FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Closed shop for single guys..
Closed shop for single guys..
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A lot of people make the judgment call based on the effort gone into the profile.
A two line bio and two pretty basic photos just won't stand out amongst tens of thousands of similar profiles.
Having an account over a year old with so little invested and no verifications would also likely raise a red flag for many. |
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By (user no longer on site) 2 weeks ago
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"I get it,,
Verified and your grand..
Im not !! , yet anyway..
Educate me please ? Thanks."
In my opinion, being verified only means you exist, I've seen loads of veris that say " dont miss out " blah blah blah & yet thats it from that person, people will only put up a veri thats " nice " & you will never read a bad veri cause they're never written or they're never posted, hence to me they only show you exist thats all. |
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Verifications (in person ones) aren't the be all and end all, but they don't mean feck all either.
They mean you turned up to something that you said you were going to. Someone who didn't take this basic step is a riskier meet than someone who did. They also mean that you likely are what you claim to be (the right sex and accurate-ish pics).
Not pointless, but won't mean you'll be knee deep in vag going forward. Just basic first steps.
No effort pics / profile / no steps taken to verify = very very low likelihood for success |
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Morning
If I could also throw something into the mix around verifications (and Im speaking as a male, to the other males here)
One thing that we (as males) probably dont take into account in relation to verifications is that females tend to read them (or at least some females) to ensure that you are not going to do them physical harm. This was pointed out to me by a lovely lady here (who Ive been extremely lucky to meet over and over). As many have pointed out on numerous posts such as this, there is no god given right to meet anyone here. Just because you are on the site, doesnt mean that every lady here immediately wants to jump into bed with you.
Bear in mind that for many ladies, they have experienced the "not so nice" side of this life style and as such, have to be extremely careful about who they might get into a difficult situation with. And, unfortunately, some males come in here with the mindset that, "of course every woman is gagging for it"....
I genuinely didnt realise that this was an issue for many, many women here until I had many a conversation with this wonderful woman. I wont mention her by name but she knows who she is !
Happy Sunday !
|
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Risk mitigation.
Make sure your not violent or going to cause trouble.
ALSO; even a lot of Verified users turn out to be time wasters but we need a system to out the casual browsers who have no intention of participating.
Go to a Social to get verified. x |
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Verifications mean to me you exist as the person you claim to be, and that you made the effort to actually turn up to something you said you would. They're only part of the decision making process of whether to engage or not.
It most definitely isn't a closed shop for single men, at least not those who make an effort and take some personal responsibility for their "success" on here. It's early and I'm not fully awake, I can't think of a better word  |
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"Morning
If I could also throw something into the mix around verifications (and Im speaking as a male, to the other males here)
One thing that we (as males) probably dont take into account in relation to verifications is that females tend to read them (or at least some females) to ensure that you are not going to do them physical harm. This was pointed out to me by a lovely lady here (who Ive been extremely lucky to meet over and over). As many have pointed out on numerous posts such as this, there is no god given right to meet anyone here. Just because you are on the site, doesnt mean that every lady here immediately wants to jump into bed with you.
Bear in mind that for many ladies, they have experienced the "not so nice" side of this life style and as such, have to be extremely careful about who they might get into a difficult situation with. And, unfortunately, some males come in here with the mindset that, "of course every woman is gagging for it"....
I genuinely didnt realise that this was an issue for many, many women here until I had many a conversation with this wonderful woman. I wont mention her by name but she knows who she is !
Happy Sunday !
"
How does a verification prove a guy is not going to cause physical harm? Do you honestly think a person is going to show a verification stating anything negative.. of course they aren't.
If a guy causes physical harm they should be reported to admin and/or the Gardai, not have something written in a verification. Fecks sake. |
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It amazes me people won't meet unless you are verified. How can you get meet verified if they won't meet lol. I only have met 1 lady from here and she doesn't do verifications as she probably doesn't want folk to see the amount of people she meets. I think single guys are on a downer here.🙄🙄 |
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Going to a social, chatting to some people and getting them to verify you is the first significant step on a hopefully long and fulfilling Fab journey. Confirmation that you exist will not in itself get you meets so personality, appearance and most importantly, mutual attraction, must exist to create the compatibility that might lead to intimate encounters.
Attending organised events is key but most events are for verified's only. Some "unverified socials" do take place but you are very much at the mercy of the organisers in getting to attend. The ultimate Fab catch 22 situation.
My Fab journey got off to an amazing start by making a connection with my "Fab Angel" on a Help a Fabber thread. She met me for coffee, verified me and I took it from there. We only met that one time but I will always be extremely grateful to her for such a kind gesture.
