FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > One off meets, or repeat fun?
One off meets, or repeat fun?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For me it has to be the intimacy and trust that can only be found in return meets with a special play partner, especially when kink is involved.. Thoughts? |
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I think if you want the most out of it for both parties it has to be repeat gunfire, you learn each others bodies, what they like and dislike, I've had a good few repeat meets and they get better each time.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple, we don't particularly mind. If we get on great with someone and the meet goes well, we'll be up for meeting again if they are, if they aren't, it's not going to phase us. |
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"I personally prefer repeat meets. One off can be fun but repeats are where you get to know each others likes and dislikes and you get to be more adventurous I think. "
Same as, repeat all the way cause the sex only gets better |
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Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story "
Wise words! As part of a couple we are always checking in with each other to see how we feel about things, our relationship is the priority and if either of us felt uncomfortable about a third party they would be dropped, no questions asked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story "
I've experienced the land of swing both as a single and a couple, and I'd say the dynamic is very different. As a couple the closeness and intimacy has to be between the couple, with the others they bring into their world being only walk on parts.. The minute that line is blurred then it's time to walk away, for everyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story
I've experienced the land of swing both as a single and a couple, and I'd say the dynamic is very different. As a couple the closeness and intimacy has to be between the couple, with the others they bring into their world being only walk on parts.. The minute that line is blurred then it's time to walk away, for everyone"
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Tbf she had the sense to pull back after she said it I won’t lie I felt it and said it 2. But my intentions are not to change the corse of anyone’s life here. Just have sum good fun in a respectful discrete fashion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbf she had the sense to pull back after she said it I won’t lie I felt it and said it 2. But my intentions are not to change the corse of anyone’s life here. Just have sum good fun in a respectful discrete fashion "
She should have had the sense to pull back long before that stage. Lesson learned all round hopefully, we imagine we can control our feelings, we can't, but we do have a choice whether or not to act on those feelings |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Tbf she had the sense to pull back after she said it I won’t lie I felt it and said it 2. But my intentions are not to change the corse of anyone’s life here. Just have sum good fun in a respectful discrete fashion
She should have had the sense to pull back long before that stage. Lesson learned all round hopefully, we imagine we can control our feelings, we can't, but we do have a choice whether or not to act on those feelings "
Exactly this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Omg.. Repeats are so much better.
You know how to push their buttons as time passes and trust is gained.. Makes it much more intense experience in my opinion
I have zero interest in a one nighter with a randomer
But each to their own |
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story
I've experienced the land of swing both as a single and a couple, and I'd say the dynamic is very different. As a couple the closeness and intimacy has to be between the couple, with the others they bring into their world being only walk on parts.. The minute that line is blurred then it's time to walk away, for everyone"
Unless you're polyamorous in which case, all good.
I don't really like repeat meets. I've no interest in developing intimacy with casual sex partners. If you want to know me in that way and get the A-game sex, date me. No compromises! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Prefer repeat meets when the chemistry is right and both on the same page as to the fact its fun for both. But to be fair feelings can build without it been the intention s.. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Repeats meets are the preference but life does get in the way sometimes.
I like getting to know a partner in crime enough to feel totally comfortable, share more kinks and be very familiar with the right buttons to press  |
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Had few experiences long time ago, first guy started getting jealous of me still wanting to meet others in fact stated "if I were his" I wouldnt be meeting others, that I was degrading myself. An other actually got jealous of hubby and my quality time, saying he could join or just me and him, we had loads of free time then, got texts on the phone he had to be talked to to back off! So no more reg though meet few nice guys over the years more than once, one even several times but not in a close time. Bottom line I guess one offs are better for us plus we don't meet often or party anyway.
Stacey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tbf she had the sense to pull back after she said it I won’t lie I felt it and said it 2. But my intentions are not to change the corse of anyone’s life here. Just have sum good fun in a respectful discrete fashion "
Does her partner know this? Are they still on the site?
Not very discrete to state it on a public forum! |
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"Omg.. Repeats are so much better.
