FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Explain me this...
Explain me this...
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Why do (some  ) men take it as a personal goal to push a woman’s boundaries? Why when women say “no” or even my favourite “Thanks but no thanks” do these men think that means “no really, ask and ask and ask again”?
Why is No so universally disrespected on here.
My boundaries are there because I’ve decided I don’t want to do something. I don’t have to explain this to ANYONE. I don’t have to justify them to ANYONE. So if anyone could possibly explain why when a woman clearly says No, her inbox will be subsequently filled with pleading, pathetic, abusive or repetitive messages.
Why won’t you go bareback? You said you did it once with a lover, why not me?
I’ll make you like anal.
All women are really bi (a couples’ gem)
Why can’t we fuck tonight?
You only don’t like being fingered cos you’ve never had it done by me.
You look like a hooker but I’d never pay you
I’ll make you like me fucking your face.
I know you said you weren’t interested but PLEASASEEEE reconsider.
I could dominate you, you just think you don’t want it.
And before the butt-hurt men and couples come on thinking I’m the only one that gets these messages? Think again. My block list is ridiculously long and added to daily, but OMG, a new profile or “a friend of mines profile” pops up every day!!!
Why can’t women just say f**king NO and it be respected!?
Any insight would be appreciated because I’m almost done with it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stay strong it may seem like these guys sending these shit messages are the majority but for every shit head there's an equal amount of decent guya. I even chatted and met with a few of them. 
It is disheartening though I get it. I simply block and move on, not worth wasting your time on.
Hope you're doing ok
I sent you a message if you ever want to chat give me a shout x |
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My point exactly I was trying to make on the thread about Newbies refresher course....
No means no.... doesnt mean send another message couple days/weeks later.... or give abuse....
Thick skin and then some is needed on here....
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
Can't believe some of those messages/real life comments you got OP!
I was reared with a fear of an Irish Mammy armed with a wooden spoon and teachers that would give you a good clip on the ear for cheekiness.
I fully respect when someone says No.
I do wonder if a lot of the disrespect comes from an under 30 crowd?
Having said that, I don't want to generalise as I know that the sale of wooden spoons has decreased but I hear they're still in use in some stand up households  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't believe some of those messages/real life comments you got OP!
I was reared with a fear of an Irish Mammy armed with a wooden spoon and teachers that would give you a good clip on the ear for cheekiness.
I fully respect when someone says No.
I do wonder if a lot of the disrespect comes from an under 30 crowd?
Having said that, I don't want to generalise as I know that the sale of wooden spoons has decreased but I hear they're still in use in some stand up households "
Definitely has nothing to do with age.
I honestly think it's because we are a disposable society, everything at our fingers sort to say, "if I dont give it up the next one might so why bother making an effort."
As for the question op asked I think its just cause they can with no repercussions doubt 99% of them would even think of speaking to you in person like that.
I think a automatic block regarding messages would be great so you send me one and I don't reply and than you send a second one and I dont reply on the third attempt, system automatically replies to the sender "Computer Says No"  |
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"Can't believe some of those messages/real life comments you got OP!
I was reared with a fear of an Irish Mammy armed with a wooden spoon and teachers that would give you a good clip on the ear for cheekiness.
I fully respect when someone says No.
I do wonder if a lot of the disrespect comes from an under 30 crowd?
Having said that, I don't want to generalise as I know that the sale of wooden spoons has decreased but I hear they're still in use in some stand up households "
No they aren’t under 30. In fact, guys under 30 are little more respectful. |
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"
I think a automatic block regarding messages would be great so you send me one and I don't reply and than you send a second one and I dont reply on the third attempt, system automatically replies to the sender "Computer Says No" "
YES!!!
And a general IP blocker would be good too. So you block one pushy dickhead and when he pops up under his second profile a week later and tries again, he’s automatically blocked. Also, nothing worse than seeing said men on their 3rd profile that month post the same smarm all over the forums. Over and over. Barf. |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"
I think a automatic block regarding messages would be great so you send me one and I don't reply and than you send a second one and I dont reply on the third attempt, system automatically replies to the sender "Computer Says No"
YES!!!
And a general IP blocker would be good too. So you block one pushy dickhead and when he pops up under his second profile a week later and tries again, he’s automatically blocked. Also, nothing worse than seeing said men on their 3rd profile that month post the same smarm all over the forums. Over and over. Barf. "
Not sure but I think IP block would be pointless with mobile devices as their assigned random ones each time they connect.
It's the MAC address that needs to be blocked.
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"Can't believe some of those messages/real life comments you got OP!
I was reared with a fear of an Irish Mammy armed with a wooden spoon and teachers that would give you a good clip on the ear for cheekiness.
