FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Open minded
Open minded
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its 2016, personally i would say I'm completely open minded and non judgemental. I'm not pass remarkable whatsoever, folks dig what you dig and as long as you're not hurting folk what harm are you doing?
My question is how open minded do you consider yourself? Are you 21st century or lighting the torches and assembling the village elders? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is a beautiful freedom to fab and each to their own as long as everybody is happy. I am fascinated by the different dynamics and likes of the people you come across here too but have encountered a few of the moral police...
One man's pleasure is another man's poison and the same applies to all of us...it is the only similarity I believe. Happy fabbing to all |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You'd assume that peeps on here are rather open minded. However I've learned in my fab life time that this is often not the case. Sad but that's how it is."
True enough, i had assumed this would be a more free environment |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a beautiful freedom to fab and each to their own as long as everybody is happy. I am fascinated by the different dynamics and likes of the people you come across here too but have encountered a few of the moral police...
One man's pleasure is another man's poison and the same applies to all of us...it is the only similarity I believe. Happy fabbing to all"
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Open minded and non judgemental in what kind of way?
Ppl being judged on sexual preferences or bi guys for example?"
Open minded in any way Hal.
Nobody should be judged on sexual preferences in this day and age |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Open minded and judgemental are words brought up mostly on cheating threads that I see is the reason I asked"
Very true...
But nobody knows what goes on in a marriage, and I think it's unfair to judge people who are attached being on here...
Just because someone is married doesn't me they don't love their partners if they are on here, or does it mean they are bad people! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
"Open minded and judgemental are words brought up mostly on cheating threads that I see is the reason I asked
Very true...
But nobody knows what goes on in a marriage, and I think it's unfair to judge people who are attached being on here...
Just because someone is married doesn't me they don't love their partners if they are on here, or does it mean they are bad people! "
I personally do judge ppl that hurt others.
I'm not a black and white kind of guy but some things to me are black and white
As long as no one is getting hurt then anyone can do as they wish. Most decent ppl live by this |
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I believe we'll meet people judging everywhere... and it is usually a reflection of their own insecurities or issues around that topic.
Also I think people can be jealous of free spirited / open minded folk, so they attack with judgments. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I believe we'll meet people judging everywhere... and it is usually a reflection of their own insecurities or issues around that topic.
Also I think people can be jealous of free spirited / open minded folk, so they attack with judgments."
ah now I'm seeing more open minded individuals |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable "
You and I know you aren't harming anyone so what matter does it make what others think. If you put it in you username you can't complain really |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What other people do or like is their business. I can't say I understand some people's choices or preferences but I don't have to. Whatever makes them happy. Can't understand judging other people, by what they, how they look or what their into. It's quite simply not my place to judge anyone. Though I have certainly discovered not everyone here thinks the same. |
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Unfortunately we're programmed to care what people think :/
We're a group animal, and our animal brain hates to think we're being judged by peers which could result in being 'kicked out of the tribe' which would have lead to death 15,000 years ago.
But if we focus on just our own close friends, that can help! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable "
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Open minded and judgemental are words brought up mostly on cheating threads that I see is the reason I asked
Very true...
But nobody knows what goes on in a marriage, and I think it's unfair to judge people who are attached being on here...
Just because someone is married doesn't me they don't love their partners if they are on here, or does it mean they are bad people!
I personally do judge ppl that hurt others.
I'm not a black and white kind of guy but some things to me are black and white
As long as no one is getting hurt then anyone can do as they wish. Most decent ppl live by this "
What the eyes don't see...
Nobody need know what happens here...
It's not an affair!
Just my opinion  |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
"
I think he would be more often judged for being a smoker than for the possibility that as a smoker he might bring unwanted police attention to a public event candy IMO Bit of a stretch
Your assuming he would be smoke at a public event or that he even wants to go to a public event. Most swinging done at home and most ppl who smoke don't smoke it in public anyway |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
You and I know you aren't harming anyone so what matter does it make what others think. If you put it in you username you can't complain really"
It doesn't matter as such, I'm comfortable in me and my habits. Genuinely it wasn't a complaint just an observation and some social commentary |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
I think he would be more often judged for being a smoker than for the possibility that as a smoker he might bring unwanted police attention to a public event candy IMO Bit of a stretch
Your assuming he would be smoke at a public event or that he even wants to go to a public event. Most swinging done at home and most ppl who smoke don't smoke it in public anyway"
I take your piint Candy and well set out it is but i have to go with Hal on this, a party organiser would have to be naive to think I'd rock up to their party smoking. That'd be rude and tbh would freak me sittin smoking with non smokers |
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"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
I think he would be more often judged for being a smoker than for the possibility that as a smoker he might bring unwanted police attention to a public event candy IMO Bit of a stretch
Your assuming he would be smoke at a public event or that he even wants to go to a public event. Most swinging done at home and most ppl who smoke don't smoke it in public anyway"
Also, at the risk of going even more off topic, there are still a lot of people in Ireland ignorant about marijuana. Some people see no difference between it and heroin. More and more are being educated about its benefits and it's not the bogeyman it once was.
