FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Siiiiiiggggh... Where am I going wrong?
Siiiiiiggggh... Where am I going wrong?
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Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??   |
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"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases?? "
Stop sending gaping foof pics with Sky remotes inserted to show depth   |
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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago
Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun |
Search the forums for feck's sake. It's been answered hundreds of times. Us lads aren't going to meet after just a few pictures of your foofoo. We need to know there's a personality behind it.
 |
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"Search the forums for feck's sake. It's been answered hundreds of times. Us lads aren't going to meet after just a few pictures of your foofoo. We need to know there's a personality behind it.
"
Instead of just an ass  |
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But is this not a sex site? Aren't you guys not just lounging around on crisp white sheets all day in your best tighty whities, with your hair perfectly gelled in place, and a cloud of Hugo Boss pervading the air, waiting for a text or call??  |
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"Unfortunately us men are not just toys to be played with my hornet women, we’re people too ya know "
Ah here now, go join PoF or Tinder if you want feelings involved. It's only sex. Surely my foof is as good as anyone else's?? It must be at least a Sony remote deep, and the gash is wide enough for 3 fingers. I mean, unless your cock isn't up to the job?? That must be it right?? You don't think your cock could take it?  |
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"Unfortunately us men are not just toys to be played with my hornet women, we’re people too ya know
Ah here now, go join PoF or Tinder if you want feelings involved. It's only sex. Surely my foof is as good as anyone else's?? It must be at least a Sony remote deep, and the gash is wide enough for 3 fingers. I mean, unless your cock isn't up to the job?? That must be it right?? You don't think your cock could take it? "
Damn! Sussed me out 
Still, not messing up my Egyptian cotton for just any old foof |
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"Im free to wank on cam....
But it eats through my data if only I had more phone credit.........."
Well I'll happily pay for your phone credit if you're going to wank for me. But if you stiff me I'll post a thread about what a dick you are (but unable to actually name you because then I'd get banned) rather than how gullible I am. Ok??? |
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"You’re just sending them to the wrong people
Send them this way for a reaction "
I was going to mail you the first 50, but I can't get past your filters... I mean really?? I'm only 13 years outside your age range. It's only a number! |
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"You’re just sending them to the wrong people
Send them this way for a reaction
I was going to mail you the first 50, but I can't get past your filters... I mean really?? I'm only 13 years outside your age range. It's only a number! "
Typical! All the crazy weirdos are outside my age range, who would have thought there were so many older than 99 |
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"To be fair OP your profile says you're not meeting and only looking for chats and party invites so maybe all those guys you send pics and messages to see you as a timewaster "
Ffs don't be making reasonable arguments. Who reads profiles anyway?? All you need to do is look at the pictures, right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"To be fair OP your profile says you're not meeting and only looking for chats and party invites so maybe all those guys you send pics and messages to see you as a timewaster
Ffs don't be making reasonable arguments. Who reads profiles anyway?? All you need to do is look at the pictures, right? "
It’s a sex site sure, no need for any chemistry, just as long as there’s cocks and pussies |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
"To be fair OP your profile says you're not meeting and only looking for chats and party invites so maybe all those guys you send pics and messages to see you as a timewaster
Ffs don't be making reasonable arguments. Who reads profiles anyway?? All you need to do is look at the pictures, right? "
Well if you took the time to read the profiles, and the do's and dont's then maybe you'd get somewhere.
Keep your head up and keep posting on the forums. Let the lads know you're more than just a fanny. |
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"To be fair OP your profile says you're not meeting and only looking for chats and party invites so maybe all those guys you send pics and messages to see you as a timewaster
Ffs don't be making reasonable arguments. Who reads profiles anyway?? All you need to do is look at the pictures, right?
Well if you took the time to read the profiles, and the do's and dont's then maybe you'd get somewhere.
Keep your head up and keep posting on the forums. Let the lads know you're more than just a fanny."