I have often offered to help on similar regularly posted threads but only once had my offer accepted. It is mainly guys looking for veris but most are reluctant to be seen to have met another guy.
Whether you are real life straight or even Fab straight, coffee and a chat doesn't make you bi/gay or otherwise but most guys don’t see it that way and wont meet other guys and therefore remain in the Fab unverified wilderness.
It is never an easy ride but every journey begins with a single step and while there may be cul de sacs or even roads that are blocked Fab will bring a reward equal to the effort put in to planning the adventure.
"Fail to plan, plan to fail".
|
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"It amazes me people won't meet unless you are verified. How can you get meet verified if they won't meet lol. I only have met 1 lady from here and she doesn't do verifications as she probably doesn't want folk to see the amount of people she meets. I think single guys are on a downer here.🙄🙄"
Have you considered going to one of the many organised socials?
Again, single guys may be at a certain disadvantage by virtue of the sheer volume, but those who make an effort rather than blaming the system seem to do alright |
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"Morning
If I could also throw something into the mix around verifications (and Im speaking as a male, to the other males here)
One thing that we (as males) probably dont take into account in relation to verifications is that females tend to read them (or at least some females) to ensure that you are not going to do them physical harm. This was pointed out to me by a lovely lady here (who Ive been extremely lucky to meet over and over). As many have pointed out on numerous posts such as this, there is no god given right to meet anyone here. Just because you are on the site, doesnt mean that every lady here immediately wants to jump into bed with you.
Bear in mind that for many ladies, they have experienced the "not so nice" side of this life style and as such, have to be extremely careful about who they might get into a difficult situation with. And, unfortunately, some males come in here with the mindset that, "of course every woman is gagging for it"....
I genuinely didnt realise that this was an issue for many, many women here until I had many a conversation with this wonderful woman. I wont mention her by name but she knows who she is !
Happy Sunday !
"
There is so much of what you have written that I would disagree with completely.
There are many people,both men and women, on here who have had negative experiences over the years and having positive verifications was never a deterrent.
I know from experience of men being removed from chat groups and events for following women home from socials.
Those men had been on the site for many years and had dozens of verifications saying they were lovely individuals.
I've also witnessed other women in those chat groups asking for the men to be reinstated because they were hot!
If a grown adult, regardless of gender, thinks it's acceptable to have predators and stalkers in a chat group that says as much about their own mindset as it does about the guys themselves.
Verifications mean absolutely nothing apart from verifying that you are the gender you claim to be and look a little like your profile pics.
Anyone stupid enough to meet people through a website based solely on a couple of lines from other random strangers needs to give their head a wobble.
One person's hero is another's absolute cunt.
Make your own mind up about people and stop relying on other people's opinions and this whole site becomes a much better experience. |
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Verifications are good but does not guarantee that you will have a good experience. We have met few guys since we joined and some have been good and some just not to our taste and completely different to what you would expect from their verifications.
Recently met a guy who had over 15 verifications. Said he wasn’t married but arrived with a wedding ring.
He arrived smelling of BO so didn’t even have the decency to shower.
Use verifications as a starting point. Chat for a bit and then meet in a public space. If everything feels good and everyone is happy then enjoy the ride  |
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"Morning
If I could also throw something into the mix around verifications (and Im speaking as a male, to the other males here)
One thing that we (as males) probably dont take into account in relation to verifications is that females tend to read them (or at least some females) to ensure that you are not going to do them physical harm. This was pointed out to me by a lovely lady here (who Ive been extremely lucky to meet over and over). As many have pointed out on numerous posts such as this, there is no god given right to meet anyone here. Just because you are on the site, doesnt mean that every lady here immediately wants to jump into bed with you.
Bear in mind that for many ladies, they have experienced the "not so nice" side of this life style and as such, have to be extremely careful about who they might get into a difficult situation with. And, unfortunately, some males come in here with the mindset that, "of course every woman is gagging for it"....
I genuinely didnt realise that this was an issue for many, many women here until I had many a conversation with this wonderful woman. I wont mention her by name but she knows who she is !
Happy Sunday !
How does a verification prove a guy is not going to cause physical harm? Do you honestly think a person is going to show a verification stating anything negative.. of course they aren't.
If a guy causes physical harm they should be reported to admin and/or the Gardai, not have something written in a verification. Fecks sake."