You know how to push their buttons as time passes and trust is gained.. Makes it much more intense experience in my opinion
I have zero interest in a one nighter with a randomer
But each to their own"
Totally agree, repeats are better, trust built, lots of fun to be had.
I'm not into random or one nighters, I like to get to know the person and have a connection, and a good friendship comes of it too, certainly does make it more intense |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Repeat meets all the way, learning what turns each other on, the teasing and flirting between meets etc also the trust that comes with that leads to trying new things and exploring each other's kinks  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Once off is always best...spread your seed and all that. Man is not designed to be manganous. Surely all males when truthful would say the more women they can get their leg over the better."
You mean they're lying when their profile says "quality over quantity??? Who knew?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We enjoy both. We have a couple and a few singles that we play with regularly but we've also had lots of once offs. Our regulars are the ones we invite to the house and have chats with pre and post play. The once offs are the ones we meet at a sex club, have a quick chat then play, never see them again. Both have their benefits. |
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Well you have to have that first meet for potentially having regular meets  with that be said I did once have a once off but in fairness she lived in a different country,I’d defentily agree regular meets we the right person getting be better and better on every meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story
I've experienced the land of swing both as a single and a couple, and I'd say the dynamic is very different. As a couple the closeness and intimacy has to be between the couple, with the others they bring into their world being only walk on parts.. The minute that line is blurred then it's time to walk away, for everyone
Unless you're polyamorous in which case, all good.
I don't really like repeat meets. I've no interest in developing intimacy with casual sex partners. If you want to know me in that way and get the A-game sex, date me. No compromises! "
So...you don't bring your A-game sex to a meet ?...bit unfair to the guy isn't it ?...no ?..so what you're saying is you don't give 100% to a meet ?...or did l read that wrong .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Repeat meets only happen because both parties see something in each other that they want more of...only stating the obvious l know...but one HAS to be very very careful NOT to go down a road they don't want to ..which can easily happen if the lady starts to get feelings for the guy and then along the track's introduces the " L" word ,and remember what was only ment to be sex from the get go can turn into something no one bargained for ...for me , repeat meets will only happen ..IF... there's a connection between both parties ..just be careful of the " L" word... sometimes scary ... sometimes not...depends on how you both want to play ball. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Repeat meets only happen because both parties see something in each other that they want more of...only stating the obvious l know...but one HAS to be very very careful NOT to go down a road they don't want to ..which can easily happen if the lady starts to get feelings for the guy and then along the track's introduces the " L" word ,and remember what was only ment to be sex from the get go can turn into something no one bargained for ...for me , repeat meets will only happen ..IF... there's a connection between both parties ..just be careful of the " L" word... sometimes scary ... sometimes not...depends on how you both want to play ball."
So you reckon only the ladies start to get feelings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Repeat meets only happen because both parties see something in each other that they want more of...only stating the obvious l know...but one HAS to be very very careful NOT to go down a road they don't want to ..which can easily happen if the lady starts to get feelings for the guy and then along the track's introduces the " L" word ,and remember what was only ment to be sex from the get go can turn into something no one bargained for ...for me , repeat meets will only happen ..IF... there's a connection between both parties ..just be careful of the " L" word... sometimes scary ... sometimes not...depends on how you both want to play ball.
So you reckon only the ladies start to get feelings "
"dont go falling in love with me now"  . OK sunshine.. I'll try my best   |
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story
I've experienced the land of swing both as a single and a couple, and I'd say the dynamic is very different. As a couple the closeness and intimacy has to be between the couple, with the others they bring into their world being only walk on parts.. The minute that line is blurred then it's time to walk away, for everyone
Unless you're polyamorous in which case, all good.
I don't really like repeat meets. I've no interest in developing intimacy with casual sex partners. If you want to know me in that way and get the A-game sex, date me. No compromises!
So...you don't bring your A-game sex to a meet ?...bit unfair to the guy isn't it ?...no ?..so what you're saying is you don't give 100% to a meet ?...or did l read that wrong .."
