FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > I need a slutty Sherpa or spirit guide or special need assistant for Fabswingers
I need a slutty Sherpa or spirit guide or special need assistant for Fabswingers
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Ok so firstly, please only give constructive criticism if possible. I asked this question before and the post instantly became flypaper for fingerwaggers and general buzz killers.
I’ve recently returned from living abroad where the ‘system’ for want of a better word is a little more open and accepting than here. Not complaining, just explaining my difficulty with fitting in and making friends.
Is there an experienced and benevolent soul out there in the sea of fabulous swingers who might take a look at my profile and critique it and give feedback? I know that the joke is problematic or some people but I’m not giving it up on principle. It’s fun, or an attempt at fun, just like everything we do here is supposed to be in my opinion.
Anything else on my profile is up for grabs and I’d greatly appreciate constructive feedback from experienced users.
Play like this was a huge part of my life when abroad and Inwas really looking forward to discovering the Irish scene and making friends etc. To be honest I dread large socials but will go if that’s the only option. I worry though that the version of me at a large social event won’t be exactly the best version of me I’d like to introduce to people who I ultimately wanna get naked n have the forbidden fun with..
Can anyone advise on either a) is my profile giving the ick?; b) is there jsut way too many single guys and, if so, what are the best ways to cut through the white noise?; and c) is there actually a lot of meet-ups going on at all and are these meets between the same cliques over and over?
As a secondary request, do any other newcomers wanna form a discussion n see how the fuck we can get accepted to the scene n start having some actual fun? 🔥😂😂😂 |
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Some choice..a slut or an S.N.A
The title alone won't help you
Op just read back over the threads you've started previously about your difficulties on here and actually take on board the advice
Fab works for some people very well and you can be sure its not from woe is me threads that mention all the fab cliché....too many men, the cliques or let's get all the unsuccessful men together to discuss how to have sex with the women of fab
Not a good luck
If you're trying something for well over a year and its not working then change what you're doing not what fab is doing
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Did you live abroad again in between threads?
If not I would lose the recently moved back stuff.
If you want to go with dark humor on your profile then just go for it.
bother with a disclaimer thats longer than the actual joke.
One generic gym pic that looks like 1000 other quickly taken gym selfies wont attract much attention either.
The whole thing about finding it easier abroad just sounds like bluster and compensating. It may be true but even so its redundant.
Hidden veris from a profile thats claiming to struggle for meets with one photo is a red flag for alot of people |
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If you say you have a dark sense of humour then just own it and stop making excuses for it.
If you have to explain your humour it's not really working for you.
It's along the lines of claiming to be nice or genuine.
If you feel the need to explain any of the above it means you are aware that you are projecting a completely different image to others and are trying to justify it.
A sense of humour might put some off. Doubling down on it will put even more people off. |
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It'd be no harm to read through the answers you got when you posted a similar thread 47 weeks ago I'd say.
Lose all the craic about your experience abroad and just returned home. The Irish scene is different etc etc Those are clichés that many men use when they don't get on well on fab.
Lose the dark humour. You refused on your last thread but it's been nearly a year and it looks like nothing has changed for you.
Get your story straight about your marital status. It's obvious to anyone with a little experience of this place when a man is married or partnered.
Don't moan. Don't explain. Don't make excuses.
Hope that helps! |
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Correct me if I’m wrong but the line about going to a social next week has been on your profile since the last time you posted a thread like this.
I assume you never went to the social or you’d have more veris.
Either go to socials or don’t. No one cares about you saying they’re not for you but you’re going to go if you have to. There’s no such thing as a fab martyr.
Honestly, your profile just reads as immature. Immaturity isn’t sexy. |
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Sherpa, Spirit Guide or Special Needs Assistant - you need to go on a walkabout lad. I'd start with where you asked something similar over 40 wks ago.
Your grabbing the bull (not the kind you imagine yourself to possibly be) by the horns in a cattle crush and wondering why he's kicking the fcuk out of it!
Keep it simple, steady and easy.
The scene is different abroad, (saw that myself when I returned a long time ago now) don't dwell on it, your here now, so accept the reality.
The "serial murderer" joke, not very PC when you consider there is a bit of an problem here at the minute which is being ignored. Groups are closed for a reason, it gives security to participants who have agreed boundaries, your not going to bring someone new without that person being sounded out.
Social events work for some people, they're not practical for others with 3 degrees of separation in 🇮🇪
Try opening up your profile for everyone to message you and have general chats.
I can think I'm good craic, the reality is, I'm boring as fcuk as far as many are concerned... sociable 🤔 feck that, its hard to make small talk without being able to complain about the rain (and who is idiotic to risk it, in this current glorious weather?)
To answer your question of to many single guys?
Of course there is, any lady who joins is automatically bombarded with dick pics as part of a sausage fest takeover. Ignore the "cliques" - they're everywhere, just paddle your own canoe.
Dont cut through any "white noise" sit in the dark and observe, take heed, and make changes. |
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Tbh lots of things on the profile are a red flag. The kind of guy who posts gym pics are usually very up themselves, so that's not a great start. No other pics either, I'd say you need 8 to 10 and a mix of bedroom and vanilla shots (like out for a walk in the park type of thing).
Your verifications are hidden. What have you got to hide? Are you ashamed of your previous meets? So that's not a great impression.
