FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Where am I going wrong???
Where am I going wrong???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everybody, I've been on here a while now and I've still not met anyone from here and feel like I'm wasting my time, I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm not getting that across.
Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Hope I'm not coming across as sympathetic but I don't understand my problem and a outside perspective might help as I've read other posts of people helping others and hope the same help can help me |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
I'll know it when I find it. |
Erm, yeah. Username is definitely something that could be addressed. Your profile text could do with a bit of oomph - currently reads quite dull with several issues. Take a look at a few on the forums and see what they do or don't put. I'm not sure fresh meat is too appealing either, sorry OP. Try a club - great way to create intial contact and hopefully get verified also. |
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"I'd say to change your username and add to your profile. Some of the guys have great ones, on here. Check them out for ideas!
Good luck, OP! "
This OP, put more of yourself in to your profile. You need to grab someone's attention, a profile that can be read in full in 5 seconds will make you forgettable mate.
Good luck |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As others have said OPI'd start with a name change, the current one is pretty repulsive to be honest.
Then take a look at your profile and ask does it really sell you well? Does it lay out clearly who you are, what you're looking for, and what you think you have to offer?
You've got a face pic as your one public pic which is good, but consider perhaps some tasteful body shots (not blatant cock pics) that show you off.
When messaging potential meets, send decent messages of more than a few words and tailor them to the person's profile.
Do all of that and you should be on the right path.
But first things first, change that god awful username, until you do you're 99.99% certain of going nowhere!
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is there an echo in here?
My rule of thumb when it comes to a good name is if you introduced yourself to someone with that name would you say it proudly or would you be embarrassed?
Take a while and think about what you want to say about yourself, try and think of something witty or original. Try not to be crude or sexual, that will help short term
Oh and just to label the point awful awful awful choice of name! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yup, the user name. If I got a message from a name along those lines, I wouldn't even get as far as reading the profile or looking at the pictures. If you were serious about advice then that would be a good place to start with alterations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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User name isn't the only problem.
The profile text is a bit like coming from a teenager. Not to mention the errors in the text.
Add more photos as well. Offer a diner to every lady who wants to meet you, without the expectation for a returned favour.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive deleted several messages from the OP in the last few months.
Aside from all the advice here, maybe consider reading the profile of the person you're messaging. Just a thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everybody, I've been on here a while now and I've still not met anyone from here and feel like I'm wasting my time, I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm not getting that across.
Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Hope I'm not coming across as sympathetic but I don't understand my problem and a outside perspective might help as I've read other posts of people helping others and hope the same help can help me"
You really are not getting it across. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Change your user name.
Add more photos.
Write a better profile.
Remember as a single guy, it's hard. It's a buyers market for couples and single girls looking for guys. They get 100's of messages a day!!!!!
Be specific about what you want and what you can offer. Also be polite too!!
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile slates younger women as well as BBWS.
Your say you're looking for intelligent women yet have quite a few spelling and grammar issues...
Just saying |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am taking the advice on board however, until I have Xmas under wraps I don't have the money to spend on silver membership yet so presents come first then I'll sort that out, I have re-written my profile though it's hard to just say this is what I'm looking for without being picky and sounding like I'm only going to reply to 10s who are super models when I'm trying to be broard without coming across as desperate though I think this forum I opened might have already done that.
I do need to set aside time to plan and upload good photos of myself, even though I am a photographer, the only thing I can't see in first person is myself so knowing how I look good in a photo is difficult because I have to both stand out but be sought after as well.
I hope my new profile is a improvement but if their is grammar errors in there then I will them out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am taking the advice on board however, until I have Xmas under wraps I don't have the money to spend on silver membership yet so presents come first then I'll sort that out, I have re-written my profile though it's hard to just say this is what I'm looking for without being picky and sounding like I'm only going to reply to 10s who are super models when I'm trying to be broard without coming across as desperate though I think this forum I opened might have already done that.
I do need to set aside time to plan and upload good photos of myself, even though I am a photographer, the only thing I can't see in first person is myself so knowing how I look good in a photo is difficult because I have to both stand out but be sought after as well.
