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what would you do
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd just voice my concern. Wouldn't tell them what to do, just bring up that I was worried.
Hey, if it all goes to shit at least you can say you told them so.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally I'd say nothing, it's the messenger who gets shot, and she's marrying the guy and not his family. I know you have good intentions Hun but could back fire on you and cause a rift with you and your cousin |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I'd say nothing, it's the messenger who gets shot, and she's marrying the guy and not his family. I know you have good intentions Hun but could back fire on you and cause a rift with you and your cousin "
oh i know lolli im the villian they all they think i dont like him bcos of his dad but the truth is i dont like him bcos when i said to him wait till you meet the rest of the family he said and i quote i couldnt give a fuck about your family and i said but she is part of my family and her mum and he said it again
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut "
voice your opinion for sure
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All you can do is make them aware of what you know & state clearly you not trying to stir the proverbial but this is how this person behaves & please have a think about it at least. After that not a whole lot you can do unfortunately. I've been there & tried without much success & it's still happening. Best of luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut "
You could talk to her mother like you said & explain you're a bit worried for your cousin! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut
You could talk to her mother like you said & explain you're a bit worried for your cousin! Xx"
Thanks rosie i just have this fear she will end up like his mother and how the dad treats the mother is appauling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut
You could talk to her mother like you said & explain you're a bit worried for your cousin! XxThanks rosie i just have this fear she will end up like his mother and how the dad treats the mother is appauling "
But I wouldn't push it with her mother, you're cousins mother will need to be tactful when talking to her daughter, it'll be a tricky convo to have...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut
You could talk to her mother like you said & explain you're a bit worried for your cousin! XxThanks rosie i just have this fear she will end up like his mother and how the dad treats the mother is appauling
But I wouldn't push it with her mother, you're cousins mother will need to be tactful when talking to her daughter, it'll be a tricky convo to have... "
ye i may aswell face it im coming off this the bad end regardless |
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut "
Better she does not Marry him, so hard to get divorced nowadays. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut
Better she does not Marry him, so hard to get divorced nowadays. "
Worst bit she is in oz even harder there not to mention if babies start coming along |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" i may aswell face it im coming off this the bad end regardless
Can you not have this type of conversation with him again and record it??"
I wish sub they live in oz i was over there living with her myself which is how i saw all this and the other altercation about our family |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Honestly, she'll do what she wants regardless of what you think. I would make it learn you don't like them without saying you don't like them. You could end up losing part of your family because of your opinion of it all. Hopefully she'll cop on at some stage and realise.  |
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" i may aswell face it im coming off this the bad end regardless
Can you not have this type of conversation with him again and record it?? I wish sub they live in oz i was over there living with her myself which is how i saw all this and the other altercation about our family"
Ahhh.. completely different breed of men! I can visualize that scenario now.
I know Irish guys get slagged about how rude they are etc but they don't hold a candle to some Oz guys!
If he said he couldn't give a fuck then he means he couldn't give a fuck!!
Not really much you can do!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" i may aswell face it im coming off this the bad end regardless
Can you not have this type of conversation with him again and record it?? I wish sub they live in oz i was over there living with her myself which is how i saw all this and the other altercation about our family
Ahhh.. completely different breed of men! I can visualize that scenario now.
I know Irish guys get slagged about how rude they are etc but they don't hold a candle to some Oz guys!
If he said he couldn't give a fuck then he means he couldn't give a fuck!!
Not really much you can do!!"
So whatever is said to him, he won't give two flying F**ks about it anyway as it won't make him change his ways....   |
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" i may aswell face it im coming off this the bad end regardless
Can you not have this type of conversation with him again and record it?? I wish sub they live in oz i was over there living with her myself which is how i saw all this and the other altercation about our family
Ahhh.. completely different breed of men! I can visualize that scenario now.
I know Irish guys get slagged about how rude they are etc but they don't hold a candle to some Oz guys!
If he said he couldn't give a fuck then he means he couldn't give a fuck!!
Not really much you can do!!
So whatever is said to him, he won't give two flying F**ks about it anyway as it won't make him change his ways.... "
Not to him! |
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"Ok guys im in a bit of a sticky moment my cousin is marrying a rude .disrespectful guy who's family imparticular the dad has temper issues and manners of a sow .Do i tell my cousins mother the truth and hope she talks sense into her daughter or continue to be painted as the villian and keep my mouth shut
Better she does not Marry him, so hard to get divorced nowadays. Worst bit she is in oz even harder there not to mention if babies start coming along"
Correct.. Custody etc, and bringing children out of the country even for holidays would be so complicated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ultimately she'll make her own decision and if that still stands towards marrying him despite the family already knowing you are not a fan of his and his own then saying so again won't change anything I imagine; even with his comment towards your family.
Although you have nothing but good intentions, people will stand up or fall by their own decisions. And, as tough as it can be to see, need to make their own mistakes to learn from them; if of course it comes to that.
Although it might be tough to bite your lip, in my opinion, the best thing you could do is just be there for your cousin if and when needed and hope you're never needed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ultimately she'll make her own decision and if that still stands towards marrying him despite the family already knowing you are not a fan of his and his own then saying so again won't change anything I imagine; even with his comment towards your family.
