FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Newbies looking for MFM
Newbies looking for MFM
Jump to: Newest in thread
So want to start by saying hi to everyone! Currently referring to ourselves as Mr M and Mrs J. We are completely new to the scene, and looking for some advice on Fab, our profile and just bits in general.
I would like to say thank you to the few who have sent genuine messages with face pics
Were both interested on any tips we can do the will help us look for the right guy for our first MFM experience. This has been a fantasy for some time and really want to give it a go 
We have seen people recommend clubs and we did attend a newbies night at the annex however we think the nerves got the best of us and didn't help not knowing anyone. We also found that night there were a lot of people much older than us, which unfortunately is what we are looking for so left early.
look forward to talking to some of you and greatly appreciate and tips/advice x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Welcome both 
As it's your first experience, I'd recommend taking your time and finding a guy you feel comfortable with. I would definitely suggest having a social meet first where there's no pressure.
If you are looking at clubs, there are events that cater more towards couples looking for guys which you might find better suited |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi CurvyMJCouple, as the poster above said, take your time to chat a little on here and arrange a social with any guys in a neutral location, usually better with a drink to settle the nerves of all.
Always look for verified guys, and take the time to read their verifications, and follow that to the couple who left it and see what he said about the meet to them. Gives you an insight into events but also a bit more depth into who they are when you see what they said afterwards.
I’m sure you are inundated with offers on a daily basis. We get dozens of guys messaging, a high proportion have no verifications and will push for a meet but then disappear before a social, or just not turn up - another reason why veris are so important. It’s unfortunate for guys looking for their first meet, but there are more and more who are happy to waste our time, so generally no veris, no meet.
On your profile I see you have cuckolding, you may want to expand your bio to make clear if hubby is happy/wants to take part or not, and ensure good (and honest) communication with each other around what you both want to experience. The first few times can be challenging mentally and emotionally so be prepared to be open and honest about events.
Most of all, take your time, have fun and keep connected. This is Tom by the way but Lou I’m sure would be happy to give her views to Mrs Curvy if you want to message. Happy Fabbing! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I used to be part of a couple and had a few mfm meets,
Pick carefully, make sure both of you want it.
Never be pressurised into a meet, go at your pace.
Set limits, maybe use a safe word.
We keep looking at each other to make sure we were both comfortable with what was happening.
Is it cuckolding or will he be more of a vouyer.
Above all enjoy the experience
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *aandLoCouple 17 weeks ago
Southampton |
Hi,
just echoing what's already been said about building up rapport online with potential chaps, have a social first and don't feel obligated or rushed. Go at your pace; any decent guy won't rush you.
Talk often throughout the process with each other, and never hold back on anything that's going through your mind.
Some guys will make assumptions about the MFM dynamic you're looking for so be clear what involvement you want each party to have. E.g. we are looking for a job share on me (Lo) 🤣 rather than a cuckold/bull/dominant etc
Be confident, communicative, and have fun. Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Welcome to Fab and the lifestyle.
We've had a few mfm meets (to put it mildly) and here is how we go about finding suitable men.
Firstly, as you're both new I'd suggest finding a man that is well versed in the lifestyle, ideally with a good few verifications from couples, a man that has a well polished and thought out profile is a big bonus as it shows a level of attention and care.
Most of the deciding for us comes from the messaging though as you can quickly pick up on things that you may like or dislike. For example...when a male starts addressing only one of us rather than the couple or starts to speak in an overly dominant or controlling way, the conversation ends and we move onto someone else. This is all down to what you like, but generally...if it feels off then don't proceed. But above all make sure you both agree with the choice and all three of you are on the same page. A good man will always ask what your boundaries are and you should do the same back. They aren't just a toy to be used, they are human beings and want to enjoy it as much as you and if you go in with the attitude of everyone should have fun your experience will be much better.
The first time will be the scariest (sometimes we still get nervous now, but not like the first), but remember...the guy will be nervous too, sometimes an icebreaker at the pub is a good way to see how you all feel. We personally like to just dive straight in these days, but when we first started we'd begin by kissing each other and then inviting the guy to start kissing vixen too. Nerves drop off pretty rapidly once the blood starts flowing.
But the most important advice is this...it's your Journey, and it should be done at your pace...don't let yourself feel pressured, it should be organic and enjoyable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to clubs, having people round or going to places to meet and doing nothing sexual.
Best of luck with your adventures x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Before Andy and mines first 3some, we chatted for a while, told him our limits, met for a social first, when home discussed it together, then invited him to ours the next say.
I showered dressed in a basque stockings, a long dress, buttoned up ghe front.
He arrived, glass of wine and Andy and I started kissing, while he watched, Andy unbuttoned my dress and then invited him to join us.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Welcome to Fab and the lifestyle.
We've had a few mfm meets (to put it mildly) and here is how we go about finding suitable men.
Firstly, as you're both new I'd suggest finding a man that is well versed in the lifestyle, ideally with a good few verifications from couples, a man that has a well polished and thought out profile is a big bonus as it shows a level of attention and care.
