FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > Uphill struggle

Uphill struggle

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is site really can be a challenge sometimes. Seems like no matter what you say or do, your just not hot enough for most women on here (even if there far from perfect)

I'm young, keep in decent shape and not too bad looking on the whole. However my ratio of returned messages on here is terrible. I've had a few meets off here but really feels like more effort than it's worth sometimes. Being ignored or rejected is depressing at times.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with you, I've been here a few weeks and already had to take a break.

It doesn't surprise me that everyone complains of it and paste messages and men being dicks, I assume the majority of decent men (not all) are put off by the lack of responses etc.

I totally get that for a female receiving hundreds of messages a day it must be near on impossible to filter out the dross!

Shame there is no easy way to 'fix' the problem. No doubt we'll keep trying!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Since the dawn of time it’s always been difficult for the majority of men to get nsa sex. There’s no magic formula even with the Internet.

Mrs

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By *apillonNoirWoman over a year ago

There...

Ok. I’ll bite (no not literally!) Women and couples are outnumbered by men many fold on here. Not all get hundreds of messages daily but that’s the way we like it.

Women will almost always read a profile before opening the message; nothing to pique interest in a profile or photos most often ends in a message deleted unread. I’m not saying anything about your profile - it’s yours and you should show yourself as you wish but let’s put it this way: is it describing you, what you want and what you can offer in the best way you know how? If you were your target audience would you answer a message?

What were your expectations when you joined? Have a think and let’s hear your side of the expectation story. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well for myself, the site was recommended after a visit to a club. I had a great time at the club meeting lots of people who were exceptionally friendly and I suppose I expected the same on the site.

As you say maybe it's my profile that's the issue or maybe just me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You get out what you put in. You appear to have made very little effort so don't expect any results.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Your judging me on my profile as it is now. I used to have a far more detailed profile, but it makes absolutely no difference. Hence after time I have come a touch disheartened and thus don't t put the same effort in.

My argument is look at the profiles of very good looking guys who have tons of meets. You know what? most of them have absolutely nothing on their profile, or it's incredibly generic. It doesn't matter though as their hot, the pretension by so many that your profile matters is absolute rubbish.

Also most women have very little on their profile and a few faceless pictures. The ratio of men to women dictates that women can be as lazy as they like.

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Women can pick and choose who they like on here

You can have what you may think to be the most awesome profile going but if they don't find you attravtive it isn't going to help

If you are easilly dejected then this definitely isn't the site for you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your judging me on my profile as it is now. I used to have a far more detailed profile, but it makes absolutely no difference. Hence after time I have come a touch disheartened and thus don't t put the same effort in.

Also most women have very little on their profile and a few faceless pictures. The ratio of men to women dictates that women can be as lazy as they like.

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference. "

Alot of men don't care what we look like or what we have to say, as long as they can get their leg over. Women rarely work that way. Plus content of a profile can deter as well as attract

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The truth right there.

I just despise the notion that your profile or text has anything to do with it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just for reference, I was agree g with MissP

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ariel,

Your verification has minimal content on his profile. Basically says, hi I'm horny and up for fun.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dude! Believe me, you aren't the only one struggling for messages and conversations let alone meets on this site.

Ive been on it for well over 2 years and despite some cracking meets, it doesn't get easier. Its still just as difficult and at times depressing now as it was then.

Dont delve too much into it, expect nothing and what comes from it is a bonus. If you take it too seriously, it consumes your life and screws with your head.

Good luck and remember that its not just you. A lot of men go through the same frustrations

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Also most women have very little on their profile and a few faceless pictures. The ratio of men to women dictates that women can be as lazy as they like.