I fully respect when someone says No.
I do wonder if a lot of the disrespect comes from an under 30 crowd?
Having said that, I don't want to generalise as I know that the sale of wooden spoons has decreased but I hear they're still in use in some stand up households
No they aren’t under 30. In fact, guys under 30 are little more respectful. "
Interesting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can't believe some of those messages/real life comments you got OP!
I was reared with a fear of an Irish Mammy armed with a wooden spoon and teachers that would give you a good clip on the ear for cheekiness.
I fully respect when someone says No.
I do wonder if a lot of the disrespect comes from an under 30 crowd?
Having said that, I don't want to generalise as I know that the sale of wooden spoons has decreased but I hear they're still in use in some stand up households
No they aren’t under 30. In fact, guys under 30 are little more respectful. "
Yes! I must say the younger guys are well mannered and it happened to me twice when he was definitely d*unk, and got a block in less than 5 seconds.
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"Can't believe some of those messages/real life comments you got OP!
I was reared with a fear of an Irish Mammy armed with a wooden spoon and teachers that would give you a good clip on the ear for cheekiness.
I fully respect when someone says No.
I do wonder if a lot of the disrespect comes from an under 30 crowd?
Having said that, I don't want to generalise as I know that the sale of wooden spoons has decreased but I hear they're still in use in some stand up households
No they aren’t under 30. In fact, guys under 30 are little more respectful.
Yes! I must say the younger guys are well mannered and it happened to me twice when he was definitely d*unk, and got a block in less than 5 seconds.
"
Phew!
Just checked and it wasn't me
I'm frequently d*unk during CV19 weekends  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I can only imagine the volume of these messages.
Filters help a lot but probably also blocked the right guys.
Im lucky enough as no interest in men
I am on fab around 6 months, and definitely younger men have more respect than 40+
The reason may vary but in my opinion most of the guys 40+ are married/ attached, and being rejected is not what they expected, so the anger won.
I am pretty sure most of the lads would never say something abusive when.meeting us in the park, pub or on the steet. They think 'Iam anonymous, let's put her down'
And for the men who are gents : its not about you, be yourself, have patience, and a lovely lady will meet you some day |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"OP, I can only imagine the volume of these messages.
Filters help a lot but probably also blocked the right guys.
Im lucky enough as no interest in men
I am on fab around 6 months, and definitely younger men have more respect than 40+
The reason may vary but in my opinion most of the guys 40+ are married/ attached, and being rejected is not what they expected, so the anger won.
I am pretty sure most of the lads would never say something abusive when.meeting us in the park, pub or on the steet. They think 'Iam anonymous, let's put her down'
And for the men who are gents : its not about you, be yourself, have patience, and a lovely lady will meet you some day"
Phew! Again
Was getting ready for arant before I read the last paragraph.
I think I might not be the intended audience  |
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By *dfabMan
over a year ago
Dunboyne |
"@JDfab I have had a pleasure to chat to a few lovely men 40+ and even 60+ but they are rare gems on fab in my opinion. "
Delighted to hear that.
There's a few gents about
We're a diamond in the rough |
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"Why do (some ) men take it as a personal goal to push a woman’s boundaries? Why when women say “no” or even my favourite “Thanks but no thanks” do these men think that means “no really, ask and ask and ask again”?
Why is No so universally disrespected on here.
My boundaries are there because I’ve decided I don’t want to do something. I don’t have to explain this to ANYONE. I don’t have to justify them to ANYONE. So if anyone could possibly explain why when a woman clearly says No, her inbox will be subsequently filled with pleading, pathetic, abusive or repetitive messages.
Why won’t you go bareback? You said you did it once with a lover, why not me?
I’ll make you like anal.
All women are really bi (a couples’ gem)
Why can’t we fuck tonight?
You only don’t like being fingered cos you’ve never had it done by me.
You look like a hooker but I’d never pay you
I’ll make you like me fucking your face.
I know you said you weren’t interested but PLEASASEEEE reconsider.
I could dominate you, you just think you don’t want it.
And before the butt-hurt men and couples come on thinking I’m the only one that gets these messages? Think again. My block list is ridiculously long and added to daily, but OMG, a new profile or “a friend of mines profile” pops up every day!!!
Why can’t women just say f**king NO and it be respected!?
Any insight would be appreciated because I’m almost done with it. "
I'm gunna go on a whim here but I have this feeling you have just recently been approached by this or these individuals
But the answer to your question is quite simple the word 'no' is the trigger word for those that are a little unhinged and therefore probably needs to see a psychiatrist or something |
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It is really awful. I don't even bother reading messages these days because I don't want to deal with it. Even trying to convince me to meet during the pandemic even though I make it very clear I won't.