What I meant on this one was a positive verification which shows that a lady has met a guy, had a positive experience, and states same, is important to some females....not all...of course, a guy who is a not so nice individual is never going to post a verification that shows him up as such...and of course a verification will never definitively prove that someone wont attack you...it goes both ways...but its a tool that some people like to use in their "filtering process". |
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"How does a verification prove a guy is not going to cause physical harm? Do you honestly think a person is going to show a verification stating anything negative.. of course they aren't.
If a guy causes physical harm they should be reported to admin and/or the Gardai, not have something written in a verification. Fecks sake."
It definitely doesn't prove that... But a nice readable previous in person verification says that they turned up, they chose the right sex, and that they didn't cause harm to the person verifying. That is info that someone doesn't have about an unverified person. It's far from perfect, but some info is better than no info. |
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People say verifications don't mean much, and they're right in that they don't guarantee someone is genuine, respectful or safe. But with the amount of bots, fake profiles and now AI being used to write profiles and messages, having something that shows you've actually met a real person is probably only going to become more important.
It's a bit like online reviews. A company with 100 five-star reviews can still do a terrible job, but most of us would still choose them over a company with no reviews at all. The reviews don't guarantee a good experience, they just provide a bit of confidence and reduce the uncertainty.
I see verifications the same way. They're not proof that someone is a great person, they're just one piece of information, I personally find that little bit of reassurance has value. |
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Verification!!! Means just that someone else from this community has indeed met or chatted with you!
That's it.
Now the other verification method!
On fab there are sub groups who if they don't dig you ! Will gossip behind your back and either make or break you on here.
I've heard lots on many fellas and ladies it's like a school yard on here sometimes.
So get verification by attending socials or organising a little get together and find your group of people who will support and help you through the ups and downs with in this community.
There are so many positives to this amazing community so enjoy and be happy 😁 |
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Parties organised by experienced Fabbers are one of the safest ways to meet and play with guys.
The ladies who attend parties regularly will attest to this.
The guys who attend parties regularly and are well established on the scene tend to do well.
The one-to-one meets I would only recommend when a guy is well verified on the scene, and even then you can't be too sure.
The men of well known couples are often overlooked by the single women and they're sometimes the safest bet of them all.
And yes, newbie single male Fabbers have no clue of the risks that women have to make to meet new guys on here.
Mrs  |
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By *og-ManMan 2 weeks ago
somewhere |
Its never been easier as a single male to get a verification
Put in the effort on here and you'll enjoy yourself....simple as that
Attend a coffee social...there's lots advertised on the forums
Get your name know by using the forums
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"
The men of well known couples are often overlooked by the single women and they're sometimes the safest bet of them all."
I don’t fully agree with this. There are a significant number of male halves of couples who are incredibly unpleasant yet everyone says they’re sound because they don’t want to get on the bad side of the female half of the couple.
There are loads of lovely, sound, very safe single men on here. There are also loads of entitled dipshits who think they’re gods gift. The challenge is finding the good ones and to help us do that, you need to put effort in. Reflect the effort you’d put into a play meet with the effort you put into your profile - it’s not a guarantee but it’s a good start. |
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By *oldByMarCouple 2 weeks ago
playa de ingles |
"
The men of well known couples are often overlooked by the single women and they're sometimes the safest bet of them all.
I don’t fully agree with this. There are a significant number of male halves of couples who are incredibly unpleasant yet everyone says they’re sound because they don’t want to get on the bad side of the female half of the couple.
There are loads of lovely, sound, very safe single men on here. There are also loads of entitled dipshits who think they’re gods gift. The challenge is finding the good ones and to help us do that, you need to put effort in. Reflect the effort you’d put into a play meet with the effort you put into your profile - it’s not a guarantee but it’s a good start. "
The same can be said for the females
It’s not just the males
Some females on here think their Pee is perfume but far from it and likewise for males suckin up to these so called self proclaimed unicorns 🦄 so that they can get the attention
 |
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I've met plenty of single guys that are doing well and put themselves out there. Most guys with a good personality are fairly popular on the scene. At socials and one to one meets.
I would only overlook married guys based on experiences so far. Just doesn't work out.
I look at Verifications as an indication of their ability to socialise. If they are from events then its generally clear how they mix with people. I try to write a Verification that reflects the interaction and whether I'd meet them again. And their other verifications will give me a clue to that too if I'm deciding whether to meet someone. |
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By *aseylee324Couple 2 weeks ago
Valley of Squinting Windows |
"Morning
If I could also throw something into the mix around verifications (and Im speaking as a male, to the other males here)
One thing that we (as males) probably dont take into account in relation to verifications is that females tend to read them (or at least some females) to ensure that you are not going to do them physical harm. This was pointed out to me by a lovely lady here (who Ive been extremely lucky to meet over and over). As many have pointed out on numerous posts such as this, there is no god given right to meet anyone here. Just because you are on the site, doesnt mean that every lady here immediately wants to jump into bed with you.