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference. "

If I like the look of the guy (when he sends a face pic with the first message) and the message is friendly (and not necessarily long, detailed or tailored to my profile) then I’m likely to reply. Many that I have met have very little in their profile and I’ve got what I want so I agree it doesn’t matter (to me) if the guy has a 53 line profile or not, if my interest is piqued then I’m in!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Women can pick and choose who they like on here

You can have what you may think to be the most awesome profile going but if they don't find you attravtive it isn't going to help

If you are easilly dejected then this definitely isn't the site for you"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love a good detailed profile as well. I know lots of women who do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ariel,

Your verification has minimal content on his profile. Basically says, hi I'm horny and up for fun. "

I know...I messaged him to tell him I liked his pics, expected it to remain at that as I thought he was too hot for me...we started talking so got to see his personality a bit, met him a few days later and he has now been my fwb for 18 months...If I am attracted to someone and he has nothing I find offensive on his profile, then I am happy to talk to get to know someone, if I like the personality too then, when I am looking for playmates, we can sort out meeting up.

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By *eardsandboobsCouple over a year ago

market rasen

"The truth right there.

I just despise the notion that your profile or text has anything to do with it. "

We will agree with this. It’s all about initial attraction . Profile doesn’t make much difference text wise . Unless the person sounds like a cock lol

We have both had single profiles and had plenty of verications but we had fun varied photis that attract people to you .

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So your all essentially agreeing with me..

Excellent x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you message someone with a good, lovely first message, pay attention to their profile and have read it, that’s what matters to me - a full, rich profile is just an added bonus

Hang in there OP

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By *apillonNoirWoman over a year ago

There...

"The truth right there.

I just despise the notion that your profile or text has anything to do with it. "

Despise away oh and I’m not judging you per se. I’m just trying to give you my side of the story. All my veri’s are from men whose profiles intrigued me enough to answer their message. We’re all different. You’re probably right - this isn’t the site for you. I’m still interested to know what your expectations were upon joining though.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman over a year ago

Yorkshire

I just use it to augment my club visits and socials. So I can say ‘yes’ if someone asks for a veri.

I don’t bother using it to try find the actual meets. They tend to happen more in ‘real life’ where I am proactive at asking people to play in clubs etc

Love the forums though. Must admit x

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

I totally get that for a female receiving hundreds of messages a day it must be near on impossible to filter out the dross!

That is what they would like you to believe.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Papillon,

I don't have lofted expectations and I've had about 4/5 meets off here to varying degree of success.

I'll admit I'm no stud and my face is quite youngish looking. At the same time I'm surprised how many times I have been rejected. Equally I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me.

What do I expect.. Well I would hope to find some normal thin ladies around my age to have some fun with. I'm not expecting super models to come to my door.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Papillon,

I don't have lofted expectations and I've had about 4/5 meets off here to varying degree of success.

I'll admit I'm no stud and my face is quite youngish looking. At the same time I'm surprised how many times I have been rejected. Equally I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me.

What do I expect.. Well I would hope to find some normal thin ladies around my age to have some fun with. I'm not expecting super models to come to my door.

Thats where you’re going wrong....looking for normal

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By *LUKCouple over a year ago

Loughborough

Take a step back and look at your profile from a neutral POV.

If you were a single female, would you meet you?

If the answer is yes then no one can help you. If the answer is no, then you already know exactly what you need to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

JLUK,

So what is in your opinion so wrong with my profile. I have other pictures I just don't make them public. I send them when I message. I wouldn't expect a women on here to message me first.

So again what is so wrong with my profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"JLUK,

So what is in your opinion so wrong with my profile. I have other pictures I just don't make them public. I send them when I message. I wouldn't expect a women on here to message me first.

So again what is so wrong with my profile? "

She didn’t say there was anything wrong* with your profile. She said to take a look, and if you think it’s fine, then no problem.

*Also didn’t say there was anything amazing and spectacular either. Was just advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Queen,

"If you were a single female, would you meet you?

If the answer is yes then no one can help you"

Thats a pretty clear implication that they think my profile is pants. Which is cool I'm just curious to hear more.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"JLUK,

So what is in your opinion so wrong with my profile. I have other pictures I just don't make them public. I send them when I message. I wouldn't expect a women on here to message me first.