That's exactly what I'm saying. Much like the vast majority men on this site, I'm not here to give 100% of my time, effort and energy in exchange for a ride.
If you want the cream you gotta buy the cow. |
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"For me it has to be the intimacy and trust that can only be found in return meets with a special play partner, especially when kink is involved.. Thoughts? "
------------
It's great to explore a whole spectrum of fantasies
...as you get to know one special person more & more  either here or in vanilla life as trust builds
However, if one person has a deep yearning fantasy
that the other person doesn't get or simply can't go there...
Then one person might be better exploring his or her more intimate kink
with another... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Warning to all ! Be careful what u wish for. I met a cpl last Xmas we had a meet. There’s serious chemistry between myself and herself. So almost a year later and mutable meets. It got 2 much. The L word came out. And we now both trying to take a step back admittedly on both sides it’s tough. Snap shot it I agree with more that a once off but be careful not to overdo it. Very true and currant story
I've experienced the land of swing both as a single and a couple, and I'd say the dynamic is very different. As a couple the closeness and intimacy has to be between the couple, with the others they bring into their world being only walk on parts.. The minute that line is blurred then it's time to walk away, for everyone
Unless you're polyamorous in which case, all good.
I don't really like repeat meets. I've no interest in developing intimacy with casual sex partners. If you want to know me in that way and get the A-game sex, date me. No compromises!
So...you don't bring your A-game sex to a meet ?...bit unfair to the guy isn't it ?...no ?..so what you're saying is you don't give 100% to a meet ?...or did l read that wrong ..
That's exactly what I'm saying. Much like the vast majority men on this site, I'm not here to give 100% of my time, effort and energy in exchange for a ride.
If you want the cream you gotta buy the cow. "
.well tbh ,I'd like to think that when l'm with a lady l give 100% of my time , effort and energy ,if a lady is kind enough to give me a chance to meet her why should l give anything less...but that's just my tuppence worth.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its rare to find someone you connect with but when you do....repeat meets just get better and better.
Hard to find though. That's just what I was going to say ,connection is the key to ecstasy. "
Definately x |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Some meets are not worth repeating and in order to find good regular ones you most likely will experience some once off. Only a proper meet will show if you fully click and if it's worth a repeat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some meets are not worth repeating and in order to find good regular ones you most likely will experience some once off. Only a proper meet will show if you fully click and if it's worth a repeat. "
Agree with this. Need to try a few to find the ones worth repeating with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some meets are not worth repeating and in order to find good regular ones you most likely will experience some once off. Only a proper meet will show if you fully click and if it's worth a repeat. "
Very True |
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"As a couple, we don't particularly mind. If we get on great with someone and the meet goes well, we'll be up for meeting again if they are, if they aren't, it's not going to phase us. "
Same for us ! |
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I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here.
What if you meet someone once, sparks fly and you feel like soul mates reconnecting. The sex is then amazing, even though it's your first time together, you click inside and outside the bedroom, matching each other in every kink/sensuality/ orgasm.
However, you're both married and in love with your respective partners.
What's going to happen then?
If you repeat it, it's likely to be better again but surely, if it goes that well, feels will be felt, as the young folks might say. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here.
What if you meet someone once, sparks fly and you feel like soul mates reconnecting. The sex is then amazing, even though it's your first time together, you click inside and outside the bedroom, matching each other in every kink/sensuality/ orgasm.
However, you're both married and in love with your respective partners.
What's going to happen then?
If you repeat it, it's likely to be better again but surely, if it goes that well, feels will be felt, as the young folks might say."
If you feel something will be dangerous to your marriage walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Repeat meets can sometimes be a let down... the anticipation and excitement you feel when meeting first isn't there so the adrenalin released isn't the same. Also I think you're less inhibited first time... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rarely have repeat meets for sex. I love the thrill of meeting someone for the first time, the flirting, butterflies and the lust. I think that if I'm still getting those feelings after meeting someone a few times then I'm in dangerous waters. But that just me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here.
