FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Married and wife gone off sex completely
Married and wife gone off sex completely
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
| |||
"It's not just me then" No. Same boat for a couple of years. Didn’t want to pester her. So I have now been on here for a while. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control." How are these men being controlled? They feel free to seek sex elsewhere | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way " Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know. I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way. | |||
| |||
"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know. I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way."  I think that's a very interesting question, but maybe you should answer it in private | |||
"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know. I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way. I think that's a very interesting question, but maybe you should answer it in private"Answer my own question?  | |||
| |||
"I lost my sex drive when I was with my second partner. I left him in 1998. I realised it wasn't going to work because I had gone off him, not sex. As soon as I met someone who I found attractive I was back on the horse. Riding. I've never gone off sex but I have gone off people." My wife lost interest in sex with her last husband, but then had an affair with his best friend. She split from her husband and I met her, she was a horny slur and I loved it. She used to still fuck her ex husbands friend and also met people in clubs with me etc. but now she has no interest in me and says she doe t want sex with others, but I agree that if she met the right guy, it would get her back enjoying sex. I’d love her to find someone to reignite her sex drive. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Now I just need to find the elusive willing female" I'd change your profile pic then! | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"My wife and I haven’t had sex for years. We love each other as much as we ever have and get on really well, but I miss the intimacy. I can cope without the sex but sadly we never kiss, never cuddle, never touch each other intimately with the exception of she let me shave her before we went on holiday in readiness for us going nude on the beach. The only other thing we do is hold hands. I’ve accepted it now but it still upsets me. I live in eternal hope that one day things will change " I feel for you, since opening this post I realise there are men worse off than me! I hope things improve for you. | |||
| |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control." Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about! | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Exactly the same menopause and no sex for neatly 2 years she doesn't understand how bad it makes me fell " Communicate this with her. | |||
| |||
| |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control. Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about!" It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence. | |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control. Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about! It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence. " I wonder how much control *some* men are exerting by withholding emotional intimacy. The hand holding, laying in each others arms talking about how you feel and listening to each other, holding each other and not expecting it to lead to sex, intimate discussions about how each other feels that sort of thing. No man should feel he has to do these things but there will be consequences if he doesn't . | |||
| |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control. Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about! It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence. I wonder how much control *some* men are exerting by withholding emotional intimacy. The hand holding, laying in each others arms talking about how you feel and listening to each other, holding each other and not expecting it to lead to sex, intimate discussions about how each other feels that sort of thing. No man should feel he has to do these things but there will be consequences if he doesn't ." Absolutely. 2 sides to every story... | |||
| |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control. Never heard such rubbish and yes I know what I’m talking about! It's not control as in making someone do something, but it is a form of control in that some women are restricting someone from doing something they want to do because the woman doesn't feel like doing it. Now, on a one off basis that's OK but when it starts to get to years and some cases here, decades, those women are still expecting that man to accept it and be faithful. It's completely unrealistic. Of course that's just a general view, everyone will have different reasons why it's happening and why they are still putting up with it. And I must add no woman should feel like they HAVE to do it, but there is a consequence. I wonder how much control *some* men are exerting by withholding emotional intimacy. The hand holding, laying in each others arms talking about how you feel and listening to each other, holding each other and not expecting it to lead to sex, intimate discussions about how each other feels that sort of thing. No man should feel he has to do these things but there will be consequences if he doesn't ."  | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Not had sex with my wife for over 11yrs! Due to her arthritis which makes sex painful for her! I would love some fun but no one on here is interested in married men! And then you get others who condemn you for cheating!" Same length of time without sex with my wife. Totally agree no one (m or f) seem interested. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Is she getting it elsewhere???" I’ve always wondered about this as I’ve spoken to many women that can’t imagine going one week without any sex | |||
She keeps telling me to go find people for fun, but always feel guilty at the thought of it, so I haven’t been able to pull the trigger.