So again what is so wrong with my profile? "

Ok from my point of view....

You can't accom

You're bi curious

You look like a statue in your pics

They're the most obvious off puts for me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"JLUK,

So what is in your opinion so wrong with my profile. I have other pictures I just don't make them public. I send them when I message. I wouldn't expect a women on here to message me first.

So again what is so wrong with my profile? "

For me personally, there is nothing in your profile that suggests you would match what my husband and I look for on the swing scene. Aside from your age, you might be a good match for us or you might not be. But we would never know if you don’t tell us.

Mrs

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By *LUKCouple over a year ago

Loughborough

"JLUK,

So what is in your opinion so wrong with my profile. I have other pictures I just don't make them public. I send them when I message. I wouldn't expect a women on here to message me first.

So again what is so wrong with my profile? "

Well seeing as you've asked.

Photos are a bit uninspiring. Pic #2 is good but #1 and #3 look like the bit that's been cut out of a prison mugshot. You're in good shape, flaunt it. Do a google search on good angles for selfies. Add a few filters (B&W etc), there's loads of free apps that do that.

Put something in your profile. Make it fun. This is your one opportunity to sell yourself. Is "Just on here for fun like everyone else" really telling potential meets everything they need to know?

Add some stuff about yourself; what you want from a meet. Again, make it fun.

And the most important part: Put yourself about. You mentioned these other profiles where guys have minimal text but loads of meets. I'd bet pennies to pounds that they met at a club or a social. Go attend a few, you've got NOTHING to lose and everything to gain. Even if you don't hook up with anyone, you will have chatted to people and maybe get a veri or two, or even better, a date for a future meet.

Lastly; you sound quite down and that your self esteem is quite low. No one is going to lift either of those other than yourself. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, put your best clobber on and get yourself out to a club this weekend and have no expectations other than to have a good night out. You get out of this lifestyle what you put in.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Papillon,

I don't have lofted expectations and I've had about 4/5 meets off here to varying degree of success.

I'll admit I'm no stud and my face is quite youngish looking. At the same time I'm surprised how many times I have been rejected. Equally I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me.

What do I expect.. Well I would hope to find some normal thin ladies around my age to have some fun with. I'm not expecting super models to come to my door.

When you say you are surprised at the quantity of rejections I’m guessing you didn’t realise quite how extreme the ratios are. I mean if you walked into a bar with 100 men and 5 women would you still be surprised if you weren’t one of the lucky 5 men to get selected?

Mrs

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"JLUK,

So what is in your opinion so wrong with my profile. I have other pictures I just don't make them public. I send them when I message. I wouldn't expect a women on here to message me first.

So again what is so wrong with my profile?

Well seeing as you've asked.

Put something in your profile. Make it fun. This is your one opportunity to sell yourself. Is "Just on here for fun like everyone else" really telling potential meets everything they need to know?

Add some stuff about yourself; what you want from a meet. Again, make it fun.

Fantastic advice OP - I’d grab it with both hands!!

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is that more sexy then x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single guy you defo need to get out to socials and club meets, make the effort to get known on the scene. Best advice I was given on here was to attend an organised social and not rely solely on this for meets.

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"Is that more sexy then x"

It’s better - think open shirt, well placed towel, in the shower, cheeky bum pic etc ... use your timer to get some pics. And no more dick pics, one good one is fine

IMO anyway

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Is that more sexy then x

It’s better - think open shirt, well placed towel, in the shower, cheeky bum pic etc ... use your timer to get some pics. And no more dick pics, one good one is fine

IMO anyway "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Can't accommodate would probably put a good few of your potential meets off.

You're 25. Stop moaning and get out and use your "good" looks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/03/18 21:02:42]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You’re right.. would you scroll through my profile and provide me with some feedback please? that would really help..

