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By *om365483 OP Man 9 weeks ago
Dungannon/Belfast/Donegal |
How’s fabswingers working out for you? Don’t be on here enough myself for this to actually work out. Mostly just on here at weekends. Haven’t been putting the effort in. Would love to hear if being on fab is something that’s worth continuing on with!!!  |
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By *andsumDadMan 9 weeks ago
D9, Tallaght, West Wicklow |
"How’s fabswingers working out for you? Don’t be on here enough myself for this to actually work out. Mostly just on here at weekends. Haven’t been putting the effort in. Would love to hear if being on fab is something that’s worth continuing on with!!! "
I’ve been in here about a month, and I’ve met at least one person each week. It depends on what you’re looking for but if you’re a single heterosexual man, you’ll have less opportunities and longer for those you’re messaging to see and reply. It’s a bit tedious and can be frustrating because the ratio of women to men is completely out of sync. Just go and look and men online (300+) and women (never more than 80 online) and that’s the issue. But saying all that, it’s still a great place to meet people, you just need to be patient and have a thick skin!
In my opinion, there are some very entitled people who equate attention and a high amount of messages in their fab inbox with their level of attractiveness. Some of these people can be very mean about your appearance, and dismissive about your messages. I would delete and ignore this cohort of fabbers, take it on the chin and move on, you’ll find the good folk if you keep looking. The usual advice from seasoned fabbers is to make your profile bio honest and genuine, have some decent recent photos and don’t message people one liners. I would add that if someone reads and doesn’t reply, delete your message and move on. I don’t think I’ll stay longer than my subscription because it’s a bit too mentally consuming and takes up way too much time, but I am happy I joined. |
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"Not worth it. Delete your profile 
Hmmm… sounds like someone trying to clear the field and get rid of the competition. "
Don't be ridiculous
Adidas are giving free football boots on the way out allegedly |
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Have been on fab for many years, I enjoy the forums. After that I don't expect too much from it due to my age. Have had great times and met great people. Everyone has different ideas on what they expect from fab. |
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We feel that it takes time patience and putting in the work to find the genuine people on here. Some we may have missed and some we have met and we would hope to develop those encounters we have had and keep away from those who are being less than honest with themselves and others |
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You've been on before though OP and came back again so I'm assuming you thought it was worth another go?
I've met 3 people in two years (for more than a social). Some might say that's not worth the effort but for me, each of those three people enriched my life in some way and I've had experiences and made memories with them that have made it very much worth it.
And on the social side, I've met some great people and made good friends that I enjoy spending time with so it's thumbs up from me. |
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I've not had one meet other than socials, so I find it frustrating. I've have sent messages stay yellow for weeks. I've sent messages to people "looking to meet now" that were never opened. I've had messages deleted when my profile was never looked at by them. So, frustrating is actually an understatement. |
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By *indenMan 9 weeks ago
Naas which is South West of Dublin |
"I've not had one meet other than socials, so I find it frustrating. I've have sent messages stay yellow for weeks. I've sent messages to people "looking to meet now" that were never opened. I've had messages deleted when my profile was never looked at by them. So, frustrating is actually an understatement. "
How do you know they didn’t look at your profile? |
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My experience is the social events, have met great people had great nights, laughs and chats. Highly recommend anyone heading to them. Great way to meet people for real rather than shooting blond messages all day. Have only ever done two coffee meets off here, my first from help a fabber out, and a lovely women part of a couple, who I still chat with on snap, but have never got a chance to meet again with schedules. Other than that fab has been a no go hahaha, have never done a play meet off here, bar one couple who join and leave the whole time, but I know them personally. Have contemplated the play events but not sure yet, more a watcher for now. And most play events require you to be a regular their socials, which I can't with work commitments.
Done mean any of this negativity, but what I will say is go to the socials. Of that's all I do here then so be it. Have had great nights and chats and happy to keep doing that. But yeah, here, dating apps, the lot, can be a real self esteem killer. It's hard not to let it get to you. Meet the people at socials and go from there naturally. A lot better. |
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By *og-ManMan 9 weeks ago
somewhere |
"I've not had one meet other than socials, so I find it frustrating. I've have sent messages stay yellow for weeks. I've sent messages to people "looking to meet now" that were never opened. I've had messages deleted when my profile was never looked at by them. So, frustrating is actually an understatement. "
Once you send a message delete it
Then you're never wondering forever if they read it |
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By *INTMan 9 weeks ago
Minutes from Somewhere Else |
Mixed results.
From a purely social point of view, it's good for meeting new people. That said, there's a subtext to the group dynamics that I find difficult (and pointless) to navigate.
For sex - terrible. I have much better success in the vanilla world. Significantly so. This tells me that I'm probably not a bad looking guy, a good conversationalist (and wicked flirt) with qualities that, seemingly, are not valued here.
Still, I do like being part of a sex-positive community even though - for me - there's very little sex in it. I'm sure the right woman is out there. We may even find each other. |
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By *ronmeltMan 9 weeks ago
Dun Laoghaire |
I joined fab last year around August and so far it's been a ghost town, no one replied to my DMs abd when they do they go "um your the same age as my son" or whatever fake excuse they throw at me, right now I'm on here everyday and joined fetlife too |
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We just like to post photos and peek in the forum for entertaining discussions so for us fab is just grand.
We've used it to organise our own private party and we've been to a social and both of those were great too. |
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"I've not had one meet other than socials, so I find it frustrating. I've have sent messages stay yellow for weeks. I've sent messages to people "looking to meet now" that were never opened. I've had messages deleted when my profile was never looked at by them. So, frustrating is actually an understatement.
