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Financial abortion

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion?

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town

No I don't think so, why should the child suffer from there father not contributing for the upbringing of the child. The father choice not to have any contact or be in there life. But he should pay maintenance. Any court will insist on maintaining a child.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I think it's going to change in the future. I don't think it's wrong or right but I can see men saying it's against their rights. They've no decision if the mother doesn't want the child and they've no decision if the mother decides she does want the child so they'll just claim they never wanted and told the woman from the very beginning.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Very simple if a guy don't want kids use a condom... Problem solved

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By *ingerrrrWoman  over a year ago

Meath

They don’t need a financial abortion, they just walk away. Simple, then never contribute to the child’s life financially or emotionally.

Unless the woman chases them down and gets a court order they just pretend the whole thing never happened.

So many men do this., I don’t know how they can. But they do.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Very simple if a guy don't want kids use a condom... Problem solved "

This

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town


"I think it's going to change in the future. I don't think it's wrong or right but I can see men saying it's against their rights. They've no decision if the mother doesn't want the child and they've no decision if the mother decides she does want the child so they'll just claim they never wanted and told the woman from the very beginning. "
what about the child's rights, it takes two to make a baby and if the father does not want to be involved in there life he should stil support it.. unfortunately not all men like to hand over maintenance I have two adult children there father certainly wanted them but after we split didn't want to pay.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Men are capable of making decisions regarding their own bodies- condoms are great at preventing pregnancy.

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By *squaredCouple  over a year ago

Dublin/westmeath/kildare


"Men are capable of making decisions regarding their own bodies- condoms are great at preventing pregnancy. "

Agreed 100%.

If you don't want to pay something on the end of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha"

I mean "no input"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha"

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

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By *longshottMan  over a year ago

Limerick

This is probably a debate beyond solving when emotions attached. Solomon himself would find this one tough.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?"

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"This is probably a debate beyond solving when emotions attached. Solomon himself would find this one tough."

There'd be no emotions in the case I'm talking about. I'm saying before the child is born the guy has already decided to disconnect legally and not to get involved emotionally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child "

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"Very simple if a guy don't want kids use a condom... Problem solved "

It isn't that simple. Condoms aren't 100% safe, accidents can happen, relationships fall apart etc. etc.

I get the idea of financial abortion should provide a balance in the decision power over having a child or not which is in principle understandable. However the concept has some basic pitfalls that I can't see it work ever, ie:

What if the child wants to get to know his/her dad?

Up to how many weeks into pregnancy is financial abortion possible?

What if the father doesn't stay out of the mothers and the child's life?

How can you emotionally detach on paper?

Etc etcetera

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

However many weeks abortion is possible now would be the same for this. If the father continues to be in and out of the kids life then the woman should be legally able to go after him for maintenance. This is a scenario

A young married couple have three kids and are struggling extremely financially. They have rows etc.. over this and go through a trial separation. The man has protected sex (wore a condom) with another woman during that trial separation and she gets pregnant and tells him early on in the pregnancy. He's back with his wife and they're still struggling financially. He tells the girl he cannot afford another child and does not want one. He says she should abort it or will have to raise it without his assistance. Should he be legally allowed in this scenario to disconnect emotionally and financially?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I agree to a point with the OP, where he says the woman should be more responsible in making sure she doesn't get pregnant. It's easy for some men to fuck a woman, make her pregnant and walk away and never look back. Therefore women should to the best of their ability avoid an UNWANTED pregnancy because most likely she will quite literally be left holding the baby. The man has responsibility also but he can walk away and some do, so it's not as necessary, as regards the topic of this thread, for him to do his utmost to stay childfree.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion? "

As you rightly said a woman can neither be asked to and in this country nor is she given the option to consent to a legal and safe abortion in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. Although for years some men have walked away from the responsibility of bringing up a child they never consented to raise emotionally or financially it doesn't make it right.

I'm a firm believer that both are responsible for their actions.

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child "

Jaysos op, while I find the topic of the thread interesting you just undid it with this post. That's a rather arrogant, ignorant and immature opinion. It always needs two to become pregnant. The best way nowadays to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs are condoms and guess what a condom goes on the cock which is the male genital. A woman cannot force a condom onto your cock, it needs your cooperation mentally and physically!!!

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By *isdirtygirlWoman  over a year ago

Dublin


"However many weeks abortion is possible now would be the same for this. If the father continues to be in and out of the kids life then the woman should be legally able to go after him for maintenance. This is a scenario

A young married couple have three kids and are struggling extremely financially. They have rows etc.. over this and go through a trial separation. The man has protected sex (wore a condom) with another woman during that trial separation and she gets pregnant and tells him early on in the pregnancy. He's back with his wife and they're still struggling financially. He tells the girl he cannot afford another child and does not want one. He says she should abort it or will have to raise it without his assistance. Should he be legally allowed in this scenario to disconnect emotionally and financially? "

Why is the onus automatically placed on a woman to ensure she doesnt get pregnant again? Seriously!

Hows about the man takes responsibility for himself? Women pump chemicals into their bodies day in and day out to avoid unwanted pregnancies.

If you Op do not want a child or children then get the snip! Its cheaper and has no emotion involved. Then thered be no need for the financial abortion you speak of.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion?

As you rightly said a woman can neither be asked to and in this country nor is she given the option to consent to a legal and safe abortion in the case of an unwanted pregnancy. Although for years some men have walked away from the responsibility of bringing up a child they never consented to raise emotionally or financially it doesn't make it right.

I'm a firm believer that both are responsible for their actions."

Totally agree with you takes two to make a baby, happened to me i was very young he walked away never seen or heard from that day i told him.. his loss

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Do people not understand how condoms work? I wanted to learn Spanish, I moved to Spain. I didn’t want a kid, I used protection. Those are not gender specific statements. If you’re genuinely worried that the condom may break may I recommend abstinence.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Jaysos op, while I find the topic of the thread interesting you just undid it with this post. That's a rather arrogant, ignorant and immature opinion. It always needs two to become pregnant. The best way nowadays to protect yourself from pregnancy and STDs are condoms and guess what a condom goes on the cock which is the male genital. A woman cannot force a condom onto your cock, it needs your cooperation mentally and physically!!!"

She can refuse sex though. I knew this would be controversial and I still stand by my statements regardless of how I look after them.

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By *ohndunboyneMan  over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"Do people not understand how condoms work? I wanted to learn Spanish, I moved to Spain. I didn’t want a kid, I used protection. Those are not gender specific statements. If you’re genuinely worried that the condom may break may I recommend abstinence."

Or the female condom, if they're still making them.

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd "

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

"

Well said.. i agree with you 100%,

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

"

If that's the male attitude, you could argue why should a man then get the legal possibility to walk away from a pregnancy. It only makes it worse...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

"

I think what he's trying to say, and what I then tried to say is the responsibility should absolutely be equal, but there's more incentive on the woman's part to avoid a pregnancy she's not ready for.

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

If that's the male attitude, you could argue why should a man then get the legal possibility to walk away from a pregnancy. It only makes it worse..."

I think financially it's illegal and a woman can sue for maintenance.

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

I think what he's trying to say, and what I then tried to say is the responsibility should absolutely be equal, but there's more incentive on the woman's part to avoid a pregnancy she's not ready for. "

Exactly that Sally.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

I think what he's trying to say, and what I then tried to say is the responsibility should absolutely be equal, but there's more incentive on the woman's part to avoid a pregnancy she's not ready for.

Exactly that Sally."

I didn't say it right the first time, I'm glad it's clearer now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I'm just saying we're getting to a point where if a woman doesn't want a baby even when pregnant she won't have to have it. She'll have the choice and that's 100% fair but if a man doesn't want a baby he has no choice. I'm not the best to articulate what I'm trying to get across and this thread wasn't started from a crazy idea I had. I read about it this morning. I think there's a valid reason for men not to want a child too but there's no choice for them.

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Protection from pregnancy should be more a woman's responsibility?? What planet you living on ?

It should be both but if I was a woman I'd definitely be more concerned about it. Personally I don't want kids atm so always wear it regardless of what a woman tells me but I'm saying there's women who aren't with guys who will stick around and they're not protecting themselves with those guys. 100% believe women should be more protective than men in this since they're the one who will he carrying the child

Regardless of who carries the baby it's equally a man and woman's responsibility to avoid unwanted children. If men had to have the first child there would never be a 2nd

I agree with the shared responsibility. But, what I think the OP is saying is that the woman has more to lose.

