think out of the box in sending a first message, so women have an easier time finding the ones who do.
Be yourself, read your message before sending it and ask yourself if, honestly, you would respond to that message, or go on to one that is more interesting/funny/better written.
Good luck.
|
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"Hi All, like the OP I wonder what is the correct way to send an opening message. Let's be honest our goal here is sex and intimacy so I believe my introduction letter should be the same. I'm not after a one off I'm after a regular meet with partner so the sex can improve, perhaps it might be an idea if I put this on my profile lol. My challenge is finding a profile that gives me a platform to connect on. Women are equally as guilty of creating a profile saying recently seperated looking for fun. So instead of flooding the local searches tapping up everything that I think I fit with I choose my partners carefully. However herein lies the rub, and although I'm seeking a partner to possibly connect with and I'm more selective in my opening gambit, others arent and the poor subject is so inundated with messages that mine is often ignored and not read. Tell me ladies is there a secret to making your letter different from others, to draw their attention, to stop them deleting it before reading. This is not a whinge by the way a simple cry for direction and advice. Thankyou anyone that responds.
You could have been looking over my shoulder writing the above. Its as good as word for word the way I think about messaging.
Getting my message read in the first place is hard enough. I know within 30 minute my message is so far down the pile it's never going to see light. Sometimes I loiter for a profile to be on line and then message.
I've been doing fab about 4 years. I've written more than Shakespeare in that time, yes some of it is copy and paste. Women only have to delete that takes seconds, less than that when they do mass deletes. Us men spend hours writing.
I've never complained, no point.
I've never been rude, why would anyone do that?
I've read the profile, written appropriately, and get deleted.
My most popular reply is, thank you for your lovely message but your not for us. I'd rather get that than nothing.
Thanks to all that have made positive suggestions.
I'm not going away, there has to be that one woman that wants me, one day. In truth there has but not what I call long term."
True, you could write an well executed first message, if the person isn't attracted to you or something on your profile puts them off, the most you get is the rejection message you mentioned.
Personally, I always wink and see if they wink or message back. Then start chatting properly.
I leave humour out on the first message as it can be often misread.
Good luck op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Use open questions ones that provoke a response where there is an urge to answer it and preferably ones where the other person has to think. And yes try to make is sexual without coming across like a cling on or needy. We might all be individuals but the one thing we all have in common here is fulfilling sexual desires. |
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"What sort of opening message do women prefer?
I read on women's profiles complaints about one liners, crude, or just a hi how are you, type of messages they hate.
Come and tell, what sort of opening message do women prefer?"
It starts with, "Are we sitting comfortably, then I shall begin, "Once upon a time"*? |
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"there isn't one message suits all it should be individual to the person. "
You are a goddess, aphrodite in the flesh and I would love to drink the ambrosia from your love cup as you produce it, whilst gazing up into your eyes. There is no such thing as a young Stradivarius and yet they play the best music. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me, personally, I’m more inclined to reply to a message from someone who has obviously read my profile. Those that start with ‘what are you looking for?’, along with the one liners, get short shrift from me.
Just as an add on to that, if your profile is bare, or contains one line such as ‘NSA meets’ or ‘I’ll fill this in later’, you’re gonna be ignored by me, regardless of how much effort is put into a message.
I know not all women are the same, but that’s my preference |
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By *ornsMan
over a year ago
west Midlands |
I pride myself in being polite, I read all profiles and statuses yet most women either delete or read and do not respond. I do not for one minute believe that what we say in a message has any bearing on getting an answer! If it did then there would be a lot of hypocrites on here. Op we are not the hunters on here, we are the hunted, if we look pleasing to the eyes then we will get a response, if not , you could write in gold, you will get none. All this read my profile etc naa dies not work, and ladies I hear you, many of us are our worst enemies with our rude and condescending messages and yes it is your right not to respond, but for gods sake do not tarnish us all with the rotten stick, some of us do not deserve this. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"What sort of opening message do women prefer?
I read on women's profiles complaints about one liners, crude, or just a hi how are you, type of messages they hate.
Come and tell, what sort of opening message do women prefer?"
Get your knickers off your on next. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?
To be fair, this topic comes up at least once a week, so that might be why it hasn’t got more interest.
As for what women prefer, we’re all individuals so what we prefer will vary from person to person. However, I think it’s pretty safe to say that things we almost all dislike in a first message include: dick pics; “hi” as the entire message (see also, “WUU2”, “want to meet?” etc); copy and paste messages (we can tell); blatantly ignoring our profiles; grossly sexual messages from total strangers; “can I ask you a question?”; repeated messages if we delete the first one.
What we do like, and I’m pretty sure most would agree with this, is being treated like people not a hole, and as individuals. How would you strike up a conversation with a stranger in person? Better yet, how would you strike up a conversation with someone you aren’t trying to fuck? Try that."
To be honest this is what I do, introduce myself like I would in person, have always read their profile before I message, so I'm at least relevant, attach face pic and leave for them to decide. Mostly I get some form of reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had hoped this thread would be more popular.
What I had not taken into account is almost all men have problems making contact with women and couples. I'm going to have to rethink this and come up with a better title for my next thread.
So, the opening message is dependent on how it will be recieved with each recipient. Men dont have a snowballs chance in hell. How are we supposed to break the ice?"
Personally, I hate when a message just says "Hi" or "Hey you". |
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I'm not an expert, but only message people who you think you'd fit with. If you're messaging a couple who primarily want to meet couples, then as a single man you're setting up to not get a reply. Don't be crude, don't have dick pics around in your message or profile - they can be for later, avoid action shots that are mostly of someone else, and try and be funny.
And don't take it seriously. Its fun not life or death, and you need to treat it like that. |
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