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Cats are wankers 🐈😙
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It’s an unspoken rule that if a dog or cat jumps on your lap your allowed to pet it but while staying over at a friends place one of their cats jumped in my lap got very scratchy when I started to pet it. She was having none of it.
As my late father would always say - dirty bastarding cats |
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My cat paw punches me in the face every morning to get up to feed her, while sitting on my chest. I love her to death but what I would give to just wake up naturally and unassaulted one of these days |
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By *astello OP Woman 17 weeks ago
Far far away |
"It’s an unspoken rule that if a dog or cat jumps on your lap your allowed to pet it but while staying over at a friends place one of their cats jumped in my lap got very scratchy when I started to pet it. She was having none of it.
As my late father would always say - dirty bastarding cats "
These two won't be recreating any kitten..that's for sure... |
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By *astello OP Woman 17 weeks ago
Far far away |
"My cat paw punches me in the face every morning to get up to feed her, while sitting on my chest. I love her to death but what I would give to just wake up naturally and unassaulted one of these days "
The affectionate get up n feed me human..😅🤛🤛🐈 |
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"It’s an unspoken rule that if a dog or cat jumps on your lap your allowed to pet it but while staying over at a friends place one of their cats jumped in my lap got very scratchy when I started to pet it. She was having none of it.
As my late father would always say - dirty bastarding cats "
Sounds familiar
I do love cats but some of them are very contrary 😬
The crying at windows to be let in, then going to a door to be let out 5 minutes later is another trick
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"It’s an unspoken rule that if a dog or cat jumps on your lap your allowed to pet it but while staying over at a friends place one of their cats jumped in my lap got very scratchy when I started to pet it. She was having none of it.
As my late father would always say - dirty bastarding cats
Sounds familiar
I do love cats but some of them are very contrary 😬
The crying at windows to be let in, then going to a door to be let out 5 minutes later is another trick
"
I’m scarred for life, more mentally than physically but still |
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"My cat paw punches me in the face every morning to get up to feed her, while sitting on my chest. I love her to death but what I would give to just wake up naturally and unassaulted one of these days "
Cats view us as a larger version of them.
They are very light sleepers and can’t understand why us humans sleep for 8 hours.
They poke or bite excessively in the mornings to see if u are alive.
Also if cats sleep next to you they want reassurance.
If they sleep next to your feet they are protecting you. |
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By *og-ManMan 17 weeks ago
somewhere |
At one stage my daughter decided to apply to help the local animal shelter foster kittens for two weeks
I objected but everyone overruled me saying they'd be no problem
I said everyone would ignore them and it would be up to me
But no they said I wouldn't even know they were in the house
Next day 5 kittens arrived
Within 2 hours they were in my room while I watched tv the climbed everywhere and all over me and everyone else ignored them
They never left my room for the two weeks
Hard work and delighted when they went back
Prefer dogs |
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I’m a total cat lady..
I’ve 4 in my house one part time that comes and visits.
You need to learn cat body language and give them respect and you won’t have any problems.
I meet cats every where I go. I’m a cat magnet. |
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By *astello OP Woman 17 weeks ago
Far far away |
"I’m a total cat lady..
I’ve 4 in my house one part time that comes and visits.
You need to learn cat body language and give them respect and you won’t have any problems.
I meet cats every where I go. I’m a cat magnet. "
Wanna be my cat whisperer.. |
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By *a1970Man 17 weeks ago
East cork |
Years ago I had to help a vet put a lot of cats to sleep. A disease had affected all of them. Crying all the time in pain. ... The cats were half wild and I was use to them. We used a fish to lure each on in to inject. This is a fact..... Out of about 15 cats the last one took off, he or she new something was wrong....i swore I'd never be a vet. |
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I was recently watching how to speak to cats on Tiktok and practised on the local stray cats ,it was hilarious and kind of worked I love cats but the other half won't let me have one since our last cat fecked off and I cried for months lol |
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"I’m a total cat lady..
I’ve 4 in my house one part time that comes and visits.
You need to learn cat body language and give them respect and you won’t have any problems.
I meet cats every where I go. I’m a cat magnet.