The man can just walk easily away while the woman cannot.

If that's the male attitude, you could argue why should a man then get the legal possibility to walk away from a pregnancy. It only makes it worse...

I think financially it's illegal and a woman can sue for maintenance. "

I know that's the situation at present, but it certainly is a very strong argument against financial abortion. It causes a further imbalance of responsibility to avoid a pregnancy in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

A guy has zero choice at all in pregnancy. A child isn't just a huge life changer for a woman. If a happy couple get pregnant the man could be over the moon excited and the woman could just decide she doesn't want it and that's it. And then there's the case of one night stands where accidental pregnancy occurs and the guy could not want the child and the woman can still go ahead and have the child and persue him financially. I'm not painting women as bad here I'm saying there absolutely zero choice in the matter for men at present. A legal disconnect could be a potential in the future.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman  over a year ago

stourbridge area


"Very simple if a guy don't want kids use a condom... Problem solved "

Exactly this ....why is it lots of guys think it the womans responsibility to take precautions ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Very simple if a guy don't want kids use a condom... Problem solved

Exactly this ....why is it lots of guys think it the womans responsibility to take precautions .... "

That's not simple though. You can wear condoms and it can still happen. Condoms fail, the pill fail etc... Rare but happens. I'm saying if a woman feels she's not ready for a child then she has the choice not to have it. A man could be in a really bad place in life and obviously because he can't force abortion he has no choice but to take responsibility of a child.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"A guy has zero choice at all in pregnancy. A child isn't just a huge life changer for a woman. If a happy couple get pregnant the man could be over the moon excited and the woman could just decide she doesn't want it and that's it. And then there's the case of one night stands where accidental pregnancy occurs and the guy could not want the child and the woman can still go ahead and have the child and persue him financially. I'm not painting women as bad here I'm saying there absolutely zero choice in the matter for men at present. A legal disconnect could be a potential in the future. "

No woman 'just decides' she doesn't want a baby when she discovers she's pregnant, it's not a snap decision. I don't want to take away from the topic, but that statement was something I couldn't let slide, even though I don't think you meant it as literally as I read it.

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By *oxic1998Woman  over a year ago

Belfast

The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha"

Responsibilities lay on both sides my friend.. the woman may carry the baby but that don't mean ages to be in full control of your little swimmers .. protection from pregnancy should be on either end! Mistakes happen also.. be a better man and be there for the child ! If you don't have an income then try support the mother of the child in other ways. If you don't have an income then go get a better job. Life isn't always smooth!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"A guy has zero choice at all in pregnancy. A child isn't just a huge life changer for a woman. If a happy couple get pregnant the man could be over the moon excited and the woman could just decide she doesn't want it and that's it. And then there's the case of one night stands where accidental pregnancy occurs and the guy could not want the child and the woman can still go ahead and have the child and persue him financially. I'm not painting women as bad here I'm saying there absolutely zero choice in the matter for men at present. A legal disconnect could be a potential in the future.

No woman 'just decides' she doesn't want a baby when she discovers she's pregnant, it's not a snap decision. I don't want to take away from the topic, but that statement was something I couldn't let slide, even though I don't think you meant it as literally as I read it. "

It is wasnt meant like that but a woman can decide it'll impact her lifestyle even if she's in a stable relationship and in good financial health and that's perfectly OK and her choice but obviously most terminations are for serious reasons. No reason is needed anyway its her choice regardless.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Very simple if a guy don't want kids use a condom... Problem solved

Exactly this ....why is it lots of guys think it the womans responsibility to take precautions ....

That's not simple though. You can wear condoms and it can still happen. Condoms fail, the pill fail etc... Rare but happens. I'm saying if a woman feels she's not ready for a child then she has the choice not to have it. A man could be in a really bad place in life and obviously because he can't force abortion he has no choice but to take responsibility of a child. "

But if you are the biological father then why should you be forced to to take responsibility??? You shouldn't have to be forced.. you be a man and stand up to the plate. You support your child...

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense "

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either

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By *oxic1998Woman  over a year ago

Belfast


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either "

I agree Sally but if the man decides to go to court that would be my arguement. Yes ok at the time of sex its not on peoples mind.......but actions have consequence and should be accepted by both parties

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By *longshottMan  over a year ago

Limerick

This is probably not a popular point of view but I'm only playing devils advocate in a debate. If a woman here meets say 4 guys in month uses contraception and finds herself pregnant where would that situation be dealt with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either

I agree Sally but if the man decides to go to court that would be my arguement. Yes ok at the time of sex its not on peoples mind.......but actions have consequence and should be accepted by both parties "

I totally agree.

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either "

In this day and age you would hope that people are aware of the consequences of having unprotected sex. The heat of the moment isn't an excuse for letting responsibilities slip. It's just careless. If you bring in the problematic of stds even more so. I feel very strongly about leaving the contraception responsibility only in the women place and having to be the one who kills the joy by having to ask for safe sex or provide other contraception than a condom. It should be common practise to use a condom unless you're in a stable relationship. I've been too many times in that situation that I had to be the spoil sport and I'm sick and tired of it. It's all down to education, respect and shared responsibility. By just accepting the fact that it's more in the woman's interest to avoid pregnancy, you're playing into the hands of those that give a flying pancake.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either

In this day and age you would hope that people are aware of the consequences of having unprotected sex. The heat of the moment isn't an excuse for letting responsibilities slip. It's just careless. If you bring in the problematic of stds even more so. I feel very strongly about leaving the contraception responsibility only in the women place and having to be the one who kills the joy by having to ask for safe sex or provide other contraception than a condom. It should be common practise to use a condom unless you're in a stable relationship. I've been too many times in that situation that I had to be the spoil sport and I'm sick and tired of it. It's all down to education, respect and shared responsibility. By just accepting the fact that it's more in the woman's interest to avoid pregnancy, you're playing into the hands of those that give a flying pancake. "

But this is about people who have worn condoms and pregnanancy has occurred. If I'm to he totally honest here and it might surprise you but I've mentioned protection to women more than they have to me. I talk sex with girls I'm friends with and they're all saying they prefer the guy to go without because it feels better to them too. This woman telling men to wear protection thing doesn't happen as much as fab women might think. Obviously fab women are more concerned with safety. Well this is from my own experience anyway.

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By *isdirtygirlWoman  over a year ago

Dublin


"This is probably not a popular point of view but I'm only playing devils advocate in a debate. If a woman here meets say 4 guys in month uses contraception and finds herself pregnant where would that situation be dealt with. "

Genealogy DNA testing. Thats assuming the 4 men are willing to be tested. If only one agrees to be tested, it could rule him out of the equation also. Horrible situation for anyone to find themselves in on both sides.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think it's a rather snide response to the possibility of the repeal of the 8th amendment. Many men have had the freedom to walk away forever, I myself have no knowledge of my biological father. He had the freedom of 'financial abortion' without it being enshrined in law. Perhaps that is changing now with social media etc it may be harder for a man to escape responsibility. I accept that..

I don't really buy the argument that men are powerless by being cut out of the abortion argument. If I got someone pregnant I would have to accept financial and enotional responsibility should the lady wish to have the baby. Should she not wish to carry it to full term then again I'd have to accept my limited influence on that decision. I think these are scenarios I've long been prepared for.

Obviously this provides no context for the nature of the relationship. The discussion is obviously not even likely to come up during a planned pregnancy in a long term relationship. But even if it did I'd still have to accept that there has been a huge transference of power while the baby is in the womb. A woman should have full reproductive rights. If a long term partner had an abortion and I was unhappy about it, it would be my choice whether I continue that relationship or not.

Without playing to the gallery here I've long accepted that in the casual scenario if I get a woman pregnant then I'm duty bound to do whatever needs to be done emotionally and financially. Perhaps this has been influenced by my own circumstances though

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I think it's a rather snide response to the possibility of the repeal of the 8th amendment. Many men have had the freedom to walk away forever, I myself have no knowledge of my biological father. He had the freedom of 'financial abortion' without it being enshrined in law. Perhaps that is changing now with social media etc it may be harder for a man to escape responsibility. I accept that..

