FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > For people going through a tough time
For people going through a tough time
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Reaching out and asking for help is my number one advice. Just tell someone. People do care and it's only when you actually say it can you get the help..
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well done OP. A great thread.
22 years of dealing with horrific scenes came to a boil following an assault in work. Acute stress and sleep deprivation coupled with that spiralled rapidly. I went to a psychotherapist who pulled me back from the edge. Spoke openly with close friends and colleagues. I can still find myself bottling up and not releasing my emotions which doesn’t do any good.
Talk and be honest.
Get fresh air.
Find something that makes you happy or where you lose yourself (not literally lost in hillwalking!)
Don’t self medicate with alcohol or drugs.
Don’t think you are on your own.
Fire, An alpha male. I’m here with you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Realise what is making you feel the way you do and be truthful with yourself about it whether it be a bad relationship job or whatever.
Make the changes you need to no matter how difficult it may seem at the time to start to change your life around.
Talk to people who you trust.
Realise that you do only get one life so make the most of it rather than just existing.
Everyone deserves to be happy even if you do need to make big changes first.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Talk things through with someone you trust and/or a professional
Work out what the real issues are
Take whatever action needs to be taken while also looking after yourself physically and emotionally
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Counselling helped me through the worse time in my life. Once you start opening up you'd be surprised at all the grief and anger you have been holding onto |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Well done OP. A great thread.
22 years of dealing with horrific scenes came to a boil following an assault in work. Acute stress and sleep deprivation coupled with that spiralled rapidly. I went to a psychotherapist who pulled me back from the edge. Spoke openly with close friends and colleagues. I can still find myself bottling up and not releasing my emotions which doesn’t do any good.
Talk and be honest.
Get fresh air.
Find something that makes you happy or where you lose yourself (not literally lost in hillwalking!)
Don’t self medicate with alcohol or drugs.
Don’t think you are on your own.
Fire, An alpha male. I’m here with you. "
It's hard to open up, but I'm glad you're getting to where you need to be. It takes strength to be vulnerable, never forget that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Anyone that is struggling or just wants someone to chat to, message me any time at all. Maybe no use bar being there for people, least I can do so happy to do it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Anyone that is struggling or just wants someone to chat to, message me any time at all. Maybe no use bar being there for people, least I can do so happy to do it. "
We need more people like you in the world |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Surround yourself with positive people ones who when your having a hard day will give you the space you need without having to explain yourself but are always there when ya need to chat.
Finding new things to do push your boundaries on a day to day basis
And try and get good sleep routine going.
All the best to anyone going through hard time x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well done OP. A great thread.
22 years of dealing with horrific scenes came to a boil following an assault in work. Acute stress and sleep deprivation coupled with that spiralled rapidly. I went to a psychotherapist who pulled me back from the edge. Spoke openly with close friends and colleagues. I can still find myself bottling up and not releasing my emotions which doesn’t do any good.
Talk and be honest.
Get fresh air.
Find something that makes you happy or where you lose yourself (not literally lost in hillwalking!)
Don’t self medicate with alcohol or drugs.
Don’t think you are on your own.
Fire, An alpha male. I’m here with you.
It's hard to open up, but I'm glad you're getting to where you need to be. It takes strength to be vulnerable, never forget that"
Fair play to you starting this thread. I hope it’ll be helpful to someone along the line. Times are far from easy and in the depth of despair it’s so easy to believe that you are on your own. I thought that I was on my own. I made a very late night phone call to a colleague and we stayed on the phone for hours. It was the single most important call I ever made. Find that someone or be that someone, whichever one the moment dictates. There is no script. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enguin1Man
over a year ago
The sticks |
Talk to someone who you can trust
Exercise definitely helps
Most people have been thru tough times so you're never alone, just reach out to someone, you'd be surprised how caring people can be when you least expect it.
I'm always willing to listen in a non-judgemental way....no one is perfect
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone that is struggling or just wants someone to chat to, message me any time at all. Maybe no use bar being there for people, least I can do so happy to do it.
We need more people like you in the world "
It's not much, here for anyone. Inbox always open. I find talking, exercise and doing things I enjoy like being outside helps alot |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Anyone that is struggling or just wants someone to chat to, message me any time at all. Maybe no use bar being there for people, least I can do so happy to do it.