But my fanny is the best bit!! Why would anyone be interested in my intellect or wit?? Or even if I've a face made for radio. Come on now, next you'll be telling me I need to share interests and preferences with the men I'm mailing... Don't you all want to be pegged with 13 inch strap-on in McDonald's car park? |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
"To be fair OP your profile says you're not meeting and only looking for chats and party invites so maybe all those guys you send pics and messages to see you as a timewaster
Ffs don't be making reasonable arguments. Who reads profiles anyway?? All you need to do is look at the pictures, right?
Well if you took the time to read the profiles, and the do's and dont's then maybe you'd get somewhere.
Keep your head up and keep posting on the forums. Let the lads know you're more than just a fanny.
But my fanny is the best bit!! Why would anyone be interested in my intellect or wit?? Or even if I've a face made for radio. Come on now, next you'll be telling me I need to share interests and preferences with the men I'm mailing... Don't you all want to be pegged with 13 inch strap-on in McDonald's car park? "
I don't think Fab is for you.
There's a well known escort site I think would suit you more.
Google it, it shouldn't be too hard to find. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im free to wank on cam....
But it eats through my data if only I had more phone credit..........
Well I'll happily pay for your phone credit if you're going to wank for me. But if you stiff me I'll post a thread about what a dick you are (but unable to actually name you because then I'd get banned) rather than how gullible I am. Ok??? "
That sounds like a fair deal....
Now being the cautious timid creature that I am I dont give out my phone number to strangers in a website but I have a paypal account of that works for you.
I am sure a stong independant woman like yourself understands a young guy has to protect himself |
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"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases?? "
your mailing all the wrong men I’ve never had such a message |
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"To be fair OP your profile says you're not meeting and only looking for chats and party invites so maybe all those guys you send pics and messages to see you as a timewaster
Ffs don't be making reasonable arguments. Who reads profiles anyway?? All you need to do is look at the pictures, right?
Well if you took the time to read the profiles, and the do's and dont's then maybe you'd get somewhere.
Keep your head up and keep posting on the forums. Let the lads know you're more than just a fanny.
But my fanny is the best bit!! Why would anyone be interested in my intellect or wit?? Or even if I've a face made for radio. Come on now, next you'll be telling me I need to share interests and preferences with the men I'm mailing... Don't you all want to be pegged with 13 inch strap-on in McDonald's car park?
I don't think Fab is for you.
There's a well known escort site I think would suit you more.
Google it, it shouldn't be too hard to find."
How dare you. I don't need to pay for sex! I'm not desperate, I get loads of sex whenever I want. Men just throw themselves at me in the supermarket, all flirty and ripping opening packets of mikados to suggestively lick the topping while making eye contact and then I take them home with me and give them the best 3 minutes of their lives. It's just all the men on here are such uptight prudes y'know? |
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"Im free to wank on cam....
But it eats through my data if only I had more phone credit..........
Well I'll happily pay for your phone credit if you're going to wank for me. But if you stiff me I'll post a thread about what a dick you are (but unable to actually name you because then I'd get banned) rather than how gullible I am. Ok???
That sounds like a fair deal....
Now being the cautious timid creature that I am I dont give out my phone number to strangers in a website but I have a paypal account of that works for you.
I am sure a stong independant woman like yourself understands a young guy has to protect himself"
Absolutely. And while we're chatting sure I won't get suspicious when you ask me my mother's maiden name, or about my childhood pets or date of birth... All just normal chit chat right? |
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"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??
your mailing all the wrong men I’ve never had such a message "
Tbh I send so many, I can't remember who I sent them to. But hey, if you don't mind me creeping on you and jealously asking who else you're chatting to if you don't read my messages and reply to me within 5 seconds, I'm more than happy to fill your... Inbox  |
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"But is this not a sex site? Aren't you guys not just lounging around on crisp white sheets all day in your best tighty whities, with your hair perfectly gelled in place, and a cloud of Hugo Boss pervading the air, waiting for a text or call?? "
unfortunately no most are lounging on bits of crisps an biscuit crumbs, in whatever underwear can be found possibly with a stain or two, bed head hair an lynx Africa stinking the place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But is this not a sex site? Aren't you guys not just lounging around on crisp white sheets all day in your best tighty whities, with your hair perfectly gelled in place, and a cloud of Hugo Boss pervading the air, waiting for a text or call?? unfortunately no most are lounging on bits of crisps an biscuit crumbs, in whatever underwear can be found possibly with a stain or two, bed head hair an lynx Africa stinking the place "
i like you're honestly lol keeping it real lol |
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases?? "
Send me a pic of said foof and I shall advise accordingly  |
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"But is this not a sex site? Aren't you guys not just lounging around on crisp white sheets all day in your best tighty whities, with your hair perfectly gelled in place, and a cloud of Hugo Boss pervading the air, waiting for a text or call??