Wanna be my cat whisperer.. "
We have a Maine coon. That really should be the end of it (this will make sense to some!). Beautiful cat but she is absolutely insane!!
One of my many stories about her usually involves me having me to spend more money replacing things.
I purchased a large clock for the living room. I had it for while before opening it, maybe a month or so. Anyway I finally decided to hang the clock. The cat clearly didn't approve of my taste. She jumped up and the clock smashed. It had been up for 10 minutes. |
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"Years ago I had to help a vet put a lot of cats to sleep. A disease had affected all of them. Crying all the time in pain. ... The cats were half wild and I was use to them. We used a fish to lure each on in to inject. This is a fact..... Out of about 15 cats the last one took off, he or she new something was wrong....i swore I'd never be a vet. "
I've had to bring two cats to the vet to be put to sleep, and without question they both knew what was happening. |
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"Years ago I had to help a vet put a lot of cats to sleep. A disease had affected all of them. Crying all the time in pain. ... The cats were half wild and I was use to them. We used a fish to lure each on in to inject. This is a fact..... Out of about 15 cats the last one took off, he or she new something was wrong....i swore I'd never be a vet.
I've had to bring two cats to the vet to be put to sleep, and without question they both knew what was happening."
Heartbreaking xx |
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"I’m a total cat lady..
I’ve 4 in my house one part time that comes and visits.
You need to learn cat body language and give them respect and you won’t have any problems.
I meet cats every where I go. I’m a cat magnet. "
I currently have 8 of the wee buggers...but also they're awesome. Says the woman who has just asked one of them if she'll move over on the sofa so she can sit down  |
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"And if you die alone yer cats will eat ye 
Dogs for life ❤️ "
Only one of mine will eat me - the other won't start until there's someone standing beside him. And then he'll probably vomit on the kitchen floor. Lovely. |
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We have 3 cats around, one of them a "one braincell" tabby we adopted. He got hit by cars twice with the previous owners, second time the vet wanted to put him down. He pulled through, scarred but overall fine. His favourite past time is sitting in front or behind cars that are driving in the drive way. You need to stop, get out, pick him up and put him to the side because he will not move. 🙄 |
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By (user no longer on site) 17 weeks ago
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I've 3 cats...I'm definately fulfilling my destiny of being crazy old cat lady slightly early
But deffo if I die alone (who am.i kidding it's when) my beloveds will eat me |
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Had a sick child in the house got him a kitten (house trained) to cheer him up. He loved her, he was on the couch rapped in his duvet with the kitten ontop of him she turned round and shat on the poor little bollix as if being sick wasn't bad enough.... |
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By *astello OP Woman 17 weeks ago
Far far away |
"Had a sick child in the house got him a kitten (house trained) to cheer him up. He loved her, he was on the couch rapped in his duvet with the kitten ontop of him she turned round and shat on the poor little bollix as if being sick wasn't bad enough...."
Omg..the poor child..yes cats are wankers 😏 |
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Cats are wankers! And that came from the OP who is a cat lover! How the fuck is someone like me,who hates cats,ever going to like them?? Dogs are our best friends for a reason...they're not wankers!! As my father used to say " how can you trust a cat that sits there licking it's balls while it's looking at you?" |
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Dogs all my life,
My dog "lucky" is getting me through my cancer diagnosis each day since March last year and I wouldn't be typing this now if not for him such is the love and affection he shows me each and everyday.
We do everything together, trips, holidays, shops...just seeing lucky smiling and the excitement of train trips around the country melts my heart.
We don't deserve animals dogs,cats, whatever and to see them being abandoned and mistreated is not only soul destroying its downright the definition of "evil"
Bazz 
Hawk tuahing cancer since March '24. |
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"We used to have a gorgeous Mein Coon, and she hated everyone in the house except me and my mam. I loved her so much I got a tattoo in her memory. She’s loved an auld dance. "
Awwww this is so sweet and I love the quote!!
The Maine coon I mentioned, belongs to my child - a birthday gift from me. They are like siblings!!