I don't really buy the argument that men are powerless by being cut out of the abortion argument. If I got someone pregnant I would have to accept financial and enotional responsibility should the lady wish to have the baby. Should she not wish to carry it to full term then again I'd have to accept my limited influence on that decision. I think these are scenarios I've long been prepared for.

Obviously this provides no context for the nature of the relationship. The discussion is obviously not even likely to come up during a planned pregnancy in a long term relationship. But even if it did I'd still have to accept that there has been a huge transference of power while the baby is in the womb. A woman should have full reproductive rights. If a long term partner had an abortion and I was unhappy about it, it would be my choice whether I continue that relationship or not.

Without playing to the gallery here I've long accepted that in the casual scenario if I get a woman pregnant then I'm duty bound to do whatever needs to be done emotionally and financially. Perhaps this has been influenced by my own circumstances though"

You've put that so much better than I could have. I'm sure your circumstances have influenced you as mine have me.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either

In this day and age you would hope that people are aware of the consequences of having unprotected sex. The heat of the moment isn't an excuse for letting responsibilities slip. It's just careless. If you bring in the problematic of stds even more so. I feel very strongly about leaving the contraception responsibility only in the women place and having to be the one who kills the joy by having to ask for safe sex or provide other contraception than a condom. It should be common practise to use a condom unless you're in a stable relationship. I've been too many times in that situation that I had to be the spoil sport and I'm sick and tired of it. It's all down to education, respect and shared responsibility. By just accepting the fact that it's more in the woman's interest to avoid pregnancy, you're playing into the hands of those that give a flying pancake. "

I agree that you would hope both parties would be thinking ahead and taking proper precautions. But that doesn't always prevent pregnancy, and it doesn't change the fact that men often walk away and all responsibility falls on the women, whether that's the responsibility to go ahead with the pregnancy or terminate it.

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman  over a year ago

stourbridge area

What a lovley gentleman .

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By *longshottMan  over a year ago

Limerick


"This is probably not a popular point of view but I'm only playing devils advocate in a debate. If a woman here meets say 4 guys in month uses contraception and finds herself pregnant where would that situation be dealt with.

Genealogy DNA testing. Thats assuming the 4 men are willing to be tested. If only one agrees to be tested, it could rule him out of the equation also. Horrible situation for anyone to find themselves in on both sides. "

Isn't this the crux of the situation. I presume you could get court order for testing but if the guys don't want to know where do you stand but to get that court order.

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By *isdirtygirlWoman  over a year ago

Dublin


"This is probably not a popular point of view but I'm only playing devils advocate in a debate. If a woman here meets say 4 guys in month uses contraception and finds herself pregnant where would that situation be dealt with.

Genealogy DNA testing. Thats assuming the 4 men are willing to be tested. If only one agrees to be tested, it could rule him out of the equation also. Horrible situation for anyone to find themselves in on both sides.

Isn't this the crux of the situation. I presume you could get court order for testing but if the guys don't want to know where do you stand but to get that court order."

If its a fab situation, then a court order wont work if full name and address of the men involved isnt known to the woman. Im cringing inside at the thoughts of this happening to anybody. All the woman can do is contact the guys in question and tell them her circumstances. Any decent man with a backbone shouldnt have an issue with providing a sample. I know its not always the case so the woman is left to deal with it herself.Its a sad world we live in.

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By *longshottMan  over a year ago

Limerick


"This is probably not a popular point of view but I'm only playing devils advocate in a debate. If a woman here meets say 4 guys in month uses contraception and finds herself pregnant where would that situation be dealt with.

Genealogy DNA testing. Thats assuming the 4 men are willing to be tested. If only one agrees to be tested, it could rule him out of the equation also. Horrible situation for anyone to find themselves in on both sides.

Isn't this the crux of the situation. I presume you could get court order for testing but if the guys don't want to know where do you stand but to get that court order.

If its a fab situation, then a court order wont work if full name and address of the men involved isnt known to the woman. Im cringing inside at the thoughts of this happening to anybody. All the woman can do is contact the guys in question and tell them her circumstances. Any decent man with a backbone shouldnt have an issue with providing a sample. I know its not always the case so the woman is left to deal with it herself.Its a sad world we live in. "

Very true miss but you see my point. The ideal is there but the real can be so different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I think it's a rather snide response to the possibility of the repeal of the 8th amendment. Many men have had the freedom to walk away forever, I myself have no knowledge of my biological father. He had the freedom of 'financial abortion' without it being enshrined in law. Perhaps that is changing now with social media etc it may be harder for a man to escape responsibility. I accept that..

I don't really buy the argument that men are powerless by being cut out of the abortion argument. If I got someone pregnant I would have to accept financial and enotional responsibility should the lady wish to have the baby. Should she not wish to carry it to full term then again I'd have to accept my limited influence on that decision. I think these are scenarios I've long been prepared for.

Obviously this provides no context for the nature of the relationship. The discussion is obviously not even likely to come up during a planned pregnancy in a long term relationship. But even if it did I'd still have to accept that there has been a huge transference of power while the baby is in the womb. A woman should have full reproductive rights. If a long term partner had an abortion and I was unhappy about it, it would be my choice whether I continue that relationship or not.

Without playing to the gallery here I've long accepted that in the casual scenario if I get a woman pregnant then I'm duty bound to do whatever needs to be done emotionally and financially. Perhaps this has been influenced by my own circumstances though"

This is no dig at the repeal the 8th motion. It was an American article. Irish people wouldn't even think of something like "financial abortion". I'm not political in any way. And have no desire to argue against a repeal. People complain our forums are silent so I'm trying to get people engaged again. Yesterday I tried a funny thread and failed haha. Plus once a thread like this is started the op has a responsibility to debate.

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

This is an interesting discussion!

Contraception should always be used when there is no desire for a child but let's say for instance this doesn't work (condoms break etc).

Women have a bunch of contraceptive options, men have condoms or vacectomy.

If a woman gets pregnant she has ALL of the rights and ALL of the options. She can abort even if the man is desperate to be a father and he is willing to raise the child alone. She can keep the child even if the father wants no part of this (he still has to pay). A woman can have the baby and give it up for adoption without the permission of the man, without even informing him. A woman can move away, have the child and say NOTHING to the man, keeping him out of the childs life completely.

The man has no options.

As a woman I truly believe that if men had the right to sign away all rights to the baby, financially and otherwise that the rates of abortion would simply skyrocket.

Us women have more rights and more options compared to men who have essentialy none as well as more ways to prevent pregnancy. Maybe it's time we took more responsability?

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By *longshottMan  over a year ago

Limerick


"I think it's a rather snide response to the possibility of the repeal of the 8th amendment. Many men have had the freedom to walk away forever, I myself have no knowledge of my biological father. He had the freedom of 'financial abortion' without it being enshrined in law. Perhaps that is changing now with social media etc it may be harder for a man to escape responsibility. I accept that..

I don't really buy the argument that men are powerless by being cut out of the abortion argument. If I got someone pregnant I would have to accept financial and enotional responsibility should the lady wish to have the baby. Should she not wish to carry it to full term then again I'd have to accept my limited influence on that decision. I think these are scenarios I've long been prepared for.

Obviously this provides no context for the nature of the relationship. The discussion is obviously not even likely to come up during a planned pregnancy in a long term relationship. But even if it did I'd still have to accept that there has been a huge transference of power while the baby is in the womb. A woman should have full reproductive rights. If a long term partner had an abortion and I was unhappy about it, it would be my choice whether I continue that relationship or not.

Without playing to the gallery here I've long accepted that in the casual scenario if I get a woman pregnant then I'm duty bound to do whatever needs to be done emotionally and financially. Perhaps this has been influenced by my own circumstances though

This is no dig at the repeal the 8th motion. It was an American article. Irish people wouldn't even think of something like "financial abortion". I'm not political in any way. And have no desire to argue against a repeal. People complain our forums are silent so I'm trying to get people engaged again. Yesterday I tried a funny thread and failed haha. Plus once a thread like this is started the op has a responsibility to debate. "

I must say it's good to see some form of discussion here and I like to see all opinions. It's annoying though when some think everyone should have their opinion and give people hard time over theirs or abuse them.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"This is an interesting discussion!