Also most women have very little on their profile and a few faceless pictures. The ratio of men to women dictates that women can be as lazy as they like.

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference.

Alot of men don't care what we look like or what we have to say, as long as they can get their leg over. Women rarely work that way. Plus content of a profile can deter as well as attract"

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By *antonkid1955Man over a year ago

cardiff

I've had more luck in a local bar.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You’re right.. would you scroll through my profile and provide me with some feedback please? that would really help..

Also most women have very little on their profile and a few faceless pictures. The ratio of men to women dictates that women can be as lazy as they like.

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference.

Alot of men don't care what we look like or what we have to say, as long as they can get their leg over. Women rarely work that way. Plus content of a profile can deter as well as attract

You shave your armpits?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm slightly surprised my fab woes have generated so much discussion.

Thanks for the feedback though. I agree my pics are perhaps lacking a touch of creativity.

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By *igh Tower69Man over a year ago

Luton

Mate.. your not the only one on here in that position. You just have to try and contact as many people whos profile floatsyour boat.

Read the profile and message which is relevant to that profile. If they dont reply then like your name suggests. Does it matter. Go on to the next.

Thats all i can suggest mate. Dont get down. It really aint worth it.. Good luck buddy

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By *ollyGWoman over a year ago

Southampton

"This is site really can be a challenge sometimes. Seems like no matter what you say or do, your just not hot enough for most women on here (even if there far from perfect)

It's the messing around and not meeting that does it! I'm no oil painting so please don't judge!

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Well for myself, the site was recommended after a visit to a club. I had a great time at the club meeting lots of people who were exceptionally friendly and I suppose I expected the same on the site.

As you say maybe it's my profile that's the issue or maybe just me!"

Perhaps you could have got some veries from your club visit, that can help sometimes

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By *enis DeMilo1Man over a year ago

Milton Keynes

[Removed by poster at 20/03/18 22:04:52]

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"This is site really can be a challenge sometimes. Seems like no matter what you say or do, your just not hot enough for most women on here (even if there far from perfect)

Most people will look at a profile first, to see if they've made an effort.......

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By *enis DeMilo1Man over a year ago

Milton Keynes

Yes i agree that the ratio of men to women amd even couples on this site is ridiculously unbalanced but we can't change it. Listen to what the ladies are saying about your profile and take note. I'm certainly not perfect so don't take my word as gospel but they know what they are looking for when sifting though the 100's of messages they get from horny guys. You need to try and make yours stand out. Put what you like and dislike in your profile. Put some moody/artistic pics on there too that will help attract the opposite sex other than a load of dick pics lol. Sometimes leaving it to the imagination is sometimes best. You could also look at some of the successful guys profiles and take ideas from them

Also get yourself down the clubs, its sometimes the best way to meet people who can go on to become good FWB's

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Take a step back and look at your profile from a neutral POV.

If you were a single female, would you meet you?

If the answer is yes then no one can help you. If the answer is no, then you already know exactly what you need to do."

Of course he would meet himself if he was a single female. Men join here thinking the site is a shag fest and that women will just drop their knickers for them. When men realise this is not the case they just may get positive results!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Take a step back and look at your profile from a neutral POV.

If you were a single female, would you meet you?

If the answer is yes then no one can help you. If the answer is no, then you already know exactly what you need to do.

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By *otSoNewWalesCoupleCouple over a year ago

South Wales

There is absolutely no difference between Fab and somewhere like a nightclub.

You probably understand only too well that if you're going to pull in a nightclub you need to make an effort.

You need to make yourself attractive and interesting. If/when you DO see a woman you like you approach in a friendly, fun, interesting way.

You don't go to the club scruffy and half-arsed and simply walk up to a woman and say "fancy a shag?". Chances are you wouldn't get far.

The same applies on Fab. Women don't stop having standards just because they're on Fab. Sadly too many men don't get this simple fact.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I don't expect instant results but reality is you don't get through the front door most of the time.