What if you meet someone once, sparks fly and you feel like soul mates reconnecting. The sex is then amazing, even though it's your first time together, you click inside and outside the bedroom, matching each other in every kink/sensuality/ orgasm.
However, you're both married and in love with your respective partners.
What's going to happen then?
If you repeat it, it's likely to be better again but surely, if it goes that well, feels will be felt, as the young folks might say."
If you're "in love" with, and fully committed to, your partner, you will know that these "feelings" are simply a temporary euphoria sparked by the novelty and thrill of the first time. Part of the appeal of other people is that we simply do not have the shared baggage and stresses of life, work, finances, kids, extended family issues, we feel literally like a new person and a sexual being. It's easy to confuse what can be a massive ego boost with "feelings for the other party" and it can be addictive if not controlled. Once you recognise this, it's easy to see it for what it is, a temporary interlude that won't be allowed distract you from the important things in life. Knowing when to step away is crucial , and examining what might possibly be lacking in your primary relationship that is sparking such "feelings" can also be helpful. |
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A regular repeat meet is great. For the reasons outlined above. Nothing but pure, passionate sex, whens theres only attraction bringing you together
Hard to find but
Variety is also the spice of life and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Repeat meets only happen because both parties see something in each other that they want more of...only stating the obvious l know...but one HAS to be very very careful NOT to go down a road they don't want to ..which can easily happen if the lady starts to get feelings for the guy and then along the track's introduces the " L" word ,and remember what was only ment to be sex from the get go can turn into something no one bargained for ...for me , repeat meets will only happen ..IF... there's a connection between both parties ..just be careful of the " L" word... sometimes scary ... sometimes not...depends on how you both want to play ball.
So you reckon only the ladies start to get feelings "
Well I think that happening in situations does fall more on the ladies side Steph..after all ladies are more emotional beings...maybe l'm wrong but it's just what l make of it .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Repeat meets only happen because both parties see something in each other that they want more of...only stating the obvious l know...but one HAS to be very very careful NOT to go down a road they don't want to ..which can easily happen if the lady starts to get feelings for the guy and then along the track's introduces the " L" word ,and remember what was only ment to be sex from the get go can turn into something no one bargained for ...for me , repeat meets will only happen ..IF... there's a connection between both parties ..just be careful of the " L" word... sometimes scary ... sometimes not...depends on how you both want to play ball.
So you reckon only the ladies start to get feelings
"dont go falling in love with me now" . OK sunshine.. I'll try my best "
So are you saying that there was never a guy that you had feelings for ?...l'm just making the point that it can happen..that if the chemistry and connection is there between two people that had never met before .. feelings can develop ..and yes l do think that a lady is more emotional than a guy and would feel it before the guy ever would..whoever that guy is ...and yes ..l'm speaking from experience of how easily it could happen in a meet here on fab.... |
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"I'm going to throw a spanner in the works here.
What if you meet someone once, sparks fly and you feel like soul mates reconnecting. The sex is then amazing, even though it's your first time together, you click inside and outside the bedroom, matching each other in every kink/sensuality/ orgasm.
However, you're both married and in love with your respective partners.
What's going to happen then?
If you repeat it, it's likely to be better again but surely, if it goes that well, feels will be felt, as the young folks might say.
If you're "in love" with, and fully committed to, your partner, you will know that these "feelings" are simply a temporary euphoria sparked by the novelty and thrill of the first time. Part of the appeal of other people is that we simply do not have the shared baggage and stresses of life, work, finances, kids, extended family issues, we feel literally like a new person and a sexual being. It's easy to confuse what can be a massive ego boost with "feelings for the other party" and it can be addictive if not controlled. Once you recognise this, it's easy to see it for what it is, a temporary interlude that won't be allowed distract you from the important things in life. Knowing when to step away is crucial , and examining what might possibly be lacking in your primary relationship that is sparking such "feelings" can also be helpful. "
Im going to have to stop agreeing with everything you pair say but once again Spot On !! |
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