And in my experience the 40+ men are the most entitled and least respectful demographic on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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TBH I've learned to not reply at all to peeps that are not to my taste. You just get plagued by them ... We all have our types/tastes/preferences etc As They Do... Just because it's online they may pester you. If it was in a Bar or Club they`d be thrown out & possibly barred |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is really awful. I don't even bother reading messages these days because I don't want to deal with it. Even trying to convince me to meet during the pandemic even though I make it very clear I won't.
And in my experience the 40+ men are the most entitled and least respectful demographic on fab. "
Agreed 1000%. The young lads have way more respect. My advice to all Fab Females just don't reply... Sometimes you can get the jist of a msg before even opening it... So Don't Open It. Like who do some Males on here think us Females are... Stay Safe Girls |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I actually find the opposite that it's the younger guys especially in their 30s who are the worst when they message that's why my filters are for over 40s .I rarely get any shitty messages anymore since I raised my age filters .When my were lower I got a lot more especially from guys in their mid 30s.
Mind you I've so many filters on anyhow I don't get many messages and anyone who who does get through and is pushy either gets blocked or a note put on their profile and then any other messages they send just get deleted unread. If I say no I mean it so there is no point in trying to change my mind.
There is no point in letting people get to you on here so many will just try and piss you off just to get a reaction .That also includes women who message who think you should fuck them or their partner for a treat for them.
Sometimes it's just easier to block all incoming mail and do the looking yourself and send messages to those whose profiles you like .
Things will never change on here and most who send those message anyhow don't read the forum's and if they do they don't care and will continue to send messages like that .Don't let them ruin your experience there are plenty of decent people on here as well . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stay strong it may seem like these guys sending these shit messages are the majority but for every shit head there's an equal amount of decent guya. I even chatted and met with a few of them.
It is disheartening though I get it. I simply block and move on, not worth wasting your time on.
Hope you're doing ok
I sent you a message if you ever want to chat give me a shout x"
ditto this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I genuinely can't answer the why.
I'd hazard a guess that because the type of site we are on some people think everyone on it is a rabid Horndog with an insatiable desire to be fucked every which way by as many people as possible!!
If its any consolation, men get them too(from other men) I've blocked a few that won't take no for an answer even though it says "straight" on my profile.
I changed my filters now, but the ones who have mailed before I done that can still mail for some reason.
Anyway, short answer is I don't know but I reckon my guess is fairly close to the mark. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I genuinely can't answer the why.
I'd hazard a guess that because the type of site we are on some people think everyone on it is a rabid Horndog with an insatiable desire to be fucked every which way by as many people as possible!!
If its any consolation, men get them too(from other men) I've blocked a few that won't take no for an answer even though it says "straight" on my profile.
I changed my filters now, but the ones who have mailed before I done that can still mail for some reason.
Anyway, short answer is I don't know but I reckon my guess is fairly close to the mark."
Once you have answered someone or winked at someone they can then message you outside your filters. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stay strong it may seem like these guys sending these shit messages are the majority but for every shit head there's an equal amount of decent guya. I even chatted and met with a few of them.
It is disheartening though I get it. I simply block and move on, not worth wasting your time on.
Hope you're doing ok
I sent you a message if you ever want to chat give me a shout x"
This is very true. |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I suppose people can be assholes no matter what their age
Genuinely believe its the way someone is raised at home as to whether they're respectful or not towards other people.
People are not used to being told no anymore
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I suppose people can be assholes no matter what their age
Genuinely believe its the way someone is raised at home as to whether they're respectful or not towards other people.
People are not used to being told no anymore
"
This
Just as in the real world, most assholes can be easily avoided. It's best to do your own searching around here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry op u are going threw this it gives the genuine good guys a bad rep cause guys thinks ladies on this must be desperate and will fuk anyone so they keep hounding until u give in there's a thing called respect thats seriously lacking from some guys on this hope u are ok and try not let the bullies win |
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By *iscuits8Man
over a year ago
Dublin/Birmingham |
Fairly sure I'll get at least one of the usual "white knight" messages off one of the fine upstanding lads here but anyway...
Chaps, if you go on her page and you are quite a bit outside outside her age range - don't message, that's there for a reason. If they only meet a certain height or type of person and you don't match the description - don't message, that's there for a reason. If they are 200km from you and only meet local - don't message, that's there for a reason.
If you message and get no reply - leave it be and move on. If you get a reply and it's a no - part ways and let that be the end of it. We could make a list ten times the length of this, but you get the idea...