unfortunately no most are lounging on bits of crisps an biscuit crumbs, in whatever underwear can be found possibly with a stain or two, bed head hair an lynx Africa stinking the place "
Completely disillusioned now.. I'll just have to make do with a sad wank! |
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"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??
Send me a pic of said foof and I shall advise accordingly "
Damn filters again. Says you're not looking for single females. I'll just have to put up a status message telling you to mail me, because I'll be the exception to your preferences... Obviously |
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"You’re certainly on fire today "
Rampant cystitis from all the vigorous sex I'm having with random strangers who are conveniently not on Fab to deny ever having met me. Bag of frozen peas should sort out the burning sensation in an hour or two, then I'll be ready to go again if anyone replies to one of the 200 messages I sent today |
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??
Send me a pic of said foof and I shall advise accordingly
Damn filters again. Says you're not looking for single females. I'll just have to put up a status message telling you to mail me, because I'll be the exception to your preferences... Obviously "
Its ok l have adjusted filters,send away  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You’re certainly on fire today
Rampant cystitis from all the vigorous sex I'm having with random strangers who are conveniently not on Fab to deny ever having met me. Bag of frozen peas should sort out the burning sensation in an hour or two, then I'll be ready to go again if anyone replies to one of the 200 messages I sent today "
I hope they weren’t all bareback too |
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"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??
Send me a pic of said foof and I shall advise accordingly
Damn filters again. Says you're not looking for single females. I'll just have to put up a status message telling you to mail me, because I'll be the exception to your preferences... Obviously
Its ok l have adjusted filters,send away "
Result!! She shoots... She scores!! Be prepared for the onslaught of
'are you horny now?'
2 minutes later
'how about now?'
5 minutes later
'I can have phone sex at 6.15pm if you're horny then'
6.20pm
'where were you? I was waiting by the phone you fucking tease!'
6.21pm status message
'PlayD8 you're blocked. Learn how to treat men with respect'
|
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"You’re certainly on fire today
Rampant cystitis from all the vigorous sex I'm having with random strangers who are conveniently not on Fab to deny ever having met me. Bag of frozen peas should sort out the burning sensation in an hour or two, then I'll be ready to go again if anyone replies to one of the 200 messages I sent today
I hope they weren’t all bareback too "
Hey, it's my fantasy so if I want to imagine I barebacked them all and they were just begging for it, that's the story I'm telling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??
Send me a pic of said foof and I shall advise accordingly
Damn filters again. Says you're not looking for single females. I'll just have to put up a status message telling you to mail me, because I'll be the exception to your preferences... Obviously
Its ok l have adjusted filters,send away
Result!! She shoots... She scores!! Be prepared for the onslaught of
'are you horny now?'
2 minutes later
'how about now?'
5 minutes later
'I can have phone sex at 6.15pm if you're horny then'
6.20pm
'where were you? I was waiting by the phone you fucking tease!'
