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The Alternate Auction
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t deal with counting posts today so instead, post your best terrible jokes and the winner wins….
Me 
T&C apply "
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE! |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
I was watching a movie with my son last night when a sex scene came on.
"Alright son, it's about time you went to bed", I said.
"But Dad I'm 18", he protested.
"I don't care", I said. "You're not watching me having a wank |
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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago
somewhere |
A man goes to confession after a long absence.
He sits in the booth, looks around & says to the Priest, ''The confessional has really changed father. I don't remember Guinness on tap and gay porn mags in the booths."
The Priest said, "That's because you're in my fuckin seat!'' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A group of friars in Scotland were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop in town to raise funds. Since everyone in town felt obliged to buy flowers from the men of God, the other local florists thought the competition was unfair. One by one the rival florists visited the friars, and begged and pleaded with them to close up their shop, but the friars ignored each and every one of them. In desperation, the local florists decided to hired Hugh MacTaggart (the roughest and most vicious thug in town) to "persuade" the friars to close. Hugh promptly beat up the friars and trashed their store, threatening to return again if they didn't close up shop, which they immediately did. And the moral fo the story is...
...
...
...
Only Hugh can prevent florist friars |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many ears does Spock have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!
I need spock .. I'm like a agony aunt here .. "
Lou why don’t you join me and the A team, we’ll make a quiche...
I really love it when a flan comes together...
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors’’"
I laughed at this way more than was probably necessary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many ears does Spock have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!
I need spock .. I'm like a agony aunt here ..
Lou why don’t you join me and the A team, we’ll make a quiche...
I really love it when a flan comes together...
"
It's OK.. I'm doing OK on my own  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I seem to be stuck in the middle .. if you have a problem .. don't tell me.. please  "
Lou that’s a terrible joke, op I think we’ve found the winner here! A bit of girl on girl action perhaps. I’m feeling a strange stirring in my Lou’s, it’s like something I’ve never felt before.
Apologies I meant loins.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The greatest thing about Fab is that everyone is so accurate and honest about their appearance and abilities, absolutely no hassle mails or unwanted pics or messages sent or received.
That's my final one for now.
Any winners yet ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ll have to declare myself out when it comes to the prize. Though it is with great sadness. It appears I’ve broken the terms and conditions of the op’s previous threads and this one by posting back to back. Silly me, good luck to the rest of you. |
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