On the content of the messages, you wouldn't walk up to a woman in a pub and start off the conversation about bareback, or anal, or how much of a slut you'd say they are. If you would, you probably need to sit down and have a word with yourself.
This is such simple stuff. Really basic manners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ok yes everyone on here should be respectful and recognise other people's boundaries.
But its just not going to happen....ever.
Some people are just asshats, some get carried away because they see some flesh and some enjiyvthe freedom of online anonymity.
The point is no amount of threads or raging will change this.
Block and move on is the only way to deal with this in the long run.
Accepting that you are going to encounter people that make your skin crawl for what ever reason and being liberal with the block button takes alot of the stree out of here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remeber before new messageing system came in you could go 6 months after saying no to each other and then chat again and get on like a house on fire. I think a lot of this was covered in the other thread by Littlemissridinghood. People change, information changes.
There must be some min/max level that is reasonable. Like 6 months or a year. It not less than that. As people said in the last thread, you might get new pictures new verifications etc..
Also a lot of guys send a thousand messages out at a time, and then will probably do it again as rejection is so common vs in a girls expireance. I guess it must work for them to do it.
I am shocked and not shocked at the kinda messages you get. There is a lot of trash people here.
And as the guys say, we can get quite a few insistent men even for men.. looking for the homoerotic sex. Feckin Men! Am I right guurls..(rolls eyes in cliche manner as he wants to be part of the crowd)
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And to prove the point, I’ve been called a useless fat bitch twice since breakfast. Oh and I’ve received 5 cock pics.
The thing is that nearly all the guys I’ve gotten this sort of disrespect or absolutely bullshit off have been men I’ve either met on the forums, through a “game” or been guys I’ve chatted to for a while. It’s like a switch goes off and they turn into assholes. One guy with his 3 profiles is all over the forums... at least it’s well known he’s a scumbag.
It’s proof in point that they ruin for everyone else as I’m pretty sure I won’t be chatting to anyone new for a while. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And to prove the point, I’ve been called a useless fat bitch twice since breakfast. Oh and I’ve received 5 cock pics.
The thing is that nearly all the guys I’ve gotten this sort of disrespect or absolutely bullshit off have been men I’ve either met on the forums, through a “game” or been guys I’ve chatted to for a while. It’s like a switch goes off and they turn into assholes. One guy with his 3 profiles is all over the forums... at least it’s well known he’s a scumbag.
It’s proof in point that they ruin for everyone else as I’m pretty sure I won’t be chatting to anyone new for a while. "
If it keeps happening you may have to name and shame him. Might make it stop. Can you report people on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men are hard wired to want sex even when told no umpteen times.. Its the reason humans have taken over the world.. There are 6 billion of us after all "
They have self-will and self-control though ffs . Thats no excuse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I genuinely can't answer the why.
I'd hazard a guess that because the type of site we are on some people think everyone on it is a rabid Horndog with an insatiable desire to be fucked every which way by as many people as possible!!
If its any consolation, men get them too(from other men) I've blocked a few that won't take no for an answer even though it says "straight" on my profile.
I changed my filters now, but the ones who have mailed before I done that can still mail for some reason.
Anyway, short answer is I don't know but I reckon my guess is fairly close to the mark.
Once you have answered someone or winked at someone they can then message you outside your filters. "
I've never answered them!! I read that on the filters too. It seems to be if they have mailed you before you set the filter they can mail you again.
For men, we don't get as inundated as women so the block button sorted it after stting filters.
I can't understand why it happens and I'm embarrassed for those who do it. Also embarrassed as they are making men look bad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Men are hard wired to want sex even when told no umpteen times.. Its the reason humans have taken over the world.. There are 6 billion of us after all
They have self-will and self-control though ffs . Thats no excuse"
But I want it noowwwwww.....
Throws self to floor |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There is always a certain minority of men or women that can't take a no or rejection and react like described above or worse.
I think on Fab those levels are amplified and now during lockdown amplified even mmfurther.
Its not acceptable at all but I assume the only way to reduce it is to block or ignore as many type of these people as possible unfortunately.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is no reason for bad behavior, spoilt brats who feel they have a sense of entitlement, it’s a lack of respect towards women
Unfortunately the rest of us are tarred with the same brush |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is no reason for bad behavior, spoilt brats who feel they have a sense of entitlement, it’s a lack of respect towards women
Unfortunately the rest of us are tarred with the same brush "
We really aren't though....
If anything it lowers the bar and expectations of not being a cockwomble |
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"There is always a certain minority of men or women that can't take a no or rejection and react like described above or worse.
I think on Fab those levels are amplified and now during lockdown amplified even mmfurther.