6.21pm status message
'PlayD8 you're blocked. Learn how to treat men with respect'
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"See playd8 the problem is most men here don't like to be pressured and get constant messages from desperate women , we have standards you know ? You tried before sending me constantly pics of you naked , I didn't reply means I was busy and couldn't reply next thing get a angry mail about it
Well when the first one didn't get a reply I knew the angle I'd taken the photo from must have been wrong, so I took another and sent that too, and then kept going with various other angles and distances. I knew I'd eventually get the right one and you wouldn't be able to resist me. But then I was having a wank and all the blood rushed to my foof and all sense of reason went out the window.. I wasn't really angry, just horny and frustrated, but you hadn't blocked me yet so obviously you were still interested. It's your own fault really. "
You need at least another 2 threads to get heard properly |
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"See playd8 the problem is most men here don't like to be pressured and get constant messages from desperate women , we have standards you know ? You tried before sending me constantly pics of you naked , I didn't reply means I was busy and couldn't reply next thing get a angry mail about it
Well when the first one didn't get a reply I knew the angle I'd taken the photo from must have been wrong, so I took another and sent that too, and then kept going with various other angles and distances. I knew I'd eventually get the right one and you wouldn't be able to resist me. But then I was having a wank and all the blood rushed to my foof and all sense of reason went out the window.. I wasn't really angry, just horny and frustrated, but you hadn't blocked me yet so obviously you were still interested. It's your own fault really.
You need at least another 2 threads to get heard properly "
That sounds like too much hard work. I'll just delete my profile, set up a new one and start mailing all those people who had blocked me all over again. They'll be delighted!! |
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"You’re certainly on fire today
Rampant cystitis from all the vigorous sex I'm having with random strangers who are conveniently not on Fab to deny ever having met me. Bag of frozen peas should sort out the burning sensation in an hour or two, then I'll be ready to go again if anyone replies to one of the 200 messages I sent today
I hope they weren’t all bareback too
Hey, it's my fantasy so if I want to imagine I barebacked them all and they were just begging for it, that's the story I'm telling "
I'm disgusted!!
Barebacking peas! That's a new low, even for the rampant women of Fab 
Don't you know you can catch Vegissimus from such despicable behaviour |
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"I absolutely love this thread you go girl "
Just another single gal struggling to get replies and meets... I know guys get inundated, but surely someone will give me a chance if I whinge about it long enough?  |
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"You’re certainly on fire today
Rampant cystitis from all the vigorous sex I'm having with random strangers who are conveniently not on Fab to deny ever having met me. Bag of frozen peas should sort out the burning sensation in an hour or two, then I'll be ready to go again if anyone replies to one of the 200 messages I sent today
I hope they weren’t all bareback too
Hey, it's my fantasy so if I want to imagine I barebacked them all and they were just begging for it, that's the story I'm telling
I'm disgusted!!
Barebacking peas! That's a new low, even for the rampant women of Fab
Don't you know you can catch Vegissimus from such despicable behaviour "
The peas told me they hadn't had sex in years, and usually always wear condoms... Are you telling me peas can't be trusted?  |
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"You’re certainly on fire today
Rampant cystitis from all the vigorous sex I'm having with random strangers who are conveniently not on Fab to deny ever having met me. Bag of frozen peas should sort out the burning sensation in an hour or two, then I'll be ready to go again if anyone replies to one of the 200 messages I sent today
I hope they weren’t all bareback too
Hey, it's my fantasy so if I want to imagine I barebacked them all and they were just begging for it, that's the story I'm telling
I'm disgusted!!
Barebacking peas! That's a new low, even for the rampant women of Fab
Don't you know you can catch Vegissimus from such despicable behaviour
The peas told me they hadn't had sex in years, and usually always wear condoms... Are you telling me peas can't be trusted? "
Once you get their shell off, they're filthy fuckers. Some even arrive without the shell, as if it's the norm
You have been warned |
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"But is this not a sex site? Aren't you guys not just lounging around on crisp white sheets all day in your best tighty whities, with your hair perfectly gelled in place, and a cloud of Hugo Boss pervading the air, waiting for a text or call??
unfortunately no most are lounging on bits of crisps an biscuit crumbs, in whatever underwear can be found possibly with a stain or two, bed head hair an lynx Africa stinking the place
Completely disillusioned now.. I'll just have to make do with a sad wank! "
a well god loves a trier but hates a chancer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong "
Don’t forget to include the minimum and maximum measurements that you can accommodate |
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"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong "
Stick a huge dildo in it and take a photo. Pic is worth a thousand words right? Actually, no.... stick a big can of Sanex in it, that'll show the guys that not only have you a working foof, but you use deodorant too... That's a really smooth move |
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"Sure I was only in the area had a work paid for room and what better are ye going to get on a weeknight not like you’ve a life "
Exactly!! Yet not one man I mail my room number to ever turns up such a waste |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get hundred of pussy pics a day. You gotta stand out.
