Hello! After 2 years of being here and just not getting anywhere, I've decided to ask what i'm doing wrong. I've had a few messages on here that ultimately have lead to nowhere, been ghosted after agreeing to meet then blocked once but most of all, not getting replies at all.
I don't have face pictures because of privacy but will send if asked, I'm also aware that I'm not exactly the biggest built fella but surely not everyone is into that kinda thing? I do change my profile regularly and try different approaches but nothing has worked.
I've had better success off here so i'm confused as to how to actually use the site and get meets etc.
I'd be really grateful for any advice given as this site is starting to affect my confidence, which mentally isn't very good. It may be that I'm just not right for here.
Thanks for reading. 
P.S Obviously i'm not looking to meet right now due to the current situation but would rather ask now ready for when we can.  |
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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago
Leeds + Newcastle |
To be honest, your kink list will probably put most people off if they don't match
There's very else "normal" written in your profile especially not about vanilla things you can offer or look for.
Status about messaging everyone won't get you far either |
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I never reply to anyone who makes such a fuss about being a Dom, especially not when they have their BDSM test results on their profile, and most of all not when they’re as young as you. Do you think you’re displaying a good amount of BDSM knowledge and experience by saying you’ll make “naughty girls” your “mistress”? Mistress is a title for a Domme, not something you call someone you expect to be allowed to spank. |
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As everyone above has said, your use of wrong terminology and excessive use of the word Dom, puts me off hugely.
You are going to attract a very small amount of people with your kinks, even smaller when they realise you don't appear to know what you are talking about. |
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Thanks everyone for reading, it is true that i'm still inexperienced with this, so my terminology may not be correct.
I have now updated my profile to something that I hope is at least a little more palatable.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good to see that you're taking advice of others on board.
Your first paragraph is not needed - you are just mentioning everything that is already in your bio. No need to repeat yourself.
Adding more pictures wouldn't hurt - ass or legs.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are approaching this the wrong way....
Every man signs up to sex/swinging site then immediately start chasing women/couples..So you literally have 100 million men online currently looking for sex.... So how do you standout from the rest? YOU ....... Think outside the box....
Stop begging these people for attention.... Don’t send them messages, don’t wink , and don’t like their pics..... Just ignore them ......
Let them come to you....
Constantly upload new pictures/videos and wait for people to approach you.....
Or you can keep changing your profile , on the advice of people on the forums.. That are not offering you sex...... |
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"You are approaching this the wrong way....
Every man signs up to sex/swinging site then immediately start chasing women/couples..So you literally have 100 million men online currently looking for sex.... So how do you standout from the rest? YOU ....... Think outside the box....
Stop begging these people for attention.... Don’t send them messages, don’t wink , and don’t like their pics..... Just ignore them ......
Let them come to you....
Constantly upload new pictures/videos and wait for people to approach you.....
Or you can keep changing your profile , on the advice of people on the forums.. That are not offering you sex......"
Really interesting way of approaching it, it's the only way i haven't tried too!  |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
Didn't see it before but its very boring! Literally the same as millions of other generic guy profiles, both the pics and the write up.
If your a really boring person then leave it as it is, if you have some kind of personality then that doesn't show right now. |
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"Didn't see it before but its very boring! Literally the same as millions of other generic guy profiles, both the pics and the write up.
If your a really boring person then leave it as it is, if you have some kind of personality then that doesn't show right now."
So what would your perfect single guy's profile look like? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Didn't see it before but its very boring! Literally the same as millions of other generic guy profiles, both the pics and the write up.
If your a really boring person then leave it as it is, if you have some kind of personality then that doesn't show right now.
So what would your perfect single guy's profile look like?"
Honest question.... if she doesn’t want to meet you .... What does her opinion and advice on your profile effect you?
She is going to give you her opinion on a profile that she is attracted too.....
Do you see my point? |
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"Didn't see it before but its very boring! Literally the same as millions of other generic guy profiles, both the pics and the write up.
If your a really boring person then leave it as it is, if you have some kind of personality then that doesn't show right now.
So what would your perfect single guy's profile look like?
Honest question.... if she doesn’t want to meet you .... What does her opinion and advice on your profile effect you?
She is going to give you her opinion on a profile that she is attracted too.....
Do you see my point?"
Yeah I get it, what does it for one doesn't for another etc. Just after various profile changes etc and no luck. I thought I'd ask the community for general advice. |
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Rule 1. Don't let the site impact your wellbeing to any great extent. Ideally, it would not at all. Take some steps to monitor how you are and move off, before you become at risk. Take a pause and return when refreshed and stronger. It's really important now due to the high level of awful things going on.
2. It's good that you've experimented with changes, though ideally you'd see some improvements from some of them. Don't give up.
3. Check it regularly, to ensure it's accurate. Do you still need to have that you are new to the scene, for instance, after over a year?