As for making no effort? I do put effort most of the time I to my messages. I also make an effort generally to keep myself in good shape and look the best I can.

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"I don't expect instant results but reality is you don't get through the front door most of the time.

As for making no effort? I do put effort most of the time I to my messages. I also make an effort generally to keep myself in good shape and look the best I can. "

First impressions count....you have to have a great profile and pics. Look at some of the popular single guys on here and the effort they have made.

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By *hamboy69Man over a year ago

huddersfield

"I just use it to augment my club visits and socials. So I can say ‘yes’ if someone asks for a veri.

I don’t bother using it to try find the actual meets. They tend to happen more in ‘real life’ where I am proactive at asking people to play in clubs etc

Love the forums though. Must admit x"
Pretty much the same for all the people that I’ve met in clubs most don’t seem to use it for meets only forums and events info

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one. "

That's much better

Good luck!

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one. "

You need to have another re-think.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

You need to have another re-think. "

Cool, care to elaborate on which parts x

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

You need to have another re-think.

Cool, care to elaborate on which parts x"

Are you asking me to critique your profile?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

You need to have another re-think.

Cool, care to elaborate on which parts x

Are you asking me to critique your profile? "

Indeed, if you would. Although I fear your about to tear into it haha

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ok your profile is much better. It tells me that you are interested in bdsm and threesomes with an mf couples. That’s the sort of information that we might look for and in a single guy. What would put us off is your inexperience with couples, which although there’s not much you can do about it, I would advise you not to make it so obvious. I would definately lose the expession ‘experiment with a couple’. Most couples will only play with guys who enjoy the dynamic and would not want to be someone’s experiment. It might be easier to meet couples at a club. Please be aware that most couples on the swing scene are much older than you, and may not feel comfortable playing with someone in their twenties. And on the matter of age, your profile pictures make you look very young, especially as it looks like you are in a student bedroom. I would also advise you to lose the very first paragraph. On the basis that you can’t accommodate have you thought about where you were hoping to play? Do be proactive in this matter, it’s very irritating when single men seem to expect the couple to sort that. As you are interested in bdsm you may want to attend some fetish events, and plenty of clubs have dungeons.

Mrs

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By *eviantdeliteWoman over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Ok your profile is much better. It tells me that you are interested in bdsm and threesomes with an mf couples. That’s the sort of information that we might look for and in a single guy. What would put us off is your inexperience with couples, which although there’s not much you can do about it, I would advise you not to make it so obvious. I would definately lose the expession ‘experiment with a couple’. Most couples will only play with guys who enjoy the dynamic and would not want to be someone’s experiment. It might be easier to meet couples at a club. Please be aware that most couples on the swing scene are much older than you, and may not feel comfortable playing with someone in their twenties. And on the matter of age, your profile pictures make you look very young, especially as it looks like you are in a student bedroom. I would also advise you to lose the very first paragraph. On the basis that you can’t accommodate have you thought about where you were hoping to play? Do be proactive in this matter, it’s very irritating when single men seem to expect the couple to sort that. As you are interested in bdsm you may want to attend some fetish events, and plenty of clubs have dungeons.

Mrs"
h

This is, of course, all your opinion .....how do you know the OP wants to meet couples as old as you....you are assuming...we all started somewhere once.....shame you seem to have forgotten where you were when you started....

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By *unning LinguistMan over a year ago

Edinburgh

I think the ladies on here must get bombarded but agree that it's very disheartening to send message after message, most of which remain unread. For the small percentage that are read, most recipients send no response. Is a polite "No thanks" really too much to ask for?

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By *LUKCouple over a year ago

Loughborough

"Is a polite "No thanks" really too much to ask for?"

Yes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its because men expect a shag just cos they send a female a message

It's a swinging site ...your not a swinger . You just want a shag

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference. "

No pretending here.

I get a message, I'll do 2 things delete it unread, as the first few words on an see, tell me all I need to know, or I see enough to intrigue me & I'll read it.