I know. Its just so hard to be original Should I start sending pics of my arse instead d'ya think? "
Just remember to shave it this time ok? |
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"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong
I'm just getting the tape "
Don't forget to give it a good fingering first. Has to look like its been pounded like a jackhammer and ready to blow any second for the photo to be really offensive.. I mean effective |
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"I get hundred of pussy pics a day. You gotta stand out.
I know. Its just so hard to be original Should I start sending pics of my arse instead d'ya think?
Just remember to shave it this time ok? "
I can't reach. Wanna shave it for me? Heh Heh Heh |
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By *oserMan
over a year ago
where the wild roses grow |
"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases??
Send me a pic of said foof and I shall advise accordingly
Damn filters again. Says you're not looking for single females. I'll just have to put up a status message telling you to mail me, because I'll be the exception to your preferences... Obviously
Its ok l have adjusted filters,send away
Result!! She shoots... She scores!! Be prepared for the onslaught of
'are you horny now?'
2 minutes later
'how about now?'
5 minutes later
'I can have phone sex at 6.15pm if you're horny then'
6.20pm
'where were you? I was waiting by the phone you fucking tease!'
6.21pm status message
'PlayD8 you're blocked. Learn how to treat men with respect'
"
Can't be having phone sex so soon after the Angela's
Thats disgusting! Blocked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I get hundred of pussy pics a day. You gotta stand out.
I know. Its just so hard to be original Should I start sending pics of my arse instead d'ya think?
Just remember to shave it this time ok?
I can't reach. Wanna shave it for me? Heh Heh Heh "
Sigh, ok, for the greater good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I bet you are the type that sends 20 abusive messages after you have sent lots of 1 liners like "hi wanna fuck, am in your area" then you see they just got verified by someone else after all your effort and when you get blocked you send 20 more under another username till you get bored move on to the next victim
My poor sides are splitting, this is gold |
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"I bet you are the type that sends 20 abusive messages after you have sent lots of 1 liners like "hi wanna fuck, am in your area" then you see they just got verified by someone else after all your effort and when you get blocked you send 20 more under another username till you get bored move on to the next victim
My poor sides are splitting, this is gold "
Well yeah... Duhhh! I asked first. That other bitch should have waited for my sloppy seconds. Doesn't matter that she already knows him and they have all the same interests and shit like that, I was only in the area for 1 night and just know I would have given him the best 3 minutes he'd ever had without having ever even spoken to him. Anyway he's fat and ugly and a prude... I didn't really want to fuck him anyway.. So there!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes how dare she when your so self entitled after they made the mistake of responding to your 1st message....like that's a contract to fuck everyone knows that |
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"Yes how dare she when your so self entitled after they made the mistake of responding to your 1st message....like that's a contract to fuck everyone knows that "
Damn straight!! You can't just take a bite out of the sandwich and decide you don't like it... You gotta eat the whole thing, even if it makes you gag. |
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"I have to see this don't pass me send me foof so I can see what there turning down "
More bloody filters... Says I must be verified to contact you. Well I would be verified by now if someone would just give me a chance. Its catch 22 here. Thought this was supposed to be a liberated place? I get more cock on Facebook. All the men here are just stuck up their own holes. |
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"I have to see this don't pass me send me foof so I can see what there turning down
More bloody filters... Says I must be verified to contact you. Well I would be verified by now if someone would just give me a chance. Its catch 22 here. Thought this was supposed to be a liberated place? I get more cock on Facebook. All the men here are just stuck up their own holes. "
Well u have 56 veri on your profile maybe it's time u took a rest from fab if u can't get any new meets on here |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Magherafelt |
This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us. |
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"I have to see this don't pass me send me foof so I can see what there turning down
More bloody filters... Says I must be verified to contact you. Well I would be verified by now if someone would just give me a chance. Its catch 22 here. Thought this was supposed to be a liberated place? I get more cock on Facebook. All the men here are just stuck up their own holes.
