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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So we had silly jokes yesterday, and today we are going for the downright dirty! For the easily offended, please remember, they’re just jokes and not meant to be taken seriously.
What’s green, sticky and smells of bacon?
Kermit the Frog’s fingers! |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said,
'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said,
'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
God replied,
'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said,
'God, I wish that I , and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
God replied:
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?" |
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"A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said,
'Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said,
'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
God replied,
'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said,
'God, I wish that I , and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
God replied:
"You want two lanes or four on that bridge?""
Belter  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heard my neighbour shagging for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall!...
Turns out her elderly mother had fallen over cracked her head and was knocking on the wall with her stick for help..... Feel a bit guilty about the wank now |
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