Then I'll look at the profile, if the message was intresting.

If the profile doesn't grab my attention, I don't even look at the photos.

I've passed up plenty of 'hunks' with crap profiles, in favour of one that made me laugh, smile, think...

Don't judge all women based on the few you think you know

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By *hyguy6869Man over a year ago

leeds

Hard for a single 50 year old guy to get a meet especially being a smoker as well, but hopefully 1 day maybe

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By *ireupthequattroCouple over a year ago

Stratford

We get a lot of mail. Single men sending winks and friends requests at the same time just to look at our pics , hence we took all except one pic of our public page and the friends invites dropped and so did the mail , fed up with guys not reading our profile and still contacting us , if they did read they would know there’s no chance of meeting us if they were not what we’re looking for , most just send random friends request and same old message , so guys read read again and see if the people you are mailing are really looking for someone like you

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By *issy louWoman over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

"I think the ladies on here must get bombarded but agree that it's very disheartening to send message after message, most of which remain unread. For the small percentage that are read, most recipients send no response. Is a polite "No thanks" really too much to ask for?"

I don’t see how an inbox full of “no thanks” messages would make you feel better! Don’t over think things - no reply means no interest. If a lady is interested she WILL reply. That’s it really

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Mrsh

First of all of course is my opinion - I can hardly express anybody elses opinion. Secondly, I haven’t forgotten that we all started somewhere - I don’t know why you drew that conclusion. Because I haven’t forgotten is partly why I am warning him of that potential problem, along with some pointers as to how he could get around that, such as attend clubs. Thirdly, I have have made no assumption to the age group he wishes to meet, simply warned him that most swinging couples are in an older age group than himself and hense highlighted the potential problem with that. The OP’s age range is up to 48 (fact according to his profile, not my assumption), and if he decides to pursue couples I believe it is more likely that he will be mixing with those a fair bit older than himself.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

You need to have another re-think.

Cool, care to elaborate on which parts x

Are you asking me to critique your profile?

Indeed, if you would. Although I fear your about to tear into it haha "

Ok. Your profile text is very good as are your verifications.

Your photos - nope I’m not keen, you look like a statue, lose them and get some shots done without pointing the phone at the mirror. Nice black n white ones against a plain wall backdrop, wearing jeans, open shirt, thumb at waistband leaning against wall - they are sexy type of shots that will get attention! Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So let's stop pretending that if I or anyone else had a detailed profile that it would make the difference.

No pretending here.

I get a message, I'll do 2 things delete it unread, as the first few words on an see, tell me all I need to know, or I see enough to intrigue me & I'll read it.

Then I'll look at the profile, if the message was intresting.

If the profile doesn't grab my attention, I don't even look at the photos.

I've passed up plenty of 'hunks' with crap profiles, in favour of one that made me laugh, smile, think...

Don't judge all women based on the few you think you know "

Yep. The only thing I do differently is deleting the unread. I read and delete. Everything else is a "plus one" to what Phoenix said.

If I message a single guy or MF couple, they read and delete. I take it as a "thanks but no thanks". They didn't ask me to message after all. Like junk mail in my letterbox. Just because I have one, doesn't mean a reply to every single leaflet is warranted.

Fab has a helpful warning message when you have messaged someone before, stating you already did but they didn't reply and to think again before pressing send

. As well as the private notes feature for supporters.

I used to try and reply to every single message but then reaslised doing so means when your filters are on, anyone you have messaged before can still message you.

I do get that it can be disheartening though OP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I been here 6 weeks.

Only received rejections so far.

They've all been polite "no thank you".

Does make me wonder if this site is really any good for single mature straight guys.

Think I should try without my pics

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As others have stated- it is very much a numbers game, because of this a single guy is immediately at a disadvantage. Someone said if you were in a bar with 100 men and 5 women, would you expect to pull? The issue here or in that bar scenario is that guys start using "desperate" tactical moves that won't work. Women then get on the defensive and probably want very little with the guys because they are overwhelmed with attention.