Contraception should always be used when there is no desire for a child but let's say for instance this doesn't work (condoms break etc).

Women have a bunch of contraceptive options, men have condoms or vacectomy.

If a woman gets pregnant she has ALL of the rights and ALL of the options. She can abort even if the man is desperate to be a father and he is willing to raise the child alone. She can keep the child even if the father wants no part of this (he still has to pay). A woman can have the baby and give it up for adoption without the permission of the man, without even informing him. A woman can move away, have the child and say NOTHING to the man, keeping him out of the childs life completely.

The man has no options.

As a woman I truly believe that if men had the right to sign away all rights to the baby, financially and otherwise that the rates of abortion would simply skyrocket.

Us women have more rights and more options compared to men who have essentialy none as well as more ways to prevent pregnancy. Maybe it's time we took more responsability?"

I have to agree with this, men essentially have very few reproductive rights, and as for the glib comments above about men using contraception if they don't want a child otherwise suck it up, imagine the furore if this retort was given to a woman seeking an a abortion. I've warned my son of the harsh reality regarding his rights in this area.

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

If a woman wants nothing to do with the child she’s a proud, empowered and independent woman who can abort a fetus from her body if she wants too, how she got pregnant is nobody’s business!

If a man wants nothing to do with the child he’s a deadbeat dad who should have kept it in his pants.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I assumed it was an Irish publication. Not having a go. It's an interesting discussion. Debate is good

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"The minute you decide to have sex with someone theres always a risk whether portection is used or not. You as a man make that choice......surely.... putting it in business terms you sign a contract when you have sex with a lady and accept the risk. Mistakes happen with or without protection. You make the choice and accept the terms when you have sex......same as a woman. As the saying goes " it takes 2"

Hope that makes sense

In an ideal world maybe, but I doubt many people, men or women, are thinking about potential babies when they have sex. If that were the case there'd be no unplanned pregnancies. There'd be no sex just for fun either

In this day and age you would hope that people are aware of the consequences of having unprotected sex. The heat of the moment isn't an excuse for letting responsibilities slip. It's just careless. If you bring in the problematic of stds even more so. I feel very strongly about leaving the contraception responsibility only in the women place and having to be the one who kills the joy by having to ask for safe sex or provide other contraception than a condom. It should be common practise to use a condom unless you're in a stable relationship. I've been too many times in that situation that I had to be the spoil sport and I'm sick and tired of it. It's all down to education, respect and shared responsibility. By just accepting the fact that it's more in the woman's interest to avoid pregnancy, you're playing into the hands of those that give a flying pancake.

But this is about people who have worn condoms and pregnanancy has occurred. If I'm to he totally honest here and it might surprise you but I've mentioned protection to women more than they have to me. I talk sex with girls I'm friends with and they're all saying they prefer the guy to go without because it feels better to them too. This woman telling men to wear protection thing doesn't happen as much as fab women might think. Obviously fab women are more concerned with safety. Well this is from my own experience anyway. "

I'm well aware that even with contraception things can go wrong, I pointed that out in my first response to this thread.

As for women (or men) looking for barebacks that's just sheer stupidity and carelessness if there's no other contraception involved especially in a casual sex situation.

Op, you're rightfully pointing out that there's little to no right for men in the case of pregnancy respectively abortion but you also stated 'if I could become pregnant I would have never unprotected sex again' which evoked a strong reaction on my side and my apologies if I was too hefty. The fact is that you can become 'pregnant' but it's obviously not in your womb. So maybe rethink your stand about 'the woman has more to loose'. There's very little point in discussing rights when there's no shared responsibility straight from the beginning.

Eventually it all boils down that both parties involved are responsible and have to take responsibility. Yes accidents can still happen, however I believe a financial abortion would leave many woman in a rather vulnerable position and you can only accept the situation as it is and act responsible when you engage in sex with someone.

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

Forgot to mention: there's the morning after pill for accidents, available in any pharmacy without prescription

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

————————

Currently it’s men that are left vulnerable, financial abortion would still leave women with options but would also allow men to have an option. Why shouldn’t a man have the same right to have nothing to do with a pregnancy?women already have this right.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Forgot to mention: there's the morning after pill for accidents, available in any pharmacy without prescription "

I got caught while on a antibiotic, hadnt a clue it would interfere with the pill.. harsh lesson, was only 20 at the time

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Know wat grinds my gears. A guy can walk away from a baby and not much is said. But if a woman does it. Shes the worst in the world.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town

[Removed by poster at 26/01/18 15:31:41]

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By *aa MidletonMan  over a year ago

east cork

Men's only choices are too wrap it up, get the snip, abstinence or find a lady who is an anal addict

Very complicated situation that OP has started here, but I understand that men don't have any legal grounding post sex

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’d question whether a man who chooses to walk away is actually a man.

It takes two to tango.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I’d question whether a man who chooses to walk away is actually a man.

It takes two to tango."

And if the woman doesn't want the child is she not actually a woman?

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

——————

This is part of the problem, men are held to a different standard of responsibility than women. If she wants to walk away it’s fine, her choice but a man who wants to walk away isn’t a man?

This is why 97% of work related deaths last year were men, you men are expected to “Man Up” and do the difficult and dangerous things.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/18 16:10:03]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Irish laws in relation to father's rights are is old and need to be changed for situations arising now

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/18 16:18:46]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/18 16:23:51]

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By *uriousPearCouple  over a year ago

dublin 5

I personally don't want a child but if were pregnant and he decided that didn't want anything to do with it perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. I don't think I would want my child to have a relationship with such an irresponsible person who doesn't want to be their dad.

I'd rather do my best for the kid than have another person half assing it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The work related deaths and the subject of debate are totally unrelated.

Also women don't have the rights you're suggesting they have,not here anyway and they do not get to do it without stigma. Are we suggesting that men go through life with greater stigma than women? Especially in areas of sex and reproduction and child care?

That's not my experience. I really don't believe that men are especially vulnerable. If I get a woman pregnant and it's unplanned I accept I may have to shoulder some financial or moral repsonsability regardless of the decision that woman takes. If she has it then obviously things would have to be sorted out regarding care etc.

This is the area I would be worried about. That a child can be withheld from a man for selfiah reasons. I'd like to think this would never happen to me but perhaps Im being obtuse about the fact I'd never be near a woman who would take that course of action.. sticking to the argument at hand financial abortion could actually lead to more real abortions giving that during a particularly stressful time a man might take legal recourse to absolve himself of all financial responsibility for a child that's still in the womb...that's an absurd scenario. "This man does not want you to have this baby so you either must abort it or care for it on your own when it's born"...As we currently stand most of the duty of care falls on a woman and historically it always has. Men at most are being asked to contribute financially but out of the two sexes in a scenario where the sexual partners aren't going to stay together the male is far less impacted by the birth of the child. I mean he doesn't have to push it out or even be there when it's born.. That's some pretty favourable terms if you ask me "

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

———————

You say a woman can have it aborted or bring it up themselves and there is also adoption. These are three valid options that the man does not have.

To turn it arround, if a man wants the baby the woman can abort it or even have the child then put it up for adoption with the man having no say at all. The child can actually be adopted before the man even knows!

Just loving the friendly discussion by the way, we may not agree but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t meet you lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"You can wear a condom and still make a child. I'm saying the man's mental health, financial situation and other things aren't aren't taken into account. I'm debating this just to get more opinions btw but here is my honest opinion - protection from pregnancy should be more of a womans responsibility considering the man has in put when she is pregnant. If I could get pregnant I'd never have unprotected sex again haha

Responsibilities lay on both sides my friend.. the woman may carry the baby but that don't mean ages to be in full control of your little swimmers .. protection from pregnancy should be on either end! Mistakes happen also.. be a better man and be there for the child ! If you don't have an income then try support the mother of the child in other ways. If you don't have an income then go get a better job. Life isn't always smooth!"

Exactly life throws different things at people

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Some interesting reading

So im 19 its 1994. mad about a guy i know sleep together use a condom and im on the pill. However it seems the condom burst now the guy didnt tell me but a week later im feeling like crap and 4 wks to the day i do a test and wahey im pregnant. The guys reaction "its not mine". Well sorry but it is I havent been with anyone else. So off he toddles and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. So its 1994 - option 1 abortion ok off to england on a boat but alas that doesnt work becayse joys of a small town. Everyone knows your pregnant. Option 2 - adoption not a choice.