We need more people like you in the world
It's not much, here for anyone. Inbox always open. I find talking, exercise and doing things I enjoy like being outside helps alot"
I admire your modesty but that "small" gesture can make a huge difference |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me"
All three of these, although i decreased exercise a little actually lol. I had to learn to take recovery maybe now i take to much recovery sometimes. But whatever works and what works for one may not work for another.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me
All three of these, although i decreased exercise a little actually lol. I had to learn to take recovery maybe now i take to much recovery sometimes. But whatever works and what works for one may not work for another. "
I totally relate to that, I was a bit dependent on the gym to deal with my emotions and went to the point where I hit burn out, it's a balancing act for sure |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me
All three of these, although i decreased exercise a little actually lol. I had to learn to take recovery maybe now i take to much recovery sometimes. But whatever works and what works for one may not work for another.
I totally relate to that, I was a bit dependent on the gym to deal with my emotions and went to the point where I hit burn out, it's a balancing act for sure"
I'm not sure the current obsession with gym work is entirely healthy, it can easily feed the fixation with body image and self-absorption that social media has already ramped to new heights. There are many forms of exercise which are more beneficial for the mind, particularly those involving outdoor exercise and social interaction. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me
All three of these, although i decreased exercise a little actually lol. I had to learn to take recovery maybe now i take to much recovery sometimes. But whatever works and what works for one may not work for another.
I totally relate to that, I was a bit dependent on the gym to deal with my emotions and went to the point where I hit burn out, it's a balancing act for sure
I'm not sure the current obsession with gym work is entirely healthy, it can easily feed the fixation with body image and self-absorption that social media has already ramped to new heights. There are many forms of exercise which are more beneficial for the mind, particularly those involving outdoor exercise and social interaction. "
Just on the point about outdoors...I have to agree. Personally, my head feels a much better space & I find I sleep better after a walk outdoors rather than a gym session. Don't get me wrong, I do find the gym helps elevate my mood if I'm feeling low but not as much as a good blast around in the fresh air |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me
All three of these, although i decreased exercise a little actually lol. I had to learn to take recovery maybe now i take to much recovery sometimes. But whatever works and what works for one may not work for another.
I totally relate to that, I was a bit dependent on the gym to deal with my emotions and went to the point where I hit burn out, it's a balancing act for sure
I'm not sure the current obsession with gym work is entirely healthy, it can easily feed the fixation with body image and self-absorption that social media has already ramped to new heights. There are many forms of exercise which are more beneficial for the mind, particularly those involving outdoor exercise and social interaction.
Just on the point about outdoors...I have to agree. Personally, my head feels a much better space & I find I sleep better after a walk outdoors rather than a gym session. Don't get me wrong, I do find the gym helps elevate my mood if I'm feeling low but not as much as a good blast around in the fresh air"
Nothing as uplifting for me as a walk on the mountain with a friend or two and our dogs  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There's no better way of blowing away the cobwebs. I'm speaking from experience and don't find gyms do anything for me. Wide open spaces and nature regardless of the weather are the reasons I'm here posting today. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eminexWoman
over a year ago
some where in outer space |
Talking ....to some one non judgemental and who will listen ...
Exercise ...clears the mind and you never feel bad after it ...I run.
Keeping busy ...simple things to occupy your mind ....might be a walk on the beach , coffee with a friend or drawing a picture ..
Don't be afraid to cry ... some times it gets rid of the horrible feelings ... And eventually you will smile again ..
If anyone ever needs to talk I'm a good listener ...
Keep shining guys x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me"
Great post and thread OP.
Talk, talk, talk. Whether it be someone you know or someone you've just met.
I'd always felt that if I shared a problem then I was burdening whom I was sharing it with. I changed that mindset when a mucker confided in me. We talked and talked, I even got stuff off my chest and it made us both feel better and our friendship even stronger. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
1)Get rid of people/relationships that make you unhappy. Not easy I know but if they’re sapping you’re self confidence and never there to support you when you’re feeling broken they don’t deserve to be a part of you anymore.
2)Talk to someone, tell everything your feeling, that can be a friend or a stranger. Your never truly alone, open yourself up and let people in.
