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Respected and hated playwright seeketh others for making the beast with two backs.
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By *he Bard OP Man
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
Behold literary lovers. 'Tis with much trepidation that I brave this most new and fangled of technologies. For, in days of yore, t'were easy to mix and mate with maidens of a buxom stature. 'Twas often upon a midsummer night I would have a muse for supper. Whereupon I would have wrist ache from much usage of the quill! Bouts of vigorous thrusting would usually accompany a thorough quaffing of her quim. During said thrusting, I would take great delight feeling my muse 'die the small death' with moaning that would rival any banshee.
'Tis now upon modern times, and it is upon me that I must introduce myself. That I should do so alone on this new and fangled page. I seeketh wenches of keen beauty, buxom proportions and be free of plagues and other afflictions that may affect future performances with other women. Tis to this end that I may say that care should be taken to one and all, that ones health not be that of the same fate as of Macbeth. For no witches that boil and bubble should come near. If thine face is warted with sores, or thine breath is that of fetid water then do please refrain contact.
In my day, a man who was of decent stature and intellect was indeed much sought after by the women folk from near and far. The gentry would sometimes invite me over to discuss stories of experiences and perhaps to engage in coitus with their beloved. Hence, I wrote of cuckolds and that they wouldst have horns like a goat to further ridicule.
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
Genius.
You deserve to have your mediaeval bollocks tickled by buxom wenches all day long for that.
Love the spelling of your location btw - I suspect its a "smalle hamlet" I lived near for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nice new approach but I think after a while the ladies would go into meltdown from having to translate old English into new English but 10 out of 10 for the approach |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Nice new approach but I think after a while the ladies would go into meltdown from having to translate old English into new English but 10 out of 10 for the approach "
He's writing in Early Modern English, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish! |
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By *w214Couple
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"Behold literary lovers. 'Tis with much trepidation that I brave this most new and fangled of technologies. For, in days of yore, t'were easy to mix and mate with maidens of a buxom stature. 'Twas often upon a midsummer night I would have a muse for supper. Whereupon I would have wrist ache from much usage of the quill! Bouts of vigorous thrusting would usually accompany a thorough quaffing of her quim. During said thrusting, I would take great delight feeling my muse 'die the small death' with moaning that would rival any banshee.
'Tis now upon modern times, and it is upon me that I must introduce myself. That I should do so alone on this new and fangled page. I seeketh wenches of keen beauty, buxom proportions and be free of plagues and other afflictions that may affect future performances with other women. Tis to this end that I may say that care should be taken to one and all, that ones health not be that of the same fate as of Macbeth. For no witches that boil and bubble should come near. If thine face is warted with sores, or thine breath is that of fetid water then do please refrain contact.
In my day, a man who was of decent stature and intellect was indeed much sought after by the women folk from near and far. The gentry would sometimes invite me over to discuss stories of experiences and perhaps to engage in coitus with their beloved. Hence, I wrote of cuckolds and that they wouldst have horns like a goat to further ridicule.
"
U wot M8?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nice new approach but I think after a while the ladies would go into meltdown from having to translate old English into new English but 10 out of 10 for the approach
He's writing in Early Modern English, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish!"
bless my codpiece as I wash my runciple spoon |
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