Cats are great at teaching consent!! I don't find them to be selfish creatures. I think dogs are great but for those who some how think they are better than cats?! Cats don't eat their own poop or vomit!! And it's great that they clean themselves so often!!  |
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"Two new kittens arrived pre Christmas.
I should have done a sanity check before hand.
Give me your best/worst pussy stories.
I do adore them...btw..
"
I got a beautiful kitten. I didn't get her in time for neutering. Four new kittens later I became a cat mom. I loved having tiny kittens in the house. Broke my heart to re-home them.
Thought sure I've plenty of time for neutering.
Second lot of four kittens. Had them playing with the Christmas tree before they went to their new homes.
I loved being Cat Mom but I did get my cat 'done' after that.
But I did briefly consider getting more cats and going into breeding. It was such a joy and so many snuggles. |
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My daughter trained her cat to use the toilet in the bathroom negating the use of a litter tray in a 10th floor apartment in London. Inner circle to train it with litter around the edge in a groove. It worked so well until she got a kitten who used a litter tray. Older cat reverted to tray as well but she hopes to re train them again.
I love cats. Had to put two down when they were nearly 20 years old - heartbreaking. None at the moment but soon again….. |
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Aw I have two and my ginger cat named Cod
(Star Wars fans will get that).
He just shouts at me as I walk out in the morning making sure I don’t forget his breakfast and has my housemates wrapped around his finger one of them feeds him on a spoon 🤣🤣 most independent but lovable pets I have |
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When a cat is sitting at the door looking for you to open it, but won't go out when you do open the door, it's their way of asking you to get to **CK out of their house
Cat's are the best entertainment on 4 legs |
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"
Cats are great at teaching consent!! I don't find them to be selfish creatures. I think dogs are great but for those who some how think they are better than cats?! Cats don't eat their own poop or vomit!! And it's great that they clean themselves so often!! "
I’ll never understand for a cat who hated to be bathed could be so soft, she was an absolute dear, and a grumpy lady hahah. Never seen anything like her. We have a new little fellah at home who’s the biggest little bollox you’ll ever see. |
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By *SydneyMan 16 weeks ago
Dublin/London |
Got a nice big Christmas tree this year. Lit the fire and loaded it up with all the decorations and lights. Took an absolute age. Nice glass of whiskey to lubricate the job.
Cat stalks into the room, a malicious glint in his feline eyes. Proceeds to do a nice deep downward facing dog stretch. Ironic given his species. Begins to stride around the room, eyeing up his best approach here.
Proceeds to leap into the very middle of the tree, dragging it to the ground. Shatters both whiskey glass and bottle. Destroys decorations. Jobs a good un.
Cat ambles out of the room. Job done. A smug look now in his eye |
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"Got a nice big Christmas tree this year. Lit the fire and loaded it up with all the decorations and lights. Took an absolute age. Nice glass of whiskey to lubricate the job.
Cat stalks into the room, a malicious glint in his feline eyes. Proceeds to do a nice deep downward facing dog stretch. Ironic given his species. Begins to stride around the room, eyeing up his best approach here.
Proceeds to leap into the very middle of the tree, dragging it to the ground. Shatters both whiskey glass and bottle. Destroys decorations. Jobs a good un.
Cat ambles out of the room. Job done. A smug look now in his eye"
Omg I just love cats and Christmas trees I had a real giggle reading that lol |
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By *SydneyMan 16 weeks ago
Dublin/London |
"Got a nice big Christmas tree this year. Lit the fire and loaded it up with all the decorations and lights. Took an absolute age. Nice glass of whiskey to lubricate the job.
Cat stalks into the room, a malicious glint in his feline eyes. Proceeds to do a nice deep downward facing dog stretch. Ironic given his species. Begins to stride around the room, eyeing up his best approach here.
Proceeds to leap into the very middle of the tree, dragging it to the ground. Shatters both whiskey glass and bottle. Destroys decorations. Jobs a good un.
Cat ambles out of the room. Job done. A smug look now in his eye
Omg I just love cats and Christmas trees I had a real giggle reading that lol"
Glad it gave you a laugh 😊
To be fair I laughed at the time as well. Sure what else could you do. An hour later when I was still scrubbing whiskey out of the carpet I was laughing a lot less
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