3)Exercise, gym or outdoors. Personally outdoors is where I sort my thoughts out.
4) new friends and adventures are waiting for you, free yourself so you available when they arrive |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread is amazing, having me feeling warm and fuzzy on a Sunday afternoon
My addition to already great advice given is to have a "go to" method to try bring yourself back to the present moment if you are getting lost in dark/anxious thoughts/feelings,
Breathing techniques (wim Hoff, box breathing etc)
Tapping
5 4 3 2- 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can hear, 3 you can touch, 2 things you can smell.
Skipping, this just personally works for me and it's limited to when I can actually do it
Loads of others around and everyone is unique so play around and discover what works for you.
Have a great Sunday everyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Realising whats best yourself and learn to say no or you need help. No question is a stupid question.
Gym exercise
Doing things alone
Setting goals
Has helped me this past number or months.
As a few said above. Anyone needs help advice or needs to vent rant . Am here.
Sometimes its easy for a person to talk to a stranger than it is to someone the know incase the think there going to be judged. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Went through some tough times myself recently. Whilst not fully out the far side I am getting there. I've learned that you're never on your own. Surround yourself with those that matter most. Get outside and get active. And never never ever give up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone that is struggling or just wants someone to chat to, message me any time at all. Maybe no use bar being there for people, least I can do so happy to do it. "
Aw my buddy, always there with a shoulder to lean on...
People like you make a difference |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Counseling, that was the first step.
I am now running a program that is combining Mental health counseling with excerise. We have 18 men between the age of 18 -35 on this program with another 15 men who work in a multi national company who have also have mental health issues.
There is a waiting list of over 160 men and 80 child to receive our counseling services, with no funding from the government. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my experience, find something that keeps you busy but that you enjoy and find that passion for, then their is no time for negativity or overthinking. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Let's help people going through a difficult time.
What did you do to get yourself out of a hole? I'll go first
i) exercise
ii)talking
iii) dedicate time to me
All three of these, although i decreased exercise a little actually lol. I had to learn to take recovery maybe now i take to much recovery sometimes. But whatever works and what works for one may not work for another.
I totally relate to that, I was a bit dependent on the gym to deal with my emotions and went to the point where I hit burn out, it's a balancing act for sure
I'm not sure the current obsession with gym work is entirely healthy, it can easily feed the fixation with body image and self-absorption that social media has already ramped to new heights. There are many forms of exercise which are more beneficial for the mind, particularly those involving outdoor exercise and social interaction. "
100%, my view is do exercise that you enjoy, doesn't necessarily have to be gym, some people love the gym some people prefer different things |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"Counseling, that was the first step.
I am now running a program that is combining Mental health counseling with excerise. We have 18 men between the age of 18 -35 on this program with another 15 men who work in a multi national company who have also have mental health issues.
There is a waiting list of over 160 men and 80 child to receive our counseling services, with no funding from the government. "
That's amazing, fair play |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *og2018 OP Man
over a year ago
Letterkenny |
"I have two friends at min in a bad place and we started running. We walk / run and talk plus we just did 2 5k runs and they are over the moon that they were fit to do the 5k "
That's amazing and very proactive. Fair play to you guys |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have two friends at min in a bad place and we started running. We walk / run and talk plus we just did 2 5k runs and they are over the moon that they were fit to do the 5k "
I think fitness is even better for the mind than the body, fair play hope they get to a better place. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Being proactive, making changes, even small ones. Change enough small things and after a while you'll realise your whole life is differant. Just be methodical and disciplined, stick to the decisions you've made |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Probably not the most common way to deal with it but I've found some success in stoic philosophy. Reminding myself what is in my control and what isn't and adjusting what I allow to bother me accordingly. Occasionally I consider Sisyphus try to think him happy when the situation is absurd enough. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Probably not the most common way to deal with it but I've found some success in stoic philosophy. Reminding myself what is in my control and what isn't and adjusting what I allow to bother me accordingly. Occasionally I consider Sisyphus try to think him happy when the situation is absurd enough. "
I actually quite like stoicism.. In a nutshell, "things could always be worse". However it does require some rational thinking to grasp that and when one is in the depths of dispair the thinking is far from rational.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Probably not the most common way to deal with it but I've found some success in stoic philosophy. Reminding myself what is in my control and what isn't and adjusting what I allow to bother me accordingly. Occasionally I consider Sisyphus try to think him happy when the situation is absurd enough.
