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Pet diaries

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Excerpts from our Dog's Diary:

* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from our Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"

Excerpts from our Dog's Diary:

* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from our Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

"

shes a clever pussy cat..

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By *iktikiCouple  over a year ago

city centre


"

Excerpts from our Dog's Diary:

* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from our Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

shes a clever pussy cat.. "

All pussies are clever

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By *ceryMan  over a year ago

Malahide & Waterford


"

Excerpts from our Dog's Diary:

* 8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!

* 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!

* 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

* 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

* 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!

* 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

* 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

* 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

* 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

* 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

* 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from our Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

shes a clever pussy cat..

All pussies are clever "

Woof! Woof!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Nice one. . . I liked that.

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By *arveygirthycockMan  over a year ago

Belfast

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That's so funny I could die...

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