FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Really want to go to a social but I'm ugly
Really want to go to a social but I'm ugly
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By *INTMan 21 weeks ago
Minutes from Somewhere Else |
Bite the bullet and go. You're almost certainly not as ugly as you might think. Besides, people are attracted to more than just looks - confidence, intellect, sense of humour, compassion - none of these have anything to do with what you look like.
Low self-esteem is, however, off-putting. Learn to love yourself, dude. Visit a therapist to talk over why it is that you think you're ugly. Learn to accept the good and unique and valuable personal that you truly are. Looks fade. Personality is forever.
So take the plunge. Go to a social. Go to more than one. Work on you.
To quote Gretzky - "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Bite the bullet and go. You're almost certainly not as ugly as you might think. Besides, people are attracted to more than just looks - confidence, intellect, sense of humour, compassion - none of these have anything to do with what you look like. Thanks man
Low self-esteem is, however, off-putting. Learn to love yourself, dude. Visit a therapist to talk over why it is that you think you're ugly. Learn to accept the good and unique and valuable personal that you truly are. Looks fade. Personality is forever.
So take the plunge. Go to a social. Go to more than one. Work on you.
To quote Gretzky - "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". "
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Ye must think everyone here is on the model scale so . Most are average people just making the most of what they got . Learn to love who you are ! "
Thanks I will try  |
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"I would love to go to a social party but I'm a ugly guy and I think the people and the app are way out of my league."
It's not about the beauty or level of attractiveness. If you are confident in yourself thats all you need. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"I would love to go to a social party but I'm a ugly guy and I think the people and the app are way out of my league.
It's not about the beauty or level of attractiveness. If you are confident in yourself thats all you need."
Thanks yeah I think I need to work on my confidence |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Bite the bullet and go. You're almost certainly not as ugly as you might think. Besides, people are attracted to more than just looks - confidence, intellect, sense of humour, compassion - none of these have anything to do with what you look like.
Low self-esteem is, however, off-putting. Learn to love yourself, dude. Visit a therapist to talk over why it is that you think you're ugly. Learn to accept the good and unique and valuable personal that you truly are. Looks fade. Personality is forever.
So take the plunge. Go to a social. Go to more than one. Work on you.
To quote Gretzky - "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". "
Thanks man I'm taking this all in and what a great quote |
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Trust me everyone has doubts at time's OP. There is no doubt going to a social as a guy on your own is nerve wracking but once you do, you'll quickly realise that most of the people there are very average.
There are a few socials ran for new members too so perhaps that might suit you?
Larger social nights aren't for everyone either so do what you feel comfortable with but never feel that you aren't good looking enough to be on here,
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Trust me everyone has doubts at time's OP. There is no doubt going to a social as a guy on your own is nerve wracking but once you do, you'll quickly realise that most of the people there are very average.
There are a few socials ran for new members too so perhaps that might suit you?
Larger social nights aren't for everyone either so do what you feel comfortable with but never feel that you aren't good looking enough to be on here,
"
Aw thanks yeah very scary going on my own just thinking I will be kicked out |
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"Why would you think you'd be kicked out???
Because when they see me "
To be honest I really don't see you getting very far on here if that's how you truly feel.
No one wants to have to coax someone to meet them or assure a stranger they are not ugly, they can just move on to the next person.
You've already had a meet which is great, maybe build a few more 1-2-1 meets up and that might help with your confidence?
I really hope you feel differently soon and can see yourself as more.
Good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Why would you think you'd be kicked out???
Because when they see me
To be honest I really don't see you getting very far on here if that's how you truly feel.
No one wants to have to coax someone to meet them or assure a stranger they are not ugly, they can just move on to the next person.
You've already had a meet which is great, maybe build a few more 1-2-1 meets up and that might help with your confidence?
I really hope you feel differently soon and can see yourself as more.
Good luck OP"
Yeah sorry I just worry myself to much it is all in my head. Did meet a few people and it has helped. I will try to be more confident  |
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"I would love to go to a social party but I'm a ugly guy and I think the people and the app are way out of my league."
Why would you think that? You've no way of knowing how attractive anyone on here is and I can say for definite that it's not about what the person looks like.
Also look at the socials as an opportunity to make a few friends and meet people. Even just talk to one or two. Small goals and it will gradually get easier. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"I would love to go to a social party but I'm a ugly guy and I think the people and the app are way out of my league.
Why would you think that? You've no way of knowing how attractive anyone on here is and I can say for definite that it's not about what the person looks like.