Well u have 56 veri on your profile maybe it's time u took a rest from fab if u can't get any new meets on here "
Ahhhh you went and spoiled it!! 
Still... Fair play... Everyone kept it going much longer than I expected. Thanks for being such good sports! |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us."
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right? |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Magherafelt |
"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right? "
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet. |
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"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong
Don’t forget to include the minimum and maximum measurements that you can accommodate "
Half these silly men seem to think I should be able to accommodate a beer can Or at least that’s what they seem to be implying by setting a can next to their Willy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong
Don’t forget to include the minimum and maximum measurements that you can accommodate
Half these silly men seem to think I should be able to accommodate a beer can Or at least that’s what they seem to be implying by setting a can next to their Willy "
Or maybe they’re implying that they get as hard as can? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong
Don’t forget to include the minimum and maximum measurements that you can accommodate
Half these silly men seem to think I should be able to accommodate a beer can Or at least that’s what they seem to be implying by setting a can next to their Willy "
Not at all, they just want to make sure you have sufficient cleavage to put the beer can in while fucking you just in the off chance they get carried away and need to put the beer can down and use both hands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong
Don’t forget to include the minimum and maximum measurements that you can accommodate
Half these silly men seem to think I should be able to accommodate a beer can Or at least that’s what they seem to be implying by setting a can next to their Willy "
damn let me delete my pic with a beer can |
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"Can we give PlayD8 an award for best forum post of the year?!"
Fully agree.
If she wins, we all get to pat ourselves in the back for helping her win at the forums, if not in the shag stakes
Poor woman can't get a roide for luv nor money, despite her best efforts
To the nunnery with ya PlayD8! If Fab won't have you, it's the only place for a lickin'  |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right?
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet. "
Give it your best shot he says...
We'll get you a meet he says...
Then 27 foof pics with various vegetables artfully inserted later he mails me back to tell me I'm a vile human being and he's rocking and crying in the corner I tried asking him which one was the last straw, but I'm blocked now!! You guys are such delicate flowers!  |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right?
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet.
Give it your best shot he says...
We'll get you a meet he says...
Then 27 foof pics with various vegetables artfully inserted later he mails me back to tell me I'm a vile human being and he's rocking and crying in the corner I tried asking him which one was the last straw, but I'm blocked now!! You guys are such delicate flowers! "
For me it was the aubergine.
I mean a Roku remote, I'm feeling happy. A Sky remote, ok I'll have to use foreplay. A courgette, ah here, oral and fingering as well, is she worth it? But the aubergine you used! That's your 5 a day right there and you don't need sausage |
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"I hadn’t thought to show my foofs measurements ...
Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong
Don’t forget to include the minimum and maximum measurements that you can accommodate
Half these silly men seem to think I should be able to accommodate a beer can Or at least that’s what they seem to be implying by setting a can next to their Willy "
Damn woman... You mean you can't carry a six-pack in yours like a kangaroo pouch?? I mean... I'm not one to brag, but my foof is just massive. Guys look at it all the time and say they'll never be able to satisfy me. When I'm in the changing rooms at the gym... I see the other girls taking a sneaky peek at my hangar doors... I see that envy in their eyes. It's a mixed blessing though.. Its difficult to walk with this monster in my pants! |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right?
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet.
Give it your best shot he says...
We'll get you a meet he says...
Then 27 foof pics with various vegetables artfully inserted later he mails me back to tell me I'm a vile human being and he's rocking and crying in the corner I tried asking him which one was the last straw, but I'm blocked now!! You guys are such delicate flowers!
For me it was the aubergine.
I mean a Roku remote, I'm feeling happy. A Sky remote, ok I'll have to use foreplay. A courgette, ah here, oral and fingering as well, is she worth it? But the aubergine you used! That's your 5 a day right there and you don't need sausage "
Really?? The Aubergine?? Did I not send you the Watermelon one? |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right?
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet.
Give it your best shot he says...
We'll get you a meet he says...