So lets jump forward 23 yrs later and here i am still the sole provider for my son. No contact whatsoever from his dad at any stage over last 23yrs. Who i may say has fathered 5 more kids.

So at 19 my financial situation - thank god for my parents. I didnt have any choice for financial abortion. Should a guy have a choice first off it takes two end of story and yes both parties should take responsibility for contraception. The amount of guys over the years i have seen or heard say "oh i dont like the feel of a condom". Seriously lads cop on never mind stds.

So now baby is born should the father share responsibility whether he wants a kid or not yes i personally think they should. Its a child a part of you and believe it or not it will be the best thing that happens to you as a person. My son and i have talked about what happened. And his answer any guy that walks away from a child is not a man simples.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some interesting reading

So im 19 its 1994. mad about a guy i know sleep together use a condom and im on the pill. However it seems the condom burst now the guy didnt tell me but a week later im feeling like crap and 4 wks to the day i do a test and wahey im pregnant. The guys reaction "its not mine". Well sorry but it is I havent been with anyone else. So off he toddles and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. So its 1994 - option 1 abortion ok off to england on a boat but alas that doesnt work becayse joys of a small town. Everyone knows your pregnant. Option 2 - adoption not a choice.

So lets jump forward 23 yrs later and here i am still the sole provider for my son. No contact whatsoever from his dad at any stage over last 23yrs. Who i may say has fathered 5 more kids.

So at 19 my financial situation - thank god for my parents. I didnt have any choice for financial abortion. Should a guy have a choice first off it takes two end of story and yes both parties should take responsibility for contraception. The amount of guys over the years i have seen or heard say "oh i dont like the feel of a condom". Seriously lads cop on never mind stds.

So now baby is born should the father share responsibility whether he wants a kid or not yes i personally think they should. Its a child a part of you and believe it or not it will be the best thing that happens to you as a person. My son and i have talked about what happened. And his answer any guy that walks away from a child is not a man simples.

"

Wow.. unreal story. I can not stand the fact a guy would walk away. It doesn't seem natural at all. By the sounds of it you've done a great job raising your child.. hats off to you. Not all men are that way but some are and it's horrible..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some interesting reading

So im 19 its 1994. mad about a guy i know sleep together use a condom and im on the pill. However it seems the condom burst now the guy didnt tell me but a week later im feeling like crap and 4 wks to the day i do a test and wahey im pregnant. The guys reaction "its not mine". Well sorry but it is I havent been with anyone else. So off he toddles and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. So its 1994 - option 1 abortion ok off to england on a boat but alas that doesnt work becayse joys of a small town. Everyone knows your pregnant. Option 2 - adoption not a choice.

So lets jump forward 23 yrs later and here i am still the sole provider for my son. No contact whatsoever from his dad at any stage over last 23yrs. Who i may say has fathered 5 more kids.

So at 19 my financial situation - thank god for my parents. I didnt have any choice for financial abortion. Should a guy have a choice first off it takes two end of story and yes both parties should take responsibility for contraception. The amount of guys over the years i have seen or heard say "oh i dont like the feel of a condom". Seriously lads cop on never mind stds.

So now baby is born should the father share responsibility whether he wants a kid or not yes i personally think they should. Its a child a part of you and believe it or not it will be the best thing that happens to you as a person. My son and i have talked about what happened. And his answer any guy that walks away from a child is not a man simples.

Wow.. unreal story. I can not stand the fact a guy would walk away. It doesn't seem natural at all. By the sounds of it you've done a great job raising your child.. hats off to you. Not all men are that way but some are and it's horrible.. "

Thanks he is a fine young man even if he drives me daft at times lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some interesting reading

So im 19 its 1994. mad about a guy i know sleep together use a condom and im on the pill. However it seems the condom burst now the guy didnt tell me but a week later im feeling like crap and 4 wks to the day i do a test and wahey im pregnant. The guys reaction "its not mine". Well sorry but it is I havent been with anyone else. So off he toddles and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. So its 1994 - option 1 abortion ok off to england on a boat but alas that doesnt work becayse joys of a small town. Everyone knows your pregnant. Option 2 - adoption not a choice.

So lets jump forward 23 yrs later and here i am still the sole provider for my son. No contact whatsoever from his dad at any stage over last 23yrs. Who i may say has fathered 5 more kids.

So at 19 my financial situation - thank god for my parents. I didnt have any choice for financial abortion. Should a guy have a choice first off it takes two end of story and yes both parties should take responsibility for contraception. The amount of guys over the years i have seen or heard say "oh i dont like the feel of a condom". Seriously lads cop on never mind stds.

So now baby is born should the father share responsibility whether he wants a kid or not yes i personally think they should. Its a child a part of you and believe it or not it will be the best thing that happens to you as a person. My son and i have talked about what happened. And his answer any guy that walks away from a child is not a man simples.

Wow.. unreal story. I can not stand the fact a guy would walk away. It doesn't seem natural at all. By the sounds of it you've done a great job raising your child.. hats off to you. Not all men are that way but some are and it's horrible..

Thanks he is a fine young man even if he drives me daft at times lol"

But that's what kids are for... hahaha they'll drive you nuts fab forums are great for escaping from being a parent sometimes ha

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By *vpamelaTV/TS  over a year ago

kinkville

The only conclusion I can make from this thread is to buy my son a fembot (€6000) for sex till he gets married. Bargin!!!

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By *oserMan  over a year ago

where the wild roses grow


"This is an interesting discussion!

Contraception should always be used when there is no desire for a child but let's say for instance this doesn't work (condoms break etc).

Women have a bunch of contraceptive options, men have condoms or vacectomy.

If a woman gets pregnant she has ALL of the rights and ALL of the options. She can abort even if the man is desperate to be a father and he is willing to raise the child alone. She can keep the child even if the father wants no part of this (he still has to pay). A woman can have the baby and give it up for adoption without the permission of the man, without even informing him. A woman can move away, have the child and say NOTHING to the man, keeping him out of the childs life completely.

The man has no options.

As a woman I truly believe that if men had the right to sign away all rights to the baby, financially and otherwise that the rates of abortion would simply skyrocket.

Us women have more rights and more options compared to men who have essentialy none as well as more ways to prevent pregnancy. Maybe it's time we took more responsability?"

Couldn't have said it better

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By *BelfastGuyMan  over a year ago

Belfast

If it's your kids its your responsibility. Family family after all

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By *oserMan  over a year ago

where the wild roses grow

By the way Excellent thread OP.

its nice to see fabbers discuss a topic without getting personal for a change

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam

What about a situation where a woman set's out to trap a guy by getting pregnant?

Should he have the right to walk away in this situation???

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What about a situation where a woman set's out to trap a guy by getting pregnant?

Should he have the right to walk away in this situation???"

How do you prove she was out to trap him?

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam


"What about a situation where a woman set's out to trap a guy by getting pregnant?

Should he have the right to walk away in this situation???

How do you prove she was out to trap him?"

If she says she was using contraception but wasn't.

I'm just asking do people think a man has the right to walk away then.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"What about a situation where a woman set's out to trap a guy by getting pregnant?

Should he have the right to walk away in this situation???

How do you prove she was out to trap him?

If she says she was using contraception but wasn't.

I'm just asking do people think a man has the right to walk away then."

Yes probably but I guess thats my point - try proving it - no contraception is 100% ?

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam


"What about a situation where a woman set's out to trap a guy by getting pregnant?

Should he have the right to walk away in this situation???

How do you prove she was out to trap him?

If she says she was using contraception but wasn't.

I'm just asking do people think a man has the right to walk away then.

Yes probably but I guess thats my point - try proving it - no contraception is 100% ?"

If she told she was on the pill and you later discovered that she had stopped getting her prescription for her contraceptive pill.

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

——————

There have been cases where women have stolen sperm from condoms to get pregnant, this has been proven in court but the guy still has to pay child support.

There was that case in America where it was proved that the guy wasn’t the father but was still ordered to pay child support.

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By *orguyMan  over a year ago

Tuam


"——————

There have been cases where women have stolen sperm from condoms to get pregnant, this has been proven in court but the guy still has to pay child support.