Its not acceptable at all but I assume the only way to reduce it is to block or ignore as many type of these people as possible unfortunately.."
I agree that covid seems to be amplifying the issues that have always been part of fab. There's more people around out of boredom, and I'd hedge my bets most of them are just here looking for wank material or to troll. As frustrating as it is you have to just ignore and block. These type of people aren't going to change their ways. In fact some of them get off on stirring shit and seeing the various threads about it.
I get fed up of it all too op, sometimes taking a break away is healthy and necessary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like the lads here need to cop the fuck on.  "
Some are very copped on
Others need to be made stand in the corner facing the wall while the rest of us get on with the business of Fab - pleasure and escapism!!! |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Reduce your age filter op to cut down on incoming mail. To cover the whole age range you want change the age filter from time tontime.
I always regard ignorant utterances as filters. If they want to trip themselves up, keep them coming. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I find really annoying that its us women who have to find strategies to avoid the abhorrent behaviour of men. I mean, Its their responsibility to learn the adequate ways to aproach a woman, specially on here.
If any man values their health and looks to have at least a satisfactory sexual life. Wouldn't you consider to try to make a better effort.
 |
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"I find really annoying that its us women who have to find strategies to avoid the abhorrent behaviour of men. I mean, Its their responsibility to learn the adequate ways to aproach a woman, specially on here.
If any man values their health and looks to have at least a satisfactory sexual life. Wouldn't you consider to try to make a better effort.
"
You are of course right. Its the individuals responsibility to behave appropriately, And learn how they can do better
The fundamental flaw in that as i see it, is you are giving them way too much credit, assuming they have the intelligence to realise they need to change or improve, and then actually doing something about it!
Im still shocked on the most part that men dont just know how to behave. It shouldnt be hard to treat anyone with kindness? (I also give people too much credit. The world has some horrible people) |
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I used to think that the “typical men” on here as described by most women above made it easier for the good men to stand out. Now I’m not so sure. The over 40 point in particular, as I thought we were the kind of age that had old style values along with a naughty mind.
This concerns me about my own generation |
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By *ctoboyMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
I have a motto I've used since being a Founder Member of Fab and one I will always continue to use here in meets and at clubs etc...it's simply this....
Mutual Pleasure Is A Must..
&
NO Means NO!!!!!..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find really annoying that its us women who have to find strategies to avoid the abhorrent behaviour of men. I mean, Its their responsibility to learn the adequate ways to aproach a woman, specially on here.
If any man values their health and looks to have at least a satisfactory sexual life. Wouldn't you consider to try to make a better effort.
"
Like with everything in life, there would be a small minority of men and women who don't care about anyone or anything outside of themselves.
They will not want to learn new behaviours or some may not even have capability to learn unfortunately.
Fab is just an amplified representation of society and although it is not right that women especially are forced to come up with strategies to avoid this type of behaviour it is something that will unfortunately continue while some people on here can't control their emotions and behaviour when it comes to all things sex related. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I used to think that the “typical men” on here as described by most women above made it easier for the good men to stand out. Now I’m not so sure. The over 40 point in particular, as I thought we were the kind of age that had old style values along with a naughty mind.
This concerns me about my own generation "
I seem to be the odd one out here and don't actually get that much crap from the over 40s that's why my filters are set around that age .And I don't drop them anymore for games etc on here.
But why would it concern you if you don't do it ?
I really don't get the whole apologising for others behaviour.
I don't apologise for some of the women on here who can be just as bad as the men for abuse .
Like others have said farther up it's the internet it's going to happen anyhow no about of threads and posts will change that.People hide behind keyboards on here they give abuse because they know they can ,they want reactions off others .You can usually see the gist of a message before you open it so if it's anyway abusive just delete it unread and block .Same as the people who can't take no ,delete the message if you don't give a reaction they get bored pretty fast. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When a poor randied up fellow joins Fab at first he is governed by the little brain found between his two testes just under the shaft of the penis.
It is a known fact that this little brain is oblivious to all reason and common sense. In fact it's so bad that the world is jumbed upside down, where everything's meaning is the polar opposite!
No means yes!
Down means up!
Take it out means push it in further!
I would like to see you again means fuck this I'm outta there ASAP!
Unfortunately, for males it is difficult, not impossible, but difficult to overrule this little demon, driven by one soul purpose of procreation!
Said little demon is responsible for many man's tragedies throughout the annals of time.
Here's some examples:
When Caveman Ugh McGrrrowl first used a bone to club a love rival over the head, it was to gain the affection of a local cave hottie.
The wheel was invented so man could get away faster in a post coital state!
Christopher Columbus travelled the seas looking for Indian Poon only to stumble upon America.