Then 27 foof pics with various vegetables artfully inserted later he mails me back to tell me I'm a vile human being and he's rocking and crying in the corner I tried asking him which one was the last straw, but I'm blocked now!! You guys are such delicate flowers!
For me it was the aubergine.
I mean a Roku remote, I'm feeling happy. A Sky remote, ok I'll have to use foreplay. A courgette, ah here, oral and fingering as well, is she worth it? But the aubergine you used! That's your 5 a day right there and you don't need sausage
Really?? The Aubergine?? Did I not send you the Watermelon one? "
Damn woman!
You is gonna be like an AK47 firing out those pips |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right?
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet.
Give it your best shot he says...
We'll get you a meet he says...
Then 27 foof pics with various vegetables artfully inserted later he mails me back to tell me I'm a vile human being and he's rocking and crying in the corner I tried asking him which one was the last straw, but I'm blocked now!! You guys are such delicate flowers!
For me it was the aubergine.
I mean a Roku remote, I'm feeling happy. A Sky remote, ok I'll have to use foreplay. A courgette, ah here, oral and fingering as well, is she worth it? But the aubergine you used! That's your 5 a day right there and you don't need sausage
Really?? The Aubergine?? Did I not send you the Watermelon one?
Damn woman!
You is gonna be like an AK47 firing out those pips "
Yeah... But think of those tribute pics!! You know you want one... |
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"This might be mentioned already but reading men profiles also helps.
We can really tell when a women has read what we wrote and tailored their message. Heck, even with a blank profile, a good women can read us.
I do try to read... But jeez some of you write War and Peace. I just skip to the bottom to see what word I should put in the subject line of my message. Yours is Scaramouche right?
No, but I can see why you a struggling now.
Out of altruism, I'll help you and provide some guidance.
Give your best shot at my inbox and I'll offer constructive criticism. We'll work together to get you a meet.
Give it your best shot he says...
We'll get you a meet he says...
Then 27 foof pics with various vegetables artfully inserted later he mails me back to tell me I'm a vile human being and he's rocking and crying in the corner I tried asking him which one was the last straw, but I'm blocked now!! You guys are such delicate flowers!
For me it was the aubergine.
I mean a Roku remote, I'm feeling happy. A Sky remote, ok I'll have to use foreplay. A courgette, ah here, oral and fingering as well, is she worth it? But the aubergine you used! That's your 5 a day right there and you don't need sausage
Really?? The Aubergine?? Did I not send you the Watermelon one?
Damn woman!
You is gonna be like an AK47 firing out those pips
Yeah... But think of those tribute pics!! You know you want one... "
Oh god yes! Me! Me! |
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"What you really need is to smother marmite and foof to make vagemite.
Instant attraction"
Good for hair removal is it? I pride myself on giving the old rhododendron a trim once a year, but now that I'm a bit older and the bit of grey has it looking more like a badger than a beaver, I might think about a proper pruning. I did get a reply back to a foof pic recently telling me the mullet hasn't been in since Scott married Charlene, but I've no idea what that meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What you really need is to smother marmite and foof to make vagemite.
Instant attraction
Good for hair removal is it? I pride myself on giving the old rhododendron a trim once a year, but now that I'm a bit older and the bit of grey has it looking more like a badger than a beaver, I might think about a proper pruning. I did get a reply back to a foof pic recently telling me the mullet hasn't been in since Scott married Charlene, but I've no idea what that meant. "
well im up for foof pics but i cant pm you lol |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Magherafelt |
"What you really need is to smother marmite and foof to make vagemite.
Instant attraction
Good for hair removal is it? I pride myself on giving the old rhododendron a trim once a year, but now that I'm a bit older and the bit of grey has it looking more like a badger than a beaver, I might think about a proper pruning. I did get a reply back to a foof pic recently telling me the mullet hasn't been in since Scott married Charlene, but I've no idea what that meant. "
You don’t want to know. |
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"What you really need is to smother marmite and foof to make vagemite.