I hope my new profile is a improvement but if their is grammar errors in there then I will them out. "
Not the grammar that will put people off, more likely assuming that younger girls are dumb and crazy, and making comments like even the bbw's....
Good luck OP |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OP your profile is a definite improvement over what it was although I'd remove the line anout excluding yourself to porn models and supermodels and especially the thing about BBWs, it comes across as derogatory.
As for getting site membership to change your username you have two options - it's only a fiver for a month so forego just one pint over Xmas and it's paid for!! Alternately delete this profile and start a new one with a new name which costs you nothing.
Either way until you change username the outlook is bleak I would say. |
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That username will put off virtually everyone.
You also have multiple spelling and grammatical errors in your profile. It is possible you are dyslexic, in which case do say so otherwise it smacks of laziness. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you saying you don't have £5 to get silver status ?
For three months membership ?
As has been said repeatedly ... name change required. We wouldn't even read the message with a name like that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online. "
Many would beg to differ. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am taking the advice on board however, until I have Xmas under wraps I don't have the money to spend on silver membership yet so presents come first then I'll sort that out, I have re-written my profile though it's hard to just say this is what I'm looking for without being picky and sounding like I'm only going to reply to 10s who are super models when I'm trying to be broard without coming across as desperate though I think this forum I opened might have already done that.
I do need to set aside time to plan and upload good photos of myself, even though I am a photographer, the only thing I can't see in first person is myself so knowing how I look good in a photo is difficult because I have to both stand out but be sought after as well.
I hope my new profile is a improvement but if their is grammar errors in there then I will them out. "
Apart from your username which would earn you an instant place on my block list, I read in your profile that 'you aren't all that picky any more'! I would take the hump at that, so off to my block list. Happy fabbing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online.
Many would beg to differ. "
Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online. "
Yeh cos going to a social and introducing yourself as 'ass punisher' would have the ladies creaming their knickers. Please let me know if you take his advice cos I'd love to see this for the entertainment value. |
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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago
West Wales and Cardiff |
"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online.
Many would beg to differ.
Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name."
From evidence above, it does suggest that for every one woman who wants that part of her anatomy punished, there's thirty who run a mile. I'm sure there's the odd woman out there who will think it's right up their street (or balloon knot), but it's definitely limiting him.
Besides, this is the UK - it should be "Arse punisher" |
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Your profile reads as being a little immature. Everything from the username, mild denigration of bbw's and reference to centrefolds and fresh meat..
Whilst there are many different types of profiles on here, I've found the ones that seems to have the least 'success' are the ones that come across as adolescent in tone. Women on here are looking for men, not boys.
Delete and start again whilst you've no veris to lose. I'm sure you'll do better once you do. |
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You have "I trouble!"
I this, I that, and I the other!
Never mind what you want, what you would like......
What is on offer for the girls you want to meet?
What have you got to give?
Whats in it for them?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everybody, I've been on here a while now and I've still not met anyone from here and feel like I'm wasting my time, I have a lot to offer but maybe I'm not getting that across.
Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. Hope I'm not coming across as sympathetic but I don't understand my problem and a outside perspective might help as I've read other posts of people helping others and hope the same help can help me"
patience is a virtue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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N A M E !!!!!
Can't believe you are even asking the question. I've seen your profile a few time but once I spotted the name I have never even looked at any of your profile info. |
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Also, if you're genuinely looking for a meet (rather than using this as a tinder variant) then consider your local club, a social or an organised event. Theyre a great way to start to get to know people in a safe, guided environment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So OP, 6 days later and you don't appear to have taken any of the advice given, particularly about your username, did you actually want advice in the first place?  "
I very much doubt it. |
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"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online.
Many would beg to differ.
Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name.
From evidence above, it does suggest that for every one woman who wants that part of her anatomy punished, there's thirty who run a mile. I'm sure there's the odd woman out there who will think it's right up their street (or balloon knot), but it's definitely limiting him.
Besides, this is the UK - it should be "Arse punisher""
I was just about to post about the difference between ass and arse but maybe he likes shagging donkeys? |
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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago
Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else |
"Mabey have mor info on your profile ? i carnt give mutch mor advice as im in the same boat with no meets.
