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Being asked about meets

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

This was a first for me. I had a guy message asking questions about a woman I'd verified. Obviously I ignored him - it's disrespectful and a bit creepy - and he followed up with a pushy chase.

Do people get many messages like this? Is it a thing that is done on here?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes, some people simply don't know what boundaries are

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By *annah HuntWoman  over a year ago

K

Yes.. Highly inappropriate imo.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ya it's a thing.

People will have different views on it.

Some women will justify it as a safeguarding thing.

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

I've never done it and never been asked but I have had people contact others to ask about me, some of whom are male and therefore had no reasonable excuse for asking. They are also daily forum posters.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I've never done it and never been asked but I have had people contact others to ask about me, some of whom are male and therefore had no reasonable excuse for asking. They are also daily forum posters. "

Where they asking random strangers or someone they had actually been chatting to?

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By *affa31Woman  over a year ago

Galway

I think it depends on what’s asked. If they’re asking if the person is who they say they are that’s one thing, if they’re asking for personal details, that’s a whole other ballgame.

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"I've never done it and never been asked but I have had people contact others to ask about me, some of whom are male and therefore had no reasonable excuse for asking. They are also daily forum posters.

Where they asking random strangers or someone they had actually been chatting to?"

A bit of both. In a couple of cases they were told to ask me directly if they wanted to know something but in one case they made a point of repeating word for word in a forum post something I had only ever said to one person on here.

The fact it was a completely made up piece of info didn't really matter because it proved something I already knew.

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By *s LollyWoman  over a year ago

The pub then supermacs ...

It happens quite a lot on here,ive had it quite recently which i thought it was creepy and weird to pm someone looking for information on someone you've spent the night with,intimate details to be persise

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

Usually when this subject comes up most people are quick to say it's unacceptable and the finger is pointed at newbies or unverified profiles.

In all my time here it's only ever been high profile, well verified fabbers that are asking the questions and more often than not they usually appear in these threads to say it shouldn't happen.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It happens quite a lot on here,ive had it quite recently which i thought it was creepy and weird to pm someone looking for information on someone you've spent the night with,intimate details to be persise "

I always think that's a bit odd, it's like veris I've met people and they totally different to veris. I prefer to make my own opinion, however if I have an ice feeling I may message and just ask politely is the person worth meeting even for a coffee

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Yes its happened to me on several occasions, I tell them to fuck off!!

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By *ani57Man  over a year ago

Carlow

What's he trying to do offer a job and employ yer one ?? That's ridiculous, highly out of order on his part if you ask me

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By *3nsesMan  over a year ago

Dublin

Fab logic will decitate that if it's a man asking the question it is weird and creepy, if it is a woman asking the question it is perfectly acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Fab logic will decitate that if it's a man asking the question it is weird and creepy, if it is a woman asking the question it is perfectly acceptable. "

I dont think so, if it was a female fab friend and she asked if he was a decent guy I'd answer, if she asked was he good in the sack I'd tell her that's up to her to find out lol

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

Networking is part of what this site is all about.

Networking without consent is a whole different argument.

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By *ome_wild_girlWoman  over a year ago

Antrim Town


"

I dont think so, if it was a female fab friend and she asked if he was a decent guy I'd answer, if she asked was he good in the sack I'd tell her that's up to her to find out lol "

this

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

A some people are just thick no matter what ya do or say to them

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By *ustBoWoman  over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"It happens quite a lot on here,ive had it quite recently which i thought it was creepy and weird to pm someone looking for information on someone you've spent the night with,intimate details to be persise

I always think that's a bit odd, it's like veris I've met people and they totally different to veris. I prefer to make my own opinion, however if I have an ice feeling I may message and just ask politely is the person worth meeting even for a coffee "

to be fair if I had an inkling that something wasn't right by chatting I just wouldn't meet them.I wouldn't rely on what others would tell me,mind you I wouldn't message someone who veried them to ask either though.I just think it's a bit creepy.

There's plenty who do it though and some are more than willing to give out the info as well.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

to be fair if I had an inkling that something wasn't right by chatting I just wouldn't meet them.I wouldn't rely on what others would tell me,mind you I wouldn't message someone who veried them to ask either though.I just think it's a bit creepy."

How we see it also

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By *lassy lady 216Woman  over a year ago

Craigavon

I have messaged people who I know have meet someone I have been talking too and agreeing to meet with just to make sure they are ok after all I'm a single woman on here on my own so my safety comes first as I had a bad experience only last week I had to get someone that I thought I could trust out of my house so if it makes me a bad person for simply wanting to protect myself they so be it but I will do it again in the future if I am unsure of someone

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town

Yes in the past have had people mailing me saying I met someone you know verified and that person advised me to meet you. Had thst happen more times.

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By *amiero29Man  over a year ago

Drogheda

That's such a weird thing to do. Super creepy

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By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast


"Yes in the past have had people mailing me saying I met someone you know verified and that person advised me to meet you. Had thst happen more times. "

I've chatted to quite a few women who have been recommended to guys by other women without asking their permission and when they ask the other women the reply is usually " I didn't think you would mind!".

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By *obshortMan  over a year ago

Cork

Yes it happens. I have been asked about ladies I have meet. Simply answer, read the verification. It tell everything you need to know..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes it happens. I have been asked about ladies I have meet. Simply answer, read the verification. It tell everything you need to know.. "
Everyone knows verifications are generally over positive as no one wants to hurt or admit to themselves that they had sex with someone they don’t find attractive

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By *adylaceWoman  over a year ago

Waterford City


"Fab logic will decitate that if it's a man asking the question it is weird and creepy, if it is a woman asking the question it is perfectly acceptable.

I dont think so, if it was a female fab friend and she asked if he was a decent guy I'd answer, if she asked was he good in the sack I'd tell her that's up to her to find out lol "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Yes it happens. I have been asked about ladies I have meet. Simply answer, read the verification. It tell everything you need to know.. Everyone knows verifications are generally over positive as no one wants to hurt or admit to themselves that they had sex with someone they don’t find attractive"

Speak for yourselves

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By *ed just RedWoman  over a year ago

Dublin City


"This was a first for me. I had a guy message asking questions about a woman I'd verified. Obviously I ignored him - it's disrespectful and a bit creepy - and he followed up with a pushy chase.

Do people get many messages like this? Is it a thing that is done on here?"

Yep. Frequently. I say “it’s all in the veri”.

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By *arkjackMan  over a year ago

West Cork


"Fab logic will decitate that if it's a man asking the question it is weird and creepy, if it is a woman asking the question it is perfectly acceptable. "

No, I had a similar experience where a woman was asking about the location of another couple I met, I updated them right away. If she didn't reach out directly there is a reason.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town


"Yes in the past have had people mailing me saying I met someone you know verified and that person advised me to meet you. Had thst happen more times.

I've chatted to quite a few women who have been recommended to guys by other women without asking their permission and when they ask the other women the reply is usually " I didn't think you would mind!"."

it happened to me alot, gives the lads impression you gonna meet

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By *1CorkCouple  over a year ago

Cork

It’s happened to us plenty. If the approach is from someone we haven’t met, we politely give the same endorsement already contained in our verification and reiterate that they are genuine - that’s as far as we will go. We may give a little additional enthusiastic comment on suitability to a friend (through meeting) only in the case of it being positive.

If we see that a couple we’re interested in on the site has met another couple we’ve played with previously, we have occasionally enquired with our friends if they think we’d be a good fit with the prospective couple. Don’t see anything wrong with this referral type system amongst friends. We’ve had some of our best meets ‘opened up’ to us due to people ‘vouching’ for us also.

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