Instant attraction
Good for hair removal is it? I pride myself on giving the old rhododendron a trim once a year, but now that I'm a bit older and the bit of grey has it looking more like a badger than a beaver, I might think about a proper pruning. I did get a reply back to a foof pic recently telling me the mullet hasn't been in since Scott married Charlene, but I've no idea what that meant.
well im up for foof pics but i cant pm you lol"
Send me you kik address, whatsapp, email, Snapchat, messenger, homing pigeon, cb handle and enigma cypher right away my good man!! Oh... Wait.... You can't... Ermmm get a friend to pass me a note, but don't let teacher catch you |
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"What you really need is to smother marmite and foof to make vagemite.
Instant attraction
Good for hair removal is it? I pride myself on giving the old rhododendron a trim once a year, but now that I'm a bit older and the bit of grey has it looking more like a badger than a beaver, I might think about a proper pruning. I did get a reply back to a foof pic recently telling me the mullet hasn't been in since Scott married Charlene, but I've no idea what that meant.
You don’t want to know. "
After some extensive mansplaining I'm reliably informed that it means my foof fur is well trimmed at the front and sides and but a tad on the long side in back (which of you volunteered to shave my arse again?). It wasn't quite put that way, and there was a lot of swearing involved before I was blocked. But I think the real reason he blocked me was fear of falling for me. Nothing at all to do with the constant foof pics and the 4am 'U awake? Xx U horny? Xx' messages. I know he had said 'no thanks' a couple of dozen times, but we all know that's just flirty code for 'not tonight, but maybe next week', right? |
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I'm going to have to let this one go folks and thanks for playing along. You've all been great sports.
To those who didn't realise this was an ironic thread and offered their kind services to poor likkle old minger me... Your charity and generosity knows no bounds!! Seriously.. Rewards in heaven and all that jazz... But you can stop now
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Advice desperately needed folks.
All my carefully copied and pasted 'hey sexy xxx, u on kik xxx?' messages are being deleted unread, and those gaping wide close-ups of my foof that I randomly send to any man online don't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've even tried saying that I have 'a friend' who can join us in case the guys I'm messaging would be more swayed by the thoughts of my hot, hung, fictional twenty-something Adonis who's photos I robbed from a porn site.
I mean... Like... Sometimes I get a reply? Maybe a 'lol' or a 'thanks but no', so obviously they're interested right? But when I then ask if they're horny right now and want to wank on cam I suddenly get blocked.
What am I doing wrong? Or are all these men just time-wasting foof teases?? "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would happily wank on cam any time for you just message me your kik "
She's offline busy but I will give you her kik , just don't tell anyone .
Her kik is jokesnotallget
|
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"I would happily wank on cam any time for you just message me your kik
She's offline busy but I will give you her kik , just don't tell anyone .
Her kik is jokesnotallget
"
Damn, you're a good P.A.!!
I've changed my kik though to grandcanyonfoof... Can you please have all my business cards reprinted by lunchtime? |
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"Raging.
Never got any such message. What am I doing wrong?!"
You're just too picky. I started to read that long complicated list of demands you call a profile and when I woke up several hours later with the qwerty keys stuck to the left side of my face I'd forgotten why I started looking in the first place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes all we need is just a hug
My foof gives awesome hugs! and hopefully a few kisses;-)
Isn't that why fanny flaps are called lips?? "
I don’t think so |
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"Sometimes all we need is just a hug
My foof gives awesome hugs! and hopefully a few kisses;-)
Isn't that why fanny flaps are called lips??
I don’t think so "
Are you saying you wouldn't want a big wet one planted on you?
Can someone check Pauly's pulse please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes all we need is just a hug
My foof gives awesome hugs! and hopefully a few kisses;-)
Isn't that why fanny flaps are called lips??
I don’t think so
Are you saying you wouldn't want a big wet one planted on you?
Can someone check Pauly's pulse please? "
don’t think I have a pulse this morning, too hungover |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Brilliant thread , I swear I'll never look at a bag of frozen peas the same way ever again
Ha ha ha you found it "
Hey Dobs , would have missed only for a great tip to read it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Brilliant thread , I swear I'll never look at a bag of frozen peas the same way ever again
A Birdseye view of my Green Giant? Heh Heh Heh "
There's an offer not to be refused |
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