I had a "straight" guy profile on here a while back now, the grand plan was to meet with single women or perhaps couples, my profile was purposely fairly simple and straight to the point, pics were fine (in my opinion) good body, and no direct cock pics either. I managed to meet one woman for a social, I wasn't really attracted to her though so it got left standing that. It is a real challenge getting to meet without face pics.

Even on that old profile, guys would want to meet with me. There are so many guys on the system!

Many others have suggested methods of improving the chances. Generally speaking, I think women operate on a slightly different level to guys and because of this factor, the use of this type of system is not as successful as some may think (my self included, on my old profile)

I have found it much much easier to meet women in bars, clubs or other situations than here.

If I was going to set up a profile on here specifically looking to meet with women again, I would put a fair bit of effort into a profile and the right pics, would have to be prepared to send a face pic with a first message too I think.

You mention in one of your posts you want to meet normal and slim. This brings your chances waaaaaaay down too, am sure there are a fair percentage of reasonably normal but very few are slim on here.

Conclusion- I think the system is very good, easy to use etc but doesn't guarantee results, best to use it as one tool only, pursue other avenues too.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I been here 6 weeks.

Only received rejections so far.

They've all been polite "no thank you".

Does make me wonder if this site is really any good for single mature straight guys.

Think I should try without my pics

Why hide your pics? They can clearly see if they find you attractive or not!

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"As others have stated- it is very much a numbers game, because of this a single guy is immediately at a disadvantage. Someone said if you were in a bar with 100 men and 5 women, would you expect to pull? The issue here or in that bar scenario is that guys start using "desperate" tactical moves that won't work. Women then get on the defensive and probably want very little with the guys because they are overwhelmed with attention.

Even on that old profile, guys would want to meet with me. There are so many guys on the system!

I have found it much much easier to meet women in bars, clubs or other situations than here.

You mention in one of your posts you want to meet normal and slim. This brings your chances waaaaaaay down too, am sure there are a fair percentage of reasonably normal but very few are slim on here.

Conclusion- I think the system is very good, easy to use etc but doesn't guarantee results, best to use it as one tool only, pursue other avenues too."

This is so accurate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Join the club

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I been here 6 weeks.

Only received rejections so far.

They've all been polite "no thank you".

Does make me wonder if this site is really any good for single mature straight guys.

Think I should try without my pics

Why hide your pics? They can clearly see if they find you attractive or not! "

I sent a polite, "thanks but no thanks" message to a photoless and wordless profile once and the reply I received stated that if I want sex, looks are irrelevant and I should just say yes if I'm available to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I been here 6 weeks.

Only received rejections so far.

They've all been polite "no thank you".

Does make me wonder if this site is really any good for single mature straight guys.

Think I should try without my pics

6 weeks is nothing for some men here. Keep trying you might get lucky

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"I been here 6 weeks.

Only received rejections so far.

They've all been polite "no thank you".

Does make me wonder if this site is really any good for single mature straight guys.

Think I should try without my pics

Why hide your pics? They can clearly see if they find you attractive or not!

Outstanding! Would they say that to a woman in a bar and walk out with their legs/cock in one piece! This kind of things really annoys me about ‘some’ men on here.....!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

You need to have another re-think.

Cool, care to elaborate on which parts x

Are you asking me to critique your profile?

Indeed, if you would. Although I fear your about to tear into it haha

Ok. Your profile text is very good as are your verifications.

Just on the photos. While there not the most creative granted, they are a fairly accurate reflection of the reality. I've met people who had nice selfies at nice angles etc but the reality was less pleasent.

At the end of the day, there's no filter in real life or cleaver angle which can hide what you look like. I'm not arguing with the advice, I can take a few shirt/ filter selfies.

