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Frustration from lack of sexual experience
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By *lujiz94 OP Man 9 weeks ago
Bishop's Stortford |
So, I'm a 31 year old guy, who is on the autistic spectrum. I've never properly had sex (i met with one woman on here, we got naked but i was so nervous i couldn't get a proper boner). At this point I'm pretty certain I'm just undesirable. I keep considering getting a pro because at least they'll be interested in me, albeit for money. But that's not really an option because I'm poor. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions? |
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By (user no longer on site) 9 weeks ago
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Ignor the fake shit you see out there even on here. It’s not all amazing sex and fun. And what you think want etc and nerves etc are normal. And things not working no matter how horny you are is also quite normal. That’s real life. Real sex etc. too many people are quick to judge or react in a shit way like they are owed something or a certain “performance”
Chatting messages calls etc with someone creating a click related chilled no pressure or judgment and exploring that way what each other likes can be a good way to start things and hopefully knowing each other better and any trust etc built will make a real physical meet better.
And also even if you still meet but are nervous etc, even if something doesn’t work, you both can still have fun and massively enjoy the time
What is it your wanting to try or explore? |
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I have Autism/ Aspergers myself , I was diagnosed in my late teens. I have similar problems with been a kidney transplant recipient , I was born with kidney failure which was picked up on my mums scan before I was born . Due to the large amounts of operations Ive had I have to use medication called Sindenifil ( viagra ) which does help to an extent , anxiety & mental health doesn’t help . |
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You are still only young up, my cousin is also on the autism spectrum and a good looking fella, I don’t know who he’s been with but he did get married, so don’t let any little setbacks put you off, you’ve a long time to explore everything yet, good luck for the future |
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It's hard (pardon the pun) for men on here at the best of times. Try tinder if you just want a few hook ups. Then when you have more experience come back here, your increased sexualising confidence will then help you  |
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By *lujiz94 OP Man 9 weeks ago
Bishop's Stortford |
"It's hard (pardon the pun) for men on here at the best of times. Try tinder if you just want a few hook ups. Then when you have more experience come back here, your increased sexualising confidence will then help you "
I've not had any luck on tinder either, Even though I've been on there for a few years now |
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Hi pal. I'm going through the process of seeking a diagnosis at present (what a joy that is) and I couldn't not comment. I find it really hard to be able to properly connect with people, and when I was younger used sex as a way to compensate for that. Like I couldn't connect emotionally but I felt like I *had* to give them something.
I struggle with being touched too, there's only a couple of people I'm truly comfortable with like that.
Honestly typing this I don't know why I'm here lol.
I think ultimately you're doing the right thing by putting yourself out there and you'll find your people/person in due course. Don't limit it to just here/tinder though, be open minded to connections with people you meet IRL (without forcing those connections obviously).
I know my situation is different, but I feel like I know how you feel. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a body so I wouldn't need to worry about it. |
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By *lujiz94 OP Man 9 weeks ago
Bishop's Stortford |
"Hi pal. I'm going through the process of seeking a diagnosis at present (what a joy that is) and I couldn't not comment. I find it really hard to be able to properly connect with people, and when I was younger used sex as a way to compensate for that. Like I couldn't connect emotionally but I felt like I *had* to give them something.
I struggle with being touched too, there's only a couple of people I'm truly comfortable with like that.
Honestly typing this I don't know why I'm here lol.
I think ultimately you're doing the right thing by putting yourself out there and you'll find your people/person in due course. Don't limit it to just here/tinder though, be open minded to connections with people you meet IRL (without forcing those connections obviously).
I know my situation is different, but I feel like I know how you feel. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a body so I wouldn't need to worry about it. "
Thanks, I'm sorry to hear that you're waiting for a diagnosis. I really struggle to meet people in real life, mostly due to my aspergers. |
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By *lujiz94 OP Man 9 weeks ago
Bishop's Stortford |
"I get it. Do you work? I met one of my comfort people through my job (though we don't directly work together) which is what I mean about being openminded x"
I've been out of work since January. I have tried to talk to people, but either I'm to nervous, and on occasion where I do talk to people they are usually already in relationships. |
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Honestly? Here might not be the best place to build your confidence. Not being unkind (far from it) but it can be a tough environment if you may struggle to deal with it. Concentrate on yourself and being you. There are others in real life who feel the same way you do. You will find each other |
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By *lujiz94 OP Man 9 weeks ago
Bishop's Stortford |
I'm pretty strongly considering going to a professional (I've already spoken to a few who are willing to help) But I'd really like to have some intimate sex with someone because they want to, not just because there's money involved |
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