FabSwingers.com > Forums > Introductions > What am I doing wrong lol
What am I doing wrong lol
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been on this site for over a year just had to make new account, I don't seem to get anywhere with anyone trying to just talk about meeting doesn't go anywhere and I'm lucky if I even get a message back, I really want to get into the lifestyle and experience new things but not getting anywhere any ideas what im doing wrong |
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It's very difficult for single men . All I suggest is that you keep the faith, send a picture with your first message doesn't need to be your face and ensure you match the criteria of the profile you're contacting.
Good luck |
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"I've been on this site for over a year just had to make new account, I don't seem to get anywhere with anyone trying to just talk about meeting doesn't go anywhere and I'm lucky if I even get a message back, I really want to get into the lifestyle and experience new things but not getting anywhere any ideas what im doing wrong"
No pics and your profile write up is not enthralling.....
Sell yourself, what have you got to offer over the thousands of others?
There is some really good profile advice floating around on the forums so would suggest you have a read. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Look at your own profile. Imagine you were a single woman, with thousands of single men with great photo's and articulate profile content to choose from.
Would you, choose you ? |
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Do a forum search on "Profile Advice" plenty of people asking similar questions with good advice given ... being a single male you contend with A LOT of other single men ... you have to stand out from the crowd more
Good luck |
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"Sell yourself.....
I got £2,50 and a half eaten cream egg last time.....
Nailed it...
Complete or licked out?
Complete, I was lucky that time... "
Licking out can be fun though ... but I digress... |
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"Sell yourself.....
I got £2,50 and a half eaten cream egg last time.....
Nailed it...
Complete or licked out?
Complete, I was lucky that time...
Licking out can be fun though ... but I digress..."
You are a master at digressing my friend.....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
Sounds like the typical basic male on fab  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
Also if you click reply+quote we’ll know who you’re replying to |
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
I don't want anyone finding me on here either. I still have plenty of pictures... ones that aren't likely to identify me. And not knowing what to write... Well, that's not how you sell yourself. Give it thought. |
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
Pics don't have to be face pics ... can be very imaginative and can often be used to spark conversations from people
Check out profiles of guys on here that assist to be successful ... and ask yourself how you could emulate |
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
Dont have to show your face, something is better than nothing......look at other profiles you will see, people rather see some effort put into a profile........no pics and saying you need NSA fun will get you zip.....  |
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol
Dont have to show your face, something is better than nothing......look at other profiles you will see, people rather see some effort put into a profile........no pics and saying you need NSA fun will get you zip..... "
Bloody copycat!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol
I don't want anyone finding me on here either. I still have plenty of pictures... ones that aren't likely to identify me. And not knowing what to write... Well, that's not how you sell yourself. Give it thought. " I have alot of tattoos and it wouldn't be hard to figure out it's me Im quite well known where im from |
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
the pics do not need to show face! torso shots etc often attract the female version of fab members and tbh read "discrete" = read cheating married ( not saying you are but its the fav word of the cheater lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
I only show my face picture to people I want to show it to, but still have pictures on my profile. You can be discreet and still show some of yourself. Also your write up is somewhat lacking (understatement), it doesn’t have to paragraphs long, but something which shows a bit of personality/wit/intrigue usually does the trick for me x |
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Try pics of your in a gorilla suit out something equally bizarre ... may show you have a sense of humour, don't take life too seriously and may get people asking questions .. which is then an opening .. lateral thinking |
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It's as simple as this. There are way, way more men on here than anyone else. If you can't create an appealing presence, including a profile with pictures, then your chances go from low to virtually none. |
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"Wouldn’t it be nice if people replied to messages even the standard no is better than being ignored "
Delete without reply means no thank you. As a woman, I dont have time to answer all my messages, let alone the but why or abuse I get in return.
Develop a thick skin. Everyone needs it here for different reasons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s called common courtesy something this country is lacking "
No, it’s not.
When you receive junk mail in the post/in your emails, do you reply to it?
I often get abuse for saying ‘no thank you’ to someone. So no. I won’t be replying to everyone  |
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Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits |
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"It’s called common courtesy something this country is lacking "
It's called situational manners. On a site like this, replying to every single message is unworkable. It's right there in the FAQ which is available when you join. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s called common courtesy something this country is lacking "
But unfortunately, many don't have the common courtesy to accept a polite no thank you. We often get bombed with 'why not' 'just try me' 'you wouldn't be disappointed' or occasionally abuse 'I wouldn’t normally fuck a fatty anyway but I was desperate ' etc. |
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When the majority of my messages do what I ask of them in my profile, and I somehow become confident that a polite no thank you will be respected (and I won't be abused as a result), then I might think about sending no thank yous again.