I was just making a general point of would you rather see a fancy filtered picture at a specific angle or see the reality of what someone actually looks like?

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By *amissCouple over a year ago

chelmsford

Hello again. I think we all want to see real pictures and I think what people are trying to say, is make them more appealing. So yes, nice pair of jeans with white shirt undone....you do look a bit soldierish. The middle one is not too bad.

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Well I've edited my profile, I didnt think my pics were that bad. Perhaps I'll have to rethink that one.

You need to have another re-think.

Cool, care to elaborate on which parts x

Are you asking me to critique your profile?

Indeed, if you would. Although I fear your about to tear into it haha

Ok. Your profile text is very good as are your verifications.

At the end of the day, there's no filter in real life or cleaver angle which can hide what you look like. I'm not arguing with the advice, I can take a few shirt/ filter selfies.

I was just making a general point of would you rather see a fancy filtered picture at a specific angle or see the reality of what someone actually looks like? "

Forget other people’s you have met OP. Believe me the pose I have described, most women on here will find ultra sexy. You ask my opinion and argue you cheeky little monkey. Listen to a lady who knows what she is talking about. Now go, run along and capture some sexy poses please

looking forward to seeing them....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes i do..should i mention that seperately? i did mention shaved private areas as well..

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Profile update hasn't made much difference so far

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"Papillon,

I don't have lofted expectations and I've had about 4/5 meets off here to varying degree of success.

I'll admit I'm no stud and my face is quite youngish looking. At the same time I'm surprised how many times I have been rejected. Equally I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me.

What do I expect.. Well I would hope to find some normal thin ladies around my age to have some fun with. I'm not expecting super models to come to my door.

"
use reply and quote, much easier. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Conclusion I was right all along. Profile makes fuck all difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Conclusion I was right all along. Profile makes fuck all difference. "

My profile has not done me any harm and i used advice given to others when I stumbled into the forums.

Guess you're very impatient

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By *onysutchMan over a year ago

luton

"Take a step back and look at your profile from a neutral POV.

If you were a single female, would you meet you?

If the answer is yes then no one can help you. If the answer is no, then you already know exactly what you need to do.

not all men are like that...

for me the first thing that Id like is to get a chat or at least a social but I don't even get a reply to set that chance up lol.

how am I supposed to prove I'm genuine if no-one replies and all this get down to some clubs would help except that I only have one club local and they only have one night a week for both sexes.

what would your advice be to this problem please..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Take a step back and look at your profile from a neutral POV.

If you were a single female, would you meet you?

If the answer is yes then no one can help you. If the answer is no, then you already know exactly what you need to do.

not all men are like that...

for me the first thing that Id like is to get a chat or at least a social but I don't even get a reply to set that chance up lol.

how am I supposed to prove I'm genuine if no-one replies and all this get down to some clubs would help except that I only have one club local and they only have one night a week for both sexes.

what would your advice be to this problem please.."

Travel a bit further

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think a well written profile is quite important for a lot of men on here. I’d certainly advise those with minimal profiles to put more effort into writing them. Some may not need them because of their physical attributes but if you’re not one of these, then you have to reply on other aspects. On here we have the facility for photos and text so two opportunities to impress, catch the eye of, call it what you will, of potential sexual partners. I think the shop window analogy is a good one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Conclusion I was right all along. Profile makes fuck all difference. "

Would have commented but you seem to have hidden your profile, c’est la vie.

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By *onysutchMan over a year ago

luton

"I been here 6 weeks.

Only received rejections so far.

They've all been polite "no thank you".

Does make me wonder if this site is really any good for single mature straight guys.

Think I should try without my pics

Why hide your pics? They can clearly see if they find you attractive or not!

Outstanding! Would they say that to a woman in a bar and walk out with their legs/cock in one piece! This kind of things really annoys me about ‘some’ men on here.....! "

I know right the bad eggs spoil it for the good ones ????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Still people joining a swinging site and not understanding the swinging lifestyle

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