WW2 was borne from a cranky little Austrian being sexually frustrated as result of some Jewish cockblocking.
And most recently, man traveled to the Moon in search of Moon Poon. Finding none there they're now searching Mars!
So the next time a randy bugger persistes even though No was said a few times.
Say "Hey fuckface, stop listening to your pecker and have some goddam manners and respect"! 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You are of course right. Its the individuals responsibility to behave appropriately, And learn how they can do better
The fundamental flaw in that as i see it, is you are giving them way too much credit, assuming they have the intelligence to realise they need to change or improve, and then actually doing something about it!
Im still shocked on the most part that men dont just know how to behave. It shouldnt be hard to treat anyone with kindness? (I also give people too much credit. The world has some horrible people) "
Well, yes I'll give credit, simply because some people don't know better. They just didn't learn or been told how to. And also judging a person by just one trait is not fair. Hurting people will always try to hurt. Obviously its not our responsibility to go healing everyone or stoically resist, but maybe if we all contributed with our 2 cents. Like this thread and others on the forums help to discuss this important topics and might help save a life in the fab world, not for us but just for the sake, as you say to be kind. (but yeah, some are completely lost cases and can't be saved).
We human beings are been told we are the worst specimens but I choose to believe the opposite.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When a poor randied up fellow joins Fab at first he is governed by the little brain found between his two testes just under the shaft of the penis.
It is a known fact that this little brain is oblivious to all reason and common sense. In fact it's so bad that the world is jumbed upside down, where everything's meaning is the polar opposite!
No means yes!
Down means up!
Take it out means push it in further!
I would like to see you again means fuck this I'm outta there ASAP!
Unfortunately, for males it is difficult, not impossible, but difficult to overrule this little demon, driven by one soul purpose of procreation!
Said little demon is responsible for many man's tragedies throughout the annals of time.
Here's some examples:
When Caveman Ugh McGrrrowl first used a bone to club a love rival over the head, it was to gain the affection of a local cave hottie.
The wheel was invented so man could get away faster in a post coital state!
Christopher Columbus travelled the seas looking for Indian Poon only to stumble upon America.
WW2 was borne from a cranky little Austrian being sexually frustrated as result of some Jewish cockblocking.
And most recently, man traveled to the Moon in search of Moon Poon. Finding none there they're now searching Mars!
So the next time a randy bugger persistes even though No was said a few times.
Say "Hey fuckface, stop listening to your pecker and have some goddam manners and respect"!
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Say "Hey fuckface, stop listening to your pecker and have some goddam manners and respect"!
"
Cracking way of mixing biology history and sex beastman. And this bottom line is what I'm reffering to. That helps |
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"
You are of course right. Its the individuals responsibility to behave appropriately, And learn how they can do better
The fundamental flaw in that as i see it, is you are giving them way too much credit, assuming they have the intelligence to realise they need to change or improve, and then actually doing something about it!
Im still shocked on the most part that men dont just know how to behave. It shouldnt be hard to treat anyone with kindness? (I also give people too much credit. The world has some horrible people)
Well, yes I'll give credit, simply because some people don't know better. They just didn't learn or been told how to. And also judging a person by just one trait is not fair. Hurting people will always try to hurt. Obviously its not our responsibility to go healing everyone or stoically resist, but maybe if we all contributed with our 2 cents. Like this thread and others on the forums help to discuss this important topics and might help save a life in the fab world, not for us but just for the sake, as you say to be kind. (but yeah, some are completely lost cases and can't be saved).
We human beings are been told we are the worst specimens but I choose to believe the opposite.
"
Conversation is always healthy. And i for one always learn something from it!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Say "Hey fuckface, stop listening to your pecker and have some goddam manners and respect"!
Cracking way of mixing biology history and sex beastman. And this bottom line is what I'm reffering to. That helps "
It is fact!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to think that the “typical men” on here as described by most women above made it easier for the good men to stand out. Now I’m not so sure. The over 40 point in particular, as I thought we were the kind of age that had old style values along with a naughty mind.
This concerns me about my own generation
I seem to be the odd one out here and don't actually get that much crap from the over 40s that's why my filters are set around that age .And I don't drop them anymore for games etc on here.
But why would it concern you if you don't do it ?
I really don't get the whole apologising for others behaviour.
I don't apologise for some of the women on here who can be just as bad as the men for abuse .