But you'll still have people who consider people who smoke it as dirty junkies. |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
"Open minded and judgemental are words brought up mostly on cheating threads that I see is the reason I asked
Very true...
But nobody knows what goes on in a marriage, and I think it's unfair to judge people who are attached being on here...
Just because someone is married doesn't me they don't love their partners if they are on here, or does it mean they are bad people!
I personally do judge ppl that hurt others.
I'm not a black and white kind of guy but some things to me are black and white
As long as no one is getting hurt then anyone can do as they wish. Most decent ppl live by this
What the eyes don't see...
Nobody need know what happens here...
It's not an affair!
Just my opinion "
Your opinion makes absolutely no sense to me
If your partner or family find out or not is irrelevant to my point
If you are cheating on your partner you are hurting them
Some ppl don't mind potentially causing devastation to their loved ones and some do mind and take the risk anyway. And some try live and not hurt anybody. Live your life how you wish |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
I think he would be more often judged for being a smoker than for the possibility that as a smoker he might bring unwanted police attention to a public event candy IMO Bit of a stretch
Your assuming he would be smoke at a public event or that he even wants to go to a public event. Most swinging done at home and most ppl who smoke don't smoke it in public anyway
Also, at the risk of going even more off topic, there are still a lot of people in Ireland ignorant about marijuana. Some people see no difference between it and heroin. More and more are being educated about its benefits and it's not the bogeyman it once was.
But you'll still have people who consider people who smoke it as dirty junkies. "
so true bud. I dropped the same knowledge on folk a short time ago. Pardon the pun but the seeds have germinated and I'm feeding the shoots as i go |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
I think he would be more often judged for being a smoker than for the possibility that as a smoker he might bring unwanted police attention to a public event candy IMO Bit of a stretch
Your assuming he would be smoke at a public event or that he even wants to go to a public event. Most swinging done at home and most ppl who smoke don't smoke it in public anyway
I take your piint Candy and well set out it is but i have to go with Hal on this, a party organiser would have to be naive to think I'd rock up to their party smoking. That'd be rude and tbh would freak me sittin smoking with non smokers "
Having said that I personally have smoked at every party I have gone to. Public or private
And if someone has a problem with that then that's too bad I'm afraid. I ain't hurting you or anyone else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah i see Hal, as example i have received shit from folk due to three digits in my username. Its just a username it doesn't define me. I never expected to encounter such close minds here and wonder had i expressed a love of toxic fermented cereal would i have been more acceptable
But you have to remember, not everyone likes people who use illegal drugs. You may not have a problem with it but others will so you're barring yourself from their company, who's going to invite an admitted user to a public night out for fear that they might bring unwanted attention from others?
It's your profile, do what you want but they're my thoughts.
I think he would be more often judged for being a smoker than for the possibility that as a smoker he might bring unwanted police attention to a public event candy IMO Bit of a stretch
Your assuming he would be smoke at a public event or that he even wants to go to a public event. Most swinging done at home and most ppl who smoke don't smoke it in public anyway"
First one fair enough (but I wasn't thinking cops, more security staff/staff who are always present)
Second one, I wasn't presuming that at all Hal, I was suggesting that as he's openly using a drug code he probably wouldn't be invited (whether he wants to go or not never entered my mind). |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm just enjoying the free wheeling debate. True enough there proabaly are parties to be held in the future that I'm already blacklisted from anyhoo, ah well their loss  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Your opinion makes absolutely no sense to me
If your partner or family find out or not is irrelevant to my point
If you are cheating on your partner you are hurting them
Some ppl don't mind potentially causing devastation to their loved ones and some do mind and take the risk anyway. And some try live and not hurt anybody. Live your life how you wish"
A few months ago my best friend found messages from her partners Facebook page,he was having messages from a woman that she knows, it was obvious that they weren't involved sexually but he shared details of their relationship and problems they were having, they became very close..even tho there was no sex!