Bear in mind that for many ladies, they have experienced the "not so nice" side of this life style and as such, have to be extremely careful about who they might get into a difficult situation with. And, unfortunately, some males come in here with the mindset that, "of course every woman is gagging for it"....
I genuinely didnt realise that this was an issue for many, many women here until I had many a conversation with this wonderful woman. I wont mention her by name but she knows who she is !
Happy Sunday !
There is so much of what you have written that I would disagree with completely.
There are many people,both men and women, on here who have had negative experiences over the years and having positive verifications was never a deterrent.
I know from experience of men being removed from chat groups and events for following women home from socials.
Those men had been on the site for many years and had dozens of verifications saying they were lovely individuals.
I've also witnessed other women in those chat groups asking for the men to be reinstated because they were hot!
If a grown adult, regardless of gender, thinks it's acceptable to have predators and stalkers in a chat group that says as much about their own mindset as it does about the guys themselves.
Verifications mean absolutely nothing apart from verifying that you are the gender you claim to be and look a little like your profile pics.
Anyone stupid enough to meet people through a website based solely on a couple of lines from other random strangers needs to give their head a wobble.
One person's hero is another's absolute cunt.
Make your own mind up about people and stop relying on other people's opinions and this whole site becomes a much better experience."
Nailed it |
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"I get it,,
Verified and your grand..
Im not !! , yet anyway..
Educate me please ? Thanks."
In my opinion, if you're living in Dublin or the east of the country in general and can't get a verification, I'd have to question why?
There are so many socials and events of all sorts if you're willing to get out and put in just a little bit of effort...if you're not willing to, that kind of tells its own story.
Mr. |
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By *rishCWoman 2 weeks ago
Cavan |
"Morning
If I could also throw something into the mix around verifications (and Im speaking as a male, to the other males here)
One thing that we (as males) probably dont take into account in relation to verifications is that females tend to read them (or at least some females) to ensure that you are not going to do them physical harm. This was pointed out to me by a lovely lady here (who Ive been extremely lucky to meet over and over). As many have pointed out on numerous posts such as this, there is no god given right to meet anyone here. Just because you are on the site, doesnt mean that every lady here immediately wants to jump into bed with you.
Bear in mind that for many ladies, they have experienced the "not so nice" side of this life style and as such, have to be extremely careful about who they might get into a difficult situation with. And, unfortunately, some males come in here with the mindset that, "of course every woman is gagging for it"....
I genuinely didnt realise that this was an issue for many, many women here until I had many a conversation with this wonderful woman. I wont mention her by name but she knows who she is !
Happy Sunday !
"
°
°
This.
Exactly this. |
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"
The men of well known couples are often overlooked by the single women and they're sometimes the safest bet of them all.
I don’t fully agree with this. There are a significant number of male halves of couples who are incredibly unpleasant yet everyone says they’re sound because they don’t want to get on the bad side of the female half of the couple.
There are loads of lovely, sound, very safe single men on here. There are also loads of entitled dipshits who think they’re gods gift. The challenge is finding the good ones and to help us do that, you need to put effort in. Reflect the effort you’d put into a play meet with the effort you put into your profile - it’s not a guarantee but it’s a good start. "
....
Who's gift should the entitled, dipshit, atheists among us think we are.
Asking for a, deity disbelieving, big saviour in the sky skeptical, friend. |
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"
The men of well known couples are often overlooked by the single women and they're sometimes the safest bet of them all.
I don’t fully agree with this. There are a significant number of male halves of couples who are incredibly unpleasant yet everyone says they’re sound because they don’t want to get on the bad side of the female half of the couple.
There are loads of lovely, sound, very safe single men on here. There are also loads of entitled dipshits who think they’re gods gift. The challenge is finding the good ones and to help us do that, you need to put effort in. Reflect the effort you’d put into a play meet with the effort you put into your profile - it’s not a guarantee but it’s a good start. "
So you agree with me when I say "sometimes" |
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" I'm new here myself I suppose the best thing is just try and attend some socials first and get some verifications that way first.
·
Exactly that 💯 and you’ve put effort into an informative bio 👌🏻 "
•
I completely agree.
You've only been here four weeks and therefore that's the equivalent of four seconds in the Fab timeline. You need to be patient. However, your profile is brilliant — at least you have substantial narrative to describe yourself and what you're looking for, and what you offer. ⚜️ |
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