3. Sell yourself as well as you are able to. People will want to know why they should choose you.
Don't overdo the cock pics - many people aren't that interested in them.
It's lockdown at the moment, so everyone here will be in restraint. Single men outnumber others and will be especially feeling that it's close to impossible.
Don't hurt yourself by being here. It's always been very hard for you single men - it's magnified many times over this year. If you can find someone to chat with about this, even if it's just a moan, do it. Take care. Sophie x |
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"Rule 1. Don't let the site impact your wellbeing to any great extent. Ideally, it would not at all. Take some steps to monitor how you are and move off, before you become at risk. Take a pause and return when refreshed and stronger. It's really important now due to the high level of awful things going on.
2. It's good that you've experimented with changes, though ideally you'd see some improvements from some of them. Don't give up.
3. Check it regularly, to ensure it's accurate. Do you still need to have that you are new to the scene, for instance, after over a year?
3. Sell yourself as well as you are able to. People will want to know why they should choose you.
Don't overdo the cock pics - many people aren't that interested in them.
It's lockdown at the moment, so everyone here will be in restraint. Single men outnumber others and will be especially feeling that it's close to impossible.
Don't hurt yourself by being here. It's always been very hard for you single men - it's magnified many times over this year. If you can find someone to chat with about this, even if it's just a moan, do it. Take care. Sophie x"
Thanks for the detailed response, I would still consider myself new to the scene as I have no experience within it. Yes im not new to the site, which is the reason for the post.
I'm not sure whether to make a new profile to better reflect this, however not sure that would achieve much.
Just frustrating to really want to be apart of the scene yet the scene doesn't seem to want me no matter what I do.
Again, I want to reiterate that I wouldn't be meeting during this situation, just things would be the same regardless of whether covid happened or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been on here 5yrs.
My Profile changes as i wish.
My Photos change as i wish.
There is no right answer on here.
You could right "peanuts" 50 times some will laugh some wont get it some well really dont care.
Its not the profile its the person behind it that catches the reader.
..my profiles arsey.
1. I dont care what others think
2. Im a really nice person.
3. Chat in forums.. your personality will shine (or not).
4. Dont be a sheep..site is full of them.
Good luck.
Remember at least 100 men to 1 lady if not greater odds.
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"Been on here 5yrs.
My Profile changes as i wish.
My Photos change as i wish.
There is no right answer on here.
You could right "peanuts" 50 times some will laugh some wont get it some well really dont care.
Its not the profile its the person behind it that catches the reader.
..my profiles arsey.
1. I dont care what others think
2. Im a really nice person.
3. Chat in forums.. your personality will shine (or not).
4. Dont be a sheep..site is full of them.
Good luck.
Remember at least 100 men to 1 lady if not greater odds.
"
Like it haha, thanks. |
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"Rule 1. Don't let the site impact your wellbeing to any great extent. Ideally, it would not at all. Take some steps to monitor how you are and move off, before you become at risk. Take a pause and return when refreshed and stronger. It's really important now due to the high level of awful things going on.
2. It's good that you've experimented with changes, though ideally you'd see some improvements from some of them. Don't give up.
3. Check it regularly, to ensure it's accurate. Do you still need to have that you are new to the scene, for instance, after over a year?
3. Sell yourself as well as you are able to. People will want to know why they should choose you.
Don't overdo the cock pics - many people aren't that interested in them.
It's lockdown at the moment, so everyone here will be in restraint. Single men outnumber others and will be especially feeling that it's close to impossible.
Don't hurt yourself by being here. It's always been very hard for you single men - it's magnified many times over this year. If you can find someone to chat with about this, even if it's just a moan, do it. Take care. Sophie x
Thanks for the detailed response, I would still consider myself new to the scene as I have no experience within it. Yes im not new to the site, which is the reason for the post.
I'm not sure whether to make a new profile to better reflect this, however not sure that would achieve much.
Just frustrating to really want to be apart of the scene yet the scene doesn't seem to want me no matter what I do.
Again, I want to reiterate that I wouldn't be meeting during this situation, just things would be the same regardless of whether covid happened or not."
I think you can write this year off here, due to the virus. It's not about you being right or wrong for others, just that it's been a no-go year for everybody here. Don't let it grind you down at all. Spread your appeal more broadly, not just here. In more normal times, we'd recommend social events and clubs, to get to know people - those aren't avenues for you or others during this period. |
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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago
Weirdsville South Coast Dorset |
"Been on here 5yrs.
My Profile changes as i wish.
My Photos change as i wish.
There is no right answer on here.
You could right "peanuts" 50 times some will laugh some wont get it some well really dont care.
Its not the profile its the person behind it that catches the reader.
..my profiles arsey.
1. I dont care what others think
2. Im a really nice person.
3. Chat in forums.. your personality will shine (or not).
4. Dont be a sheep..site is full of them.
Good luck.
Remember at least 100 men to 1 lady if not greater odds.
"
 nail head! |
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