Also look at the socials as an opportunity to make a few friends and meet people. Even just talk to one or two. Small goals and it will gradually get easier. "
Aw thanks will try that |
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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I've met people both men and women that others have raved about and when I've met them , I've thought someone needs to go to spectators and I'm sure people have thought the same about me.
But I have learnt a pretty face doesn't always mean the person is pretty!
But the bullet and attend, it's a great way to meet people and make connections.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I've met people both men and women that others have raved about and when I've met them , I've thought someone needs to go to spectators and I'm sure people have thought the same about me.
But I have learnt a pretty face doesn't always mean the person is pretty!
But the bullet and attend, it's a great way to meet people and make connections.
"
Specsavers brilliant Love your humour.Thanks I will. |
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By *om TangoMan 21 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
Here lad get yourself to a social. Jaysus you should see the cut of me with my big red face. I can glow in the dark at times. Doesn’t stop me from stunting my stuff around the place. All judgement should be left at home. If you can talk the talk then walk the walk. Socials arent full of the best looking people on earth. It’s full of all kinds of people. Personally I always look for the beauty within a person. So please. Gather yourself up and head to a few. Before my very first social I’d no confidence, low self esteem, loads of other stuff going on in my head at the time but jaysus walking out of that social I felt great. On here the confidence will be knocked clean out of you but not at a social |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Here lad get yourself to a social. Jaysus you should see the cut of me with my big red face. I can glow in the dark at times. Doesn’t stop me from stunting my stuff around the place. All judgement should be left at home. If you can talk the talk then walk the walk. Socials arent full of the best looking people on earth. It’s full of all kinds of people. Personally I always look for the beauty within a person. So please. Gather yourself up and head to a few. Before my very first social I’d no confidence, low self esteem, loads of other stuff going on in my head at the time but jaysus walking out of that social I felt great. On here the confidence will be knocked clean out of you but not at a social "
Cool man great advice I will |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Do you have the same issue when you go to a pub or for food.doubt it,think your doing a bit of smypathy hunting."
I do actually and just seeing has other people have the same feeling. |
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By *om TangoMan 21 weeks ago
aughnacloy monaghan area |
"Here lad get yourself to a social. Jaysus you should see the cut of me with my big red face. I can glow in the dark at times. Doesn’t stop me from stunting my stuff around the place. All judgement should be left at home. If you can talk the talk then walk the walk. Socials arent full of the best looking people on earth. It’s full of all kinds of people. Personally I always look for the beauty within a person. So please. Gather yourself up and head to a few. Before my very first social I’d no confidence, low self esteem, loads of other stuff going on in my head at the time but jaysus walking out of that social I felt great. On here the confidence will be knocked clean out of you but not at a social
Cool man great advice I will "
If you find yourself going to same social as me make sure to find me and I’ll introduce you to non judgement great people |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Here lad get yourself to a social. Jaysus you should see the cut of me with my big red face. I can glow in the dark at times. Doesn’t stop me from stunting my stuff around the place. All judgement should be left at home. If you can talk the talk then walk the walk. Socials arent full of the best looking people on earth. It’s full of all kinds of people. Personally I always look for the beauty within a person. So please. Gather yourself up and head to a few. Before my very first social I’d no confidence, low self esteem, loads of other stuff going on in my head at the time but jaysus walking out of that social I felt great. On here the confidence will be knocked clean out of you but not at a social
Cool man great advice I will
If you find yourself going to same social as me make sure to find me and I’ll introduce you to non judgement great people "
Thanks mate I definitely will be looking out for you thanks again for the kind words |
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Most guys don't go to social events.
Most guys don't realise that if they turn up to social events alone they automatically get cudos because people really do know how hard it is.
It is hard. Bite the bullet and people will notice that and they'll be nice to you because honestly most people at social events are nice.
Don't worry about sex. That's for later. Go for an hour and ask the host to introduce you to a few people.
Best of luck |
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"Most guys don't go to social events.
Most guys don't realise that if they turn up to social events alone they automatically get cudos because people really do know how hard it is.
It is hard. Bite the bullet and people will notice that and they'll be nice to you because honestly most people at social events are nice.
"
This is great advice. The first one is definitely the hardest. I drove 2 hours to my first and nearly didn't go.
Text the host when I arrived at the venue, he brought me in and introduced me to few people and had an absolutely fantastic night. Majority of people there were friendly and welcoming.
