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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A lot of the female profiles here have that they enjoy S&M or BDSM but when I contact them, within a few mails, it’s clear to see that they either are not into it or just put it on their profiles not realising what it is. Probably have watched Fifty Shades and thought it was a good idea in their heads but in reality, it’s not what they thought it was. |
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By *acy69Woman
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"A lot of the female profiles here have that they enjoy S&M or BDSM but when I contact them, within a few mails, it’s clear to see that they either are not into it or just put it on their profiles not realising what it is. Probably have watched Fifty Shades and thought it was a good idea in their heads but in reality, it’s not what they thought it was. "
Some Men or want to be Doms do not realise the time and effort required to be in the lifestyle... they are too lazy or egar for their own gain (pleasures) to realise the lifestyle is all about the woman's body and pleasure and in return the man/Sir get his pleasure |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A lot of the female profiles here have that they enjoy S&M or BDSM but when I contact them, within a few mails, it’s clear to see that they either are not into it or just put it on their profiles not realising what it is. Probably have watched Fifty Shades and thought it was a good idea in their heads but in reality, it’s not what they thought it was.
Some Men or want to be Doms do not realise the time and effort required to be in the lifestyle... they are too lazy or egar for their own gain (pleasures) to realise the lifestyle is all about the woman's body and pleasure and in return the man/Sir get his pleasure"
I fully agree with you. |
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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago
Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun |
Well while 50 shades is a travesty that disguises an abusive relationship with the cover of bdsm, just because someone doesn't follow your idea of S&M, doesn't mean they don't know much about it.
BDSM is deeply personal and the foundation of any dynamic based on it is always trust.
You can't really trust someone after only a couple messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well while 50 shades is a travesty that disguises an abusive relationship with the cover of bdsm, just because someone doesn't follow your idea of S&M, doesn't mean they don't know much about it.
BDSM is deeply personal and the foundation of any dynamic based on it is always trust.
You can't really trust someone after only a couple messages."
That’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m fact, it doesn’t matter anymore what I meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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S&M and BDSM are very different but I wouldn't give up yet OP as you know it's a vast area and many different ladies have different limits on what they want and do  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"S&M and BDSM are very different but I wouldn't give up yet OP as you know it's a vast area and many different ladies have different limits on what they want and do "
BDSM is a broad term encompassing many things where S&M is more specific to deriving pleasure from pain |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of the female profiles here have that they enjoy S&M or BDSM but when I contact them, within a few mails, it’s clear to see that they either are not into it or just put it on their profiles not realising what it is. Probably have watched Fifty Shades and thought it was a good idea in their heads but in reality, it’s not what they thought it was. "
Honestly I don’t really thing fab is the place to find what you are looking for .
Anyone seriously into bdsm wouldn’t look for it from random meets from here .
Aside from the safety issue , building the trust and connection required just doesn’t happen with NSA .
Just my opinion on it , what doesn’t work for me might work for others.
There are other sites where you might have a better chance to find what you are loooking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A few very valid points made on the broader subject. Spicylemon nails it with saying Fab isnt the place for anyone seriously looking for bdsm experience. There are some who genuinely know what's it involves but most have little understanding or time for it. Those that do most likely are on another site mixing and learning from same minded individuals or munch groups. This isn't to say throwing in a little titillating bdsm activity in a fab meet isn't nice and fun but in reality it's little more than that but gives a bit more excitement than the general simple straight forward nsa sexual encounters many look for or experience on here.
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By *aidRXTV/TS
over a year ago
ashbourne |
"S&M and BDSM are very different but I wouldn't give up yet OP as you know it's a vast area and many different ladies have different limits on what they want and do "
100% agree.... S&M I wouldnt be into as Im not great with pain however I love B&D!!
BDSM is such a broad term and the numerous differint interest within that world are so vast.
It would be difficult to find people on fab looking for similar as this isnt the main goal of this particular forum however thats not to say you wont find someone to explore with.
That being said I would look into FL and other fetish, BDSM sites and the BDSM community to explore that particular interest!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would you still want to be a Dominant even if it meant that there would be absolutely no sex involved? If you honestly cannot separate being a dominant from the sexual aspects of the lifestyle then, perhaps your reasons for wanting to be a dominant are just a tad superficial. " Michael Makai (p25 Domination and Submition. The BDSM Relationship Handbook)
He also wrote 26 Questions You Should Ask Your Dominant.
I'd recommend this last one. It's not just for those thinking of subbing. It will help steer you towards a good partner and hopefully avoid some potentially damaging mistakes. |
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There are lots of people in the lifestyle on here. Also a lot of people on here are also on other sites.
But I agree with the op . You can usually tell in the first message... ie... make me your sub ,you can treat me like a slave.... Christ I despair. |
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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago
Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun |
"There are lots of people in the lifestyle on here. Also a lot of people on here are also on other sites.
But I agree with the op . You can usually tell in the first message... ie... make me your sub ,you can treat me like a slave.... Christ I despair. "
Exactly. "Please Domme/peg/sit/piss on me" as first messages without even a nice hello.
If you publicly identify as one of the kink crowd, you'll be as a way to experience fetishes and not as a person yourself. |
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"There are lots of people in the lifestyle on here. Also a lot of people on here are also on other sites.
But I agree with the op . You can usually tell in the first message... ie... make me your sub ,you can treat me like a slave.... Christ I despair.