There was that case in America where it was proved that the guy wasn’t the father but was still ordered to pay child support."

That's bizarre having to support another guy's child.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"——————

There have been cases where women have stolen sperm from condoms to get pregnant, this has been proven in court but the guy still has to pay child support.

There was that case in America where it was proved that the guy wasn’t the father but was still ordered to pay child support.

That's bizarre having to support another guy's child."

Plenty of men doing it without knowing, I'd imagine

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london


"I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion? "

I think you have worded your point very delicately ? I also would like to know is this only a concept ? Iv never heard of this before ...... it’s a very thought provoking case .

In the case where two people convent to sex with the intention of not getting pregnant ...... a unplanned event happens ..... the male states he will not contribute and wants no part , if a lay could act upon this he would be free of future responsibilities if the woman chose to continue till birth .

This argument makes equal and fare since ..... the engaged in the act for pleasure ,... not for a child .

If the world continues and evolves as it is I have no doubt this will become a reality .

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By *he big dogMan  over a year ago

dublin

Found this to probably be the best form post to date people got to speak there mind and gave there honest thoughts without other users ripping them apart for it great work everyone

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Personally think if you dip your wick you pay for the oil. Might be a crude expression but guy has to take responsibility, the woman is making a very difficult choice either way

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london


"Personally think if you dip your wick you pay for the oil. Might be a crude expression but guy has to take responsibility, the woman is making a very difficult choice either way "

Well if you study the post they suggest there is a choice ..... they did stick the wick ...... but the point is she wants the child he dorsent ..... should he be on the hook ?

Your point dorsent stack up ?

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By *hocko87Man  over a year ago

dublin

If you want to have sex lots of stuff out there not to get pregnant . I know there are women out there and they trap guys but a guy needs to go in with both eyes open .

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london


"If you want to have sex lots of stuff out there not to get pregnant . I know there are women out there and they trap guys but a guy needs to go in with both eyes open . "

I know , I was so shocked .....

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By *ohndunboyneMan  over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin

Jaysus! Can you stop quoting the whole text and just pick the last paragraph to copy and paste folks. My fingers are killing me!

Regardless, I would expect both parties to be responsible. He wears a condom and she is on the pill/coil/other. Otherwise you don't play. It's called being responsible adults. You both are taking precautions and demand that your partner in physical interaction does the same. If they don't, walk away, happy that your sexual health is still intact for the person who you may fall in love with.

If anyone fulfills both these criteria in a meet and, regardless of both using contraception, an embryo appears, it's a discussion between the both parties. If she wants to have the child, he should help out, financial at least,as much as he can. If she wants to terminate, she is perfectly within her rights to do so.

It's a minefield!

I had a girlfriend that heard I was going to break up with her. She told me she was pregnant, after condom sex. Luckily my Dad found her letter and told me to call her bluff. I broke up with her and a female friend insisted on accompanying her to Dublin for a pregnancy test, which was negative. She was trying to trap me. Not all women are sweetness and light

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london

Jesus ....... Iv been very lucky and we should day that your not trying to generalize ?

I love women ......but the original post is about economic and responsibility .

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By *ohndunboyneMan  over a year ago

Dunboyne & Dublin


"Jesus ....... Iv been very lucky and we should day that your not trying to generalize ?

I love women ......but the original post is about economic and responsibility ."

You're talking shite and fucking up my whitewash of the Ireland forums

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It’s a disgrace in Ireland how men can easily walk away from their kids whether they wanted them or not in the first place. Court orders are a waste of time Cause men still get away with murder. I can only afford €5 a week and get away with it . But back to the original point whether a man wants more kids or not if their ends up been a kid he needs to step up regardless it’s his flesh and blood . How any man or woman can walk away from their kids is beyond me. When my kids cuddle me or makes me laugh or even just been themselves makes everything worth it. I love every minute of it. Any waster dad reading this grow a sets of balls and be a daddy ur friends in the pub won’t always be there.

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london


"It’s a disgrace in Ireland how men can easily walk away from their kids whether they wanted them or not in the first place. Court orders are a waste of time Cause men still get away with murder. I can only afford €5 a week and get away with it . But back to the original point whether a man wants more kids or not if their ends up been a kid he needs to step up regardless it’s his flesh and blood . How any man or woman can walk away from their kids is beyond me. When my kids cuddle me or makes me laugh or even just been themselves makes everything worth it. I love every minute of it. Any waster dad reading this grow a sets of balls and be a daddy ur friends in the pub won’t always be there. "

But isn’t the point about a person that does not want a child

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s a disgrace in Ireland how men can easily walk away from their kids whether they wanted them or not in the first place. Court orders are a waste of time Cause men still get away with murder. I can only afford €5 a week and get away with it . But back to the original point whether a man wants more kids or not if their ends up been a kid he needs to step up regardless it’s his flesh and blood . How any man or woman can walk away from their kids is beyond me. When my kids cuddle me or makes me laugh or even just been themselves makes everything worth it. I love every minute of it. Any waster dad reading this grow a sets of balls and be a daddy ur friends in the pub won’t always be there.

But isn’t the point about a person that does not want a child"

Whether he wants the child or not that’s tough. He helped make the child and if the mother doesn’t want to get rid then that’s tough as well. Everyman knows the law and the consequences. So they should step up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion? "

Yea I get what you're saying, happens far too often, men acting like complete children not looking after their own blood, regardless of what the situation is with the child's mother that child is blood something that the man had a part in creating. In my opinion and it's a strong one on this point, is that if the man can't look after or even have contact with his own child he's lower than a snakes belly, an out and out asshole not the kids fault the parents don't get on most guys just get on with it others don't bother atall absolutely sickens me. A child's life is precious and he/she will remember everything

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"It’s a disgrace in Ireland how men can easily walk away from their kids whether they wanted them or not in the first place. Court orders are a waste of time Cause men still get away with murder. I can only afford €5 a week and get away with it . But back to the original point whether a man wants more kids or not if their ends up been a kid he needs to step up regardless it’s his flesh and blood . How any man or woman can walk away from their kids is beyond me. When my kids cuddle me or makes me laugh or even just been themselves makes everything worth it. I love every minute of it. Any waster dad reading this grow a sets of balls and be a daddy ur friends in the pub won’t always be there.

But isn’t the point about a person that does not want a child

Whether he wants the child or not that’s tough. He helped make the child and if the mother doesn’t want to get rid then that’s tough as well. Everyman knows the law and the consequences. So they should step up"

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By *auraLucyLuLuWoman  over a year ago

Dublin


"It’s a disgrace in Ireland how men can easily walk away from their kids whether they wanted them or not in the first place. Court orders are a waste of time Cause men still get away with murder. I can only afford €5 a week and get away with it . But back to the original point whether a man wants more kids or not if their ends up been a kid he needs to step up regardless it’s his flesh and blood . How any man or woman can walk away from their kids is beyond me. When my kids cuddle me or makes me laugh or even just been themselves makes everything worth it. I love every minute of it. Any waster dad reading this grow a sets of balls and be a daddy ur friends in the pub won’t always be there.

But isn’t the point about a person that does not want a child

Whether he wants the child or not that’s tough. He helped make the child and if the mother doesn’t want to get rid then that’s tough as well. Everyman knows the law and the consequences. So they should step up"

Totally agree with what you've said...

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london


"I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion?

Yea I get what you're saying, happens far too often, men acting like complete children not looking after their own blood, regardless of what the situation is with the child's mother that child is blood something that the man had a part in creating. In my opinion and it's a strong one on this point, is that if the man can't look after or even have contact with his own child he's lower than a snakes belly, an out and out asshole not the kids fault the parents don't get on most guys just get on with it others don't bother atall absolutely sickens me. A child's life is precious and he/she will remember everything "

I don’t disagree with anything you have said , but the original point relates it law and the puss ability of the following -

1. Two people have sex , with no intention of having children

2. Girl gets pregnant it’s her choice if she wants to have the baby 100% as it’s her body .

3. She decides without the farthest concert , I won’t want this it’s gone ( hard to debate this )

4. She decides I want the child , father said no this was not the plan , I want nothing to do with this .

5. If the girls goes ahead it’s her decision and her decision alone .

The question is looking at this in the cold light I say ..... one party the girl can make all the independent decisions with the backing of the law .