Some left early because I think they were expecting to only chat to women and hook up before the night ended. They were sadly mistaken. |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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I get the anxiety of it buddy, but honestly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure your a handsome guy, you just need to get it into your head that you are. So literally everyday, every hour tell yourself, "actually I'm not ugly, I'm a handsome guy". Repeat it enough and you will believe it. I lack in confidence also but I just act like I'm confident and people around me seem to think I am. Manifesting does work. You need to be happy and love yourself and that is and that confidence is what people will like. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"I get the anxiety of it buddy, but honestly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure your a handsome guy, you just need to get it into your head that you are. So literally everyday, every hour tell yourself, "actually I'm not ugly, I'm a handsome guy". Repeat it enough and you will believe it. I lack in confidence also but I just act like I'm confident and people around me seem to think I am. Manifesting does work. You need to be happy and love yourself and that is and that confidence is what people will like."
Thanks mate I will |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Most guys don't go to social events.
Most guys don't realise that if they turn up to social events alone they automatically get cudos because people really do know how hard it is.
It is hard. Bite the bullet and people will notice that and they'll be nice to you because honestly most people at social events are nice.
Don't worry about sex. That's for later. Go for an hour and ask the host to introduce you to a few people.
Best of luck"
Thanks for the brilliant advice |
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Look shur I'll be honest , before our first meet/social i ( mr) always found a problem with what I saw in the mirror .... shaved head from a balding middle so i got rid of it all , not the tallest guy at 5'7 , not a big muscly guy but in relative good shape , ears too big for my head lol , ... after a few meets and socials and playing with ladies who I thought were out of my league i realised what I saw in the mirror was not what others saw in me , big confidence boost , there were times when things were said about me to others and it got back to me and confidence took a knock again but you have to take the good with the bad on here and ignore the haters , there will be those who think they are above all on here and those who actually are grounded and modest, what you may think as ugly others will go crazy for !
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"always found a problem with what I saw in the mirror .... shaved head from a balding middle so i got rid of it all , not the tallest guy at 5'7 , not a big muscly guy but in relative good shape , ears too big for my head lol , ...
"
You describe yourself hilariously. Got a good chuckle from that 
You're 100% right tho, confidence is key.  |
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"always found a problem with what I saw in the mirror .... shaved head from a balding middle so i got rid of it all , not the tallest guy at 5'7 , not a big muscly guy but in relative good shape , ears too big for my head lol , ...
You describe yourself hilariously. Got a good chuckle from that
You're 100% right tho, confidence is key. "
self deprication and a good sense of humour is needed on here lol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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"Look shur I'll be honest , before our first meet/social i ( mr) always found a problem with what I saw in the mirror .... shaved head from a balding middle so i got rid of it all , not the tallest guy at 5'7 , not a big muscly guy but in relative good shape , ears too big for my head lol , ... after a few meets and socials and playing with ladies who I thought were out of my league i realised what I saw in the mirror was not what others saw in me , big confidence boost , there were times when things were said about me to others and it got back to me and confidence took a knock again but you have to take the good with the bad on here and ignore the haters , there will be those who think they are above all on here and those who actually are grounded and modest, what you may think as ugly others will go crazy for !
"
Thanks Mr |
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By *affa31Woman 21 weeks ago
Galway |
There will be people in the room who don’t think you’re attractive. There will be people in the room that you don’t think are attractive.
Just like in the real world.
The key is to stop caring what other people think of your appearance. It’s the least interesting thing about you. |
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The fact that you wrote this post suggests you have some courage and modesty, two attractive traits. Add to that a bit of confidence and you can absolutely get yourself to a social!
The replies show you that many fabbers are supportive, inclusive and kind so that should hopefully help your confidence.
The majority of events are not biased towards the 'beautiful' (though being honest I think some are) the main thing is to have good vibes, make an effort and be respectful 😁🌈 |
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By (user no longer on site) 21 weeks ago
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If there's one word I despise, it's the word ugly. Find it very triggering. A little upsetting to read you or anyone describing themselves as ugly.
Beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder.
Get out and get yourself to a social. Decent modest respectful men are a welcome commodity here. |
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"Bring a couple of brown bags and you'll be grand Yeah Bog that’s a real intellectual reply. You should be on the stage you’re so funny. I hope you apologised in price to OP !!"
In Private I meant. |
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"Bite the bullet and go. You're almost certainly not as ugly as you might think. Besides, people are attracted to more than just looks - confidence, intellect, sense of humour, compassion - none of these have anything to do with what you look like.
Low self-esteem is, however, off-putting. Learn to love yourself, dude. Visit a therapist to talk over why it is that you think you're ugly. Learn to accept the good and unique and valuable personal that you truly are. Looks fade. Personality is forever.
So take the plunge. Go to a social. Go to more than one. Work on you.
To quote Gretzky - "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". "
Great advice |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 21 weeks ago
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Just want to thank everyone again for their kind words and advice really appreciated it and sorry I didn't get to reply to each individual you are a lovely bunch of people |
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