"No wen ya spell Lyk dis"   "
When mocking the spelling of a dyslexic, be aware that some will review your profile text for grammar and punctuation as well as spelling, even if forum rules prevent them giving you the feedback unsolicited.
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I really think your profile and username are ok. The positives are you're not married and playing away. You're not looking for bareback sex and you don't have a million cock pics. Try getting out to a social , you might be able to sell yourself better in person than online.
Many would beg to differ.
Yes , but in life you can't please everyone. Some couples or females might actually like his name.
From evidence above, it does suggest that for every one woman who wants that part of her anatomy punished, there's thirty who run a mile. I'm sure there's the odd woman out there who will think it's right up their street (or balloon knot), but it's definitely limiting him.
Besides, this is the UK - it should be "Arse punisher"
I was just about to post about the difference between ass and arse but maybe he likes shagging donkeys?"
Thanks I needed that chuckle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eleven months and no green tick says a lot to women. Start fresh. Look at some verified men's profiles (even mine) for ideas on text. Read women's/couples profiles properly, engage them by mentioning something they say in their text content and don't send the same copy and pasted boring old shite/filth.
And get rid of that name! You don't have to call yourself "Tooshy Tickler" but honestly, you have to try to present yourself as approachable rather than a gay rapist!
Hope this helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"+1 for the username being off putting."
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But the one constant on these threads.......it's been seven days....and no advice taken!"
I was thinking the same.
OP, either change your approach or change your expectations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"+1 for the username being off putting.
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk "
someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.
so i agree. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"+1 for the username being off putting.
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk
someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.
so i agree. "
Thank you... your username is your invitation to the party. Your message is how you get the girl to dance.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"+1 for the username being off putting.
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk "
I think the choice of username is subliminal, we don't really choose it at random, certainly not one like that. If you chose Veryniceguy, you would be trying to send that message across, whether you were or you weren't. I am the Red Queen from Lewis Carrol's novels, coz I am a bad/short -tempered, bossy bitch...there are HornyDevils, Gang bang lovers, Cum sluts etc....a username is just not as random as some people would have us believe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Obviously username
Have to say thing that made me smile or do I mean snarl when reading your profile was that you EVEN find BBWs attractive who can pull it off
Everyone has their own preferences but really was the word even needed ?
Yes Im big but I will never be an "even" |
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The more help given out to those who don't have a clue, the more difficult it becomes to filter out those with little to offer from the potentially better meets.
There is a difference between self improvement and improving your image.
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"The more help given out to those who don't have a clue, the more difficult it becomes to filter out those with little to offer from the potentially better meets.
There is a difference between self improvement and improving your image.
"
I take the general point but, assuming that sound advice for profile improvement is adopted, (which it frequently isn't) the quality of the subsequent messages should still be a pretty good indicator |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a slightly different note, the phrase 'not as picky as I used to be' can have overtones where any potential meet is thinking 'is he dropping his standards for a fuck?'
But yeah, username too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"+1 for the username being off putting.
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk "
For us single makes on here, it's all about selling ourselves. You wouldn't buy underpants if they were called "Plum Crushers."
It's about what's on the packaging for women and couples. They probably see "ass Punisher" in their inbox and think BDSM! |
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"+1 for the username being off putting.
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk
someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.
so i agree.
Thank you... your username is your invitation to the party. Your message is how you get the girl to dance.."
Curious if you'd be up to testing your theory, by changing your username to something extremely crude/unpleasant sounding? You could do so for a few months and then report back in if your success as deteriorated, improved, or remained the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"+1 for the username being off putting.
Honestly , why are usernames so off putting to everyone?
It's just something someone thought up in the spur of the moment. He could be a good guy
If my username was Veryniceguy .. I could still be a jerk
someone on another site, with nice guy in his name, gave me a load of grief for not wanting to fuck him and then started saying i was nothing much to look at.
so i agree.
Thank you... your username is your invitation to the party. Your message is how you get the girl to dance.."
If the invitation sucks then I'm not interested in the party. 'Ass punisher' messaged me a few times and I never never read the messages, just deleted in disgust to be honest. Didn't even read past the name.
If he's not getting meets then 99.9% of the thread must be wrong then. |
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Oh and change your username lol