I’m not expressing an opinion only the facts

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"They don’t need a financial abortion, they just walk away. Simple, then never contribute to the child’s life financially or emotionally.

Unless the woman chases them down and gets a court order they just pretend the whole thing never happened.

So many men do this., I don’t know how they can. But they do. "

So very true. That's what happened to me. He done a runner and never once sent a penny.

Court order or Not, if the father doesn't want to pay he ain't gonna.

As for how and why they do it.

Cowards. That's all they are. Cowards.

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 29/01/18 00:39:44]

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london

This post is pointless unless you read the original post .

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I know the threads are usually light hearted but I'd like to know peoples opinions on this. If a woman tells a man she's pregnant and he says he doesn't want children but she goes ahead and has the child regardless should he have the right to "financial abortion" basically disconnect himself completely from the child legally. I don't think many men would want to do that. I certainly wouldn't but I just came across an article and thought it was interesting. Women don't need a guys consent for abortion and a guy can't tell a woman to have one either which is completely fair but if that woman knew that man never wanted kids and informed him early in the pregnancy that she was pregnant should he have the right to financial abortion?

Yea I get what you're saying, happens far too often, men acting like complete children not looking after their own blood, regardless of what the situation is with the child's mother that child is blood something that the man had a part in creating. In my opinion and it's a strong one on this point, is that if the man can't look after or even have contact with his own child he's lower than a snakes belly, an out and out asshole not the kids fault the parents don't get on most guys just get on with it others don't bother atall absolutely sickens me. A child's life is precious and he/she will remember everything

I don’t disagree with anything you have said , but the original point relates it law and the puss ability of the following -

1. Two people have sex , with no intention of having children

2. Girl gets pregnant it’s her choice if she wants to have the baby 100% as it’s her body .

3. She decides without the farthest concert , I won’t want this it’s gone ( hard to debate this )

4. She decides I want the child , father said no this was not the plan , I want nothing to do with this .

5. If the girls goes ahead it’s her decision and her decision alone .

The question is looking at this in the cold light I say ..... one party the girl can make all the independent decisions with the backing of the law .

I’m not expressing an opinion only the facts "

My opinion (and I think what some of the posters above are saying) is that in the case outlined above, at the end of the day the least the father (or sperm donor if he doesn't want anything to do with his offspring) can do is give financially. I don't mean cover the cost entirely of the child, even contributing €20 a week like some do. After all the mother will be sacrificing a lot more in terms of physically and emotionally and that's before she even gives birth. IMHO

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's as much a mans responsibility to protect against pregnancy, as it is the womans

If he is going to have sex and doesn't want to risk a pregnancy then he should wear a condom and not take the risk....

If he is willing to take that risk then he should also be responsible for the outcome...

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

Is a woman who has an abortion a coward?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is a woman who has an abortion a coward?"

No

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Is a woman who has an abortion a coward?"

Wow really? There was a couple on radio recently but was told that their son was diagnosed with a fatal foetal abnormality. Do you think she was a coward?

Bit of a fleeting comment. I was 19 when i got pregnant and i did consider an abortion but i didnt but cant imagine any woman that has ever really gets over it emotionally and calling them a coward well im sorry its disgraceful.

If a woman is violently attacked by someone is she a coward for having am abortion?

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

They didn't call anyone a coward. Someone said a man that walks away for a child is a coward so they asked if a woman has an abortion is she not? The question isn't what it sounds like it's a question to show hypocrisy I assume. A man can't have a child aborted so if he doesn't want it his only choice is to walk away. A woman can abort if she doesn't want it. She's definitely not a coward for it though.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"They didn't call anyone a coward. Someone said a man that walks away for a child is a coward so they asked if a woman has an abortion is she not? The question isn't what it sounds like it's a question to show hypocrisy I assume. A man can't have a child aborted so if he doesn't want it his only choice is to walk away. A woman can abort if she doesn't want it. She's definitely not a coward for it though. "

This is what I understood the comment to mean too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"They didn't call anyone a coward. Someone said a man that walks away for a child is a coward so they asked if a woman has an abortion is she not? The question isn't what it sounds like it's a question to show hypocrisy I assume. A man can't have a child aborted so if he doesn't want it his only choice is to walk away. A woman can abort if she doesn't want it. She's definitely not a coward for it though.

This is what I understood the comment to mean too. "

I would never defend a comment like that and know they didn't mean it like that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"They didn't call anyone a coward. Someone said a man that walks away for a child is a coward so they asked if a woman has an abortion is she not? The question isn't what it sounds like it's a question to show hypocrisy I assume. A man can't have a child aborted so if he doesn't want it his only choice is to walk away. A woman can abort if she doesn't want it. She's definitely not a coward for it though.

This is what I understood the comment to mean too.

I would never defend a comment like that and know they didn't mean it like that "

Fair enough but maybe if they had quoted the part where a man is called a coward would understand but they just made comment .

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown

My point was that a woman who wants nothing to do with a child isn’t a coward for aborting it but a man who doesn’t want anything to do with the child is a coward? How is this in any way fair?

I think that neither is a coward, an unplanned pregnancy is exactly that and can be crippling financially to either party and can also ruin the career prospects of either party. The main difference is that once the pregnancy is there FOR WHATEVER REASON the only person with a choice is a woman.

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By *ortadowncplCouple  over a year ago

Portadown


"

Fair enough but maybe if they had quoted the part where a man is called a coward would understand but they just made comment . "

Thought I had quoted the person calling the man who walks away a coward, my mistake!

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of


"My point was that a woman who wants nothing to do with a child isn’t a coward for aborting it but a man who doesn’t want anything to do with the child is a coward? How is this in any way fair?

I think that neither is a coward, an unplanned pregnancy is exactly that and can be crippling financially to either party and can also ruin the career prospects of either party. The main difference is that once the pregnancy is there FOR WHATEVER REASON the only person with a choice is a woman."

The reason is simply that the baby is in the woman's womb and not in the man's.

Now I'm not saying the situation as it is, is fair but as far as I know there's no country in the world that has such thing as a financial abortion in place as it has too many pitfalls. Until a fairer solution is found, the law protects the woman and the child. Wrap up lads!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My point was that a woman who wants nothing to do with a child isn’t a coward for aborting it but a man who doesn’t want anything to do with the child is a coward? How is this in any way fair?

I think that neither is a coward, an unplanned pregnancy is exactly that and can be crippling financially to either party and can also ruin the career prospects of either party. The main difference is that once the pregnancy is there FOR WHATEVER REASON the only person with a choice is a woman."

A woman cannot just walk away from an unplanned pregnancy, they either choose to abort, which is at the very least emotionally scarring or carry that child to term, emotionally and physically scarring and for some people life threatening. Its not like getting rid of a headache we're talking about

Anyway, I gave my opinion further up so I'll shut up now

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By *he big dogMan  over a year ago

dublin

I'm pretty sure most people are missing the point that is trying to be made here a women had the choise weather to keep it or not weather the man agrees or disagrees if she wants to keep it he has no say if she wants to get rid of it he has no say if she wants to put it up for adoption he also has no say the only eay he has a say over anything is weather his name is on the birth cert of the child if he isn't then every right he had to that child is gone just as fast as she could leave the country with the child and never return

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By *oghunter33Woman  over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

One could argue, a woman hasn't a choice in this country either...

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By *isdirtygirlWoman  over a year ago

Dublin


"I'm pretty sure most people are missing the point that is trying to be made here a women had the choise weather to keep it or not weather the man agrees or disagrees if she wants to keep it he has no say if she wants to get rid of it he has no say if she wants to put it up for adoption he also has no say the only eay he has a say over anything is weather his name is on the birth cert of the child if he isn't then every right he had to that child is gone just as fast as she could leave the country with the child and never return "

You should read the law on the Provision of Children and Relationships Act 2015 ,that was amended in January 2016. Rights of single/ non married dads were amended into law and it makes for interesting reading.

It gives automatic guardianship to the father provided he was living with the mother for 12 consecutive months and 3 months after a childs birth.

The father is entitled to paternity leave and paternity pay for 2 weeks after the childs birth.

For parents of the child who didnt/dont live together, a Statutory Declaration can be made in the Civil Registration Office on registration of the childs birth.