Now to me that's awful that this woman knew for months that all this was going on,she knows my friend her family/kids and now all this personal information...
That's betrayal to me...
Not meeting someone on line and having sex with them...
Everyone has different of opinions on this and as I said before I'll not judge those who are married and who play!
There's plenty of grey in a relationship...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Your opinion makes absolutely no sense to me
If your partner or family find out or not is irrelevant to my point
If you are cheating on your partner you are hurting them
Some ppl don't mind potentially causing devastation to their loved ones and some do mind and take the risk anyway. And some try live and not hurt anybody. Live your life how you wish
A few months ago my best friend found messages from her partners Facebook page,he was having messages from a woman that she knows, it was obvious that they weren't involved sexually but he shared details of their relationship and problems they were having, they became very close..even tho there was no sex!
Now to me that's awful that this woman knew for months that all this was going on,she knows my friend her family/kids and now all this personal information...
That's betrayal to me...
Not meeting someone on line and having sex with them...
Everyone has different of opinions on this and as I said before I'll not judge those who are married and who play!
There's plenty of grey in a relationship...
"
I don't mind if there are pubes or not, that's open minded  |
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By *ir1967Man
over a year ago
in da sticks, london, amsterdam, madrid |
Open minded is a wide ranging expression. The hotwife I am married to and myself consider us as very open minded people
As others stated in this threat, as longest no one get hurt anything goes. Doesn't mean that everything is our cup of tea, but we attempt to be non judgemental. I say attempt as I am certain that no matter how liberal ones mind set is there will be occasionally lifted eye brows about some topics. We all grew up with social norms and all have our burden to free us from Victorian moral chains. That some times works better and sometimes less
However "open minded" in the context of cheating sound to us as an excuse and we dare the open mind of the cheater, regardless whether we know what is going on in their background. If sexual freedom and right for fulfillment requires lies to be obtained, the freedom created becomes doubtful. Not only for the cheater but it becomes a liability for the play partner, a violation of dignity of the person been cheated on and a burden of dishonesty for the cheater. Fine by us if the one does so, just not with us!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its 2016, personally i would say I'm completely open minded and non judgemental.
But anyone over 50 is over the hill? 
Where did he say that? It's simply his preference on his profile.
"
I knew i liked you John lol. Its the preference I've set for now. I've been with ladies over 50 and if the opportunity arrives again I'll be there with bells on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its 2016, personally i would say I'm completely open minded and non judgemental.
But anyone over 50 is over the hill?
Where did he say that? It's simply his preference on his profile.
I knew i liked you John lol. Its the preference I've set for now. I've been with ladies over 50 and if the opportunity arrives again I'll be there with bells on "
You didn't know single men aren't allowed to have preferences?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its 2016, personally i would say I'm completely open minded and non judgemental.
But anyone over 50 is over the hill?
Where did he say that? It's simply his preference on his profile.
I knew i liked you John lol. Its the preference I've set for now. I've been with ladies over 50 and if the opportunity arrives again I'll be there with bells on
You didn't know single men aren't allowed to have preferences? "
Damn, i didn't. Please tell me Miss Pussycat, what and who should i be after? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its 2016, personally i would say I'm completely open minded and non judgemental.
But anyone over 50 is over the hill?
Where did he say that? It's simply his preference on his profile.
I knew i liked you John lol. Its the preference I've set for now. I've been with ladies over 50 and if the opportunity arrives again I'll be there with bells on
You didn't know single men aren't allowed to have preferences?
Damn, i didn't. Please tell me Miss Pussycat, what and who should i be after? "
They're called personal preferences for a reason   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Its 2016, personally i would say I'm completely open minded and non judgemental.
But anyone over 50 is over the hill?
Where did he say that? It's simply his preference on his profile.
I knew i liked you John lol. Its the preference I've set for now. I've been with ladies over 50 and if the opportunity arrives again I'll be there with bells on
You didn't know single men aren't allowed to have preferences?
Damn, i didn't. Please tell me Miss Pussycat, what and who should i be after?
They're called personal preferences for a reason "
Touche right now I'm hankering for somebody with the same first name as my favourite female race car driver |
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Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is a beautiful freedom to fab and each to their own as long as everybody is happy. I am fascinated by the different dynamics and likes of the people you come across here too but have encountered a few of the moral police...