It gets to me at times because I feel I’ve missed out in a big part of life, when I was at my prime
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Hi - female of the couple here. For fear of sounding like a stuck record / boring any other reasons we are all wired differently, yes we are all human but when things happen we react differently. I was in a marriage and no sex after had kids, my confidence died, felt undesirable and my battery operated boyfriend was my best friend 😉🤭 We split, I met someone else and our sex life has been amazing, we’ve also been on here after taking about sharing with others and it works for us. I am also going through the menopause, the array of symptoms and advice you get is huge and not one potion, lotion or tablet necessarily fits all. I consider myself to have been extremely lucky in having a GP who was trained to deal with menopause and listened and I (after trying a couple of things) got what I needed to resolve or at least make a massive positive to get rid of my symptoms. I know the ‘menopause’ story isn’t the same one for all but please even if your lovely lady says she doesn’t want sex, start with small steps, sometimes just the support and encouragement can help as a lot of women won’t go to get help for various reasons (embarrassment, taboo to talk about it etc) but there is so much more help out there now thanks to ambassadors talking about it. Find out more about it, so you as the man who loves her knows more about it. I’m not saying men don’t have any issues that also need support from their partners, everyone always needs something but just a little insight from a woman’s point of view - hope it helps, sent with kindness 😊" Great post | |||
| |||
| |||
"I my in the same boat 5 years but got a leg over 1 month back couldn’t really call it that as she came then just rolled over didn’t try to make me cum I like the thought that it’s control over us never thought of it that way Can you explain in what way you feel controlled? I'm not disagreeing I'd genuinely like to know. I can understand that a woman or man might withhold sex to try and make a partner do something e.g. 'I'm not having sex with you until you but me a pair of Jimmy Choos/new car/Harley' and controlling that way." I F54 sort of understand this thinking. I fully understand women losing their sexual drive and appetite. I have battled with the menopause for the last four years. But to deny all sex with your hubby is a choice you make over them. I cannot imagine having gone through that time and offering my hubby nothing and just saying well that’s how it is now tough our marriage no longer includes sex. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I feel my wife was not too well informed by her surgeon when told she had pre-cancerous cells after a smear test. She had a hysterectomy and that's when it all ceased. Before the opportunity she was a nympho and we used to enjoy swinging meets, clubs and parties. I love her so much and miss how she was and will never give up on her. We do have sex, but very rarely now. Although on here I've yet to meet a woman or couple. As much as I'd like to meet someone for fun I haven't yet. It's been 15 or 16 years since I was last intimate with another woman." So you’d rather she didn’t have the hysterectomy and died of cancer as long as you kept getting your hole. | |||
| |||
"Male half of a highly sexed couple (10 times a week before any swinging play), who have made it through children and menopause and are fucking like never before, here to give some advice. My advice. Ditch the account on here first. It’s clearly not in line with my later points. Affection…. Make her the centre of your world (she ain’t if you are on here), stop wanking (this makes you focus on her), put her on a pedestal, show the whole world that’s where she is for you, make massive public points of affection, go and kiss her neck when at parties and she is talking to other people or at the supermarket - wherever (on the beach the other day I walked up kissed her and smacked her arse - in front of everyone, she loved it), build total trust that you have got her and are not thinking of anyone else Sex…. Once you have built enough trust and her being safe in the knowledge of where she is for you. Tell her you would like to reset your sex life and understand more about her needs. Ask her what she fantasises about, what turns her on. I didn’t know my wife fantasised about being dominated until I asked. She will tell you if she trusts you to not kink shame her. Forget what you find a turn on. Find out what turns her on. Once she tells you, go and research how to do it. I’ve read up on talking dirty, dominating behaviour, specific scenarios, etc. I’ve become the man she fantasised about in the bedroom, but never felt she could tell me. Stamina….. To deliver what she asks for will possibly require you getting a hold on your orgasm control. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, and some mental work. Wanking is the best way to become premature - it is purely for you, so why control it? Hence stopping wanking. It’s not necessarily a catch 22 - no sex, so cum quickly. You can learn to control it. The aim is to be able to perform for as long as it takes and then cum when she is ready. Oral….. Buy the book “she comes first”, don’t think that giving good oral is a god given knowledge. Read it, learn it, show her you have. A friend who I gave some advice to bought it and put it on his bedside table. His partner saw it and was interested - it worked. Massage….. Take the time to give her an hour long massage (at least), with no sex at the end of it. Don’t even get naked or hard. Hands on skin, candles, oil. Again, it shows her you are focussed 100% on her needs. Build a deep emotional connection with physical touch. That’s our journey. I’m seriously sad to hear all your comments. And I am happy to advise at all if that can help. Marriages can last as long as we live, and sex can continue to get better and better, but it takes 2 things to underpin it. Observation - study and listen to your partner. Adaptation - do things differently and notice how she reacts (back to observation) Not wishing to preach or gloat - just wanting to help anyone I can." I’m sorry but you are way off, certainly as far as my wife and I are concerned. I’m pleased for you that you’ve gone through life and are enjoying a healthy sex life, but everyone’s circumstances are different and more importantly, every woman is different. I’m absolutely certain that no woman has ever got married hoping that one day she won’t want to make love. I might be totally wrong but I see it as a sort of ailment, a medical issue (for want of a better term), and there is no one-shop-fix for it. As far as we are concerned, my wife’s menopause coincided with 2 other things which had a big impact on us, we were having financial difficulties for one, and my mother who lived with us was going downhill with dementia. My wife was brilliant with my mother, looked after her constantly until she died, but it drained her. Fast forward 12 years and we don’t quite have the financial difficulties we did, but we are both so busy. We get on better with each other than we ever have. We are each other’s rock, and I do comfort her as much as I can. We hold hands in public but she doesn’t want to kiss me at home, let alone in front of anyone. Smack her ass! Err, no. She would absolutely hate that and that would only result in a big fall out. I’ve tried to talk about fantasies, she didn’t have any and wasn’t interested in mine. Oral? Before we married we never had penetrative sex, but she would stroke me and let me perform oral on her. She loved it, had numerous orgasms every time, we would spend ages enjoying it together. However since we married and made love for the first time that was it, she never let me anywhere near her pussy with any part of my anatomy other than my cock, and trust me I tried many many times. In terms of performing oral on me, that has never ever happened, not even tried it, it’s something that has always been a major turn off. The only thing I can relate with you on is massage. She does enjoy that and is the only time I can touch her. I’ve bought oils etc and she loves it, as do I because I can feel her lovely smooth skin. I get hard, I can’t help it, but the massage is never going to be a prelude to making love, it’s purely to relax her and soothe her. I’ve tried to talk to her about it many many times. I’ve cried in bed because I want intimacy with my wife. I’m actually welling up now just typing this. I really don’t think it will ever change now but it won’t stop me loving her as much as I ever have. With regards to being on here, I’ve never met anyone and it’s highly unlikely I ever will. But I enjoy the forums and the stories. Maybe this is where I can have my own fantasies. | |||
"Male half of a highly sexed couple (10 times a week before any swinging play), who have made it through children and menopause and are fucking like never before, here to give some advice. My advice. Ditch the account on here first. It’s clearly not in line with my later points. Affection…. Make her the centre of your world (she ain’t if you are on here), stop wanking (this makes you focus on her), put her on a pedestal, show the whole world that’s where she is for you, make massive public points of affection, go and kiss her neck when at parties and she is talking to other people or at the supermarket - wherever (on the beach the other day I walked up kissed her and smacked her arse - in front of everyone, she loved it), build total trust that you have got her and are not thinking of anyone else Sex…. Once you have built enough trust and her being safe in the knowledge of where she is for you. Tell her you would like to reset your sex life and understand more about her needs. Ask her what she fantasises about, what turns her on. I didn’t know my wife fantasised about being dominated until I asked. She will tell you if she trusts you to not kink shame her. Forget what you find a turn on. Find out what turns her on. Once she tells you, go and research how to do it. I’ve read up on talking dirty, dominating behaviour, specific scenarios, etc. I’ve become the man she fantasised about in the bedroom, but never felt she could tell me. Stamina….. To deliver what she asks for will possibly require you getting a hold on your orgasm control. Pelvic floor muscle exercises, and some mental work. Wanking is the best way to become premature - it is purely for you, so why control it? Hence stopping wanking. It’s not necessarily a catch 22 - no sex, so cum quickly. You can learn to control it. The