A residence order can be placed on the child preventing the mother from removing the child from the country for no longer than 28 days. Any longer than 28 days,consent of the father is needed.

So dads single/ non married actually do have a choice. Theyre being given a choice to be part of their childs life. Ive only highlighted a few amendments but there are more like custody rights, maintenance and access/alienating a father from his child.

These men should step up and fight for their rights and for their child. It can only benefit the child having 2 loving parents, even if theyre not in a relationship or living together.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Misdirtygirl, I love your forum posts, they're always so informative.

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By *oserMan  over a year ago

where the wild roses grow


"I'm pretty sure most people are missing the point that is trying to be made here a women had the choise weather to keep it or not weather the man agrees or disagrees if she wants to keep it he has no say if she wants to get rid of it he has no say if she wants to put it up for adoption he also has no say the only eay he has a say over anything is weather his name is on the birth cert of the child if he isn't then every right he had to that child is gone just as fast as she could leave the country with the child and never return

You should read the law on the Provision of Children and Relationships Act 2015 ,that was amended in January 2016. Rights of single/ non married dads were amended into law and it makes for interesting reading.

It gives automatic guardianship to the father provided he was living with the mother for 12 consecutive months and 3 months after a childs birth.

The father is entitled to paternity leave and paternity pay for 2 weeks after the childs birth.

For parents of the child who didnt/dont live together, a Statutory Declaration can be made in the Civil Registration Office on registration of the childs birth.

A residence order can be placed on the child preventing the mother from removing the child from the country for no longer than 28 days. Any longer than 28 days,consent of the father is needed.

So dads single/ non married actually do have a choice. Theyre being given a choice to be part of their childs life. Ive only highlighted a few amendments but there are more like custody rights, maintenance and access/alienating a father from his child.

These men should step up and fight for their rights and for their child. It can only benefit the child having 2 loving parents, even if theyre not in a relationship or living together. "

Ah but thats only if you want the right to be part of a childs life.

Thats not the OPs question

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By *isdirtygirlWoman  over a year ago

Dublin


"I'm pretty sure most people are missing the point that is trying to be made here a women had the choise weather to keep it or not weather the man agrees or disagrees if she wants to keep it he has no say if she wants to get rid of it he has no say if she wants to put it up for adoption he also has no say the only eay he has a say over anything is weather his name is on the birth cert of the child if he isn't then every right he had to that child is gone just as fast as she could leave the country with the child and never return

You should read the law on the Provision of Children and Relationships Act 2015 ,that was amended in January 2016. Rights of single/ non married dads were amended into law and it makes for interesting reading.

It gives automatic guardianship to the father provided he was living with the mother for 12 consecutive months and 3 months after a childs birth.

The father is entitled to paternity leave and paternity pay for 2 weeks after the childs birth.

For parents of the child who didnt/dont live together, a Statutory Declaration can be made in the Civil Registration Office on registration of the childs birth.

A residence order can be placed on the child preventing the mother from removing the child from the country for no longer than 28 days. Any longer than 28 days,consent of the father is needed.

So dads single/ non married actually do have a choice. Theyre being given a choice to be part of their childs life. Ive only highlighted a few amendments but there are more like custody rights, maintenance and access/alienating a father from his child.

These men should step up and fight for their rights and for their child. It can only benefit the child having 2 loving parents, even if theyre not in a relationship or living together.

Ah but thats only if you want the right to be part of a childs life.

Thats not the OPs question"

I get that Yoss but this thread has gone off in so many directions, i felt i had to throw the info here to inform those dads that want their kids, that all is not lost.

Ill still stand by what i said up further on the thread. Any dad who doesnt care and support his child emotionally or financially is a deadbeat in my eyes.Whether he wanted the child or not.The child didnt ask to be born.

In a few years we ll have a crisis of crossbreeding with step sisters having sex with step brothers as theyre unaware they both share the same dad. Sad to say but it really will be a question of "Whos Your Daddy'! But thats for another day.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

But what's the difference between a woman who has an abortion because she's not ready for a baby and a man that is not ready for baby but can't get an abortion? One gets to decide and the other doesn't. How is it fair? I know a woman carries the child but why can't a man say he's not ready for a baby? I'm not saying men don't just do that anyway but legally they're not allowed to do it.

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town


"But what's the difference between a woman who has an abortion because she's not ready for a baby and a man that is not ready for baby but can't get an abortion? One gets to decide and the other doesn't. How is it fair? I know a woman carries the child but why can't a man say he's not ready for a baby? I'm not saying men don't just do that anyway but legally they're not allowed to do it. "
what do you think should happen men have a right in the decision if the pregnancy should continue one be in favour the other not so what do you think happens or should happen then?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"But what's the difference between a woman who has an abortion because she's not ready for a baby and a man that is not ready for baby but can't get an abortion? One gets to decide and the other doesn't. How is it fair? I know a woman carries the child but why can't a man say he's not ready for a baby? I'm not saying men don't just do that anyway but legally they're not allowed to do it. "

Because if a man says he's not ready for a baby he can walk away perfectly legally. He'll only be asked to contribute to a child he didn't want if the woman pursues him for that. I think he only breaks the law if a court has ordered him to pay and he then doesn't, but i might be wrong on that.

If a woman has to have an abortion, in most cases there will be an awful lot of soul searching and possibly emotional fall out, that she will probably feel for the rest of her life. It's not an equal argument.

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By *oserMan  over a year ago

where the wild roses grow


"But what's the difference between a woman who has an abortion because she's not ready for a baby and a man that is not ready for baby but can't get an abortion? One gets to decide and the other doesn't. How is it fair? I know a woman carries the child but why can't a man say he's not ready for a baby? I'm not saying men don't just do that anyway but legally they're not allowed to do it. what do you think should happen men have a right in the decision if the pregnancy should continue one be in favour the other not so what do you think happens or should happen then? "

Hes asking is financial abortion the answer

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By *etmebeurfantasyWoman  over a year ago

My town


"But what's the difference between a woman who has an abortion because she's not ready for a baby and a man that is not ready for baby but can't get an abortion? One gets to decide and the other doesn't. How is it fair? I know a woman carries the child but why can't a man say he's not ready for a baby? I'm not saying men don't just do that anyway but legally they're not allowed to do it. what do you think should happen men have a right in the decision if the pregnancy should continue one be in favour the other not so what do you think happens or should happen then?

Hes asking is financial abortion the answer"

I know that yosser .

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I doubt men don't have serious feelings when their kid is aborted though. Some might not but we're acting as if men don't have feelings here. It might not be the same level because they're not carrying a child but I don't think men are happy as Larry when they ask a woman to have an abortion.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Both adults should know sex can lead to pregnancy.

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan  over a year ago

Tipperary

_ontbesillywrapyourwilly!!! even double wrap it and another layer of cling film

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By *z2goTV/TS  over a year ago

london


"I'm pretty sure most people are missing the point that is trying to be made here a women had the choise weather to keep it or not weather the man agrees or disagrees if she wants to keep it he has no say if she wants to get rid of it he has no say if she wants to put it up for adoption he also has no say the only eay he has a say over anything is weather his name is on the birth cert of the child if he isn't then every right he had to that child is gone just as fast as she could leave the country with the child and never return

You should read the law on the Provision of Children and Relationships Act 2015 ,that was amended in January 2016. Rights of single/ non married dads were amended into law and it makes for interesting reading.

It gives automatic guardianship to the father provided he was living with the mother for 12 consecutive months and 3 months after a childs birth.

The father is entitled to paternity leave and paternity pay for 2 weeks after the childs birth.

For parents of the child who didnt/dont live together, a Statutory Declaration can be made in the Civil Registration Office on registration of the childs birth.

A residence order can be placed on the child preventing the mother from removing the child from the country for no longer than 28 days. Any longer than 28 days,consent of the father is needed.

So dads single/ non married actually do have a choice. Theyre being given a choice to be part of their childs life. Ive only highlighted a few amendments but there are more like custody rights, maintenance and access/alienating a father from his child.

These men should step up and fight for their rights and for their child. It can only benefit the child having 2 loving parents, even if theyre not in a relationship or living together. "

That’s a lot of information I never knew and bet a lot of people didn’t know . Thank you .

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