I actually quite like stoicism.. In a nutshell, "things could always be worse". However it does require some rational thinking to grasp that and when one is in the depths of dispair the thinking is far from rational.. "
I suppose prevention is better than cure and by practicing continually I find myself not falling so deep so often. But philosophy is far from a perfect science and ultimately its up to each individual how they deal with the world. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I went to india for an assignment recently..I felt pretty low before I left. I am normally the funny guy With the big smile always the charmer, so I am told but deep down going through a battle in my head. When I saw the poverty in india and of course I was being treated like royalty I felt guilty...my problems I was having all of a sudden felt insignificant and came back feeling less anxious about things in my life.
I still feel crap like the rest of us but I try and put it into perspective.
Oh and when that fails I go to the gym and push some weights ?? that does help me x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Antidepressants saved my fucking life.
They didn't make me feel better per se. But they took my mind off suicide and gave me the mental and emotional breathing room so I could actually try at therapy. After a few months of weekly sessions I was able to come off them and keep working on it on my own.
There's still so much stigma around medicating and, although fresh air and meditating etc can absolutely help a lot of people, there's no shame in knowing that you are too far gone for lifestyle fixes and getting yourself on the meds you need.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Antidepressants saved my fucking life.
They didn't make me feel better per se. But they took my mind off suicide and gave me the mental and emotional breathing room so I could actually try at therapy. After a few months of weekly sessions I was able to come off them and keep working on it on my own.
There's still so much stigma around medicating and, although fresh air and meditating etc can absolutely help a lot of people, there's no shame in knowing that you are too far gone for lifestyle fixes and getting yourself on the meds you need.
"
Thank you for being so open. Well done you. Xx
Similar story but I weaned off the meds a year ago. Cant say I will never go back on them again but feck the stigma.. always do what's right for you x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Thank you for being so open. Well done you. Xx
Similar story but I weaned off the meds a year ago. Cant say I will never go back on them again but feck the stigma.. always do what's right for you x"
You're so welcome. And congratulations on weaning off x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Antidepressants saved my fucking life.
They didn't make me feel better per se. But they took my mind off suicide and gave me the mental and emotional breathing room so I could actually try at therapy. After a few months of weekly sessions I was able to come off them and keep working on it on my own.
There's still so much stigma around medicating and, although fresh air and meditating etc can absolutely help a lot of people, there's no shame in knowing that you are too far gone for lifestyle fixes and getting yourself on the meds you need.
"
I don't think the stigma is there like it used to be. It takes a while to find a way to cope/manage and if meds are what works for a person, then so be it. I've been on and off meds for the past 19 years and feel no shame nor embarrassment about it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Thank you for starting this thread OP. I hope you are well. Message me if you need a chat.
Our mental health is the most important thing we can take care of. Sorry if this is kind of long but hopefully something in here will help someone.
This is just to add to what others already wrote, which was all good advice. Like exercise, taping and Wim Hof Method.
These are the things that help me: Having a good wake up morning song. Guided meditation. Affirmations. Writing in a journal or even a piece of paper you throw away afterwards.
I also have quotes I review often.
Replacing “Why is this happening to me?” with “What is this trying to tell me or teach me?”
There are 3 C’s in life: Choice, Chance and Change. You must make the choice, to take the chance, if you want anything to change.
I don’t think people realise how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally, so if you’ve done that today or any day, I’m proud of you.
Remember you are not alone. Be kind to yourself and to others, as you never know what someone else is going through.
Anyone needs to chat or a hug, message me. We are all in this together. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Interesting thread and really good one to have.
For me i take that many pills i rattle lol from the anti depressants to the sleeping ones, they dont suit everyone but they do me.
The most important thing about mental health is talking about it, until you do that nothing will change or get better.
I hid mine for about year and half from people and when finally opened up was weight off my shoulders.
