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Newbie/Soft Swing Meet-ups
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New to the site but been to a few get togethers and events. We’ve had to turn down a few approaches because we’re keen to move at our own pace and not create an expectation with other fabbers (nobody likes a tease!)
We know where we wanna get to and it’s one step at a time for us but explaining that in the DMs can be a bit of a vibe kill…Are there many people in the same place, are there meet ups for folks like us?  |
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In Cork, we have kink club social meetups that can really ease you into that scene. Most events I go to aren't as pushy about doing anything which is a great plus.
It's up to you to voice your concerns and make your rules/limits, anyone who doesn't understand them are probably a big red flag |
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We would insist on a social before any fun. We've attended loads of parties and not played for various reasons, but still had a great time and made connections for possible future meets. The thought of meeting strangers for fun based on a face pic is alien to us. We would never want to feel pressured to play in any scenario and neither should you.
You go at your own pace, just be clear in your bio what you are looking for and what your boundaries are.
Don't feel bad about ignoring winks or messages from people who don't fit what you are looking for, or who have clearly not read your bio.
Good luck  |
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By *oc09Man 32 weeks ago
near u |
No one who is on here for the right reasons is going to judge U for going at ye,s are own pace we were all like that at some stage it's all bout U and what U are ready for.for some people it moves fast cause there ready if ur not take ur time cause at the end of the day it's Ur relationship |
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"Soft swing is very rare tbh but we have no issues with it if we were attracted to you, certainly no issues meeting you for a drink sometime.
"
Pete and Gemma gave us great advice at the beginning of our journey. We'd advise you to take them up on their kind offer  |
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Hi guys!
We were on the scene 6 months before finally playing with someone else who we had met many times. Still haven’t braved a swap yet, it’s hard to meet people where all 4 have an attraction and that’s ok.
If you can, go to events and meet people there and build friendships first. It’s a fun world, enjoy but take it easy  |
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By *etergemmaCouple 32 weeks ago
South Dublin Area |
"Soft swing is very rare tbh but we have no issues with it if we were attracted to you, certainly no issues meeting you for a drink sometime.
Pete and Gemma gave us great advice at the beginning of our journey. We'd advise you to take them up on their kind offer "
Ahh thank you
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By *etergemmaCouple 32 weeks ago
South Dublin Area |
"Large events at home don’t really suit us for privacy reasons but trying to get to some smaller ones "
Why?
Are you a politician? Or a gaa player? Rte presenter?
What have you to fear that everyone else doesn't who goes to events.
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I would think OP possibly assumes/thinks ..like how we did as a couple in the early days of swinging …that we would go to this larger social night which is in a public space and that it would be soooooo obvious that the group of people over there are swingers…all mauling each …dressed very different to “regular humans” and all half naked LOL. I (Mrs) did think this!!!
It is 100% NOT like this OP.
Genuinely these nights are like a fun night out with your regular friends…if you did recognise someone while on the social night out who’s clearly not part of the group just have your excuse ready….it’s work night out or whatever
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"New to the site but been to a few get togethers and events. We’ve had to turn down a few approaches because we’re keen to move at our own pace and not create an expectation with other fabbers (nobody likes a tease!)
We know where we wanna get to and it’s one step at a time for us but explaining that in the DMs can be a bit of a vibe kill…Are there many people in the same place, are there meet ups for folks like us? "
Many (most?) couples will look for a social meet without funny business before a sex-date. Far from being a vibe kill, it's almost expected. Also NEVER worry about turning down offers. It's not rude. Take it as a compliment and move on.
It's also common for couples to begin as soft swing. Be up front about it so noone has any confusion.
Good luck! |
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By *eijaWoman 32 weeks ago
City Centre |
"I would think OP possibly assumes/thinks ..like how we did as a couple in the early days of swinging …that we would go to this larger social night which is in a public space and that it would be soooooo obvious that the group of people over there are swingers…all mauling each …dressed very different to “regular humans” and all half naked LOL. I (Mrs) did think this!!!
It is 100% NOT like this OP.
Genuinely these nights are like a fun night out with your regular friends…if you did recognise someone while on the social night out who’s clearly not part of the group just have your excuse ready….it’s work night out or whatever
"
Exactly this (sure I met ECD at their first party!!)....most new people to the scene think this. I've been on the scene many years and organised and attended many many social events.
It is just a night out in a regular bar with like minded people. Most organisers guise it as a 'going away party's or 'birthday party' there is no nakedness and the fact that everyone is on Fab is certainly not advertised. I in fact have hosted small events in bars I usually go to with Vanilla friends and have never had any problems. Socials are the a great way to introduce yourselves to others for future fun.
Lots of couples start out as soft swap you will find quickly that changes as your confidence grows. Everything at your own pace though...
Regarding meeting people you know....in many years I've been on the scene I've met two people...and we all laughed.....sure aren't we all doing the same thing....we still laugh about it to this day....it's our little secret!
Best of luck OP 
B x |
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By *etergemmaCouple 32 weeks ago
South Dublin Area |
"Thanks everyone for this, all very helpful. If there are any socials happening do let us know  "
Envy is on Saturday night in town. I am biased but you will not pick a better event to attend as new people on the scene.
Dv8 is on the 18th November as well, a great place to meet people also.
And if you cant make it, we will be in town the following Sunday 5th afternoon / evening if you fancy a chat. |
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By *etergemmaCouple 32 weeks ago
South Dublin Area |
"I would think OP possibly assumes/thinks ..like how we did as a couple in the early days of swinging …that we would go to this larger social night which is in a public space and that it would be soooooo obvious that the group of people over there are swingers…all mauling each …dressed very different to “regular humans” and all half naked LOL. I (Mrs) did think this!!!
It is 100% NOT like this OP.
Genuinely these nights are like a fun night out with your regular friends…if you did recognise someone while on the social night out who’s clearly not part of the group just have your excuse ready….it’s work night out or whatever
"
Party animal |
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