... That's extremely unlikely from where I'm sitting. |
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"Wouldn’t it be nice if people replied to messages even the standard no is better than being ignored "
sadly most dont because they have learned if you do reply with a polite "thanks but no thanks" you immediately get abuse back half the time (note I said HALF! i know not everyone does)  |
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"I can't really have lots of pics as I don't want people finding out im on here such as friends family colleges, Im really not quite sure what to write in profile or in messages just writing along the lines that im looking to meet likeminded people for nsa discrete fun either reg meeys or one off, it is a bit discouraging when no ones interested Im not a model but i don't think im ugly either lol"
You dont need to post pics that identify you.
None of ours is a full facial pic.
Just try to pad it out a little, plenty of good advice here for you on this thread and the countless others. Also actively joining in the forum is a good way to meet people, but perhaps not local to you unfortunately. Good luck. Jo |
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"Wouldn’t it be nice if people replied to messages even the standard no is better than being ignored
sadly most dont because they have learned if you do reply with a polite "thanks but no thanks" you immediately get abuse back half the time (note I said HALF! i know not everyone does) "
Also ... 2 minutes to make a reply? If you get just 30 unsolicited mails ... that's an hour of your day gone on something you didn't instigate in the first place ... FAQs do clearly say .. no reply means not interested ... so get over it
But this is going beyond what the OP originally asked |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits" Im not being negative just facts if they weren't an issue i would take the advice and say fuck all but they are the reasons I can't |
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The advice stands.
If you don't have photos you're extremely unlikely to get far. Clothes and makeup exist (I regularly use makeup to hide blemishes which might increase my chance of being spotted, where I've posted part of my face).
Not knowing what to write is indistinguishable from lazy and is not my problem. |
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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insane © einstein
Change something op. Find out what works for you and stick to that. Remember You can't be everything to everyone.
Me I figured it out... I'm out of most folks leagues so I know why I have so few replies .  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits" I would like to think i am very positive But just don't want everyone I know finding out im on here the majority of the world aren't as likeminded |
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"Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits Im not being negative just facts if they weren't an issue i would take the advice and say fuck all but they are the reasons I can't "
Understood .. know its tricky .. but pics don't necessarily have to be you, as I said ... sometimes odd or funny pics can get people talking
Genuinely .. good luck |
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By *_RiderMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
I would dare say my profile is far more attractive than yours op, yet I am in the same boat. I am looking to change mine further. Really work on your profile, just by joining a site like this doesn't guarantee a thing. Effort and patience needed. |
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with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits Im not being negative just facts if they weren't an issue i would take the advice and say fuck all but they are the reasons I can't "
Why can’t you you write more in your bio? |
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"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insane © einstein
Change something op. Find out what works for you and stick to that. Remember You can't be everything to everyone.
Me I figured it out... I'm out of most folks leagues so I know why I have so few replies . "
Phew that's good....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that " lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet "
Do you know anyone who is twisted enough to do that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits Im not being negative just facts if they weren't an issue i would take the advice and say fuck all but they are the reasons I can't
Why can’t you you write more in your bio?" what would I write Im really not being difficult just really shit at this sort of thing not sure what people actually want to hear |
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet "
So figure out how to make yourself more anonymous. Clothes. Makeup. Angles. If I can do it so can you. (no I don't have tattoos, but I do have some big scars I've carefully hidden) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A profile like yours wouldn't interest me as it says nothing about you.
If you give up you'll get nowhere, so just make some improvements like pictures and more information on your profile and keep persevering with interesting, funny and personal messages! And if you're sure you don't know the person you're trying your luck with, just attach a few photos. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet
So figure out how to make yourself more anonymous. Clothes. Makeup. Angles. If I can do it so can you. (no I don't have tattoos, but I do have some big scars I've carefully hidden) " again not being difficult and appreciate everyones input but my tats are everywhere and pretty recognizable Im always happy to exchange pics in messages as long as I get one back trust is a big thing |
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet "
Ok ok OP, stop thinking of the "what you crnt do" and start working on what you can.......
Cover tatts
Hide face
Spend a couple of hours taking pics and hiding what you think gives you away
Write a profile, you can always go back and change it as you go along...
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What to write.
Something about you.
What you have to offer.
What you're looking for.
What makes you different?
