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By (user no longer on site) OP 51 weeks ago
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On here & in everyday life. When a guy is too eager, its a turn off.
Thinking specifically of opening & reading phone messages. Happened me yest. Guy I know through a group I attend was looking for documentation.
Thats fine, sent him the docs. Cue him thinking this an 'in' & starts sending me a load of messages. I send 1 back, very short. He reads & replies straightaway. I'm doing sth else so I dont reply as quick. This continues. Its obvious (to me anyway) I'm either not free to engage with him or I dont want to. Not the 1st time he has done this.
I'm here to support people but I wish guys would get the hint I'm not interested. Another man from this group has DM'ed me & I dont really like it. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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You’re not on call, and definitely not obligated to reply just because someone keeps messaging. Some people just need a gentle reminder that silence is an answer too. Do what feels right for you, and don’t feel bad about it. |
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"On here & in everyday life. When a guy is too eager, its a turn off.
Thinking specifically of opening & reading phone messages. Happened me yest. Guy I know through a group I attend was looking for documentation.
Thats fine, sent him the docs. Cue him thinking this an 'in' & starts sending me a load of messages. I send 1 back, very short. He reads & replies straightaway. I'm doing sth else so I dont reply as quick. This continues. Its obvious (to me anyway) I'm either not free to engage with him or I dont want to. Not the 1st time he has done this.
I'm here to support people but I wish guys would get the hint I'm not interested. Another man from this group has DM'ed me & I dont really like it. "
The ratio of men to women here is unbelieveable...if a man is lucky enough to get a reply he jumps on it..you can't blame them for their false hopes...people would say mass to get a meet on here |
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"
The ratio of men to women here is unbelieveable...if a man is lucky enough to get a reply he jumps on it..you can't blame them for their false hopes...people would say mass to get a meet on here"
Hence why so many people say, no reply is a reply.
But you'll still have lads on regularly saying it's rude, and how hard is it to just give a response etc. etc. |
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By *rRiosMan 51 weeks ago
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You need to establish clear and firm boundaries and restate them when challenged. Easier said than done obviously. “Hey, I am more than happy to help for these related matters specifically but I am not always available to respond as I have my own life to prioritize. I hope you can understand this”
If this is met with aggravation, block and name and shame in group of needs must.
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If they've overstepped the line you should tell them.
A lot of men forget that every woman is different but they've met or heard of some woman somewhere who likes private messages or likes pushy men so they come to the conclusion that all women like those things, and given that they are so incredible themselves, obviously all women are going to want them to push a bit.
Men are simple creatures for the most part.
Then there are the aforementioned cunts. They should just be either blocked, ignored or both.
Life is a bit of a maze at times. |
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By (user no longer on site) 51 weeks ago
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Just block him, delete the messages and forget about it. I’m a zero chance blocker- don’t like what you say in the forums- block, send me two messages in a row with me replying to the first- block, send a “hi” / “hello” message- block, profile pic includes a female- block etc etc. Like I teach my two young children- don’t be polite to men to keep them
Happy if something is off. |
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"On here & in everyday life. When a guy is too eager, its a turn off.
Thinking specifically of opening & reading phone messages. Happened me yest. Guy I know through a group I attend was looking for documentation.
Thats fine, sent him the docs. Cue him thinking this an 'in' & starts sending me a load of messages. I send 1 back, very short. He reads & replies straightaway. I'm doing sth else so I dont reply as quick. This continues. Its obvious (to me anyway) I'm either not free to engage with him or I dont want to. Not the 1st time he has done this.
I'm here to support people but I wish guys would get the hint I'm not interested. Another man from this group has DM'ed me & I dont really like it. "
The basic premise I hold with is if they don't reply after reading or delete straight away then it's a no. And no harm, no foul.
They've stated quite clearly what their choice is.
It's up to me not to be a d*ck about it and respect their choice. |
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I don't think I've ever really been in a situation like that. I'd like to think I'd just reply with a "no, thank you" but after a while I'd probably get tired of being nice. I would say block him then. |
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