aim is to be able to perform for as long as it takes and then cum when she is ready. Oral….. Buy the book “she comes first”, don’t think that giving good oral is a god given knowledge. Read it, learn it, show her you have. A friend who I gave some advice to bought it and put it on his bedside table. His partner saw it and was interested - it worked. Massage….. Take the time to give her an hour long massage (at least), with no sex at the end of it. Don’t even get naked or hard. Hands on skin, candles, oil. Again, it shows her you are focussed 100% on her needs. Build a deep emotional connection with physical touch. That’s our journey. I’m seriously sad to hear all your comments. And I am happy to advise at all if that can help. Marriages can last as long as we live, and sex can continue to get better and better, but it takes 2 things to underpin it. Observation - study and listen to your partner. Adaptation - do things differently and notice how she reacts (back to observation) Not wishing to preach or gloat - just wanting to help anyone I can. I’m sorry but you are way off, certainly as far as my wife and I are concerned. I’m pleased for you that you’ve gone through life and are enjoying a healthy sex life, but everyone’s circumstances are different and more importantly, every woman is different. I’m absolutely certain that no woman has ever got married hoping that one day she won’t want to make love. I might be totally wrong but I see it as a sort of ailment, a medical issue (for want of a better term), and there is no one-shop-fix for it. As far as we are concerned, my wife’s menopause coincided with 2 other things which had a big impact on us, we were having financial difficulties for one, and my mother who lived with us was going downhill with dementia. My wife was brilliant with my mother, looked after her constantly until she died, but it drained her. Fast forward 12 years and we don’t quite have the financial difficulties we did, but we are both so busy. We get on better with each other than we ever have. We are each other’s rock, and I do comfort her as much as I can. We hold hands in public but she doesn’t want to kiss me at home, let alone in front of anyone. Smack her ass! Err, no. She would absolutely hate that and that would only result in a big fall out. I’ve tried to talk about fantasies, she didn’t have any and wasn’t interested in mine. Oral? Before we married we never had penetrative sex, but she would stroke me and let me perform oral on her. She loved it, had numerous orgasms every time, we would spend ages enjoying it together. However since we married and made love for the first time that was it, she never let me anywhere near her pussy with any part of my anatomy other than my cock, and trust me I tried many many times. In terms of performing oral on me, that has never ever happened, not even tried it, it’s something that has always been a major turn off. The only thing I can relate with you on is massage. She does enjoy that and is the only time I can touch her. I’ve bought oils etc and she loves it, as do I because I can feel her lovely smooth skin. I get hard, I can’t help it, but the massage is never going to be a prelude to making love, it’s purely to relax her and soothe her. I’ve tried to talk to her about it many many times. I’ve cried in bed because I want intimacy with my wife. I’m actually welling up now just typing this. I really don’t think it will ever change now but it won’t stop me loving her as much as I ever have. With regards to being on here, I’ve never met anyone and it’s highly unlikely I ever will. But I enjoy the forums and the stories. Maybe this is where I can have my own fantasies. " I’m sorry to hear that. I was only trying to give you some inspiration. I can’t advise anything other than my experience. Good luck and I hope you find a way through. | |||
| |||
" As far as we are concerned, my wife’s menopause coincided with 2 other things which had a big impact on us, we were having financial difficulties for one, and my mother who lived with us was going downhill with dementia. My wife was brilliant with my mother, looked after her constantly until she died, but it drained her. Fast forward 12 years and we don’t quite have the financial difficulties we did, but we are both so busy. We get on better with each other than we ever have. We are each other’s rock, and I do comfort her as much as I can. We hold hands in public but she doesn’t want to kiss me at home, let alone in front of anyone. Smack her ass! Err, no. She would absolutely hate that and that would only result in a big fall out. I’ve tried to talk about fantasies, she didn’t have any and wasn’t interested in mine. Oral? Before we married we never had penetrative sex, but she would stroke me and let me perform oral on her. She loved it, had numerous orgasms every time, we would spend ages enjoying it together. However since we married and made love for the first time that was it, she never let me anywhere near her pussy with any part of my anatomy other than my cock, and trust me I tried many many times. In terms of performing oral on me, that has never ever happened, not even tried it, it’s something that has always been a major turn off. The only thing I can relate with you on is massage. She does enjoy that and is the only time I can touch her. I’ve bought