Like others have said farther up it's the internet it's going to happen anyhow no about of threads and posts will change that.People hide behind keyboards on here they give abuse because they know they can ,they want reactions off others .You can usually see the gist of a message before you open it so if it's anyway abusive just delete it unread and block .Same as the people who can't take no ,delete the message if you don't give a reaction they get bored pretty fast. "
Amen to that. You can't control the behaviour of others, you can control your own and your reactions. Taking offence is a choice most of the time, for some people it seems to become a default. It seems an exhausting way to live |
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"
Amen to that. You can't control the behaviour of others, you can control your own and your reactions. Taking offence is a choice most of the time, for some people it seems to become a default. It seems an exhausting way to live"
You love the victim blaming don’t you? “Taking offence is a choice” being that gem there. I’m not the only one getting this abuse so your attitude is a perfect example of everything wrong with this site.
I’m not sitting here crying LOL, I’m pointing out a real issue of assholes not respecting boundaries and people thinking irs the norm. So thanks for a perfect example of “women should just put up with it”. Nice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Amen to that. You can't control the behaviour of others, you can control your own and your reactions. Taking offence is a choice most of the time, for some people it seems to become a default. It seems an exhausting way to live
You love the victim blaming don’t you? “Taking offence is a choice” being that gem there. I’m not the only one getting this abuse so your attitude is a perfect example of everything wrong with this site.
I’m not sitting here crying LOL, I’m pointing out a real issue of assholes not respecting boundaries and people thinking irs the norm. So thanks for a perfect example of “women should just put up with it”. Nice. "
Nowhere did I say that women should put up with it, just as in the real world, fab is full of assholes, liars, devious, manipulative, downright abusive to your face people, and backstabbers - of all shapes, sizes and genders. Plenty of those who feign social graces are as dangerous as the obvious ones. A certain proportion of the human population have personality disorders which mean that they can't be "fixed", but they can certainly fake nice. Here, as in the world offline, we choose who to associate with. Report and block otherwise. |
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"
If it keeps happening you may have to name and shame him. Might make it stop. Can you report people on here?"
I report frequently. I have zero shame in this. There’s even people who have replied to this specific post who have been reported LOL. Just shows how stupid they are. You can’t name and shame unforch, I have a list in my head of users with 2+ profiles, men who have stolen other users photos, men who insult women who say no. As for a lot of the other stuff, you can’t report people who are dickheads. People who you chat to for weeks who then turn on you when you say you don’t do anal/bareback/BDSM/dogging.
My approach at this stage is to avoid couples (easily done judging by the caliber of comments on this thread) and really anyone who throws up the slightest red flag immediately. I refuse to turn into a “ dos and donts” list owner as I think they are pathetic.
What very few peeps seem to understand is that these aren’t just blokes who message me twice and turn into shithead, these are guys who I’ve chatted to for weeks. Then suddenly my boundaries don’t count? That’s why filters don’t count. That’s why this is about an inherent issue with entitlement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You love the victim blaming don’t you? “Taking offence is a choice” being that gem there. I’m not the only one getting this abuse so your attitude is a perfect example of everything wrong with this site.
I’m not sitting here crying LOL, I’m pointing out a real issue of assholes not respecting boundaries and people thinking irs the norm. So thanks for a perfect example of “women should just put up with it”. Nice. "
Unfortunately the message above was correct. The people who are abusing you on here via messages won't change their ways so it is up to the 'victim' to put in place a way to stop or reduce this type of behaviour.
FAB has no way of dealing with it other than you reporting the profile and then banning people but there will always be an element of rude and abusive people wanting to treat woman badly on here which is shocking to say but also realistic.
The suggestion above is a valid way of reducing these type of messages imo |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"
If it keeps happening you may have to name and shame him. Might make it stop. Can you report people on here?
I report frequently. I have zero shame in this. There’s even people who have replied to this specific post who have been reported LOL. Just shows how stupid they are. You can’t name and shame unforch, I have a list in my head of users with 2+ profiles, men who have stolen other users photos, men who insult women who say no. As for a lot of the other stuff, you can’t report people who are dickheads. People who you chat to for weeks who then turn on you when you say you don’t do anal/bareback/BDSM/dogging.
My approach at this stage is to avoid couples (easily done judging by the caliber of comments on this thread) and really anyone who throws up the slightest red flag immediately. I refuse to turn into a “ dos and donts” list owner as I think they are pathetic.
What very few peeps seem to understand is that these aren’t just blokes who message me twice and turn into shithead, these are guys who I’ve chatted to for weeks. Then suddenly my boundaries don’t count? That’s why filters don’t count. That’s why this is about an inherent issue with entitlement. "
Your opening post can easily be misread as the ever returning topic of not accepting a 'no, not interested' after an initial contact. But this makes it much clearer and I've come across this phenomenon too. I put it down to arrogance and ignorance of selfishly pushing their own sexual agenda or even having a sexual routine that will be applied every time. There's very little interest in a mutual shared experience of joy or customising to the individual you're meeting.
