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Did I do the right thing
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Reported my now ex for drink driving. Hes a functioning alcoholic and ive reported him numerous times in the last year. Today he was arrested for it (84 micrograms ) and hes blaming me for "ruining his life" (if he was stopped any time of any day he would be over the limit)..
Of course im feeling bad, logically I think i did the right thing but whats the concensus? |
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"Reported my now ex for drink driving. Hes a functioning alcoholic and ive reported him numerous times in the last year. Today he was arrested for it (84 micrograms ) and hes blaming me for "ruining his life" (if he was stopped any time of any day he would be over the limit)..
Of course im feeling bad, logically I think i did the right thing but whats the concensus?"
Question -
Were you going out of your way to get him caught?
Or
Were you doing what you did for the safety of others?
You may have "ruined his life" but I would be thinking on the lines of, who's life you may have saved today.
There is just no helping some people. |
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"Reported my now ex for drink driving. Hes a functioning alcoholic and ive reported him numerous times in the last year. Today he was arrested for it (84 micrograms ) and hes blaming me for "ruining his life" (if he was stopped any time of any day he would be over the limit)..
Of course im feeling bad, logically I think i did the right thing but whats the concensus?
Question -
Were you going out of your way to get him caught?
Or
Were you doing what you did for the safety of others?
You may have "ruined his life" but I would be thinking on the lines of, who's life you may have saved today.
There is just no helping some people. "
Tbh both.
Ive reported him several times over the last year, because every single day he got in that van, he was inebriated.
Ive tried to address it several times and get him into rehab. This was just the time that I reported him that he got caught. Every other time he hasnt been.
So to answer your question, both |
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Honestly we think yes while alcoholism is a disease anyone driving under the influence and being unable to react quickly enough to an emergency situation could have led to him being on manslaughter or a murder charge if his vehicle had of hit and killed someone. Hopefully he's ready to ask for the help he needs with his disease |
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By *om TangoMan 5 days ago
Tedavnet Co.Monaghan |
Hi OP. I can relate to what your experience is. Have you heard of Al-anon. It’s a group meeting for friends and family of those with an addiction problem. Helps us understand and how to deal with people with an addiction. In my opinion you did the right thing reporting a d*unk driver. You have likely saved lives. Please don’t hate the person with the addiction but hate the addiction. |
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"Hi OP. I can relate to what your experience is. Have you heard of Al-anon. It’s a group meeting for friends and family of those with an addiction problem. Helps us understand and how to deal with people with an addiction. In my opinion you did the right thing reporting a d*unk driver. You have likely saved lives. Please don’t hate the person with the addiction but hate the addiction. "
I dont hate him. I love him and want him to get help.
I looked up Al Anon last week but because he wasnt going to work when I was with him I couldnt join a meeting online, he would have gone mad.
Ill definitely be contacting them this week |
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You didn't ruin his life. The fact he said that means he hasn't taken ownership of his actions. Hopefully he will come to realize you probably did him a favour in the long run. If he doesn't.... then meh, you can't win them all and at least you don't have to live with any truly terrible consequences of not doing anything and the worst happening. |
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"Reported my now ex for drink driving. Hes a functioning alcoholic and ive reported him numerous times in the last year. Today he was arrested for it (84 micrograms ) and hes blaming me for "ruining his life" (if he was stopped any time of any day he would be over the limit)..
I know you may feel guilty but if he crashed into someone and took the lives of anyone , god forbid even children then you would feel a million times worst for not doing it,
Well done you and i genuinely wish more people would do the right thing and do what you have ,
Of course im feeling bad, logically I think i did the right thing but whats the concensus?"
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"Of course im feeling bad, logically I think i did the right thing but whats the concensus?"
You absolutely did the right thing, and he'll realise that in time - like others have said he's only lucky not to have far worse consequences happen if he's habitually driving incapacitated.
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"Hi OP. I can relate to what your experience is. Have you heard of Al-anon. It’s a group meeting for friends and family of those with an addiction problem. Helps us understand and how to deal with people with an addiction. In my opinion you did the right thing reporting a d*unk driver. You have likely saved lives. Please don’t hate the person with the addiction but hate the addiction.
I dont hate him. I love him and want him to get help.
I looked up Al Anon last week but because he wasnt going to work when I was with him I couldnt join a meeting online, he would have gone mad.
Ill definitely be contacting them this week"
It’s a great service for loved ones affected. Would he try AA himself? |
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"Hi OP. I can relate to what your experience is. Have you heard of Al-anon. It’s a group meeting for friends and family of those with an addiction problem. Helps us understand and how to deal with people with an addiction. In my opinion you did the right thing reporting a d*unk driver. You have likely saved lives. Please don’t hate the person with the addiction but hate the addiction.
I dont hate him. I love him and want him to get help.
I looked up Al Anon last week but because he wasnt going to work when I was with him I couldnt join a meeting online, he would have gone mad.
Ill definitely be contacting them this week
It’s a great service for loved ones affected. Would he try AA himself?"
No because he doesnt think he is sn alcoholic |
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You might have changed his life but he's the one thats ruined it
A friend did the exact same thing
They got divorced and he kept driving after losing his licence because he was twice the limit
He ended up in prison for a few months
All down to him ...not her |
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By *INTMan 4 days ago
Minutes from Somewhere Else |
100% did the right thing.
Was married to an abusive alcoholic and know well how their reactions can sometimes get you to second-guess your thoughts or your actions.
As others have pointed out, your actions may have saved a life. Possibly even his. |
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Thank you all. I was looking for reassurance because, after being pushed over resulting in a broken bone in my foot, ive also been blamed for being the one who "ruined his life", despite him being the one driving everyday with average 3-4 bottles of wine on him. |
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"A drink driver killed my cousin. I fully commend you.
You dont know who's life you saved. Yesterday, today, tomorrow or in the near future. You should feel proud and definitely not guilty
"
Thank you ❤️ |
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