oils etc and she loves it, as do I because I can feel her lovely smooth skin. I get hard, I can’t help it, but the massage is never going to be a prelude to making love, it’s purely to relax her and soothe her. I’ve tried to talk to her about it many many times. I’ve cried in bed because I want intimacy with my wife. I’m actually welling up now just typing this. I really don’t think it will ever change now but it won’t stop me loving her as much as I ever have. With regards to being on here, I’ve never met anyone and it’s highly unlikely I ever will. But I enjoy the forums and the stories. Maybe this is where I can have my own fantasies. " Oh my! I'm sorry that you are going through this. Sex therapy. Seperately and together 3 times a week for 18 months. For some of us, intimacy, communication and connection are hard work.# I have low libido from perimenopause. I also have autism. This makes connecting with my body difficult. I also have childhood trauma where I spent years not having bodily autonomy. Given your age, your wife was probably told that sex was dirty ( or she has sexual trauma from the penetration avoidance), and combined that with menopause and life challenges it kills the libido. I'm a single woman who is child-free and who doesn't work a lot. I was able to take my time and slowly reconnect to my body and my sexuality and my sensuality. Also HRT and seeing a private menopause specialist. They exist especially in London. Sometimes the sex is painful because there isn't enough lubrication or the woman cannot relax, which causes Vaginismus. A lot of women get vaginismus after childbirth or a period of illness. Some get it from being a virgin onwards...Vaginismus needs to be treated with psychotherapy, dilatators, lubricants and pelvic floor exercises and in extreme cases, surgery( where there was a tear in childbirth sewn too tight or other medical complication) I play with the male of the couple who are under 45. His wife can't relax during sex. They are now in therapy together and his wife is actually starting to get a little jealous of all these women who can handle his dick whereas before she didn't care. The older women at the clubs told me that they have tried multiple lubricants that still haven't worked for them because of the dreaded dry vagina. If that is the case, your wife is going to have to trust that you would attempt penetration. This is where toys and marital aids come in. That's what they are for; to give pleasure when the usual missionary cannot be attempted. A lot of this is from the male perspective But I will give the female perspective. a lot of women my age haven't had an orgasm. They faked it to keep their husbands happy. Just like a lot of you men are currently faking your love. If you have no intimacy in your marriage, you no longer love each other romantically and you are just in a marriage of convenience or companionship. Love is an action word which includes intimacy. Intimacy to mutual satisfaction. Withholding intimacy and denying mutual satisfaction is abuse. This is how it works for women and some men A woman who doesn't feel happy and comfortable in herself uses the fact that she can control access to her body as a way to make her male partner suffer as much as she is. She's not having any bodily satisfaction, so why should he? He's expressing an intimacy need but she doesn't feel like communicating her own needs right now and coming to a compromise so he has to suffer just like her. That's abuse. That's dysfunction. That's unhealthy. That's toxic. That's a red flag. The refusal to act, the refusal to communicate effectively, the refusal to cooperate and compromise, the refusal to get professional help via psychotherapy, sex therapy, menopause therapy,erectile dysfunction and pre-mature ejaculation therapy, hormone replacement therapy. The refusal to even acknowledge head on that there is a problem. It's what a toddler does when they can't get their own way or feel emotionally dysregulated. They know something is wrong but they can't communicate what it is so they through a tantrum or use another manipulation tactic to divert attention away from them having to make a decision. Women who recognise that they have limitations and self-lessly love their partners allow the men to seek sexual comfort, intimacy, connection and the sensory love language of touch in other female companions. That is what I am. I am a sexual surrogate for the couples that I play with where the wife recognises that she cannot fulfil all her husband's intimacy needs but she DOES NOT WANT HIM TO SUFFER! I don't understand why a man would martyr himself for a woman who will do doubt divorce him the moment she gets wind of his extra "circular activities". You do realise that the stress of no sex is slowly shortening your life span and you will still be the villain when she divorces you for "cheating." Damned if you do and damned if you don't so I say rip the band-aid off and stop shortening your lifespan with marital stress. I will never understand people who do the same thing over and over again, refuse to go to therapy or treatment and expect different results. Like it's just magically going to change out of the blue. must be my autistic brain....if I don't understand it, it's not logical for me to do or engage with. That's from a neurodivergent perimenopausal woman's perspective. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"It's not just me then" Same here. Bastard cancer has taken all her sex drive away and she's in enduced menopause. Over two years now. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"I have the same problem, to be fair my Mrs went off sex after illness. The problem is sex is part of intermacy, if your not careful it all goes, no kissing or touching etc. Then you just end up being house mates and a downward spriral to not especially liking each other "I am single,so perhaps people think I am not in a position to comment.I really understand and feel for the situation you find yourself in,and am sure it's common.Think.my parents were as you described.Sure it's why there are so.manymolder men ,who decides that intermecy with another man,is better then nothing. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"You should open your mind to other men " I've not yet seen a tv/cd who could tempt me! I have loads of viagra as I get them every month, I just want to find a nice couple to share them with | |||
"A decade ago I was in the same boat, no sex in over a decade. Conversations invariably got shut down, she then said something that had me doubting whether I was ever sexually attractive to her - eventually I walked away, divorce and estrangement from my daughter followed, I am generally more content as there's always the possibility of sex where before there was non. Im certainly financially better off (no horses to keep) and I'm generally less stressed. There are no easy solutions but everything has consequences, if your extramarital gets discovered would it end in divorce - if the answer is yes or probably perhaps it'd be best to rip that plaster off take the initial pain and accept that you both now require different things and have grown apart." Shame cannot reply privately - you've blocked men? | |||
| |||
"It's not just the lack of sex, I miss the intimacy too!" Sex therapy fixes intimacy too. | |||
"Wow. Thought I was the only one in this situation. I've been exploring my bi side for a while. Seems crazy but feels less like cheating if I meet a man rather than woman...." It's still cheating. You lie. You withhold the truth and you go behind someone's back. Split up or go to therapy or don't be surprised when your spouse hates you. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control." I don't imagine cheating husbands are going to get much sympathy with that one. If they were truly being controlled, they wouldnt be free to seek sex elsewhere. Also...just as an aside, i'm disappointed in those on here who don't declare it openly on their profile, allowing members to make an informed choice. You should hang your heads in shame. Apparently saying you're 'discreet' is the new secret code. | |||
"Same boat, must be getting crowded now but since her illnessand treatment she lost completely what little sex drive she had nearly 17 years for me, i understand her issues and never ever push it, so at 67 now i just given up. " i know that feeling mine went off sex years ago would be nice to find some fun in my area | |||
"You may not be aware of this but withholding sex is a common form of domestic abuse. Thats not to say one should force the issue, but if you have spoken with each and they still not interested. Essentially it's a form of control. I don't imagine cheating husbands are going to get much sympathy with that one. If they were truly being controlled, they wouldnt be free to seek sex elsewhere. Also...just as an aside, i'm disappointed in those on here who don't declare it openly on their profile, allowing members to make an informed choice. You should hang your heads in shame. Apparently saying you're 'discreet' is the new secret code. It's called being desperate and is a last resort " | |||
| |||
| |||
"A decade ago I was in the same boat, no sex in over a decade. Conversations invariably got shut down, she then said something that had me doubting whether I was ever sexually attractive to her - eventually I walked away, divorce and estrangement from my daughter followed, I am generally more content as there's always the possibility of sex where before there was non. Im certainly financially better off (no horses to keep) and I'm generally less stressed. There are no easy solutions but everything has consequences, if your extramarital gets discovered would it end in divorce - if the answer is yes or probably perhaps it'd be best to rip that plaster off take the initial pain and accept that you both now require different things and have grown apart." This. | |||
| |||
"Very interesting to read all the comments. Life is complicated .. people are complicated .. In 2025, are we designed to be with the same partner, exclusively , for 30,40, 50 plus years I wonder ? … " I've been with the same partner for over 40 years, my parents were married for 67 so some people are designed that way. | |||
"Very interesting to read all the comments. Life is complicated .. people are complicated .. In 2025, are we designed to be with the same partner, exclusively , for 30,40, 50 plus years I wonder ? … I've been with the same partner for over 40 years, my parents were married for 67 so some people are designed that way. " Same here been married 43 years and still do much in love  | |||
| |||
| |||