There's very little you can do about it but to steer clear when you sense pushiness, refine your selection process and listen to your gut feeling. A give away is often that those peeps are normally rather bad listeners and have a crap short term memory. Interests listed can give you a hint sometimes too. |
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"
That’s why this is about an inherent issue with entitlement. "
Couldn't agree more. I'm sick to death arguing with men on Fab and elsewhere about my very basic boundaries, like personal safety. If a woman says she wants to meet publicly and you can't be bothered or don't think she's worth that respect or effort, just move on. Don't debate with me about the reason for my boundaries and try to logic me out of them - it has the exact opposite effect.
Even beyond that, there's a lot more to a good meet than simply fancying someone. Practicing discernment and paying attention to whose boundaries MATCH yours will actually be more successful than pushing someone who's already not interested. |
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Lots of human behaviour is unexplainable.
I'm guilty of calling people out for their behaviour on fab but I know I'm pissing against the wind most of the time and I certainly won't apologise on behalf of anyone but myself.
Nothing that is said on these forums makes a blind bit of difference. Arseholery and shithousery is everywhere so fab isn't unique.
If I was a woman on here I'd be looking at other red flags apart from those already mentioned.
Forum goldfish who agree with a comment but a short while later after a few circuits of the bowl they then agree with another comment offering the exact opposite opinion to the previous one.
People who never offer an opinion of their own and spend their time just agreeing with others.
Those "gentlemen" who misinterpret the meaning of that term and believe it only applies to their interaction with women and are incapable of talking civilly to those without a vagina.
Fab is full of intelligent women who can hold their own in any conversation including on the forums and don't need white knights.
Unfortunately it is also full of people who are more than capable of creating online personas and buoyed by the illusion of being "popular" think they can say and do what they want.
In the last few days we've had another brilliant thread about body positivity where everyone was supportive but unfortunately it was quite obvious that not all the comments were sincere as some were made by people who are always the first to mock or belittle.
Just like some of the comments on this very thread are insincere especially from people who have stolen pics from others and then been abusive when called out on it.
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
"Lots of human behaviour is unexplainable.
I'm guilty of calling people out for their behaviour on fab but I know I'm pissing against the wind most of the time and I certainly won't apologise on behalf of anyone but myself.
Nothing that is said on these forums makes a blind bit of difference. Arseholery and shithousery is everywhere so fab isn't unique.
If I was a woman on here I'd be looking at other red flags apart from those already mentioned.
Forum goldfish who agree with a comment but a short while later after a few circuits of the bowl they then agree with another comment offering the exact opposite opinion to the previous one.
People who never offer an opinion of their own and spend their time just agreeing with others.
Those "gentlemen" who misinterpret the meaning of that term and believe it only applies to their interaction with women and are incapable of talking civilly to those without a vagina.
Fab is full of intelligent women who can hold their own in any conversation including on the forums and don't need white knights.
Unfortunately it is also full of people who are more than capable of creating online personas and buoyed by the illusion of being "popular" think they can say and do what they want.
In the last few days we've had another brilliant thread about body positivity where everyone was supportive but unfortunately it was quite obvious that not all the comments were sincere as some were made by people who are always the first to mock or belittle.
Just like some of the comments on this very thread are insincere especially from people who have stolen pics from others and then been abusive when called out on it.
"
Eloquently and accurately put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lots of human behaviour is unexplainable.
I'm guilty of calling people out for their behaviour on fab but I know I'm pissing against the wind most of the time and I certainly won't apologise on behalf of anyone but myself.
Nothing that is said on these forums makes a blind bit of difference. Arseholery and shithousery is everywhere so fab isn't unique.
If I was a woman on here I'd be looking at other red flags apart from those already mentioned.
Forum goldfish who agree with a comment but a short while later after a few circuits of the bowl they then agree with another comment offering the exact opposite opinion to the previous one.
People who never offer an opinion of their own and spend their time just agreeing with others.
Those "gentlemen" who misinterpret the meaning of that term and believe it only applies to their interaction with women and are incapable of talking civilly to those without a vagina.
Fab is full of intelligent women who can hold their own in any conversation including on the forums and don't need white knights.
Unfortunately it is also full of people who are more than capable of creating online personas and buoyed by the illusion of being "popular" think they can say and do what they want.
In the last few days we've had another brilliant thread about body positivity where everyone was supportive but unfortunately it was quite obvious that not all the comments were sincere as some were made by people who are always the first to mock or belittle.
Just like some of the comments on this very thread are insincere especially from people who have stolen pics from others and then been abusive when called out on it.
"
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