(no I won't say what to write, I don't know you and it has to come from you. But you need to sell yourself) |
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet
So figure out how to make yourself more anonymous. Clothes. Makeup. Angles. If I can do it so can you. (no I don't have tattoos, but I do have some big scars I've carefully hidden) again not being difficult and appreciate everyones input but my tats are everywhere and pretty recognizable Im always happy to exchange pics in messages as long as I get one back trust is a big thing"
That's not my problem. I've given advice which would work for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"with the utmost respect OP you asked advice ( sort of) most on here offered good advice without the usually slagging off but all you seem to respond is negatively with reasons why YOU cannot do that lol they are not negative just reasons sorry for not wanting my family and friends or even my kids finding out im on here I think thats a good reason to not plaster photos of myself all over here would you like it if someone messaged your parents telling them and have to explain why they had to see my cock on the Internet
So figure out how to make yourself more anonymous. Clothes. Makeup. Angles. If I can do it so can you. (no I don't have tattoos, but I do have some big scars I've carefully hidden) again not being difficult and appreciate everyones input but my tats are everywhere and pretty recognizable Im always happy to exchange pics in messages as long as I get one back trust is a big thing
That's not my problem. I've given advice which would work for you. " thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Post a picture of your throbbing cock as your avatar. Add to your profile that your Bi and are looking to be pegged. Finally always put text speak in your profile, the ‘birds’ love this.
I’ll guarantee you’ll be drowning in minge in no time at all.
You can thank me later  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thing is OP ... people are making suggestions to you ... some of which are helpful, but so far all that's seen are reasons why you can't do that ... people generally don't like negative
Remember that the green arrow shows all the threads you post to, which others can see .. and may use if they are checking you out ... so wit and positivity work as more alluring traits I would like to think i am very positive But just don't want everyone I know finding out im on here the majority of the world aren't as likeminded "
Surely, if they are on here... |
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Op nobody is obliged to post photos on the net and I would advise anyone who wants to 100% maintain discretion not to put them up. Some of the most popular contributors to the forum gave no pictures or one or two completely unidentifiable ones.
My advice to you would be write a filler profile and try to join in on forum threads in a positive way. This isn't a guarantee of success because many single men do find it challenging.
Again I wish you luck  |
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By *aFee RougeWoman
over a year ago
Luton, Bedfordshire |
What's the problem tho.
We are all here for the same reason. Imho:
no face pic No body pics and no info is straight delete
No pics of any kind but clear, well written summary of you, your likes will get some interest pending pictures of face/body/cock
Plenty of pics and information will get full engagement
Also when you contact somebody: do not be desperate or sound you are acting exclusively on a temporary surge of hormones and then disappear into nothing.
As fast as it is to meet people, engagement is what ensures the meet actually happens.
Lastly don't drag the convo for too long or interest get diluted to then disappear.
:-*
Hope this helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, not sure if you're aware, but you can hide your profile from being available to be seen anywhere but on here. You do it through the options in the 'account' tab. That way, nobody who is not on Fab should be able to see your photos.
I'm guessing you're playing without permission as you are very worried about anyone recognising you on here. Which is fine, you're one of many people in similar situation. Still, having no profile pic will not help with getting replies to your messages.
Maybe you should think if it's really a site for you? As I guess going to clubs or organised socials, to get yourself known for your personality in real life, is not an option? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What about a pic in a suit, no face, or a slightly open shirt? Or your bum if you don't have tattoos there..
I used to worry about being spotted on here but if someone does.. Well they are on here too so unlikely to do anything about it without being exposed themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just give up I have lol more chance of pulling in Sainsbury’s than here "
Yet you’re still here? and you’ve had a verification in the 3months you’ve been here so you’re not doing that bad |
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Most single men will struggle on Fab, due to the sheer volume of them, in comparison to others that they want sex with. As such, it's ideal to improve your potential odds, by providing what others want, as easily as possible. If you're in a more remote area, with fewer people in easy reach, it likely becomes more pronounced as an issue.
People read profiles, when they get messages, so it's always ideal if people optimise their profiles. You've not asked for advice on this specifically but it's worth looking in the forum for profile tips and advice.
Your online persona has to be used to 'sell' you - especially important due to the volume of competition. Everytime you write, your forum posts, your profile, will influence others: aim to get it so that it leaves people wanting more and liking what they've seen.
Put yourself in the shoes of others that you'd to know. What would they want from someone like you? How will they know that you're offering what they need? How do they know if they're attracted to you, or not?
Overall, if others are in doubt, they'll probably move on to the next person, who may just be the solution.
Aim to continuously improve your approach, learning as you go along. Look at other similar people to you and see if they have any good ways of communicating/selling themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wouldn’t it be nice if people replied to messages even the standard no is better than being ignored "
Had a peaks of over 250 messages in One day, how on earth can I answer to all of them? It's not a full time job, Id rather spend my time answering people I find interesting. Wouldnt you do the same? |
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