Although you have nothing but good intentions, people will stand up or fall by their own decisions. And, as tough as it can be to see, need to make their own mistakes to learn from them; if of course it comes to that.
Although it might be tough to bite your lip, in my opinion, the best thing you could do is just be there for your cousin if and when needed and hope you're never needed."
Yep tough one i wont win .i spoke to her tonight snd she said he went into the off licence 3 wks ago and went mental at the guy serving bcos he refused her ID .The guy has a temper |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh dear...... I used to go out with a guy like that, he was a bit of a psycho you could say, he'd be nice to you one minute & flip out the next & it could be for a simple thing as me not smiling when he arrived home after one of his spins in his precious car!! I sure am glad that relationship is over!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh dear...... I used to go out with a guy like that, he was a bit of a psycho you could say, he'd be nice to you one minute & flip out the next & it could be for a simple thing as me not smiling when he arrived home after one of his spins in his precious car!! I sure am glad that relationship is over!!
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Well apparantly she was mortified and walked out of the off licence .When i said to her thats not normal behaviour she said i know but he doesnt shout at me on the defence straight away so my gut is saying and has said from day 1 he is like his father tempermental and no manners or respect for ppl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh dear...... I used to go out with a guy like that, he was a bit of a psycho you could say, he'd be nice to you one minute & flip out the next & it could be for a simple thing as me not smiling when he arrived home after one of his spins in his precious car!! I sure am glad that relationship is over!!
Well apparantly she was mortified and walked out of the off licence .When i said to her thats not normal behaviour she said i know but he doesnt shout at me on the defence straight away so my gut is saying and has said from day 1 he is like his father tempermental and no manners or respect for ppl"
I think you really do need to say something to her mother about his temper & what she told you just recently, I would leave out about what he said about family, just about his temper, sure that's enough isn't it.....
..... my ex flipped out so much at one time that he so nearly hit me, I was scared & felt physically sick after it, I was abroad at the time too..... he never hit me but he certainly is capable of it given his temper over the smallest of things..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh dear...... I used to go out with a guy like that, he was a bit of a psycho you could say, he'd be nice to you one minute & flip out the next & it could be for a simple thing as me not smiling when he arrived home after one of his spins in his precious car!! I sure am glad that relationship is over!!
Well apparantly she was mortified and walked out of the off licence .When i said to her thats not normal behaviour she said i know but he doesnt shout at me on the defence straight away so my gut is saying and has said from day 1 he is like his father tempermental and no manners or respect for ppl
I think you really do need to say something to her mother about his temper & what she told you just recently, I would leave out about what he said about family, just about his temper, sure that's enough isn't it.....
..... my ex flipped out so much at one time that he so nearly hit me, I was scared & felt physically sick after it, I was abroad at the time too..... he never hit me but he certainly is capable of it given his temper over the smallest of things....."
ye you this is the thing she lives so far away isolated on a farm think wolf creek outback land in oz no job no friends really so she has no network if anything happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't have that either and it was awful.... It's a control thing, be mean to a person & you do what he says for the sake of some peace but it never lasted long, he'd go off on one again so you'd never win..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I didn't have that either and it was awful.... It's a control thing, be mean to a person & you do what he says for the sake of some peace but it never lasted long, he'd go off on one again so you'd never win..... "
yep rosie me thinks your right .thanks for the advice
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't have that either and it was awful.... It's a control thing, be mean to a person & you do what he says for the sake of some peace but it never lasted long, he'd go off on one again so you'd never win..... yep rosie me thinks your right .thanks for the advice"
Well, I'm only telling you what I went through, it doesn't mean she's going through the same thing, it just sounds like it to me....
...... whatever you decide to do be tactful about it ok, don't push it with your cousins mother.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I didn't have that either and it was awful.... It's a control thing, be mean to a person & you do what he says for the sake of some peace but it never lasted long, he'd go off on one again so you'd never win..... yep rosie me thinks your right .thanks for the advice
Well, I'm only telling you what I went through, it doesn't mean she's going through the same thing, it just sounds like it to me....
...... whatever you decide to do be tactful about it ok, don't push it with your cousins mother.... "
i will try |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" i may aswell face it im coming off this the bad end regardless
Can you not have this type of conversation with him again and record it?? I wish sub they live in oz i was over there living with her myself which is how i saw all this and the other altercation about our family"
You can download apps on your mobile to record every conversation/cal you make. That might help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say anything. It's possible you could just make things worse. If she feels like her family don't like him she might become more withdrawn and she'll end up more isolated. Also if does go badly she might be less inclined to contact you's asking for help as her pride might make it more difficult.
Then if he finds out he can use it to persuade her to stay away from her family. Just continue to be there for her and be in a position to help her if thinks do go badly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I say try to talk to her but not the family and try to said in a way u can make her tink about it more but not in a way like u want to break them up talking to ur cousin will help so just help her think about it but remember never mention any about breaking up to her but the mind is a power think so u could just ask her are u sure u wanna gt married to this guy she will reply why u asking me this and u reply just making sure my cousin is happy wit her new man that all then leave it at that and tell her u have to go see ya later and that will leave her thinking that by avoid!!.. |
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