One man's pleasure is another man's poison and the same applies to all of us...it is the only similarity I believe. Happy fabbing to all"
.....so what you're basically saying is....fuck them if they can't take a joke? .....my sentiments exactly. .  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
"
But wouldn't the other people at the social meet/party be in the same boat as you? |
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"Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
But wouldn't the other people at the social meet/party be in the same boat as you?"
Maybe so, just have to pluck up the courage some time i think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
But wouldn't the other people at the social meet/party be in the same boat as you?
Maybe so, just have to pluck up the courage some time i think."
You should. I think you'd like them. start with an M&G if you're not sure |
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"Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
But wouldn't the other people at the social meet/party be in the same boat as you?
Maybe so, just have to pluck up the courage some time i think.
You should. I think you'd like them. start with an M&G if you're not sure"
Maybe, sure the next one you go to loncav you can let me know.
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
"
That last statement has me baffled judgemental people have stopped u from going to a party or a social meet how did they do that exactly. Are u afraid they will all be sniggering in the corner look at the single guy it's more like wow a few single guys actually turned up
I am thinking g it may be a deeper fear u have that has prevented u from going |
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"Have always considered myself as openminded, like doing things apart from the norm or vanilla when it comes to meet.
Have met people of all ages, body shapes, sexual perferences and tried a bit on the fetish side too.
The one thing that i have been threatening to do, is go to either a social meet or party.
But it is the fact that there is judgemental people out there, that has stopped me from taking the plunge.
That last statement has me baffled judgemental people have stopped u from going to a party or a social meet how did they do that exactly. Are u afraid they will all be sniggering in the corner look at the single guy it's more like wow a few single guys actually turned up
I am thinking g it may be a deeper fear u have that has prevented u from going "
Nope it aint so much the single thing, but more the fact that i have bi on my profile... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i said judgemental, i didnt actually mean that people had being judging either.
Its just the fact that i wouldnt want that to happen...
See myself as more hetro flexible then bi..."
I wouldn't worry about that at a M&G or a party |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When i said judgemental, i didnt actually mean that people had being judging either.
Its just the fact that i wouldnt want that to happen...
See myself as more hetro flexible then bi...
I wouldn't worry about that at a M&G or a party"
Not at all. |
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"When i said judgemental, i didnt actually mean that people had being judging either.
Its just the fact that i wouldnt want that to happen...
See myself as more hetro flexible then bi...
I wouldn't worry about that at a M&G or a party"
Will look out in the forums for one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"When i said judgemental, i didnt actually mean that people had being judging either.
Its just the fact that i wouldnt want that to happen...
See myself as more hetro flexible then bi...
I wouldn't worry about that at a M&G or a party"
.....as long as you don't mind wearing the t-shirt... |
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"When i said judgemental, i didnt actually mean that people had being judging either.
Its just the fact that i wouldnt want that to happen...
See myself as more hetro flexible then bi...
I wouldn't worry about that at a M&G or a party.....as long as you don't mind wearing the t-shirt... "
As long as it aint pink... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When i said judgemental, i didnt actually mean that people had being judging either.
Its just the fact that i wouldnt want that to happen...
See myself as more hetro flexible then bi...
I wouldn't worry about that at a M&G or a party.....as long as you don't mind wearing the t-shirt...
As long as it aint pink..."
The t shirt isn't - the wrist band is |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is a beautiful freedom to fab and each to their own as long as everybody is happy. I am fascinated by the different dynamics and likes of the people you come across here too but have encountered a few of the moral police...
One man's pleasure is another man's poison and the same applies to all of us...it is the only similarity I believe. Happy fabbing to all.....so what you're basically saying is....fuck them if they can't take a joke? .....my sentiments exactly. . "
In a nutshell |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...basically saying is....fuck them if they can't take a joke? .....my sentiments exactly. .
In a nutshell"
Good to know that your age-preference was just that. (Not a judgement!) We're all entitled to it, after all. I personally try to avoid encounters with lads younger than my grandsons! 
Shandy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"folks dig what you dig and as long as you're not hurting folk what harm are you doing?"
As long as your not hurting folks
Suppose that would depend on how much consideration you give the other person in the first place? Not is always as it seems on here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"folks dig what you dig and as long as you're not hurting folk what harm are you doing?
As long as your not hurting folks
Suppose that would depend on how much consideration you give the other person in the first place? Not is always as it seems on here "
Agreed, there's quite a bit of smoke and mirrors on here |
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