Well thats my 2 cents into this lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A very good friend sent me this:
“What has helped me the most was realising that my emotions are my emotions, my feelings are my feelings and my intentions are my intentions. If I can be honest with myself with all of these, then nobody can take them! I appreciate that it is not easy being honest about such things with yourself but it will develop a much stronger sense of self, and in the end, the only person who can take yourself from you is in fact you.“
Hope that helps.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
The only thing you can control is you, your emotions, feelings and intentions.
Change your mind, change your perspective, change your life.
The power of positive thinking.
(Not easy but practice makes perfect). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A very good friend sent me this:
“What has helped me the most was realising that my emotions are my emotions, my feelings are my feelings and my intentions are my intentions. If I can be honest with myself with all of these, then nobody can take them! I appreciate that it is not easy being honest about such things with yourself but it will develop a much stronger sense of self, and in the end, the only person who can take yourself from you is in fact you.“
Hope that helps.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.
The only thing you can control is you, your emotions, feelings and intentions.
Change your mind, change your perspective, change your life.
The power of positive thinking.
(Not easy but practice makes perfect)."
So so true sexylady |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Well I have never been depressed or anything.
But why would people lie to themselves?
I control my thoughts they dont control me. Thoughts have no weight, any weight they have, you yourself applied to them. You took a thought or an opinion and you added 100kg to it yourself and your weighed down with all this stuff.
So have a look at some of the thoughts weighing you down, and cut some of the strings to let them float away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well I have never been depressed or anything.
But why would people lie to themselves?
I control my thoughts they dont control me. Thoughts have no weight, any weight they have, you yourself applied to them. You took a thought or an opinion and you added 100kg to it yourself and your weighed down with all this stuff.
So have a look at some of the thoughts weighing you down, and cut some of the strings to let them float away."
I said to my son this morning in a text "it's just a feeling, it will pass, it doesn't have to become your reality" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well I have never been depressed or anything.
But why would people lie to themselves?
I control my thoughts they dont control me. Thoughts have no weight, any weight they have, you yourself applied to them. You took a thought or an opinion and you added 100kg to it yourself and your weighed down with all this stuff.
So have a look at some of the thoughts weighing you down, and cut some of the strings to let them float away."
If only it were that easy... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Well I have never been depressed or anything.
But why would people lie to themselves?
I control my thoughts they dont control me. Thoughts have no weight, any weight they have, you yourself applied to them. You took a thought or an opinion and you added 100kg to it yourself and your weighed down with all this stuff.
So have a look at some of the thoughts weighing you down, and cut some of the strings to let them float away.
If only it were that easy..."
Wish it was too, things be a lot differant for me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nFlynnMan
over a year ago
Dublin |
"I need help dont know were to go dealing with loss of my son "
If you think talking it out with a stranger might help I’m happy to listen.
My default setting is happy and positive bit I do know how grief can make you feel lost.
This too will pass but in the mean time talking might help you.
Love to you and your family on the loss of your son. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I get overwhelmed and feel that I can't cope, I break my day into Chunks! A chunk can be as small as putting your feet out of bed or getting through a meeting. The aim is not to think too far ahead and deal with the day bit by bit. This was my mother's advice which I later came to understand as "mindfulness" and "living in the moment". This advice has gotten me through some rough times. That and cuddling my dogs and cats. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I need help dont know were to go dealing with loss of my son "
Hi Tom,
I have been and still am in the exact same position you find yourself in right now.It happened over 10yrs ago and a day that you can never get out of your head.
I was like you for many years,not knowing were to turn to deal with that constant pain.I tried everything....constantly going out weekend and alot of weeknights drinking as well as other substances to block out that pain,loss,hurt and several other feelings.I would lash at family members if they tried to talk to me,so much so that they stopped asking.Friends were often on the recieving end of this as well clients i was working for.
I tried bereavment counselling and seeing other counsellors but it just was'nt for me.I eventually turned to 2 of my closest friends as they had tried to help previously and just spoke to them about everything that was on my mind.I'm in a better place than what i was before but yes i still have bad days and its the only thing i think about but i have my 2 friends to turn too when these times strike.To this day i still don't talk to anyone from my family about it.
If there is anyone in your circle of friends/work/family or even a stranger don't be afraid to say that you need to talk to them.Happy to chat with you myself if you want as well.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