Be clear what you actually are offering. Are you a third guy in an MMf or MfM? Do you know the difference? A solo for one to ones. With women, men? Straight on here often means not straight lol. |
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"
Your verifications are hidden. What have you got to hide? Are you ashamed of your previous meets? So that's not a great impression.
"
Maybe they are not hiding anything but want to keep some things to themselves?
I get alot of people use to verification system on here as a an initial background check and that's fine, but others may like a bit more privacy and shouldn't been seen as a red flag because you can't nose through their meets 🤔
I personally don't want to feel like an amazon item receiving feedback post delivery, so not only have I hidden verifications on this profile and previous versions over the years, I've had social meets and more and explicitly requested no verification. Does that reduce opportunity for me? Yes! Am I ok with that? Also Yes! |
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"
Your verifications are hidden. What have you got to hide? Are you ashamed of your previous meets? So that's not a great impression.
Maybe they are not hiding anything but want to keep some things to themselves?
I get alot of people use to verification system on here as a an initial background check and that's fine, but others may like a bit more privacy and shouldn't been seen as a red flag because you can't nose through their meets 🤔
I personally don't want to feel like an amazon item receiving feedback post delivery, so not only have I hidden verifications on this profile and previous versions over the years, I've had social meets and more and explicitly requested no verification. Does that reduce opportunity for me? Yes! Am I ok with that? Also Yes!"
Thats fair.
But you also arent making a thread asking for people to point out issues with your profile.
I take the same approach as you with veris. But the issue is if there is already a bad vibe off a profile hidden veries only make it worse |
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"
Thats fair.
But you also arent making a thread asking for people to point out issues with your profile.
I take the same approach as you with veris. But the issue is if there is already a bad vibe off a profile hidden veries only make it worse"
All fair enough points!
The only thing I'd add, again in my opinion, verifications shouldn't be considered as part of your 'profile'.
Things such as username, photos, blurb, height, age, location, what you are into etc, would be what I constitute as part of a profile, whereas verifications may be seen as something more private to the person and shouldn't be judged if not made visible. |
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"
Thats fair.
But you also arent making a thread asking for people to point out issues with your profile.
I take the same approach as you with veris. But the issue is if there is already a bad vibe off a profile hidden veries only make it worse
All fair enough points!
The only thing I'd add, again in my opinion, verifications shouldn't be considered as part of your 'profile'.
Things such as username, photos, blurb, height, age, location, what you are into etc, would be what I constitute as part of a profile, whereas verifications may be seen as something more private to the person and shouldn't be judged if not made visible."
Whether or not you feel they should be considered or judged, the fact is they are. And how hidden ones are receieved will depend on the rest of the persons profile and behaviour comes across |
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Yeah that's why I was saying in my opinion they shouldn't, as it is clear the vast majroty on here see the requirement of visible verifications as key part of a profile.
I can only control what I do and who I interact with, but it's good to share opinions, even if the opinions are in the minority of overall views on here👍
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Someone suggested in the OP's previous thread that he hide the verification because the nature of it was an impediment to attracting other profiles.
In OP's defense he did take that advice and hide the veri.
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"Yeah that's why I was saying in my opinion they shouldn't, as it is clear the vast majroty on here see the requirement of visible verifications as key part of a profile.
I can only control what I do and who I interact with, but it's good to share opinions, even if the opinions are in the minority of overall views on here👍
"
I totally respect your right to hide veris but it is the case for us that they are an integral part of what we look for. But I agree is is only a part of the puzzle as it were. If all other parts were looking great we could envision that we would place lower importance for them. |
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"Someone suggested in the OP's previous thread that he hide the verification because the nature of it was an impediment to attracting other profiles.
In OP's defense he did take that advice and hide the veri.
"
I didn't read that but one veri can be not shown while others are viewable. Getting a wide selection of veris from both social settings and play meets means people can choose which ones to display.
I know we've played with people with very few veris but their profile was otherwise really good. And then when we added one, they reported back that they were getting lots of new interest from couples. |
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" Maybe they are not hiding anything but want to keep some things to themselves?
I get alot of people use to verification system on here as a an initial background check and that's fine, but others may like a bit more privacy and shouldn't been seen as a red flag because you can't nose through their meets 🤔
I personally don't want to feel like an amazon item receiving feedback post delivery, so not only have I hidden verifications on this profile and previous versions over the years, I've had social meets and more and explicitly requested no verification. Does that reduce opportunity for me? Yes! Am I ok with that? Also Yes!"
👍 All very logical points |
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OP as a single guy myself. You have to realise that here in Ireland there's probably 40, 50 or even more men to every woman on here. Straight away the odds are against you. Your profile is what gets you noticed. Get yourself along to a few socials to get yourself known. Word soon spreads as to the sort of person you are. Maybe get more involved in the forums not just posting your own threads. At the end of the day, you have to sell yourself. More importantly don't come across as needy. |
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"Us Irish really aren't that friendly ..that's just something the tourist board say to get visitors..I would be astounded if you actually got any help here."
You be astounded to hear he got helpful feedback the first time he posted pretty much the same request a year ago.
I didn't check the nationality of those who gave him the feedback. |
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"Us Irish really aren't that friendly ..that's just something the tourist board say to get visitors..I would be astounded if you actually got any help here."
He didn't ask for friendly.
He asked for advice. |
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