Exactly. "Please Domme/peg/sit/piss on me" as first messages without even a nice hello.
If you publicly identify as one of the kink crowd, you'll be as a way to experience fetishes and not as a person yourself."
Exactly this. Some see BDSM and think you're into every aspect of it... that's so far from reality... |
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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago
Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun |
"There are lots of people in the lifestyle on here. Also a lot of people on here are also on other sites.
But I agree with the op . You can usually tell in the first message... ie... make me your sub ,you can treat me like a slave.... Christ I despair.
Exactly. "Please Domme/peg/sit/piss on me" as first messages without even a nice hello.
If you publicly identify as one of the kink crowd, you'll be as a way to experience fetishes and not as a person yourself.
Exactly this. Some see BDSM and think you're into every aspect of it... that's so far from reality... "
Definitely. Sure at least most here would be mild enough. Doubt you've gotten many requests for castration, or am I being far too naive?  |
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"There are lots of people in the lifestyle on here. Also a lot of people on here are also on other sites.
But I agree with the op . You can usually tell in the first message... ie... make me your sub ,you can treat me like a slave.... Christ I despair.
Exactly. "Please Domme/peg/sit/piss on me" as first messages without even a nice hello.
If you publicly identify as one of the kink crowd, you'll be as a way to experience fetishes and not as a person yourself.
Exactly this. Some see BDSM and think you're into every aspect of it... that's so far from reality...
Definitely. Sure at least most here would be mild enough. Doubt you've gotten many requests for castration, or am I being far too naive? "
Two so far.  |
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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago
Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun |
"There are lots of people in the lifestyle on here. Also a lot of people on here are also on other sites.
But I agree with the op . You can usually tell in the first message... ie... make me your sub ,you can treat me like a slave.... Christ I despair.
Exactly. "Please Domme/peg/sit/piss on me" as first messages without even a nice hello.
If you publicly identify as one of the kink crowd, you'll be as a way to experience fetishes and not as a person yourself.
Exactly this. Some see BDSM and think you're into every aspect of it... that's so far from reality...
Definitely. Sure at least most here would be mild enough. Doubt you've gotten many requests for castration, or am I being far too naive?
Two so far. "
Ooh, jaysus, well that's made me reconsider what I thought about fab. |
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It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session. |
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By *ts artMan
over a year ago
Londonderry |
"It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session."
Wow thank you for enlightening us with that deep insight on the whole thing |
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"It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session."
Slow day at the office  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session."
I’ll have to call bullshit on that it is actually very small minded of you .
My ex was dominant , he was never abusive and he never told me what to eat or anything of the sort
Sure there are couples in the lifestyle who operate like that but I’ve found the majority just like the extra bit of kink and have a wide variety of interests .
Which does include every thing from rough sex to slow sensual love making and anything else in between or out side of these boxes you seem to have defined .
You can not judge the whole life style on what you see in the media or from a small source |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session."
WoW....I'm grabbing the popcorn for this one  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session.WoW....I'm grabbing the popcorn for this one "
Me to, hope it has some butter in it. I am only a learner and always learning and willing to be guided in positive friendly way of course. So pop corn is good let's share x |
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By *acy69Woman
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Id concur this place is not for the professionals, its good fun but theres whole other levels of seriousness in that game.. "
And men here and women (unless already into the lifestyle) in fab are generally too lazy to work at a lifestyle... no guy on a one off deserves any woman's loyalty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's basically a load of bullshit.
It's more talking about sex than having sex. It's women who have been abused trying to normalise that abuse and build up trust inside a continually abusive relationship. It's men who can't get laid in a pub waxing lyrical about the deep connections that can happen with bdsm through being submissive and following protocol. It's bored women looking for a spark after years of laying on their back during sex.
The amount of mentally stable people who are into it, and who can not let it control their lives is actually the smallest part of it. A submissive woman who likes a rough fuck and to be told what to do by a guy who can be her best friend, but can decide what she wants for dinner etc, or a rough and tumble guy who knows what he wants, but isnt an asshole and wont hurt you, and is equally happy having a slow sensual love making session.WoW....I'm grabbing the popcorn for this one
Me to, hope it has some butter in it. I am only a learner and always learning and willing to be guided in positive friendly way of course. So pop corn is good let's share x"
I would gladly watch you and Mrs snickers share popcorn togheter....before she took out her flogger and paddle and other eh toys for ye to experiment with  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh okay lol hot lady so x"
Thank you MISSgray that I think she is,and il admitt to being biased when I say I hit the jackpot with her by my side in life......a great wife...hard working and fantastic mother and to top it all an absolute minx in the bedroom  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of the female profiles here have that they enjoy S&M or BDSM but when I contact them, within a few mails, it’s clear to see that they either are not into it or just put it on their profiles not realising what it is. Probably have watched Fifty Shades and thought it was a good idea in their heads but in reality, it’s not what they thought it was. "
i have the same problem the other way round with people claiming to into domination but they trun out to be lieing
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of the female profiles here have that they enjoy S&M or BDSM but when I contact them, within a few mails, it’s clear to see that they either are not into it or just put it on their profiles not realising what it is. Probably have watched Fifty Shades and thought it was a good idea in their heads but in reality, it’s not what they thought it was. i have the same problem the other way round with people claiming to into domination but they trun out to be lieing "
Yes or end up being totally and utterly submissive lol. I understand it must submit to learn but it is hard to find a good master to suit me x |
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