Most of the deciding for us comes from the messaging though as you can quickly pick up on things that you may like or dislike. For example...when a male starts addressing only one of us rather than the couple or starts to speak in an overly dominant or controlling way, the conversation ends and we move onto someone else. This is all down to what you like, but generally...if it feels off then don't proceed. But above all make sure you both agree with the choice and all three of you are on the same page. A good man will always ask what your boundaries are and you should do the same back. They aren't just a toy to be used, they are human beings and want to enjoy it as much as you and if you go in with the attitude of everyone should have fun your experience will be much better.
The first time will be the scariest (sometimes we still get nervous now, but not like the first), but remember...the guy will be nervous too, sometimes an icebreaker at the pub is a good way to see how you all feel. We personally like to just dive straight in these days, but when we first started we'd begin by kissing each other and then inviting the guy to start kissing vixen too. Nerves drop off pretty rapidly once the blood starts flowing.
But the most important advice is this...it's your Journey, and it should be done at your pace...don't let yourself feel pressured, it should be organic and enjoyable. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going to clubs, having people round or going to places to meet and doing nothing sexual.
Best of luck with your adventures x"
Absolutely really well put and virtually identical to how we started out on this journey, many, many moons ago... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple 17 weeks ago
leeds |
Most of our play is in clubs and with an extra straight guy or two (or three). I would recommend a club as a starting place. It's safe. You can choose the guy and see what he looks like before committing to play, and there's no chance of a no show. If you like him and the MFM was successful you can arrange to meet again outside the club. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Having been both host and guest at MMF, there are many things to consider. For me it is about setting out your boundaries. Who plays with who, who do you both feel comfortable with. Go for a social meet first. Where do you feel comfortable doing it.
Some people prefer their own home, others get freaked out by the idea of having a threesome there.
Whatever you do, keep your communication with each other going. And enjoy! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
MFM for me is about understanding boundaries. If it’s a single lady and she’s chosen two guys, all need to know who’s straight or bi. So that lines are not crossed…
Some girls prefer bi guys as they like to watch. Not my thing but each to their own.
A couple introducing another male, they need to be comfortable with him, perhaps offer a safe word so he knows when to stop or back off.
Iv been I a situation where without me knowing the guy walked off. When we had finished, he had a row with his missus! No one had deliberately pushed him out, he chose to leave. But perhaps a safe word would have helped us all stop and prevent the following arguments
I now keep an eye on the male to ensure he’s still engaging and seems happy. If not then I stop and sit back, allowing them to reconnect and if I feel it’s not right, I’ll make my excuse and leave them alone.
So be aware of all the others, are they engaging, has one checked out? Or left the group?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"MFM for me is about understanding boundaries. If it’s a single lady and she’s chosen two guys, all need to know who’s straight or bi. So that lines are not crossed…
Some girls prefer bi guys as they like to watch. Not my thing but each to their own.
A couple introducing another male, they need to be comfortable with him, perhaps offer a safe word so he knows when to stop or back off.
Iv been I a situation where without me knowing the guy walked off. When we had finished, he had a row with his missus! No one had deliberately pushed him out, he chose to leave. But perhaps a safe word would have helped us all stop and prevent the following arguments
I now keep an eye on the male to ensure he’s still engaging and seems happy. If not then I stop and sit back, allowing them to reconnect and if I feel it’s not right, I’ll make my excuse and leave them alone.
So be aware of all the others, are they engaging, has one checked out? Or left the group?
"
Great post |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hey just want to say thank you to everyone who posted, defiantly gave us some good reading and things to think about! Really appreciate the advice, as many have said the nerve are defiantly there about meeting new people. It reminds us both of when we dating :p we joke that part of us just want to get it over and done with so then the nerves are gone but we defiantly want to do it properly. We have discussed boundaries over and over and well we know were they sit and what we are looking for at first and down the future but as I read on here that seems to often change. Thank you for looking out for us! x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *omRachCouple 14 weeks ago
Wirral |
Don't know if it is something you would consider but our 1st MFM was with one of my best mates.
We were very nervous about meeting a stranger but were very lucky in that I had a friend Rach found charming and attracted to and who we both knew was a bit kinky (all 3 of us had many d*unken nights chatting all things sexual before we even raised the idea with him).
All 3 of us felt comfortable in that situation and after one particular d*unken day out back at ours Rach gave me the nod to raise the idea with him whilst she left the room and after a brief chat centred around things not affecting our friendship we began a on/off scenario that lasted nearly 20 years.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have a friend like that but if you have it could be a way to make those tentative 1st steps.
Good Luck OP's |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My own rules for MFM are:
1) Never with friends
2) I prefer all three involved
Saying that the chances here couples in their own rights are fed up with singles so a meet is next to impossible for not meet verified people but the best opportunities I have had so far is in clubs which is fun however not intimate that I prefer.
Hope you guys get the right person and have a great journey in the lifestyle ❤️ |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Before Andy and mines first 3some, we chatted for a while, told him our limits, met for a social first, when home discussed it together, then invited him to ours the next say.
I showered dressed in a basque stockings, a long dress, buttoned up ghe front.
He arrived, glass of wine and Andy and I started kissing, while he watched, Andy unbuttoned my dress and then invited him to join us.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