How do you know they didn’t look at your profile?"
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"I've not had one meet other than socials, so I find it frustrating. I've have sent messages stay yellow for weeks. I've sent messages to people "looking to meet now" that were never opened. I've had messages deleted when my profile was never looked at by them. So, frustrating is actually an understatement.
Once you send a message delete it
Then you're never wondering forever if they read it "
I like the way you think, Big. |
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"Mixed results.
From a purely social point of view, it's good for meeting new people. That said, there's a subtext to the group dynamics that I find difficult (and pointless) to navigate.
For sex - terrible. I have much better success in the vanilla world. Significantly so. This tells me that I'm probably not a bad looking guy, a good conversationalist (and wicked flirt) with qualities that, seemingly, are not valued here.
Still, I do like being part of a sex-positive community even though - for me - there's very little sex in it. I'm sure the right woman is out there. We may even find each other. "
This. Bar not much luck on the dating scene for me either hahaha. But like you, I have played with two separate couples not off fab. Just vanilla world moments with two couples I know. Social wise, fab is great, sex wise, the real world and not a sex site hahaha. |
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"There is a section titled "who look at my profile"."
Most women are on ninja mode so it won’t show you that they’ve looked at your profile. The vast majority will look at your profile before deciding to reply to a message |
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"There is a section titled "who look at my profile".
Most women are on ninja mode so it won’t show you that they’ve looked at your profile. The vast majority will look at your profile before deciding to reply to a message "
Ninja Mode?? That's new to me. |
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"I've not had one meet other than socials, so I find it frustrating. I've have sent messages stay yellow for weeks. I've sent messages to people "looking to meet now" that were never opened. I've had messages deleted when my profile was never looked at by them. So, frustrating is actually an understatement. "
It's worth remembering that just because someone is looking to "meet now" it doesn't necessarily mean they'll meet anyone. And that perhaps a reason your message wasn't opened might be because they'd already found who they were looking for - at which point I'd assume Fabmin will be low down on their to-do list |
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By *og-ManMan 9 weeks ago
somewhere |
"There is a section titled "who look at my profile".
Most women are on ninja mode so it won’t show you that they’ve looked at your profile. The vast majority will look at your profile before deciding to reply to a message
Ninja Mode?? That's new to me."
I assume everyone uses it and not just women |
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By *og-ManMan 9 weeks ago
somewhere |
Have to say its not a great look being on complaining and some people make it harder for themselves by doing so
Dont moan about others for not replying to you ....
Just ask for advice if you need it
If you feel bitter and head wrecked.....leave ...dont stay somewhere thats not good for your mental health
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By *INTMan 9 weeks ago
Minutes from Somewhere Else |
"Just curious.. if so many of the people above aren't enjoying the site, why stay?? And that especially goes to the ones who state how well they do 'in the real world'.
"
I'd fit that category and thought my final paragraph was an adequate enough explanation. Perhaps it wasn't.
I'd also like to say that this isn't as simple a binary/zero-sum question. As with all things human, there is nuance.
In short, I'm an optimist.
I've been to many socials and met many people but - so far - the chemistry hasn't been there. That's not to say it never will be. I've yet to find someone into the same things that I am. So I return to Fab from time to time with hope. A fools hope, perhaps, but hope nonetheless.
In the meantime, I still enjoy having sex. I have a (married, vanilla) FWB who knows I'm quite happy to pursue an ONS if it's on. That's not to say I'm beating women off with a stick but I've had significantly more liaison outside of Fab than on it. Primarily ONS.
So while I've not yet found the right person, I see no reason to give up the search. |
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"Just curious.. if so many of the people above aren't enjoying the site, why stay?? And that especially goes to the ones who state how well they do 'in the real world'. "
•
It's a fair point. I suspect some people are here for the social aspects but, as you say, if they aren't enjoying it whatsoever then perhaps this isn't the site for them.
I have no "real world" and all my sexual encounters are exclusively from Fab, therefore it serves my purpose perfectly. Perhaps I would be less successful in the real world if Fab didn't exist... ...? |
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"Just curious.. if so many of the people above aren't enjoying the site, why stay?? And that especially goes to the ones who state how well they do 'in the real world'.
"
To be honest the site is hard as a single male but along with socials I've met some great people. I understand why it's hard after talking to women and hearing some of the stuff they go through let alone the amount of messages so I accepted that but before I understood it was quite off putting how defensive people were from the off. Lads being rude make it even harder for us |
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I haven't been meeting since before covid and that's by choice.
I just don't have the time or energy to meet new people so I'm happy to just take part in the forums now and again.
I rarely spend more than 30 mins a day on here and some days don't log in at all because it has never been anything more than a hobby.
I'm not a fan of socials but that isn't just restricted to fab socials.
It's definitely not a lifestyle choice and I think the site has long moved passed being a space where everyone has to use it to meet and have sex.
It can be an outlet for many things.
I don't complain about my time on fab because I'm in control of it and while I've had a few negative experiences I've never felt the need to leave because it is such a tiny part of my life. |
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Came for a quick peek a few years back, on a friend's recommendation, and got sucked in....literally and figuratively.
Made some good friends, some with and some without benefits and a few more with possibilities.
Have had my share of knockers and blockers on here but overall I have enjoyed my time on Fab and hope to continue for another while, if only to pee off those that would prefer to see the back of me....and I don't mean my profile pic... |
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By *astelloWoman 8 weeks ago
Far far away |
Met some amazing people through it. You get out of it what you put into it. Having said that the fervour of the early days of fab has definitely waned and quite content now with those in my fab circle.
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