I have some quick thoughts on Fab I don’t see aired much. For what it’s worth.
Verifications are like airbnb reviews. You don’t generally leave bad ones or even ones that suggest dissatisfaction. There is little if anything to gain. Better to send each on their way cheerily. The worst it gets is flat toned confirmation that the person is real… those are the ones to avoid.
There are profiles on here that look as though the individuals are having the time of their lives. The thing is they will be experiencing the same insecurities and deep frustrations as anyone, if not more. All is not often as it seems. Remembering this is helpful.
Women obviously have a different experience to men. The ratio of male to female means they are able to be far more selective. This amplifies status and sense of status and can lead to poor behaviour.
There are an elite group of men who can do the same but this is rare and hard earned.
Female bisexuality seems to emerge in the scene. There is a flexibility to what can turn women on in a way that doesn’t seem to be the case for men.
Humour is such an incredible attractor on here. It’s a very important skill that men should work on.
Also. Social competence gets you very far. Be at ease in yourself and good things follow on. This is a space for friendship. And so many miss that.
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I'll disagree with a few points.
Everyone can be equally selective but some choose not to be.
I've always been selective, even before I met anyone through fab.
I'm certainly not part of any elite group and being able to choose who I want to have sex with hasn't been difficult or hard earned at all.
As far as women's sexuality is concerned, there are quite a few people who believe that all women are bisexual or at least bicurious and struggle to understand that many are not and have no wish to be flexible.
Ratios mean absolutely nothing on here unless you make them an issue yourself or use them as an excuse for failure.
Not every woman wants to be placed on a pedestal and poor behaviour isn't the result of being hoisted up there. It's ingrained.
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I suspect if you were to actually meet this group of elite men you would be surprised at how normal looking these people are. They aren't the ones with the 6 packs and massive cocks. They are normal men who are safe, reliable, decent, and good communicators. It's really not unattainable for most men. |
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Verifications are only ever good as you've noticed, and useful enough to see the people who do follow through on meets (as many flake) who is getting stuck into the social scene (which is a green flag) and a basic vetting that its not a scam account. I wouldn't change them but it's not a perfect system.
The profiles who look like they are having the time of their lives, well it's like any social media, people post the positive only. Some people are really good at their social media presence.
I think people of all genders have poor behaviour sometimes.
I feel female sexuality is expected regardless of whether they actually want that or not. There's a double standard about the acceptance/expectation of female bisexuality and male bisexuality which is often shunned and shamed. We are a queer couple and both Bi. It's actually tricky for us and have faced negative messages and horrible comments about him being 'disease ridden' which is hilarious because we test often and are very safe and the guys who have said that were likely married and don't test for STis at all.
Humour and respect are all that's needed. Keep away from the hypersexuality and objectification of women's bodies and treat them like humans. Generally women are defensive from the start and there's good reason for this on this platform. Go in with the idea of making sex positive friends and anything else is icing on top of the cake.
Vics
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